Chapter Two
#3 of The Roommate
The entire day turned out to be torture for Xaver. He couldn't stop worrying over whether he was going to be fired or not, and thinking about what he would do if he had no job only made him worry even more. If only he had just stayed home in his nice, safe apartment, then none of this would have happened.
He looked at his watch and heaved a dejected sigh. It was still a couple of hours until he could leave. He was so agitated and nervous that he could barely focus on anything, and he was sure that wasn't improving his employee image at all.
He was completely unprepared to find himself encountered by his boss for the second time that day. He happened to be sitting in his chair, leaning down to retrieve the paper airplane he had boredly created, when he felt the legs of his chair being kicked by somebody. He knew it was Hiro before he even saw the retriever.
"You don't look very productive," the short canine remarked. "I ought to throw you out of here right this minute."
Xaver felt a surge of irritation run through him and he scowled at his boss, folding his ears back on his head, while the hairs on his tail began to stand on end. He may be anti-social, but it didn't mean he couldn't be assertive or aggressive when he wanted to be. "The only reason Santa Claus isn't using you as an elf is because your damn ugly face would have scared the other elves away."
Hiro twitched and resisted the urge to smack the big cat. "You're just picking on my height because you're insecure about yourself. You're an under-confident pussy. I would say you suck balls, but I know you don't know how."
Furious, Xaver stood up to his full height and glared down at Hiro, feeling superior and better about himself because he was taller. "If you're just here to harass me, then go away. You can't blame me for being unproductive because it's all your fault right now for interrupting me."
Hiro gave the cougar a push on the chest and forced him back into his chair. "Sit down and quit insulting me. I just came to have a little talk with you. I've gotten to know most of my workers here except for you and I want to change that."
Xaver was suspicious. "What's the point if you're just going to fire me?"
"Maybe I just have nothing to do with my time and want something new to do. Did you ever think of that?" Hiro responded, subtly refusing to answer Xaver's question.
"Then go bother somebody else. I'm in no mood for talking to you."
Hiro smirked. "That just makes me want to talk to you even more. It's a psychological thing. Your unwillingness makes me want to disobey your wishes and do the opposite." As if that statement finalized everything, he grabbed a nearby chair and set it beside Xaver's. "So... how are you today?"
Xaver scowled. "I'm terrible today. How else would I be? My boss is a stupid dickhead."
The small dog gave a creepy smile. "Would you like to suck the head of my dick?"
"Hell no!" Xaver looked both startled and angry. "It was just an expression! It proves what a complete asshole you are!"
Hiro's smile grew wider. "Yeah, I have an asshole. Do you want to penetrate it? Or can I penetrate yours?"
Xaver clenched his hands into angry fists. "Fuck you."
"Go ahead then." The other male shrugged. "I don't mind being on bottom sometimes."
Xaver was about ready to throw a childish tantrum. He was currently in one of the most aggravating conversations imaginable. "It's no use cussing at you. You turn every word into something sexual."
"Does that offend you, Xaver? Sex is everywhere and you can't ignore it. I'm sure you get horny every now and then." A large grin came across the canine's maw.
Xaver's body froze and he avoided the other male's eyes, feeling disturbed. This was a topic he never gave much thought to. He couldn't stand to make friends with people, and the thought of having sex with anyone sounded even worse. "That's none of your business, Hiro."
"You sound like a virgin!" the shorter fur exclaimed with a slight giggle. "An asexual one! Haven't you ever wanted to have hot, dirty sex with anybody, Xaver? You're missing out on a lot of fun."
"I just don't feel like doing it. So what if I'm asexual? I don't care much for people and I never will, and I'm sure my life wouldn't be any more fun if I had a meaningless fuck with somebody. It's really none of your business anyway, like I already told you."
Hiro nodded. "You're right, it's not." He smiled wickedly. "But it's interesting information to have." He stood up and put his chair back where he found it. "It was nice talking to you, Xaver. This was a valuable conversation." With a mysterious expression on his face, he waved to Xaver and walked away.
Xaver watched his boss slowly disappear and felt both very confused and extremely freaked out. He was sure that Hiro was hiding something and had some sinister motive that he wasn't revealing, and he truly dreaded what the next day would bring. He didn't trust Hiro at all and found himself wishing that the day had never started in the first place.
Hiro was excited. Ideas had been taking shape in his mind all day, trying to morph together into one big concept. He already knew the basis of what he was going to do, but he needed to decide all of the details. Having a talk with Xaver had provided some very good material to build his plan with.
