FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

After practice Trevor and I walked home together as usual, and although I wanted to babble on like an excitable school-girl about what had happened with Red, I didn't bother my macho friend with an obvious overdose of gayness. Trevor was a great buddy, selfless and trustworthy to a fault, but there were just certain things he didn't wish to hear about. Gushing over another male's body and squealing with delight at how I wanted to cover him in honey and lick every ounce of it off were just a few of those things. I let my thoughts run rampant in the solitude of my own head, and I know dear Trevor appreciated it. He could tell how excited I was about Red by the way I clutched his number in my paw as if it were the key to unending happiness, and he was excited for me too I suppose, but I'd save him unneeded embarrassment by holding the giddiness for when I was with a pal of the titty-bearing variety.

I called my friend Tory immediately after crossing the threshold of my house, but all I heard from the receiving end was her bubbly voice-mail message telling me to "Like, leave a message and I'll be super-duper sure to get back at'cha! Peace and love and...ooohhhhh, sparkly!" I didn't bother to leave a message, though. I loved Tory to death, but the overwhelmingly amiable little rabbit was about as astute as a lump of cherry taffy, and she never ever got back at'cha. She probably wouldn't even realize that I'd called until I showed up at school and told her flat-out, "Tory, I called you but you didn't answer." Then she'd probably think I was angry and cry. Lord have mercy on that lovably dense, dense girl.

So, by dinner time thoughts had been stewing in my head and gathering steam, and the pressures of excitement were beginning to wear me down. My folks could tell something was up; they could read me like a book.

"Sasha, sweetie, are you alright?"

I looked up from the meatloaf and peas I'd been mixing into a greasy, baby-crap green swamp of disgusting to realize that every member of my family was staring at me. My sister eyed me curiously as she took a sip of water, and I figured she'd pay me a visit in my room after dinner to see what was up, knowing I wouldn't say anything. I only did if it was necessary.

My mother's brows were sloped down in concern as her grey eyes bunched up, and she slowly brushed a strand of her brown, silver-streaked locks behind her rounded ear. Worry was evident on the staunch mug of my father as well. At one time he was as carefree as a hippie high on flower-power, but now his flesh and coat were cut by lines of stress, and, instead of his fur-color changing with the seasons like the rest of ours did it remained white year round. You wouldn't know now, though, seeing as the weather was beginning to grow cold and all of us were puffy and white with the beginnings of our winter coat, but during the summer he tended to get stares.

I was alright, though, which I let them know with a snappy fit of nodding. I was just aching to talk to someone and elate them with my happiness about meeting Red. I knew that wasn't the best of ideas to do with my folks, though, as they would immediately jump to pessimistic assumptions. I knew that they'd knock Red into the dirt immediately upon hearing about him, but since I didn't know much about the husky either I wasn't going to enlighten them to my situation just yet. It wasn't even a situation, truth-be-told. I wanted to get to know him first. That was all that mattered anyway, right? I wish that were true, but mom and dad's opinions outweighed my own no matter what.

My parents were insanely overprotective of me, my condition raising their concerns to hypersensitive levels. They assumed that I was harassed all of the time for being a guy who can do an astounding imitation of a chick, but that wasn't true. Most of the time furs in class, or wherever I happened to be, would do a double-take if they didn't know me personally. They're always so taken aback when I tell them I'm a guy. "Oh my goodness," they'll say. "I just thought you were flat chested!" It is comments like that that get me into trouble. I have a bit of a temper, and I've gained a reputation at school for both verbally and physically beating sense into those who find my appearance entertaining to poke fun at. Now that I'm a senior, though, I haven't had to deal with any crap since freshman year. It doesn't stop others from talking behind my back, but they know damn-well not to say anything within earshot of me. No matter what, though, my folks hold me in their minds as a delicate flower whose petals can be bruised by the softest of breezes. It's annoying, and it's exhausting on both our parts. They ran themselves ragged to make sure I'm happy and content, and I endure the onslaught of their love and the singularity it entails. Dating, to them, was never a good idea in my case. It would only lead to hurt in their eyes.

