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My heart was racing.

It had only been minutes since Scott had sent his message, but already I felt like I'd made him wait too long.

I stared at what I'd written, mind numbed by joy. I couldn't process the words I'd put down. So I hit send, trusting my instinct. Trusting my desire, my need to have him back.

_Scott, it's ok. This year's been hard for me too. I could pour all of my miseries into a message but I don't want to do that. Are you free tomorrow? Come to mine. Come whenever, actually. My door's always open for you. Always has been, always will be. But tomorrow night I'll do ribs for you.

There's two others staying here right now. One of them's Kenneth's son, Cam. I've been meaning to do something special for them too and I'd really love it if you were there.

I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way you'd hoped. They didn't for me either. There's a lot I want to say to you Scott, but I've missed you. A lot. It's been hard without you. But you're right, I feel like a jackass typing this all to you too.

I'm really excited to see you again. If tomorrow isn't good, let me know when is.

Love, Rob._

I leant back against my pillows, breathing heavy. This was... perfect. While I wanted to go right back to a relationship with him, I wouldn't be upset at all if we just stayed friends. That was better than nothing. Maybe I'd be able to move on if we were still close. Maybe he would too.

My phone buzzed again. I jolted up to read it.

_Tomorrow is good. I'll see you soon ;)

See you soon._

I replied.

A hefty exhalation brought peace to me. I was so glad. So, so glad.

There was a lightness about me I hadn't felt before. Like I'd just dumped a mountain off of my shoulders. The future no longer looked so bleak, so lonely. I lay there for almost an hour, smiling as I daydreamed about tomorrow. It was something to look forward to for the first time in so long.

Eventually I got up to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. I was standing in the hall, pyjamas under my arm when I heard the front door squeak open and then shut. I tilted my head and glanced around the corner.

A whimper dropped from my throat. I wasn't capable of any other sound. My brain shut down in that moment because things just weren't making a lot of sense. Fear lunged for my thoughts but died under a rush of joy before I could react.

"You weren't kidding, door's always open for me." Scott stood there, a wry grin on his face. His fur was a lighter shade of brown than mine and he'd put on a bit of weight, usually he was skinnier than me. He wore his leather jacket and a pair of ripped jeans like he hadn't changed at all.

My pyjamas hit the floor. I sprinted at him, my footfalls loud and heavy. I hugged him so hard we stumbled back into the door as he caught me. He smelled as he always did, with a hint of sweat and motor oil. It was so familiar, so normal to be held in his arms. I wasn't ready for this. Wasn't at all. I felt him hesitate at first, but it didn't take long for him to hug me back just as hard as I held him.

Nothing else had felt so right to me. It took all I was to hold onto myself. To not break down into a blubbering mess. He rubbed my back then let his hold on me loosen. I was a bit more reluctant to let go, but I did. He had a few inches height on me, and I stared up into his eyes as I leant away.

I wasn't going to screw this up.

"Really not sure what I expected," he said, smiling at me. "But I take it you're surprised."

I couldn't even speak, only nod. I was dumbfounded. I didn't think he meant tonight when he said he'd see me soon.

"Had a delicious bottle of red laying around." He raised his hand, some fancy label wine I didn't recognize. "And an empty night. So here I am. You look like shit, by the way."

I snorted, eyes clouding. "And you're a fatass again."

"Yeah, fuck." He slapped a hand against his belly. "Happens when you can't even make yourself a salad."

"You look good though, kinda like when you were in your thirties." I smiled at that. The entire decade of our thirties we'd only taken two breaks from each other, it was the longest we'd managed to stay together. Any reminder of that was good.

"And you look like you've not slept in a month." He sighed. "There's something I'd like to do but all of me is telling me not to."

"Whatever it is, I think I'll survive."

"Maybe that's the problem." He squinted at me and shrugged. "Ah hell."

He leant forward and kissed me briefly on the lips, barely more than a peck. I could've melted into him.

"Bound to happen sooner or later, right?" He stared me in the eyes.

"Pretty mundane as far as greetings go between us." I nodded, desperate to play it calm. I raised my arms to gesture him in. "Come in, make yourself at home."

"Honestly already feels like home again." He sighed. "Am I staying the night?"

