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Chapter nineteen: A dream within a dream. What becomes of those who would awaken?

"This is terrible." Said Rosalyn, as she surveyed the damage. Shiro's room lay in shambles. The door to the Atelier had been broken in. And little if anything remained inside, intact or otherwise. What hadn't been broken had been carelessly strewn about.

The room itself no longer bore any sort of resemblance to its former stature. Its carefully ordered structure had been purposely destroyed, as if in an attempt to erase even the memory of its former occupant.

"Its gone." Said Koji.

"Shiro's journal?"

Koji shook his head. "The Arcanum Arcanorum."

Rosalyn had heard of it. Almost everyone at Veil had. It was a novelty, a matter of endless speculation and heated debate. Some claimed it was an all powerful grimoire, that it contained magic so dangerous that it had been forever sealed away. Others said that it was simply a curiosity, a relic of a bygone era. Since no one could prove either theory it had been left in the school's library. Where any enterprising student who wanted to win a bit of fame and glory could find it. "What was Shiro doing with something like that?"

"He was studying it."

"Studying it? There are dozens of studies in the library. People have been trying to solve that mystery for years. Everyone who's ever gotten it to open has said exactly the same thing. It's blank."

"Maybe studying it was the wrong choice of words." Koji flipped through a sheaf of blank papers. "It was more like he was trying to duplicate it." Recalling how Shiro had tapped the ground when he had first arrived, afraid that somehow it would disappear out from beneath him, He held up the sheaf of papers and said. "Codex activation key: fall into the sky."

Koji held them out to her. What were once blank pages were now covered with complex magical formulas. The few that she could recognize were maps of Avalon Island and its environmental patterns. Some were records of all the places the island had teleported to, how long it had stayed there and where its next jump had taken it.

"Shiro thought that the key to reading the Arcanum Arcanorum was hidden somewhere on Avalon Island. Since, like the book, they can both travel independently."

Rosalyn thumbed through a few more papers. They look almost like a map, but without the proper order to put them in . . . "The law of magical inertia." She said offhandedly. "Objects of magic stay in motion until acted upon by opposing magical forces. Its why shield spells never fade until they're broken."

Koji looked distinctly uncomfortable discussing the finer points of magical theory. "Yeah, something like that. Either way, Shiro figured that the reason no one could read the book was either because they didn't know the key to unlocking the words or because they lacked sufficient magical power to force the book to recognize them as its master."

Rosalyn eyed him suspiciously. "And he told you all of this?"

Koji began to look rather sheepish, even for a wolf.

"Actually . . ." He held up a small leather bound book. "I read it in his journal."

* * *

Shiro lay on the bed next to Nelo. His face was ashen and pale, his breathing faint and shallow. The blankets that covered him seemed more like a shroud than anything meant to keep him warm.

"How is he doing?" Asked Rosalyn. "Any better?"

Nelo smoothed back his hair. "He is . . . still alive. As much as one who has lost a significant portion of their life force can be." The body can go on, the heart can still beat, but without the very thing that makes us who we are; it is an empty existence.

She had been trying to analyze the spell Kurotama had cast. But to no avail.

Renia, Zeyd, Rosalyn. They had each tried everything they could think of to wake him. But the truth of the matter still managed to elude them. Drifting like so much smoke through their fingers, they knew it was there, but it was impossible to grasp.

It was a race against time. And Shiro's was running out.

"The magic Kurotama used is still unfamiliar to me. It almost acts like a poison. There are still traces of it in his body, and what little remains is slowly suffocating him." Even now he is hovering between the boundaries of life and death. The thread that holds his soul to this world is tenuous at best.

"We found what you were looking for." Rosalyn held out Shiro's journal. "Everything else was a mess. It looked as if someone had purposely destroyed the room in a fit of pique."

Nelo took the book from her with a silent word of thanks. "Shiro defied Kurotama even at the end. Someone like him wouldn't pass up a chance to desecrate an enemies remains."

Nelo had been hoping she might be able to find some kind of clue in Shiro's private writings. He had forever been writing down the things that he had seen, or read, no matter how esoteric the subject might be.

The thought comforted her. Shiro had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and he was a master at dissembling information. It was almost ironic. Where some collected books, antiques, or any number of other things, Shiro in turn, had been collecting secrets.