After dinner, and after eluding my parent's pressing questions as to why I'd sullenly pureed my food into a smoothie on my plate, I escaped to my room and changed for bed. I yanked on a grey Hurley t-shirt and some black sweat-pants, and then sat bouncing nervously on my bed while staring at Red's number that I'd plugged giddily into my phone's contact list.

"To call, or not to call; that is the question," I groaned.

I latched onto my tail and stroked it absent-mindedly. My fingers got tangled in a knot of thick white fur, and my vanity pulled me back into the real world as I scowled and grabbed my brush from the bedside table. I ran the bristles gently through my coat as I thought.

"If I call so soon I'll sound desperate." I puffed a bitter laugh. "Well, I am, I guess. He didn't seem like he'd think that, though." I shrugged, my ears twitching at the soft, raking churn of the brush through my fur. "Besides, I want to talk to him. That's all it is anyway: simple conversation." I stopped mid-brush and peered at the clock flashing 10:45 pm. "Still, though, it's so soon; and late now, too." I glanced at my phone nestled in my lap and ran the brush to the tip of my tail. Then I lay the brush aside and grabbed the cell, my thumb hovering over the call button. "Hell, what have I got to lose." The thought of pissing Red off somehow and the jocks tormenting the track team relentlessly afterward made me think twice. Well, that and he might not talk to me again. "Bah," I spat. "He wouldn't jump ship so quickly. He was too nice. He won't mind if I call now...hopefully." My phone beeped cheerfully as I hit "call", and I held the little thing up to my ear as it began to ring. Butterflies started to migrate around in my stomach as the dial tone spilled forth, and my nervousness nearly made me hang up, but I didn't get the chance.

The line clicked, and my skin iced over. "Hello?"

I just sat there stunned. My mind was scoured of any intelligent thought, and I was suddenly enlightened as to what it was like to be a vegetable.

"Helloooooo?" Red sang.

Desperation forced my hand, or my stomach I should say. I heard Red stutter as a nervous burp gurgled up my throat and burst out of my mouth like a gaseous gunshot. I moaned in disgust of myself.

"Uh," Red sniggered. "Excuse you, Sasha."

I suddenly became a sentient being again. "How...how'd you know it was me?"

His laughter caused the line to buzz. "I recognized the embarrassed groaning. You did it a lot earlier today if I recall."

I blushed. "Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm not usually so whiny."

"You did that a lot, too, haha."

"What? Whine? Sorry..."

His voice became an alluring, chest tingling rumble. "No; Apologize. It was cute. Still is."

I blushed. Silence ensued for what seemed like days. Empires could have fallen by the time the blood left my cheeks.

Most of the time I consider myself to be a fairly extroverted individual. I don't mind talking with complete strangers, and I can wade into a crowd of furs without succumbing to social-claustrophobia, but, dammit, if I couldn't find anything to say to this guy. I was so frustrated, scouring my brain for a tidbit of a conversation starter and coming up with nothing. I had never felt this way before. It was refreshing in a way, but it wasn't ideal if I wanted to get to know Red better. You have to be able to talk to one another after all. I didn't want to be that spaced-out admirer who only listens with a listless gaze, bobbing their head stupidly as someone else drivels on. No sir.

So, instead of thinking so hard, I didn't think at all as I said the first thing that came to mind. "Would you go out with me?"

Abash subtlety and screw trivial, romancing formalities; my subconscious was jumping the gun and getting down to business. I shuddered at my own stupidity. I'm sure the smack I gave my forehead could be heard around the world.

The question took even his cool, suave demeanor by surprise. "What? For real?"

I collapsed onto my bed and floundered around like a fish slowly drowning in air. My pillows tumbled onto the floor as I seized, and I held back my scream of frustration as I didn't have something cottony and fluffed to clutch and bellow into.

Going out with that boy was something I really, really, really wanted to do, but I'd overstepped an aboundingly wide gap by being a complete moron. There was only one way to salvage what little remained of my esteem: play it off.

I clawed at my sheets as I forced myself to laugh coyly and as nonchalant as possible. Thank God he bought it.

"Wow," he said with an outward breath that struck the telephone like a hurricane gust. "I thought you were serious for a minute. You sounded intent."

"Yeaaaah," I chuckled dryly; stupid, stupid, stupid.