"Uh, I dunno. Are you?" My heart started quaking.

"Guess it depends how much wine I drink." He stared at the bottle in his paw, an obvious grimace on his face. He hung his head, posture shifted in a way that made me worry. "Did the last year even happen?" He jerked his gaze over to me.

I wasn't sure how to respond, but I saw no reason to pretend I hadn't suffered too.

"Unfortunately, yeah." More bitterness than I intended slipped into my voice.

"There it is. Knew you hated it." His grimace sharpened. "I came tonight because I wanted to know if it felt like we really had broken up or not." His gaze fell from my eyes. "Guess I was just torturing the both of us." Regret tainted his voice.

"Nah, we broke up." I tried not to sound upset, just strong. I don't know if I succeeded. "That doesn't erase what, 33 years being together? We were 15 right?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "Maybe you're right. I dunno." He stepped right up in my face so that our noses were touching. "Why's it feel like nothing's changed then?"

"Does it?" I pecked him on the lips. "Hmm." I kissed him again, and again. And again, pushing him back towards my couch with a dozen more. He fell back against it, I fell onto him and sat in his lap, gripping his cheeks as I pashed him for as long as our breaths would hold.

I rest my head on his shoulder, smiling. This was what I wanted. This right here. Fuck. I couldn't lose him again. "You might be right."

"And how do you feel about that?" he asked, voice a little guarded. I ruffled the fur on his head.

"We still broke up." I nibbled at his neck. My heart felt like it was about to explode.

"Am I your boyfriend again already then?" He kissed my snout.

"Nah. We're just catching up." I rolled off of him, grinning though it pained me to not lunge at the opportunity. I wanted that more than anything, but I knew what he was afraid of. He didn't want things to be just like they were, and if I fucked up in proving they wouldn't be I'd never forgive myself.

"Good answer." He exhaled. "Damn." He looked around. "Didn't you say there were people staying with you?"

"Cam and Tristan." As I said their names, something lit up on his face. "They're around. I dunno what they're doing, guess it is a little weird they didn't come check on me after all that." I stretched and put an arm around his shoulder, shameless. He didn't shrug it off.

"Are you going to get glasses for us, or are we savages?" He gently tilted the bottle in his hand.

"It's not like they've moved if you want them."

"So we're savages." He tore out the cork and took a sip, sharp teeth bared. "Feels like a waste of good wine."

"Have we ever been anything but?"

He glanced to me and laughed. "Fucker." He shoved the bottle into my hands and got up. He returned a moment later with two wine glasses and put them on the table before taking off his jacket. "Great host you are." He threw his jacket on the sofa chair, good humor in his voice.

"I'm not hosting shit, you still might as well be living here. Nothing's changed around the place."

He sighed as he poured us both generous glasses of wine.

"Alright." He lifted a glass into my hands and cheersed me. "Guess I'm soppy because I have missed this. A lot."

I put my nose over the glass, sniffing in the wine. I took a sip, it was rich and buttery smooth. The sort of wine you could gulp. Dangerous. And with alcohol in our hands, even before we'd started really drinking I felt comfortable enough to speak part of my mind.

"Scott, the entire last year has been shit."

"Agreed." He sighed as he sat back down. "I'm sorry. I-"

"Fuck that, you were desperate to get away from me because I wasn't treating you right. This isn't your fault." I took another sip of wine.

He stared at me for a long moment. "Can we just call it our fault?"

"Done." I smirked. "But I'm listening if there's more I need to change so you're comfortable."

"You say that like we're dating again already." He took a long sip from his glass, a quizzical look on his face.

I shook my head. "Same applies for any way we might stay in contact, as friends, lovers, fuckbuddies, whatever it ends up being." I spoke as calmly as I could, trying to make sure nothing jumped out as what I wanted it to be.

"See, you say that, but what do you really want?"

"For both of us to be happy."

"Together?" He cut me a sly glance.

"Only if that's what's right." I struggled to speak that in a neutral tone.

"You're lying through your teeth and I know why you're doing it." He scratched under my chin. "I think I actually like that better."

"Yeah, whatever." I waved his hand away, annoyed he'd figured me out. "I'm not subtle."

