A mans regret.

Story by Oros Triago on SoFurry

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#1 of Love and obsessions

Well then, I pulled a pretty big derp so please pretend that the journal by the same name(if you saw it) never existed. For those you not knowing what I'm talking about then...never mind. Go...go read the story.

Alright everyone! This story is a celebration that I hit my ten thousand page views. For everyone that had seen my first story, A small choice to make, this is the sequel to the story. More then likely this will be a two part story all about Eric and Kilia.

Eric awoke feeling happy, that is, until he looked over to his pet dragon laying next to him. Trying with all his might, Eric can't recall anything from the previous night and this only meant one thing to him. His sex addiction made him 'black out' and caused him to have sex with her. His feelings on the whole scene conflicted, Eric heads to work where he speaks to his close friend hector as well as the only person that may be able to help calm his mind.

Of course, feel free to vote and comment on the story if you enjoyed it.


Eric awoke feeling quite happy and relaxed, knowing full well it was what he liked to call his little 'sexual blackouts.' They were nothing really, sometimes when he didn't have any ...relief if you will, he would suddenly black out and would basically rape the closest woman that was willing to do it with him. Hell, Eric remembered this one time where he awoke next to a girl the size of a goddamn elephant!

Chuckling at the memory, Eric rolled over to see who the lucky girl was that got to sleep with him. Then stopped when his eyes met the bright green and blue scales of his pet and best friend Kilia.

You see, Kilia was a full grown green scaled dragon with blue strips that ran horizontally down her back from the base of her head to the tip of her tail. Said tail then gave a gentle squeeze around his ankle and Eric damn well knew enough about dragons to know it was a sign of strong affection.

_No,no,noNoNoNONONO! _Eric yelled in his head while on the outside he remained silent, carefully removing her tail from his foot while slowly getting out of the bed. After that, he promptly ran to the bathroom and puked.

"Damn it." He swore, flushing the toilet while he stood up. His whole body was trembling and shaking as he walked over to his medicine cabinet where he stared at his sweating face.

He tried to remember what happened the night before, but like all the other black outs, he couldn't recall a single thing. That was a downside to the addiction he had, for the thing was, he had a sex addiction.

"No, that is not right." Eric muttered, suddenly noticing something different this time. "I remember only one thing."

Eric smiled lovingly. "I love you and I always will Kilia."

"That's right, I said that to her last night." He sighed. "But how could I say that to her. She's my best friend let alone the simple fact that she's my pet dragon!"

At that moment, he heard a rather large yawn from the next room then the sound of claws on flooring. Moments after, Kilia came around the corner and gazed at him, giving him a warm smile only to have it fade when she saw him brushing his teeth profusely.

"Eric?" She asked, causing him to turn to look at her. "Are you alright? " he smiled despite having his mouth full of toothpaste and a brush.

"I'm fine Kilia." He replied, turning back to the mirror. Eric spat, rinsing his mouth out before he left. On his way out, he patted her on the head and she watched as he made his way to the kitchen.

Kilia gave a sigh when he was out of sight. "No Eric" she breathed sadly. "Whenever you pat me like that is when you have something on your mind."

In the kitchen, Kilia made her way to a small bowl on the floor that was filled with kibble. She quickly began to gobble it down while Eric sat down and ate his own breakfast. Afterwards, he went back to his room and threw his work clothes on. A simple white tee and black pants along with a black dress jacket.

"Going to work Eric?" Kilia asked when he went to the door. She was basking in the sun next to a window nearby, her green scales glistening in the morning light.

"Course, I work Monday to Friday like always Kilia. Why do you ask?" He replied, asking his own question. Kilia only smiled at him.

"Well... I was thinking that maybe... We could hang out like we did when we were kids." She answered slowly looking down at her feet. Eric only sighed.

"You know that I can't call in now. It's WAY too late for that." And with that, Eric opened the door to leave.

"Do you remember when we first met Eric." He stopped, caught quite off guard by the question, but he smiled none-the-less.