"Hiro!"
The short fur woke up from his daze of thoughts and glanced around, trying to locate where the sound had come from.
"Hiro, I know you're from Munchkin Land, but that doesn't make you deaf and blind." The voice was very familiar, and Hiro sighed when he saw Kyle approaching him. Didn't the taller canine have anything to do with his time at all?
"What do you want, Kyle?"
Kyle giggled and put an arm around his boss. "You said you would spend time with me and you haven't done it yet. I've been bored to death all day."
"Well I've been busy," Hiro said, scowling slightly. "I've had a lot of things on my mind and you're interrupting my thought process. Aren't you capable of entertaining yourself at all?"
"But masturbating isn't as much fun!"
Hiro sighed again. "The world doesn't revolve around sex, Kyle. I love it just as much as you do, but I also focus on my job."
"I guess maybe it's not just about the sex," Kyle admitted. "I'm also lonely."
"Well then you're a pathetic bitch," the smaller dog said unsympathetically. "If you're lonely, then make some friends around here and hang out with them and quit harassing your boss." He knew he was being rude and he didn't exactly mean half of the things he said, but he had suddenly gone into a bad mood as soon as Kyle first spoke to him. He hated being interrupted and it turned him into a bit of an asshole.
Kyle looked like he was about to cry. Hiro ignored him, knowing that the other canine was both overly sensitive and dramatic. "Hiro, you're a bastard," Kyle said. "I guess someone your size doesn't have enough room in your small body for kindness." He turned around and walked away.
Stupid Hiro. Kyle didn't know why he constantly sought out such a bad-tempered, vertically challenged fur, but he couldn't help it. Every time he had sex with his boss, it was enjoyable, exhilarating, and took the boredom out of his workday. He supposed there was something else there too, but he couldn't put a name on it and didn't want to.
Kyle sighed and headed back to his desk, where he would probably fall asleep since doing work only bored him. There was really no point in trying to improve his level of productivity; he and Hiro both knew very well how he managed to keep his job.
On the way to his desk, he ran into Bel, the new employee. Bel had been working there almost a week and Kyle had probably gotten only five words out of him. Though the rabbit was quiet, he was the prettiest fur Kyle had ever seen before and he felt that such an attractive person should really be more social.
He smiled amiably. "Hey, Bel. What's up?"
The feminine rabbit shrugged. "Nothing."
"Well do you want to hang out with me? You don't really know anyone here yet and I haven't gotten anything else to do."
"I don't know..." Bel said.
Kyle was already frustrated. "Damn it, can't you say more than three words at a time? I'm trying to have a conversation with you!"
Bel looked a bit taken aback. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you mad."
Now it was Kyle's turn to look shocked. "Holy crap. I think that's the most I've ever heard you say." He gave the brown rabbit a friendly hug. "Good for you! That's the first step!"
Bel looked more startled then before and pulled out of Kyle's embrace. "I need to get back to work..." He quickly scurried away and soon disappeared from sight. Kyle decided that the other fur was the strangest one he had ever met and vowed to learn more about him.
He had already spoken with Xaver, but now Hiro needed to use Oscuro to put his idea together and make it complete. His bad mood had worn off and his state of excitement returned; he even felt like laughing out loud because of what currently went on in his mind.
He knew that Oscuro never maintained a steady relationship with anyone and quickly grew bored with people. He occasionally had sex with Kyle and involved himself in other meaningless one-night stands, never able to find the right person. Hiro was sure that with his horribly unstable sex life, Oscuro would willingly be part of his plan.
Xaver needed some punishment for being such a rude son of a bitch. Hiro looked forward to torturing him. If the big cat really wanted his job, he would give in to his boss's demands and it would be fun when he did. Hiro felt wonderfully evil.
After searching for a couple of minutes, he found Oscuro wandering around playing games on his cell phone. At the back of his mind Hiro knew he didn't have enough control over his employees, though he refused to admit it and tried to convince himself that his workers were simply too stupid to be managed. He tried to be a menacing, strict boss, but most people just saw him as a little guy throwing a tantrum and they tended to pay almost no attention to him. Many of his employees were at the top of the list of things that Hiro hated the most.
Hiro crept up behind Oscuro and gave him a light shove in the back. "You never focus on anything serious, do you?"
Startled, Oscuro dropped his phone. "Shit!" He bent to pick it up, but Hiro beat him to it and shoved it in his pocket.
"You can have it back tomorrow," the short dog said sternly. "I think the main reason I keep you is because if you weren't here, I wouldn't have anyone to yell at all the time."