"Neither." He planted a wet smooch on my cheek. "Didn't want to give you time to prepare tonight. Wanted to know what you were really feeling."

I squinted at him, thinking for a moment. I didn't want to confess my feelings quiet yet.

"We're not talking about anything at all, are we?" I deflected and took a sip of wine.

"No, just stalling." He shrugged. "If you'll do better I'm down to try again. There. It's been said." Joy crested in my chest, I was so happy to hear that. Then he spoke again. "Fuck, that's not even accurate. If you'll do better, I want to try again."

"Ah, Scott." I smiled into my glass, unsure if I was about to laugh or burst into tears or both. Too much passion there. I choked it all back.

"What? Too much?" He feigned surprise.

"Nah. It's perfect."

He regarded me warmly for a short moment, his brown eyes lit by decades of passion we'd already shared. "I think so too." Then he sighed and placed a hand on my belly. "I learned something funny this year."

"What?"

"I'm bad at sex."

I snorted, a dumb smile on my face. I was too, trying to suck off Tristan had proved that. "No you're not."

"Yeah I am. I only know how to make you happy. Don't know shit about guys in general." His hand traced down my body to caress my inner thigh. I arched my back, sensitive to his touch. He'd gone through similar to me then, unsure how to even make others happy. "This is all going faster than I meant it to, but that doesn't feel wrong. When we're done with this bottle, we're going to mess around again."

He flicked his gaze up to my eyes as he spoke. Even if I wasn't desperate for him, that would've made me want it at least a little bit. That assertion, just mentioning his intent. That was the sort of thing that could get him in trouble with other guys, but between us I'd always wanted that. And he knew it.

If it'd only start when the bottle was empty... I raised an eyebrow, staring at him as I lifted my glass to my lips with a devious grin.

"Rush that and I fucking walk." He sounded deadly serious.

I took a small sip. "What?" I smirked. "You probably paid a fair bit for this, I'd hate to waste it."

His eyes narrowed. "You're such an asshole, you know?" And maybe I would've been concerned but I knew what he sounded like when he was actually peeved about something, and this wasn't it.

"Yeah." I gulped a third of my glass. A year ago, I would've done worse. I hadn't meant for this to turn into a gesture that suggested I'd changed but if he saw it as one then I'd be happy.

He tried to glower but a smile betrayed him. "Dickhead." He shook his head. "How many guys have you been with this past year?"

"One. Eh, guess it's two. Never really had much with them." I shrugged. I wanted to mention it was Cam and Tristan, but now wasn't the time.

"Ah. See I tried to rebound with these nice guys. Man. Fuck nice guys." He screwed up his face. "You're the biggest asshole I've ever met and all that means is I know what to expect and that I like putting my tongue in you." He took a lengthy sip from his glass, eyes narrow. "I swear I wasn't horny when I got here. You did this to me."

A wicked smile filled my face.

I put my glass down on the table and undid the top button of his shirt. He stared at me as I fluffed up his darker chest fur.

"Only one?" He cocked his head.

"For now."

"You chose a pretty average button to undo." He dropped a paw to the front of my pants and unclasped the button above my fly. His fingers brushed through the tuft of fur that stuck out at the bottom of my belly. "Or am I not meant to go there if you've got guests?"

"It'll be fine." I shot him a wink. "What's off limits for you?"

"Babe. You know me. Nothing." He sipped at his wine, I did the same. What he said wasn't entirely true, but I knew where his boundaries sat and I wasn't going to go near them.

Staring at him was a strange thing. The longer my eyes lingered, the more I wanted to kiss him. So I did. I leant over and pushed my tongue into his mouth and kissed him until the urge was sated. When I leant back, he'd undone my fly. I saw no issue sitting there with the front of my pants open, bulge on full display for him.

I drained the last of my glass and undid the rest of his shirt buttons. He went to refill my glass. "Hold up." I grabbed his wrist. "Something I have to do first." I threw back the edge of his shirt and buried my muzzle in his armpit.

This is what all of the best moments in my life had smelled like, and this was no exception.

This was what I'd spent an entire year wanting more than anything. And all that loneliness only made this moment that much sweeter.

I breathed him in, still all sweaty from a day's work as a mechanic. He lifted his arm to give me easier access. I rubbed my face in the still slightly damp fur and growled as I licked at him. The salty taste of his sweat delighted me.