"Of course I do. I had found you in the park, it had recently rained and I found you trembling under a bush." He began, reminiscing. "I was five at the time and you were eight. Back then, I always wanted a dragon but my parents couldn't get one for me. The feeding wasn't the problem, it was actually getting it the tough part." He smiled as he continued.

"Then, I found you. At first, you were stubborn like most dragons and wouldn't look at me let alone talk to me. Yet I tried and tried to talk to you, to get you to smile." Eric suddenly frowned at the next part. "Then...one year after I met you... You were attacked." His fist clenched at the thought.

"You were attacked by drunks that thought it a good idea to hurt you because you were 'wild' even though you were so young." He gave out a sigh, his fists relaxing. "When I found you, you were badly hurt. I was so scared that you would die. But I managed to bring you to a nearby dragon clinic that dealt with various dragon problems and they helped you." He looks away sadly. "But the men did a number on you. When you awoke, you were always delirious and it was then that I learned you didn't know how to talk."

"All the while, I never left your side." He laughed sadly. "My parents often had to drag me away from you just so that I could get some sleep." He smiled yet again. " then, three weeks after the incident, you finally awoke. And it was then that you said-"

"Thank you Eric, for being my friend." She said, finishing what Eric said with a sad smile. "It was the first sentence I ever said." Eric nodded

The two sat there in silence, the old friends quite happy at the memories of their childhood. Moments passed until Eric looked at his watch and his eyes went wide with shock.

"Crap! I'm going to be late!" He yelled, about to leave once more. Kilia suddenly pounced on him, causing him to stop and stare at her.

"Hang on." Kilia said, giving a quick peck on his lips. Eric blinked, surprised and he blushed profusely. "I'll see you afterwards, Kay?"

Eric nodded but then remembered something important. "Uh, I'll be late tonight again." He said, refusing to meet the dragons gaze.

Kilia blinked. "WHAT?! Again? You're always working late on Thursdays Eric! Can't you come home on time today?" She pouted, going back down on all fours. Eric only shook his head sadly.

"Sorry, Kilia. I can't. These Thursday meetings are a real pain." He have her a peck on the cheek then left, locking the door behind her. He heard her give out another shout.

"You better cut the meeting short Eric!" She cried. "And be careful!"

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaah..." Eric groaned with his face on his desk. It was five minutes until 4:30, meaning that work was almost over for him. He jumped however, when a hand slammed his desk in front of his nose. Eric snapped up then relaxed when he only saw his friend Hector.

As always, Hector had a neatly trimmed black beard with neatly trimmed black hair and a neat black suit. This made him look strange to say the least while Eric had thrown his dress jacket off hours ago while his white shirt was untucked.

Hector grinned at Eric as he pushed his glasses in place. "Alright, spill it bub." Hector laughed, sitting down on Eric's desk. "The last time you looked like this was when you slept with that fatass lady."

Eric groaned, placing his face on the desk once more and his hands on his head as though it would hide him. "You're the last guy I want to tell. Hell, I don't even want my therapist to know about it."

Hector frowned. "That bad huh?" He muttered, placing his hand on his chin. Eric only whimpered a yes while nodding into the desk. Hector only slapped him on the back, causing Eric to yelp and sit up once more.

"Come on, tell me. You know that I always keep your secrets." He laughed. Eric only sigh and stood up where he looked over his cubicles walls. After a moment, he leaned over next to Hector's ear.

"I...did it...with Kilia." He whispered shamefully. Hector blinked, knowing full well who she was.

"Jesus Christ, I thought the fatty was bad enough." He mumbled. "But this takes the cake. My god, what are you going to do?"

"More then likely tell her the truth." Eric sighed, sitting in his chair. "I mean, my addiction is the only thing she doesn't know about. It's... Going to break her heart, but she needs to know that it was because I was...not myself to say the least."

Hector only shrugged as he stood up, placing a hand on his friends shoulder. "Look, I'm not gonna ask how it happened, but I suggest you tell your therapist. He'll know for sure what to do."

