Belonging Chapter 36
Chapter 36
Seq
Day 40
My eyes were barely able to stay open that morning as I leaned against the outside of my hut.
Arguing with Meelo really pissed me off and I kept waking up throughout the night. Dreams plagued me of him and I fighting over the stupidest things, none of which made even the slightest sense. One was about me yelling at him for sprouting wings and blowing out the fire with them, while another was about him and Callix dating each other. Sure, Callix didn't seem to be Meelo's type, what with the coyote being straight and all, but I couldn't help but fear that, on some level, I was afraid that Meelo would leave me. Would he? Not with Callix, of course, but would he find somebody else? I wasn't able to come up with an answer so far that morning. At least the dream with him blowing out the fire with wings didn't mean anything. Right? I began to think that maybe the vole I ate the night before had been bad.
_ _ During the many times that I had awoken in the night, I had considered going over to Meelo's hut and apologizing, maybe even having some makeup sex. I never did, though. There had been a couple of times when I got out of my bed and walked over to the door, but every time I reached out to open it, I stopped myself. If I didn't stand by what I had said, Meelo would have started asking how I was feeling again. I didn't need to deal with that. Meelo wasn't happy that I didn't feel like talking? Oh well. He would just have to accept it. If I didn't want to talk, why should I have to?
Yet, I couldn't help but wonder if there was some truth to Meelo's words. Was I not responsible for Callix and Isabel getting captured? If I did stay behind instead of running, would I have been taken, too? I would probably never know.
"Hey, Seq!"
My head snapped to my right and saw Fare walking up to me. Her ears seemed especially perky to me that morning for some reason. "Hey, Fare,"
Fare stood next to me with a smile on her face and proceeded to make small talk. "You tired?"
"Oh," I rubbed my eyes. "I kept waking up last night,"
"That sucks ass,"
Oh, good old Fare. Never afraid to speak her mind. "Yeah,"
"Well," she chirped louder than a bird at sunrise, "I hope you can get some rest soon,"
As she turned and started to walk away, I noticed something off about her step. Her body seemed more frigid and couldn't move very smoothly.
I called out to her. "Hey, how come you're walking funny?"
Fare stopped in her tracks and her tail became stiffer than a log. She turned around and gave the worst fake laugh ever. "Oh, I uh... I slept funny last night. I'm sure it'll be fine before sunhigh,"
It took every muscle in my body not to laugh. I did smile, though. "You had sex, didn't you?"
The fennec flinched as though I had smacked her in the muzzle. "What? No! I just slept funny!" I folded my arms and stepped towards Fare. "Please. I know a night of rough butt sex when I see it,"
Fare's large ears twitched. "How?"
My eyes rolled. "Do I need to remind you that I used to date your brother?"
Her nose wrinkled and her eyes narrowed at the thought. "No. Forget I asked,"
"So, who's the lucky fella?" I teased her, not even trying to hide my enjoyment.
Fare's face was drenched with guilt as she looked around to see if anybody else was awake yet. After she realized that we were the only ones awake, Fare moved closer to me and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Teo and I where talking and...one thing led to another,"
My hands found their way onto my hips. "Don't tell me you were his one-night hump and dump,"
She shook her head. "No, it wasn't like that. We were talking and I asked him if he wanted to get back together. He said yeah and then...yeah,"
I chuckled. She obviously wasn't use to having much fun with boys. Lucky for her, I was experienced. Of course, I wasn't going to help her until I messed with her a little more. It was not often I got the chance to get under Fare's fur. "He said 'yeah' to a girl willing to sleep with him? Just 'yeah'? No 'I'm so glad you asked' or 'I've missed you'?"
Fare crossed her arms and glared up at me. She may have been a little shorter than me, even with those giant ears of hers, but she still could be intimidating. "It was the short version of what he said," the fennec replied, coldly.
Once I got started, though, it was hard to stop myself. "Still, 'yeah'? Yeah, I'll sleep with you. Yeah, I'll be your mate. Yeah, I'll be the father of your children. He's not exactly the romantic type, is he?"
A lighthearted punch landed on my shoulder and Fare laughed at my teasing. "I thought for sure you'd be happy I was finally seeing somebody,"
I grabbed my shoulder and held it as if her weak punch had broken a bone. "As your friend, it's my job to judge whoever you let in between your legs,"
The fennec rolled her eyes and snorted at me. "Have I ever dated a guy that was bad?"
"No, but Teo's the only guy you've ever dated,"
Fare's eyes latched onto me and seemed to lose a touch of their playfulness. "And what do you think of him?"
She was still messing around, but I could sense a twinge of seriousness not only in her eyes, but in her voice as well. So, I answered honestly. "He's a decent guy. Kinda quiet, though,"
With a laugh and an extended finger pointed towards me, Fare grinned. "See? You can't say anything bad about him!"
My tail flicked and I sensed that the serious part of our conversation had passed, so I continued to play my little game. "True, but I'm not the one sleeping with him, so I miss all that deep after-sex talk. For all I know, he likes being peed on,"
After cringing for a moment at the idea, Fare shook her head. "He does not like being pissed on...as far as I know,"
"If anybody would know, it'd be you...considering where he sticks his muzzle,"
She laughed at that and I joined her. While the idea of Teo being covered in piss was pretty funny and disturbing at the same time to imagine, I wondered how long it had been since I had laughed that hard. I don't mean a small chuckle or one of those laughs that last for a couple of moments. I'm talking about one of those laughs that lasts so long that you can't breathe and feel like you are going to die. Your sides hurt and your mouth strains from how big your goofy smile is. That's the laugh I'm talking about. Was Meelo was right? I had been gloomy those past few days and hardly anything else. Maybe all I needed was to have a good laugh.