"I've missed you," I muttered, still rubbing myself in his musk. "Nothing's felt right without you. Nothing."

His hand dropped to the back of my head, he forced me even harder against his pit. I whimpered as I really sniffed him in.

"Ah, fuck Rob." His hand trailed down to my crotch to squeeze me. "Wished you said something sooner. Wish I said something at all." He sighed, then guided my head to his nipple. I teased the sensitive flesh with my teeth and ran my tongue over it. He grunted.

I was so horny my head hurt. I needed him. I'd smell like him, please him any way he wanted. Do anything for him. So long as he stayed. I was desperate, but more than that, I was his in this moment. He could do anything he wanted to me and I'd let him.

I think he knew that.

He pushed me away.

A year ago it might've hurt that he'd rejected me. I would've leant back against him and kept going. But I meant it now when I said he could do anything to me and I'd let him, including push me back. If he wanted me to wait, I would.

I sat back against the couch, breathing hard as I stared at him. Happy to let my eyes wander across a body I knew so well. He was so sexy with his shirt undone like that.

He was smiling as he poured us both a second glass of wine.

"Wouldn't want you ruining your palate." He placed my glass back in my hand then emptied his own glass in a long draught. "Also wouldn't want to keep you waiting." He burped.

"How much did the bottle cost?" I peered curiously at the glass.

"Eight bucks." He snickered.

"Fuck, are you serious?"

"Just drink it."

I threw it back.

He poured us another, and the bottle was empty and soon our glasses were once again.

I was a bit woozy from downing so much so fast, but after I'd possibly drank more gin than water in the last year it wasn't too bad. He looked smashed however. Obviously tipsy as he grinned at me, then he flopped into my lap and nuzzled my crotch. He rest his chin right on my cock as he rubbed his head against my belly.

"Early warning." He giggled as he spoke. "Haven't done much but jerk off for the last few months, so. Don't expect a lot out of me I'm kinda ready to go right now." He kissed the front of my underwear.

After Tristan, I was curious to see how Scott would compare. So I rubbed the back of his head, ground his snout into my bulge until he was licking at the fabric. He started tugging at my pants until they were around my knees, then he yanked my undies down too.

My cock smacked the side of his face. He grinned as he planted a smooch right on the slit. He opened his mouth to take me, but something gave him pause.

"Your balls are like raisins. How much action are you getting?" He laughed as dipped under my cock to kiss them too.

"Long story." I scratched at his ears, rubbing my nuts over his face. "Actually maybe not. Short story. Tristan's got a hungry mouth."

"How hungry we talking?" Scott smiled up at me.

I probably should've asked first, but I knew Scott and I knew the sort of surprises he reacted well to. Whatever I'd envisioned for this changed in an instant. "Tristan!" I called out.

Scott raised his head, a strange look on his face.

"Relax." I cut him a smirk, hoping my judgement was clear enough. Scott had always been the one to push for threesomes.

Tristan emerged from his room, eyes twinkling as he saw us both half naked on the couch. I whistled and pointed to Scott's crotch.

Tristan didn't even say hi, just went wide-eyed and took place on the floor between Scott's legs. Scott watched him closely, but didn't stop him from unzipping the fly on Scott's pants and nuzzling his underwear.

"Damn." Scott turned to me. "How long's he been-mmf-been here for?" Tristan had stuck his nose past the edge of Scott's undies and was licking the bear's cock.

"Nearly a week."

"You horny fucker." Scott tickled my balls. "Oh god." His head rolled back as Tristan removed his underwear and started going down on him proper.

I raised my feet to the back of the young lion's head and pushed him down. I wanted that cocksucker to give his best. Scott was moaning, his lips twitched in pleasure. And maybe I was a little jealous of Tristan as it happened, but that was fine. There'd be so much time for me to do the same to Scott later.

Plus it wasn't like I wasn't contributing to the pleasure Scott was feeling. If there was anything Scott had missed about me, it was now stacked atop Tristan's head. His paws were already moving to cup my feet. It took a moment, but Scott leant forward to press his nose into the pads of my foot. It tickled as he sniffed at me. He made a deep throaty sound.