Then the man left, leaving him alone. Eric looked at the door of his cubicle for several moments before he looked back at his desk. He began to shut down the computer and noticed a picture he had placed next to it.

Picking it up, he studied it carefully. It was a image of him and his family, from when they were younger. It was three years after Kilia had been brought into their family. In fact, the two down near the middle were him and her, hugging each other while smiling at the camera.

He placed the picture back down, his eyes noticing the time. His weekly appointment with Doctor Vonhim was about to begin

An hour later and he was laying on a red couch-like chair, a wise looking man that appeared to be in his mid fifties sitting next to him with a clipboard in hand. Off to Eric's right was a large window that overlooked the large city that he lived in.

"So tell me Eric." The old man began, his wise brown eyes watching the young man carefully. "What is on your mind today? You seem quite stressed."

Eric sighed. "Surprised you know that I am Vonhim." He mumbled looking at the ceiling above him. The old man only laughed.

"This 'old man' has been your therapist for over four years Eric. I learn a thing or two about your emotions simply by watching your movements. Your quicker then usual, making your movements quite erratic and it's quite obvious you've been making mistakes lately." He suddenly furrowed his brow. "You've had another one of your 'black outs,' haven't you?" Eric did not respond

The old man placed the clipboard down. "Eric, you remember what I told you about these 'black outs' correct?" The young man only nodded.

"Yeah." He replied before taking a deep breathe. "You said that they were 'unique,' that you had never met a person that had such things. You also said that it had something to do with my love life and that I should tell you whenever they occurred."

The old man nodded. "Correct. I believe that you began with this addiction of yours because of something you yourself don't know about. I act only as the guide and I wish to know what happened on this recent black out, so that I can give you proper guidance."

Eric took a deep breath. "Promise you won't tell a soul, doc." Vonhim nodded, smiling warmly at his patient.

"Whatever is said in this room, will never be said again." Vonhims eyes gazed at Eric with a caring nature. "Inside or out."

Eric took a deep breath. He did not want to say anything, but he knew Vonhim would keep his promise. The young man had no where else to turn.

So he said it. What happened the day before, during and after the time he could not remember. And, as any therapist does, Vonhim listened intently to his patient. He was surprised, of course, by the idea of Eric having sex with a dragon but he started to piece something together. Eric never told Vonhim of this Kilia and was very curious about their relationship.

"Eric I want you to tell me about this Kilia of yours." Eric cocked an eyebrow, quite confused.

"Well what do you want me to tell you about?" He asked quizzically, looking up at the older man.

Vonhim leaned forward, holding his hands together in front of him as he looked at Eric. "Is she a pet, a friend or... Something more." Eric sat up suddenly, his eyes wide.

"M-More?!" He stuttered. "Of course not! She's my best friend!"

Vonhim now knew he was getting somewhere. "Eric... How did you and her meet?" Eric sighed yet again, leaning back down on the couch. Chair? He didn't know what it was really, but it was comfortable.

"I met her when I was five years old..." And so he told him everything, from the moment he found her in the park to the recent events from the night before. He told him the happiest moments,the saddest moments, and even the embarrassing moments. At first he was hesitant, but as he remembered all the events the two had shared, he began to tell Vonhim more and more until there was nothing left to say.

"...then... The break up. I'll be honest, I don't remember a thing except..." He trailed off suddenly causing the old therapist to become suspicious.

"Eric, what is it that your hiding now?" He asked, his old eyes watching Eric fidget under his gaze.

"I remember...telling her I love her." He finally said, breaking under the pressure. "And that I always will." Vonhim gazed at Eric for several moments, the silence that followed torturing the young man as he sat there.

"And do you think you will?" Eric blinked, caught off guard by the question.

"I uh...I-I..." He stammered, his mind trying to think clearly. But at that moment, all he could think about was Kilia's smiling face and golden eyes that seemed to simmer like flames. He made a very audible gulp noise.