His works had revealed to her a keen mind and razor sharp intellect; disguised as it was by a carefully cultivated facade. Shiro had almost instinctively hid the parts of himself that would be most feared by others. Sometimes, even from himself.

On the rare opportunities she'd had to read his spellbooks she had discovered an understanding of magic that defied even her considerable knowledge. Shiro saw magic more as an art form than a science. An expression of ones innermost desires realized amidst reality.

Imagination is the true key to magic. He had written. _For with it, all possibilities lie within our grasp. Innovation is often misunderstood. Whereas following in the footsteps of others will only lead us were they have gone. When faced with an enemy whose knowledge is greater than our own, how can we possibly overcome them?

When all we have been armed with is rote repetition and memorization, we are sorely outmatched.

Instead, we must rely on that which they do not expect. We must counter them with that which they have never seen, in ways they have not imagined. Only then can we step beyond them. And discover our own path._

They would never have survived if it hadn't been for him. None of them was the equal in ability to Kurotama and he knew it. Only Shiro dared to stand against him. Only his unique way of thinking had had any chance of success.

"The final key is now within my grasp." Kurotama had raised his hand. Arcane energy gathering around him, the force of which was more than sufficient to level a mountain. It was a frightening power, alive with malice. "I have no use for you. Disappear, along with that pathetic excuse for a so-called brother."

Nelo had been fully prepared to die. When to her surprise, a shield unlike any she had seen before had absorbed the force of the blast.

Sensing that it was drawing power from him to grow stronger Kurotama had abruptly severed the flow of energy. "It seems that fool brother of mine seeks to linger on in this world a little while longer." The effort had weakened him. Though he had taken great care to conceal it, he was still not weak enough for even a combined effort to overcome him.

Kurotama had sneered at them in disgust. "Hmph. Such insignificant insects as you are of no consequence to me. Enjoy the little time that you have left. It matters nothing to me."

He had left them there. Was he so assured of his victory, or had there been something more? Had he been afraid to see if Shiro had left behind any other surprises? It didn't matter, where there was life there was hope. And Nelo wasn't going to let Shiro go without a fight.

"Nelo?" Rosalyn asked, the concern was evident in her voice.

"I'm all right. I'm still a little shaken that's all." She was tired, though she refused to admit it. Even to her self. And she had begun drifting into the past.

"Make sure to at least try and get some rest. You won't be of any help to anyone if you're exhausted."

Nelo nodded that she would do so and settled in to read Shiro's journal.

Rosalyn sighed, she supposed it was the best she could hope for. They were all pushing themselves to find an answer, and Nelo had more than sufficient reason to push herself harder than most. She left the room in search of her own bed. Perhaps she would find an answer within her dreams.

More than a little travel worn the journal's battle weary pages were covered with a neat self-contained script. The journal in essence, reflected the mind of its writer both in body as well as in form.

Nelo opened the journal to its most recent entry.

_Secrets and subterfuge, they are the silent destroyers, the enders of worlds and lives. Ambition rises and falls within people as opportunity and fortune changes hands.

There are secret keepers, silent masters of unseen worlds, spies who go about their daily lives while the people around them remain unaware of who they truly are._

Every breath they take is calculated, measured against the price of the next.

They play by their own rules, creating and discarding them to suit the needs of the moment. They are the deadliest of opponents, for they often have nothing left to lose. And everything to gain.

I came of age in just such a world. Surrounded by intrigues both malevolent and benign, my every move has been a carefully choreographed display.

Honesty however, was my unmaking. For I have no taste for vengeance, no desire to make my enemies suffer. Even now I lack the conviction to truly defeat them.

Now; this journal has the power to destroy me. For I have poured my true self upon its pages. With words I have unmasked my soul.

So why make such a record?

Perhaps to prove that I still exist. Perhaps to ensure that my sanity does not slip away, as the machinations of unseen hands silently closing in around my throat threaten to destroy me. Perhaps it was to retain some small vestige of the life I had wished to live.

Or perhaps the reason is simpler than all of that. Something nobler, something that isn't so base.

Perhaps I simply wished to leave behind proof that I had lived.

Nelo's hands began to tremble as the words on the page became blurred by tears.

I wish I had told Nelo more often how much I have come to love her. Tomorrow seems as good a day to start as any.