"Sorry, but I just can't focus sometimes," Oscuro responded. "You don't understand because you have it easy. You're the boss. All you do is sit around and tell people what to do, and occasionally fuck some of your workers."
"It's really not that easy. I've got a lot of dumbasses working for me, like you." Hiro paused and realized he was lecturing instead of doing what he had set out to do. "That's not the point though. You're not really in trouble this time. I just came to have a talk with you."
Oscuro looked slightly surprised; either because he wasn't in trouble or because Hiro wanted to talk to him, or perhaps both. "If you want to have a personal conversation with me, then it can't be anything good. Are you firing me?"
"I should, and I will if you don't be quiet and hear me out on what I have to say." Hiro glared up at the tall deer, though he knew that had no effect upon Oscuro. His expression relaxed a bit as he began speaking again. "I bet you're tired of never being with the same person for more than a couple of days. I think I might be able to help you. How would you like to have a nice virgin who will most likely stay at home all the time? He needs somebody to give him a fun sex life and I think you're just the right guy."
The look on Oscuro's face turned into one of confusion. "You're trying to set me up with someone?" This was certainly unusual behavior from his boss.
"I guess you could put it that way," the smaller man replied. "His name's Xaver and he works here too, but I don't think you've ever met him. He's a pretty attractive guy, especially since he's an anti-social virgin who's most likely innocent when it comes to male sexual acts. You interested?"
"It's always fun to take someone's virginity," Oscuro said, thinking aloud. "But I still don't know why you're doing this, Hiro. You could be tricking me."
"To tell you the truth, I planned to lay Xaver off and he's giving me a hard time about it. I'm going to make a deal with him, but I need you to help me." Realizing he shouldn't keep any secrets from the other man, Hiro told Oscuro his plan.
"Hiro, you are a fucking crazy bastard," was Oscuro's response after Hiro finished explaining.
The short dog smiled. "I know I am. But if you do as I tell you, we'll both benefit from this. I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I can manipulate Xaver, and if you're lucky you'll get some hot ass. If you say no, then I'll fire you."
Hiro was scowling slightly and though Oscuro couldn't tell if his boss was serious about the firing part, he decided not to take any chances. "I'm in desperate need of a bitch right now, so I might as well do it."
"Good." Hiro felt relieved. "I'm warning you though; Xaver's going to be a challenge. Want to see him?"
Oscuro nodded his head eagerly. "Yeah!"
Hiro led the grey-haired deer through the building until he found Xaver sitting down in his seat working. "There he is." He approached Xaver, leaned against a nearby desk, and cleared his throat.
Xaver turned his head to face Hiro and looked both tired and annoyed. "Are you ever going to leave me alone today?"
"Of course not. Being an irritating little shit is what I do best." Hiro peered over the seated cat's shoulder. "You're working hard, I see. Trying to convince me not to fire you?"
Xaver's paws clenched into fists. "Just shut the fuck up and go away."
Hiro turned to Oscuro. "You see what I told you, Oscuro? This bitch will be hard to be get. You're going to have a lot of fun."
Oscuro studied Xaver and wasn't displeased with what he saw. "I bet he's got the tightest ass ever!"
Xaver realized that he was being discussed and his face colored just slightly. "I don't know what you guys are talking about, but take your conversation somewhere else. I'm trying to earn as much as I can before I'm cruelly thrown out into the streets."
"Abstinence must put him in a bad mood," Hiro said to Oscuro. "We'd better leave him alone and let him vent out his frustration in a non-sexual way." His words highly disturbed Xaver, and Hiro was well aware of it because of Xaver's stiff, tension-filled posture and the way he was staring unblinkingly down at his desk. He knew he should feel just a bit sorry for his employee, but he didn't. Not at all.
He walked away from Xaver and glared at Oscuro in an attempt to look serious. "This doesn't mean you can have fun for the rest of the day. Get your lazy ass back to work."
Oscuro just shrugged wordlessly and wandered away. Hiro wasn't sure if the deer would obey his orders, but at the moment he didn't care a whole lot. He knew that the days in the upcoming future were going to be interesting and he deserved to have some fun. Life wasn't particularly unpleasant, but he was bad-tempered and suffered occasional bouts of unhappiness for no good reason. He certainly needed a good laugh.
He decided he wouldn't break the news to Xaver just yet, as work was almost over. Telling Xaver tomorrow would be best, and then Hiro could watch him be miserable the entire day. Feeling happier than he had all day, Hiro walked back to his office.