That Was Not A Question
#3 of National Poetry Writing Month
Another poem written for National Poetry Month.
NO.
That was not a question, but I bet one came to mind for many of you. What was that about? What was that for? Where is this going?
For some of you I'm sure a question is the first thing that came to mind so let me ask you this...when did no become a question?
When did it cease to be a statement and instead become an excuse? When did it become the beginning of a conversation instead of the end?
When did we transform it into an opening for interrogation instead of accepting it as a way for a person to assert their right of refusal?
When did we stop listening to what our friends had to say?
When a person says no that should be the end not the beginning. Not an opening. Not an excuse to pressure them to come up with words until a reason that you view as acceptable spills forth from their lips.
There is a difference between asking and forcing and when you continually force someone to try and do something after they have already told you no then you have lost all rights to their politeness.
If you have ignored their reasons and pushed aside their feelings again and again and again in order to get them to do something they are not comfortable with then they do not have to be nice.
They do not have to be polite. They do not have to be kind. They do not have to soften their words for you after you have stabbed them with yours.
No is not a question. It is a statement. It is a declaration. It is a shout.
It is a scream from the person who can only manage to squeak out a reluctant, "maybe next time."
"No, I'm not interested" does not mean "I just want you to try harder."
"No I don't feel like going" does not mean "keep trying, it's not like I have anything better to do."
You do not get to question a person without their consent and then lash out when they snap back and refuse to give their answers to you.
They told you no. They told you to stop. They told you they weren't comfortable. They told you they were in pain. They told you they weren't interested. They told you they didn't want to.
Don't blame them because you weren't listening hard enough. Don't blame them for getting angry when you were the one who refused to accept their reasons. Don't put them down because of your failure to realize that other people have feelings and opinions too and sometimes they just aren't the same as yours.
Do not blame the world around you because of your inability to accept a refusal.
No is a statement not a question and you don't get to ask them for an answer if they are not willing to volunteer it.