His voice receded as he spoke, as though he pulled the phone away to switch hands. "So, what's up? Calling to take me up on that compromise?"

Something popped from his side of the line. The sound was familiar, but I couldn't recall what it was. I smiled at how straight-forward he wanted to be; I sure as hell wasn't going to attempt that again. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"Oh, now," he whimpered. "You didn't sound very content with that 'I guess I am.'"

There was the same pop, but this time it was followed by a staticky cascade of dripping, like listening to rain dribble onto a live microphone. "Am I bothering you? You sound busy. I can call back some other time."

"No, no, no" he clucked. "You're fine."

"Than what's that noise?"

Same pop - well, more of a plop this time, followed by a faint, aquatic rippling. "Uh," he stammered. He sounded unsure of whether or not he wanted to tell me, but with a grunt he spilled the beans. "I'm taking a bath, haha."

What? What, what, what? I don't know why I became so abashed at this news; I couldn't see him. Still, though, there was an unmerited intimacy at knowing that right then, right at that very moment, Red was naked and washing in the tub. And I was talking to him. He was unclothed, and we were having a conversation.

Boner; I got an unsolicited, full-on raging boner.

I had to literally beat the side of my head to think straight. Images of a naked, sopping wet husky filled my mind, and only a complete sense of pervertedness made me shift back into my conversation. I swear I could feel a molest-stache breaking the surface of my upper lip as we continued to talk. I had to readjust my sweat-pants as the tent I'd pitched quickly became too constricted.

I coughed to give some semblance of innocence. "You really didn't have to tell me that."

"Eh," he huffed contently. "Just being honest."

I rolled onto my side and grabbed a pillow from the floor. "You didn't even have to answer, for that matter. I wouldn't have; baths are too private for me."

Water splashed as he laughed. "You've never taken a bath with someone?"

"When I was five," I snapped.

"Well now I know how you can fulfill that compromise," he snorted.

"What!?"

"Just kidding, Sash. Don't get your fur in a tizzy."

I petted the fur on my tail back down. I could have dusted the exterior of a Hummer with it after that remark. As I imagined him grinning coyly in his bath, though, I reckoned that I wouldn't have minded breaking my ritual of privacy to scrub his back.

"So, what do you like to do? Since I'm new here it'd be nice to have someone who knows their way around. I still lose track of where I am on my way home from school."

"Hold on," I said. "When you gave me your number today? What...what exactly were you intent on accomplishing?"

The line was silent for a while, and not even the sound of disturbed water leaked through the phone. I suppose he was thinking about what I'd asked. We didn't know one another. I'd just met him that day, and right away he'd given me his number. I didn't know if he was some kind of playa' who gave his digits out to any cutie who caught his eye, but I'd be able to tell by what he came up with to say. He'd seemed genuine, but I wanted to be sure.

"Honestly," he finally said. His bath water sloshed around as if he was shifting awkwardly. "I...I just - and this will sound incredibly corny - but I just liked you; right off the bat."

Good grief. Jocks and their sports puns. I still giggled, though.

He continued as I wrapped my arms around the pillow I'd plucked from the floor. "I mean, you made a memorable first impression, that's for sure." I cringed at that. I almost spurted another apology, but he kept on. "And I don't know what else to say. I just...wanted to get to know you better. I was scared to give you my number like that. It's hard to tell who's gay and who isn't nowadays."

No kidding. If he hadn't given me his number before I wouldn't have ever guessed he liked guys. He was just a little too...athletic and handsome...and he seemed to be a man's man. I felt ridiculously lucky that he wanted to literally be a man's man.

"I didn't want to make a misguided assumption just based on your appearance," he sighed. "But I went with it. You didn't react badly so I just hoped - prayed - that you liked guys...err...liked me."

Even though I couldn't see him I knew he was flustered. My smile nearly wrapped around to the back of my head. "Well, I just met you today, but I..." I shut my eyes and stroked them through my closed lids. "I do like you. I mean, who wouldn't?"

He huffed sharply as though he believed no one could like him.

"It's true! You know it, too. Don't act like you're not hot shit."

A churning gurgle from his line made my ears drum, like that of water being sucked down a drain, and I had to shake my head to get them to stop. I guess bath time was over. "I think we're getting off track here."

