Belonging Chapter 19
Chapter 19
Meelo
Day 13
"What a dick," I said, flicking my ears as I turned my head back to face Grix.
"No, he's not," Grix said, as he continued to cook his meal.
I stretched out my legs and grunted as my muscles began to loosen. "Oh, please. He was being a complete tool. You're not even a little pissed?"
"I didn't say I wasn't pissed. I just said he isn't a dick," Grix pointed out.
I crossed my legs. "How come?"
"Everyone has their own opinion. Especially here," Grix motioned a hand in circle above him at the camp around us. "You can't judge them for it. Now matter how short-sided or absurd they may be, you can't hold grudges against anybody here. They're scared. Their lives, mates, children, parents and homes are all in danger. I mean, how does the idea of everything you love vanishing one day make you feel?"
I paused and rubbed my hands together. How would I feel? I wouldn't have a home, my friends would be gone and Seq... Seq. I wouldn't be able to wake up with him asleep in my arms anymore. He wouldn't ever be able to kiss me again. I wouldn't even get to hear his laugh.
"It feels like...like I'm sick," I said.
"Exactly. The thought of losing everything in a single moment terrifies even the bravest of us. Who wouldn't be scared? Knowing that one mistake could take everything away from us is a terrifying truth. And fear is what makes us screw up. Now, I ask you, can you really blame Rye?"
My ears flicked. "No,"
Grix drew his prey back from the fire and began to remove it from the stick after a quick examination. "Exactly," He silently began to eat his rabbit in peace.
I stared at the faces of the surrounding Kyan, who casually stood around camp. Studying each of the emotions on the surfaces of their faces, I started to ponder how much each of them had to lose.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked Seq, who lay with his back against my chest. We both were both naked.
Seq shifted around in my bed until we faced each other. He placed his hand on my head and playfully rubbed it, bristling the fur on my cheek. "Sure," Seq squeaked.
"Um...did you ever think about...? Never mind,"
Seq sighed and removed his hand from my head. His eyes even changed to a more serious gaze. I already knew what he was going to ask. "Is it about something Rye said?"
I gave a weak nod.
The fox closed his eyes and gave yet another sigh of frustration. He reached his right hand over his eyes and rubbed them. Great. I pissed him off, as though he didn't already have enough to be upset about. I probably shouldn't have even opened my big mouth.
"What did he say?" Seq groaned, as he lowered his hand from his face.
"Well..." I said, already feeling my mouth begin to dry. "He told me why you broke up with him...and how you caught him,"
I could already hear Seq crying.
"So?" Seq asked.
I blinked. "So?"
Seq shrugged and rolled his eyes.
"I thought you might not want to talk about it," I said.
"Meelo," Seq said.
Crap. I really screwed everything up this time. "You and Rye didn't exactly end on the best of terms,"
"Rye was the past,"
"You still loved him,"
"Yeah, but not anymore,"
I had to word what I was about to say very carefully. "Is there ever a chance that you'll forgive him?"
Seq blinked once, just before he looked over my shoulder and stared at the wall, as though Rye was in the hut with us. I could see Seq's mind searching for an answer, as I stared at his eyes. It was relieving when he finally spoke again. "No. If it was anything else, maybe. Nobody's perfect, least of all me. But Rye...he made a crazy assumption and didn't even ask me if it was true. He just got angry and slept with someone else. I knew I couldn't be in a relationship with someone like that,"
"It still couldn't have been easy to break up with him," I added.
He released a deep sigh. "No, it wasn't,"
Gently, I tugged Seq close and then guided his head underneath mine. "I can't imagine what that must have felt like,"
Seq wrapped his arms around my chest. "I was hardly able to sleep and, when I did, it wasn't comforting,"
Before I knew it, Seq began to weep and quiver in my arms.
At first, I thought that it would be better to be quiet, like I was when Seq saw Aether's body. No. I wasn't going to stand on the sideline anymore. I tightened my grasp and comforted my boyfriend. "It's okay. Cry as much as you want. You'll feel better,"
Then, he started to talk between his tears. "I sometimes..." he sniffed. "I sometimes dream about him...in bed...with Basil,"
My ears perked. "You know, Rye said that, too,"
Seq arched his head back and looked up at me with surprise. "What?"
I gently rubbed his back with one hand and returned the fox's gaze. "Yeah. He said that he dreams about how you caught him and how he always feels ashamed,"
Seq's eyes shifted as he lowered his head and thought about the idea. "It's funny. When I was getting over Rye, all I wanted him to do was suffer like I did. But even though you've told me that...I don't feel any better,"
I lifted both of my hands, placing both them on Seq's cheeks carefully, and tilted his head back so that I could gaze into his eyes. "That's okay. Like you said, Rye's the past,"
"Yeah," he whispered.
It was now or never.
I closed my eyes and leaned in to meet Seq's lips with my own. It was a strong kiss, but it wasn't a lustful one, since I made sure to keep my tongue back. In that one moment, all I wanted to do was show how much I cared for him. I wished I could have come up with something better, like some caring words or something, but seeing Seq cry made me want to kiss him so much. I knew that if I didn't, I never would have been able to forgive myself.
Afraid that I was overdoing it, I broke the kiss and opened my eyes to see Seq staring back at me. "I love you, Seq,"
Seq's ears perked up and a smile spread across his face. It was strange to see Seq's smile accompanied by pink teary eyes. Yet, I truly loved the fox and would be there for him, no matter how many tears he shed. "I love you too, Meelo," Seq told me as he drew closer.
"I love you, and I don't give a damn who knows," I said.
Seq began laughing gleefully, which lit a tiny flame of happiness in my chest and even made me chuckle. If Seq was happy, so was I. That was all I needed.
Without warning, Seq pushed me over onto my back and climbed on top of me. I squealed in surprise, as though I were only a kitten while he mounted me. Seq leaned his neck down and danced his tongue into my mouth. A moan escaped my throat, but it wasn't out of pleasure. I placed my hands on Seq's chest and gently pushed him away, breaking the kiss.
Seq's ears twitched as his lips left mine. His eyes were a mixture of confusion and worry. "Is something wrong?"
"I don't want to take advantage of you,"
His narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. "Take advantage of me?"
"Yeah, I mean... You're really emotional and I don't think that it would be right,"
"Meelo," Seq said, his smile turning into a mischievous foxy grin. "If you were taking advantage of me, would I do this?"
Before I could ask what he meant, Seq grabbed my hand and placed it on his cock. Even though I had barely touched him, Seq was already becoming hard.
My ears dropped backwards and I placed my other hand on Seq's shoulder. "Seq, you don't have to-"
"I want to, Meelo," Seq gazed down at me, now with determination in his eyes. "I want to because I love you,"
I nervously licked the insides of my mouth and swallowed. I still wasn't fond of the idea of having sex with Seq, since he had just finished crying on my shoulder. But I could see in Seq's eyes that "no" wasn't going to be an option. There was always the chance that it might have lead to a fight, some tears or regret. Fine, if that's what Seq wanted to do, then we going to do it. Tonight, even if it might only be for a little while, Seq was going to forget all of his troubles and I wasn't going to stop him.
"Okay," I whispered.