* * *

Shiro awoke with a start. Grabbing his chest he struggled to breathe. The dreams were becoming so real, so vivid, that he was starting to wonder were reality began and fantasy ended. "That's it." He said to his empty apartment. "No more all nighters." And promptly went back to sleep.

* * *

Koji leaned against a wall, his arms held across his chest. It had already been three days since Kurotama's attack, and He hated feeling powerless to help his friend. It was all he could do to keep from smashing his fist through the wall in rage. "You're more than just some random cat aren't you?"

Nelo stroked Shiro's hair affectionately. She hadn't let go of him once in that whole time. "My real name is, it was, Kyssandra Realo."

Koji frowned as he recognized the name. "But that would make you." He added up the generations. "Over nine-thousand years old."

"Nine-thousand-four-hundred and fifty-six if you want to be precise. Most of which I spent in the body of a cat."

Koji's jaw hung slightly askew as he tried to grasp the concept of living so long.

Nelo covered her mouth as she stifled a laugh. "Try not to be so shocked. Being a cat had its advantages. I may not have been able to use any of my magic. But a cat can go just about anywhere they want and no one even bats an eye.

"I've been a silent observer, watching over Avalon Island all these years. There is of course, no mention of me recorded in any of the official histories. I've been quite careful in keeping my existence a secret."

Koji regained some of his composure. "But you're human now, well . . . mostly."

"And I have Shiro to thank for that. It was because of him that I was able to restore some of my former self."

It almost seemed like another lifetime. So much had happened in the interim, that he had come to accept Nelo as just another part of Shiro's life. "The growth potion."

Nelo was shaking her head. "No. While it was a valiant attempt on his part it had nothing to do with my transformation. Though it certainly provided me with a convenient explanation if anyone asked. In truth, it was Shiro's own power that allowed me to change back."

Rosalyn looked up from the grimoire she had been studying. "The joining."

Nelo nodded that it was so. "That's it exactly."

Seeing Koji's confusion she said. "A familiar acts like a vessel for its masters energy." She marked her page and closed the dusty tome. "Holding a part of them in reserve for an emergency."

"I've lost nothing of the knowledge I gained over the years. But as a cat I couldn't access the magic I needed to utilize it. When Shiro accepted me as his familiar, I was able to begin using his magic to transform myself."

It was a slim hope but he grabbed hold of it. "If you have access to his magic than."

"She can't." Said Rosalyn. "The process works in reverse too. Right now, she's using her own life force just to keep Shiro alive. If she breaks the connection for even a moment. He'll die."

"But you're a chaos mage as well. Surely there's something you could do."

"I was a chaos mage." She held up a hand to forestall any questions. "The only reason I survived my awakening was because . . . my intense fear of death held me back.

"I had wanted to live so much. I thought of all the things and people I would be leaving behind. And in my fear and hesitation I reached out to the only living thing that was nearby. My familiar." It was her greatest kept secret. The truth she had locked away in her heart. "She took my place. Before I knew it had happened, we had already switched bodies.

"She smiled at me and told me to be happy. My body was destroyed. But I lived. And in the end, I had sacrificed someone I loved. Just for the chance to see another sunrise." Nelo choked back bitter tears. When her life had passed fully into Shiro she would finally die. But he would awaken. She would finally change fate.

The door to the room burst open. Leaving them all stunned. Zeyd tensed. Unable to cross the threshold he shouted. "Someone stop her. She intends to die!"

Koji was a blur of motion. He broke Nelo's contact with Shiro and held her fast.

She raged against him. "Let me go. Let me do this thing. It is a fair trade."

"Is it really?" He understood the pain in her heart. The desire to sacrifice oneself for another. But such sacrifices lasted only for a moment. And time went on. "Shiro . . . he would never forgive you. How could he live without the other half of his heart. Without the woman he loves?"

"It is the price fate demands! A life for a life. Nothing else can bring back those who have been lost."

"Maybe so." Said Renia from the open door. "But we aren't trying to bring back the dead. We're trying to restore his heart." She held up Shiro's medallion. "And that is something completely different."

* * *

Shiro sat beneath an awning in front of the Black Cat Cafe. He was silently working on his project. It was strange, no matter how hard he tried he could barely think of anything else.

His brother took the seat across from him. "How are those dreams of yours, still unbearable?" A waitress drifted by and he ordered for both of them.