"Sorry, sorry; back to square one," I said. I pushed myself up so I was sitting and ran my fingers through my hair. I cringed as a claw got tangled in an auburn strand, and I plucked the gnarled remains off and tossed them aside where they fluttered down onto my carpet. "Hi, I'm Aiden Sasha Clemmons. Today I kicked you in the balls, and I would really like to make it up to you." The butterflies began to flutter around in my belly again, and I hugged myself tight with one arm to squish the little bastards and keep them from getting worked up. "I'd like to get to know you better, too. See...what happens?"

"Hold on a sec," Red shot.

"Okay," I mumbled meekly to no one as he set the phone down before I'd finished.

I stared at my bookshelf across the room as I waited for him to do whatever he was doing. I made out a lot of shuffling from his line as I realized some of my hard-backs were not in alphabetical order, and, as I skimmed over my Abhorsen trilogy and noticed one was missing, a melodious serenade made my skin tingle pleasantly.

Red was singing. Red was singing really well. The song was "Meet You There" by Augustana, and if I hadn't known better I would have thought it was coming from a radio he had. There wasn't any background music, though, only the droll whirring of a bathroom fan to accompany him, the occasional grunt and pop of a towel. He trilled like a songbird, the notes near crystalline in their tone. On the low octaves his voice was as soft and alluring as the beckoning of a lover, but on the high they were emotionally raw and tear-jerkingly powerful. I sat there in awe and utter disbelief, my jaw lolling unhinged and tongue near curling out. If I'd had a vagina it would have been a little soggy down there.

I jumped as he suddenly picked his phone back up, still humming the tune of the song. "Sorry, had to dry."

Once again I didn't think before I spoke. I was too far gone in the squealing fan-girl mindset to do so. "Ooooohmygawd I think I love you."

"Wh...what?" he stammered.

"You're voice is amazing!"

"Oh," he said, laughing timidly. "Thanks. I always sing in the bathtub. I didn't even think about it."

"You are so much fucking hotter now, and that's saying something. I don't even."

He laughed then diverted the subject away from his seductive voice-box. "So, uh - oh yeah; square one." He dramatically cleared his throat. "Hi, I'm Rudy Carlin Kendrick, and, although you bruised my giblets, I'd like to get to know you better, too." He sighed pitifully. "I haven't really had a lot of dating experience - I won't get into why that is now - but, I don't know, maybe we can start as friends and, like you said, see what happens?"

I didn't find anything wrong with any of that. "Sure."

"Awesome."

I fell onto my stomach and twiddled my toes together. My pads scratched my foot and made a spot break out into an itch. I scratched it absentmindedly as I thought of how Red and I could spend our first friendly-outing/date together. A thought occurred to me. "Do you like to swim?"

He giggled. "You bet I do. My god-father's an otter. He taught me how in the first place."

"Great!" I chirped. "How would you like to come with my family and me to Lake Greenwood this Saturday? I mean, if that's okay and you're not busy."

"I'd love to!"

Oh, well that was more than I had hoped for; still though. "My parents going won't bother you will it? How do you feel about older sisters?"

I had to pull the phone away from my ear as he barked a laugh. "Why would that bother me?"

I shrugged. Then I realized he couldn't see me shrugging. "I don't know."

"It's fine, and sisters are okay in my book."

"Well keep your book open. You haven't met mine yet."

"But I'm going to?"

My chest swelled as I grinned. "I guess so."

He seemed genuinely excited. "I can't wait. I'll talk to my folks and let them know. Find me at school, okay?"

"I'll keep my eyes open."

"Haha, please do. See you tomorrow, Sasha."

"Night, Red."

As we hung up I prayed that what I'd done would turn out alright. Since my parents are always so judgmental of guys I'm interested in, I thought that by bringing Red along on our trip as just a friend would allow them to ease up a bit and take the time to see him for who he was. I knew now that he was a good guy. Maybe my folks would see that too, and if the time came that we took our relationship a little further than maybe they'd finally be content to admit that someone was good enough. Hopefully, as I got to know Red better myself too, he would be good enough. Hopefully I'd be good enough for him.