Fare interrupted my inner question before I could answer it. "Speaking of relationships, how are things with Meelo?"
My laughter immediately ceased and I felt my face grow unusually warm. "Oh, well, we kind of had a fight last night,"
The fennec's large ears fell back and her eyes widened. "Oh. I'm sorry,"
I shook my head to let her know that she hadn't done anything wrong. "It's all right. Meelo just took me on a walk and was being annoying, so we ended up sleeping in our own huts,"
Just as the words passed over my lips, Fare's shoulders sagged and her ears fell back even more.
"Wow, you're sadder than I'd thought you'd be," I told her, since it was obvious that I had seen her reaction.
With a sigh, Fare hung her head down a little, but kept her eyes on me. "I told Meelo to take you on a walk last night,"
Every hair on my body stiffened. She did what? "When?"
Fare shifted in her place. "Yesterday, while we went looking for Kreq scents. When we were coming back to camp, we just started talking. He mentioned how you were feeling guilty about Isabel and Callix. I gave him some advice and then, when I brought up Teo, he gave me some advice, too,"
I was silent.
"Seq," Fare continued, "I know it's not any of my business what you two were going through, but, honestly, Meelo knows more about relationships than you think he does. I did what Meelo told me and it worked out great! And, if you ask me, Callix and Isabel weren't your fault. There wasn't anything you could do! You shouldn't feel guilty and you shouldn't take it out on Meelo, either. All he wants to do is make sure you're happy and, let's face it, is more caring than my brother ever was. Don't throw him away. There are very few people that actually care like he does. If you do give him up, chances are you're never gonna find someone else that treats you the way he does,"
Wordlessly, I stood there for a little while, staring at Fare and reviewing what she had just told me. I then turned and walked away. "Thanks,"
"Wait! Where are you going?" Fare called out after me.
I didn't even turn my head as I responded, "I'm going to talk to Meelo,"
Behind me, I heard Fare curse herself underneath her breath.
Why did I say all that stuff to Meelo? He was only trying to help, which was exactly what he should have done, and I just shut him out. I let my feelings cloud the sentiment behind Meelo's questions. He reached out to comfort me and I bit his head off. How could I have been such an asshole? No. I shook off that thought and repressed the self-resentment that followed. What I said the other night was not nearly as important as the fact that I had a loving boyfriend who was willing to go out of his way to make me happy. As I thought back to Meelo's kind gesture, I realized that the feeling was mutual. I would always be there for Meelo if he needed me and would whisper soothing words into his ear. Never again would either of us shut the other one out, nor would we let a fight get the better of us. We would push through our differences and we would make it.
I burst through Meelo's door and a ray of light came over my shoulders, causing my shadow to fall over Meelo, who was still in bed.
He jolted and sat up inside his bed. "Seq, what are you doing?"
I closed the door behind me and became surrounded by blackness. Then, after standing there in the dark for a brief moment of silence, I tried my best to tell him that I was sorry. "Last night I was... a complete dick. You were just trying to be nice and I snapped at you. All you wanted to do was talk to me, which was completely fine. It's like you said, relationships can't last if nobody ever talks,"
The darkness slowly became clearer to see through as I spoke and I could now see an outline of Meelo, who still sat in his bed and wasn't wearing a tunic.
I walked toward Meelo and kneeled down next to him in the dimness of his hut. Carefully, I put my hand on his shoulder. His face was visible now, along with his eyes. Good. I needed to look him in the eye for what I was about to say. "I'm sorry for being a horrible boyfriend. You deserve someone better than me and I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to dump me,"
Much to my surprise, I wasn't crying or even shaking for that matter. I meant every word. I loved Meelo and wanted nothing more than to see him happy, even if that meant him finding someone else. If he were happy, I would be, too.
"Seq," Meelo groaned, as he shifted were he sat. "I don't want to be with anybody but you,"
My tail wagged and my voice became higher than I thought possible. "Does that mean-?"
"I forgive you,"
It felt as though half of my weight melted off of me as I happily threw myself on top of the snow leopard. He fell back and I nuzzled his neck while my ears brushed against the base of his head. "I love you, Meelo," I squeaked, while I buried my face into his sweet scented fur.
Meelo's chest quivered as he chuckled. "I love you, too,"
I drew up my head and stared down at him, giving a naughty fox grin.
His eyes narrowed. "What are you planning?"
"Oh," I shrugged and spoke in a nonchalant voice, as I ran my finger down his bare chest. "I was just thinking about how you're here and I'm here...alone,"
He rolled his eyes and tried sitting up, "I have a patrol with Vern this morning,"
With all of my strength, I placed both of my hands on his bare shoulders and pushed him back down onto his bed. "Now don't be silly. This won't take very long. Bitching isn't the only thing that my mouth is good at,"
Slowly, I slid down and began to take off Meelo's trousers with my teeth. He didn't complain.