"Fuck." He groaned, his mouth hung open and he gave me lusty eyes. "I forgot." He forced his nose between my toes and snorted the scent of my foot sweat. He lapped at my footpads, moaning wildly as Tristan purred. Scott's tongue was warm and wet between my pads.

I always loved him cleaning my feet. Of all the perverted things we'd done to each other, this was the one thing that made me feel a bit dominant. The one thing he'd never had issue with me going too far with. As far as my feet were concerned, nothing was too far for Scott.

My cock twitched as he slurped at me. Fuck. Watching him get the blowie of his life and play with my feet was too hot.

I lifted my other foot and rubbed it over the top of his snout. He scrunched up his face as he started suckling on my toes. A lengthy moan rumbled out of him. Tristan started bobbing up and down faster.

"Too much." Scott grunted, shaking his head as he leant back to stare at the ceiling, thrusting his hips. I raised my foot up to his face. His eyes scrunched shut. His chest heaved as he came. Tristan purred as he started swallowing Scott's load.

"Good isn't he?" I asked, grinning as I shoved my foot into Scott's open mouth. He could barely nod as he continued thrusting and grunting a few moments longer. Then he exhaled hard, moved his head away from my foot and went still, save for his panting. Tristan lifted his head.

"That all?" he asked me, eyes on my cock.

"For now." I grinned at him, and he left.

Scott watched him go. "Where the fuck do I get one of those?"

"Right here." I poked his cheek with my toe. "Stay."

"You make a tempting offer." He nuzzled my ankle. "I think I'd be stupid to turn it down." He kissed the central pad of my foot. "I can't believe I forgot how hot this gets me."

"Surprising, didn't think there was a stinky feet shortage out there."

"Nah." He lowered my foot to his crotch, I rubbed it against his fat cock. He was a little wider than mine and a smidge shorter. "Other guys never did it for me. Think it's a bear thing, or a you thing. Nobody else smells quite the same."

"I'm just glad there's something." I laughed. Words burned in my throat. After everything we'd just done, everything we'd done in the past, it felt wrong not to speak them. "I still love you."

"Yeah." He sighed and crawled over my body. "I know." He kissed me on the lips. He tasted and smelled like my feet. Doubtless, I still smelled like him too. "Let's talk about this some time we're not drunk."

"Sounds good."

"How do you want me to get you off?"

That question had a few good answers I could give, all of them appealing. But despite how horny I was right now, there was something I cared about a great deal more than an orgasm.

"In the morning, after a night of cuddling." I stared into his eyes, proud of myself.

He nodded. "Glad you said that." He stood up and stretched, before kicking out of his pants and discarding his unbuttoned shirt. I slapped his ass, and smiled at him before I left my clothes in a crumpled pile on the couch as well. We walked naked, arms around each other as we canoodled on our path towards my bed.

My bed?

Our bed?

I wasn't too sure.

I was just drunk and stupid happy to be with the asshole I loved more than anything, and all those feelings were stronger because I knew he felt the same. We cuddled, bellies pressed against each other, trading kisses back and forth. But I was hard as a rock and getting pre all over his thigh. He dropped a paw to my cock and started working it, still kissing me.

It was something so simple, yet so wanted.

Handjobs didn't do a lot for me, but it was Scott's hand, back on my cock where it belonged. I was grunting, hardly able to breathe as he started to kiss me harder, his tongue started pushing deeper into my muzzle.

I was breathing heavy, entire body shaking as he kept pumping my cock harder and harder. I started wincing, moaning as an orgasm built in my chest but he kept going harder still.

I gasped, body tense as pleasure erupted through my chest and he directed my cumshot over my belly. He kissed me longer as I panted into his mouth, then broke it to slink down and lick my orgasm out of my fur.

He pressed his lips back against mine, and we traded more kisses back and forth, now laced with the salty taste of my cum. He loved this sort of shit, and I loved him for being such a horny fucker. During our college years I used to affectionately call him a cum fiend.

Maybe I'd bring that back.

Fuck it felt so good to touch back on those memories and not cringe away from them.

We kept kissing until we fell asleep. I'd never felt so comfortable before.

I had my place in this world back. I'd found it again, in his arms.