"Hey Kuro." Shiro didn't bother to stop drawing. A werewolf was already taking shape before him. The name at the bottom of the paper said 'Koji'. "Yeah. And they're getting worse. Its so bad now that I can hardly sleep at night."

The waitress returned and Shiro had to blink as he swore he caught sight of a tail.

Kuro sipped his coffee. "Do you know how many artists would kill for dreams like yours? I mean come on, you've got it easy, you just go to sleep and bam! Ideas just hit you." Kuro flipped through some of his finished work. "This project you're working on though. Its incredible. What did you say you were going to call it?"

"I don't know yet. I guess I won't come up with a name until its finished." His hand began to tremble as he lost his grip on his pen. Not again. He tried to hold his hand still. "Not again."

"Shiro?" Kuro was suddenly shouting. "Someone call an ambulance."

* * *

"His medallion!" Nelo felt hope surge within her anew. "When he stopped wearing it. I was afraid he'd lost it. You mean you've had it all along?" She dropped the barrier that had prevented them from entering the room.

Renia held it out to her. "He entrusted it to me. He even invoked the covenant when he did so. Trust Tetsu to teach him about the sacred promise between dragons and humanity."

Rosalyn frowned in consternation. "What promise?"

Renia said offhandedly. "Oh just the greatest secret known to dragonkind and entrusted to the monks of Shin Kami Ryu."

Nelo, who had received Shiro's memories of the covenant knew it as well. "The progenitor of the entire dragon race. The Divine Dragon's true name."

Renia smiled a dragons smile. "That's it. The monks have sworn themselves to be its keepers until the end of time. In return, they're allowed to command dragons. Shiro could have asked for anything he wanted, instead he asked me to keep this safe. Now. I think it's time that it was returned to him. Don't you?"

Nelo placed the medallion reverently around his neck. It was a connection, a bond to who and what Shiro was, and as such it was invested with his power. "But is it enough to save him?"

"The magic Kurotama invoked is called Lesach Venah," Said Zeyd. "It is a corrupted form of necromancy. What's actually killing Shiro isn't the spell itself, but the contamination left over from the casting. Kurotama effectively forced the taint from the casting and its side-effects into Shiro. Both curse and cure all rolled into one. An efficient solution when one brokers in dark powers."

Nelo was forced to admit a grudging admiration for Kurotama's abilities. The more complex a spell was, the more things could go wrong. That he was a master of magic that could govern life and death made him a formidable opponent indeed.

"Then if we can revive Shiro enough, his own body will cast out the remnants of the spell and he'll awaken." She grabbed on to the slim hope, it was a chance. And that was enough for her.

"So we restore Shiro's heart and he wakes up right?" Koji slammed a fist into his palm. "Then it's simple. We kick Kurotama's ass and get Shiro's heart back."

"It isn't that simple." Said Rosalyn. "A heart is something more than what you can hold in your hand. A heart is. . . thoughts and feelings. Memories and emotions. What Kurotama stole was the very thing that made Shiro Shiro. By now, he'll have already absorbed it."

"I refuse to just let Shiro die! All the magic in the world. There must be something that I can do."

"Koji . . ." Shiro's whisper brought silence to the room.

"Your heart has begun to resonate with Shiro's." Said Renia. "All of you. Memories are not unique to one being alone. They belong to everyone who shares them. If you would call Shiro back from the void. Then your hearts must resonate with his. And trust. That words carried by the wind will always reach the intended."

* * *

When Shiro finally came around he found himself lying in a hospital bed. His brother Kuro was sitting in a chair next to him. "What happened?" He asked.

"You collapsed. The doctors said you had some kind of seizure. You scared the crap out of me."

Shiro gave a weak laugh. "Scared the crap out of me too." He flexed his hand. What's going on with me? Why does this all feel, fake? Am I . . . dead? Didn't . . . I die? Shiro closed his eyes. In the quiet of his mind he heard them.

The bonds we share. The connections we form with others. We give them away without ever knowing it. Entrusting to others those parts of ourselves we hold precious. The pieces of our heart.

He had always considered it to be the voice of his muse. Now, now he wasn't so sure.

Kuro was looking at him strangely. "Shiro. What is it?"

And just like that they were gone. "Nothing, its just. Sometimes I hear voices. Like my characters are speaking to me."

"Oh? What are they saying? Anything naughty?"

Shiro ignored Kuro's attempts to humor him. "Sometimes I think I must be going crazy."