"I don't know..." He whispered, his eyes suddenly watering. "I honestly don't know."

Vonhim stood up slowly and walked over to the large window, his arms held behind his back as he watched several hover cars as well as the more larger dragons with riders fly by. "And why is that Eric?"

"What do you mean? I just don't." Eric asked, slowly standing up as well. The therapist turned to smile at Eric.

"I think she might be the reason for your addiction." He stated before slowly turning to watch more people go by. "What I think, is that you try to fill in the gap that you created years ago so that you don't have to face the pain of what you truly feel."

Eric walked up next to the older man. "Wait a minute." He said, holding a hand as though trying to stop him. "Are you saying I'm addicted to sex...because of Kilia?"

Vonhim turned to look at the younger man once more. "Precisely." He suddenly wrapped an arm around Eric's shoulder. "I believe that, years ago, you created a gap between you and her because you knew that falling for her would bring nothing but pain." Vonhim watched as two dragons seemed to stop in front of the window, their riders talking while the dragons themselves did the same.

"But... I don't remember doing this." Eric stated, his eyes watching the group separate. Vonhim turned to face Eric completely.

"You did it subconsciously Eric, before your puberty was over I believe." Vonhim walked back to his chair and picked the clipboard up once more. He flipped through it several times as though he was studying something. "The fact is, you've been having sex so much because you were afraid of doing it with the one you truly love, the one who has been by your side for years."

Eric took the hint, his mind filling with a horrible realization. The man fell to his knees, his eyes staring blankly at the flooring beneath him. "Kilia." He muttered, barely a whisper. "Your saying I've been in love with Kilia since I...hit puberty?"

Vonhim shook is head. "Oh no, no." He said, looking up from his board. "I believe you loved her far longer then that. You yourself have been questioning why it is that man had domesticated dragons correct?"

Eric slowly nodded. "Yes, but how did you know?" He asked, his eyes still staring at the hard ground.

Vonhim acted like he didn't hear and only continued. "There is a story you know, about how that came to be." He leaned back and looks up at the ceiling. "I won't go into the details but my people believe that dragons only allowed themselves to be 'domesticated' because one of their own fell in love with a human."

The young man shook his head as he stood up, his eyes filled with tears. "It doesn't matter. You damn well know that it's socially unexceptable to do what I did to a dragon. And besides..." He looked down at his feet. "...she's my best friend. I don't love her in that way." Tears were now streaming down his face, but it was like he didn't notice them.

Vonhim watched as the young man cried silently before him. A moment later, the old man stood up and embraced Eric in a warm, comforting hug. "Then why are you crying Eric?"

They sat there for several moments, Eric crying softly into the therapists shoulder before they finally separated. But even then, Vonhim held Eric at arms length.

"That is all for today, but I need you to do something before you go home." Vonhim lifted his chin up so that Eric could look at him in the eyes. "I want you to go to the park where you first met Kilia and think about what she means to you."

Some time later and he was standing in front of a gate to a park. Looking up, Eric spotted a metal plated sign that said 'Dominicas Park.' With a sigh, he looked down towards the path that lead deeper into the forest that was nestled inside the fence.

"So he wants me to take a trip down memory lane huh?" He muttered under his breath. He began to wall forward, his pace determined. "I guess I have no choice. He says it will help me with my problem and he hasn't been wrong about anything so far."

The wind brushed his hair as Eric walked deeper in. Soon after, the young man disappeared, the trees being blown by a gentle breeze behind him. Deeper and deeper into the park he went until he came across a clearing where a rather large oak tree stood. But he did not walk to the tree and instead went to a rather large flower bush nearby. It was in full bloom, the purple flowers on it giving off a wonderful aroma to the world and he bent down to get a better look.

"This is it." He whispered, his mind reeling with memories. "This is where I found Kilia, all those years ago." Then smiled sadly. "Time to go down the memory lane." Then he closed his eyes, his mouth barely a smile.

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