"Relax Shiro you're not crazy. Hell, if we used hearing imaginary voices in our heads as any kind of measure. Half the population would have to be committed."

"But it feels real. Its like, where do the dreams end and I begin? I don't even know how to explain it." Everything feels too perfect, my life, my job. So why aren't I happy? I have everything I want right? Don't I? The voice that answered him was familiar.

When I first met Shiro. I sensed a kindred soul, one who was in danger of being destroyed the same way I was. He was such an earnest lover. That without my even knowing it, he was suddenly a part of my life I never knew was missing.

We aren't done yet! There's so much of life I still want to share with you. Come back to me Shiro.

"Nelo?"

The name made Kuro's face twist in anger. "Wake up Shiro! She's just a character in a story. She isn't real. I am. And I'm afraid of losing my only brother."

"Our parent's names." Shiro clutched his head with both hands. It was so hard to remember. His memories were fragmented, scattered across different worlds. He was divided, torn, he needed an anchor. "What were our parent's names?"

Kuro's jaw went slack. "I, I.. I can't believe you would ask me something like that!"

"You don't know do you?" Everything was beginning to unravel. His apartment, the cafe. They were just figments. It was his idea of paradise, twisted to fit Kurotama's ends. "You don't know because I don't." Shiro got out of the bed and opened the door. The hall beyond led not to another part of the hospital, but to another world.

It was a testament to the power of the illusion that it would seek to convince him even now.

"You would throw your life away? For what? For some fantasy?"

No, not convince me. Tempt me. Shiro stood before the open door. He had been given everything he had ever wanted. Here his desires had been fulfilled. Here he had a family, a brother.

It was an illusion of paradise. A measure of peace and contentment. A dream and nothing more.

But what would it cost him to stay? To embrace the dream?

Shiro thought of everything he would be leaving behind. And the price was simply to high. "Fantasy or reality, dreams are the mirror which reflect only truth. And I know this. You are no brother of mine."

As he stepped through the open door the dream that was paradise faded away. He would trade eden for earth. For without the people who gave his life meaning to share it with. What purpose was heaven to one who wandered it alone?

Shiro reached out a hand to gently wipe away Nelo's tears. "Nelo. You've been crying. Why?"

When Shiro had feigned weakness Renia had left him alone to consult with Kiara and Zeyd.

While they were preoccupied, he had gathered his friends.

"You shouldn't try to move yet." Said Koji. "You were asleep for three days."

"I don't have time to lay around and recover. Kurotama wants to recreate the world. And now he has the power to do it."

"Shiro?"

They were looking to him for answers. For guidance. _I don't want to be the leader, I can't handle that kind of responsibility.

If not you._

Said a voice. Then who?

"While Kurotama had hold of my heart. I saw his memories. I know where he is."

* * *

"He's been hiding on Avalon Island all along." Renia spread out Shiro's formulas on her desk. The conclusion was inescapable, undeniable, the map they formed pointed to only one place on all of Avalon Island.

"The dimensional nexus. The very heart of Avalon Island." Kiara gryphon grinned, feeling a sense of pride in her student even as she inwardly cursed herself for not seeing it sooner. "What fools we've been. Kurotama has been operating under our very eyes this whole time. While we chased after ghosts he sat like a spider at the center of his web. Pulling the strings and watching us dance."

"We are truly lamentable adults." Said Renia. "We have allowed our mistakes to become their's. Now they are paying the price for our failure."

Kiara slammed a fist into the desk. "But to just let them go like this!"

"Do you really think we could have stopped them?" Said Zeyd. "We do the best we can. We try to prepare our children for life and the hardships they will face. But in the end, all we can do is watch, as we silently wave goodbye."

"But they're still just children. This isn't even their fight!"

Zeyd laid a hand upon Kiara's shoulder. "Those children, have already surpassed us. This fight is their's now. The world and its future, belongs to them."

* * *

_The curtain rises, and the villain appears. Now, the heroes must take to the stage. What simple words. What terrifying potential.

Have our lives been defined thus? Are we merely actors upon a stage, playing out the roles that fate has deigned for us? Or are we something more.

When the curtain falls do we remove our masks? Our parts played out; do we bow and leave the stage? Or do we don new guises and take up new parts. Our roles not yet done we begin a second, perhaps final act.

The villain has appeared._

The curtain is rising.

And we go to take the stage.