Window Shopping

By Zatarra L. Vulpe

Alex felt his eyes drooping. His mind was flowing, felt awake, almost lifted above his actual head, but his body felt so listless. He scanned the little ridges of the subway car's rubber matting with some company name he didn't recognize. He counted them back and forth, up to one hundred at the next little bounce of a too-sharp turn. Stone eagles and _fleur de lis_loomed over him in all their bottom lit grey glory. Alex imagined they might have meant to evoke something once.

He rubbed his eyes, "God."

The city was dark, but alive. It felt right at night, more like its own universe full of street lamp constellations. There was slickness to the sidewalk that made Alex slip in his overpriced dress shoes. That woke him up, barely. The buzz of worker taxies left for the laughter of the nightlife. Clots of humanity drifted around in their fancy scarves and bags. The city was so bright when Alex first visited.

My kind of town, he thought.

He must have had rings under his eyes. His suit felt a little too snug, but dress clothes always did. Plain whites with a black tie, just like everyone else. He tried to remember how many people he'd called that day, how many had actually answered. Not that he thought any of them could use life insurance, but he had enough for his apartment and whatever his impulses drifted him towards.

Right now they were dragging him to bed, up a flight of carpeted stain from the seventies and into this own flimsy, slightly dented apartment door after struggling with the key.

"Fuckin' thing."

He glanced around at his things, unmoved for three days, gave a shrug and collapsed in his own bed. He lay there for a moment, thoughtless, hoping to sleep, but first he had to rip off his stupid suit. It was with a sort of natural violence. He didn't like being angry, but somehow it just bubbled up inside of him, especially after a day of shutting down his emotions and doing his best to seem vacantly happy to people thousands of miles away who simply didn't care.

He tossed the shoes, dress pants, button up shirt, tie, the whole thing in a big pile. He didn't care. Tomorrow was a day off, another day of watching TV or walking around the city and pretending to enjoy the bars. Drinking wasn't so much a habit as it was a hobby. The problem, of course, is like any hobby, once you do it too much it isn't fun anymore. He would take a little at the first place, a little at the second, a bit more at the third and after the fourth he would try to wave down a cab and hope he didn't puke. Alex slumped back on the bed, trying to bury himself into the mattress. He didn't care about the bars, he usually just picked one or two as he was walking around and then just tried to remember his address. It was the shops between. He liked to look in the windows, at the mannequins and sale signs. As things would get blurrier and hazier, he would consider heading inside, just touching one of the silks...

"Figures..."

He just shut his eyes. He tried to feel something, anything before he would let the darkness take him. He stared at the wall. Twisted. Looked up at the ceiling. Nothing. All he could picture was blackness. No daisy yellows, watery blues, rose reds, just black. He couldn't even feel sorry for himself. It was just gone, like the living dead. He blinked, kept staring, then truly saw blackness. His mind was like the city, ever working, but it just had this deep, black pit in the center, where nothing would go.

He woke up in a second. Or he was sure it was. It was still black, but he could make out the standard white walls from the slits of light in his blinds. His clock read about two in the morning. He hated this kind of stuff, too tired to sleep, to awake to do anything. He groaned.

He didn't even bother with his clothes, just shuffled into the living room and sat down at his couch. He stared into his coffee table. This was his other hobby. Just the little nicks in the grain, some kind of hint of tree rings, like wrinkles. He looked at the remote.

"What's the point."

A chair rang against the hollow wall from his kitchen.

The sound was so sudden and loud Alex wasn't even sure it had actually happened. The silence afterwords was just as deafening as the noise. For a moment he thought it was just the neighbors, but then for just a moment... He needed to check. He stood up and leaned to the side, looking into the darkness of his porcelain and stainless steel kitchen area. He took maybe two steps, his hand reaching out for the light switch as he flicked it on. Rather than laughing and shaking his head at an empty room, he growled a little and turned the light off, his pale skin lost in the darkness as he turned.

Then a dark shape pushed into him.

His hands flew back as he fell, but he felt a pair of arms claw at him. They held him against a warm body. He tried to push away, but he felt something warm, soft, wet at his lips. Someone was kissing him. Molesting him. He tried to shove them off, he didn't like this, but he couldn't, he felt so weak, his vision swam, his arms flowing off the person like a child. He gave a muffled groan to try and call out, but he barely made a sound. He was pushed to the ground. The arms were so strong, he was so weak. He wondered if he was dying, his breath coming slowly...

His vision swam. Deep black swirls. He couldn't see or smell or touch, like he was floating in oil. He just felt something, like he was walking? His legs were working, but he couldn't see or hear. He heard a soft voice saying his name. Alex felt so lost, his mind couldn't focus, senses dead.

"...such nice... Your jusss... Yes, in..."

It was the same voice. This had to be his rescuer, he hoped. Maybe he was just fading in and out, but he wondered if he could even think while doing such a thing. He was lost in the swirling darkness, his mind one way and then another before he'd grown a bit accustomed to the state. He tried to picture something, anything to break the monotony. Then the blackness came back. If he could do that, he would have a long time ago. This would just be the end, surely. Whatever. No one would miss him, he was sure he'd share the sentiment. Was this what death was like? Just a few sensory impressions before his bioelectricity runs out? Just wait for the batteries to stop and it would all be over.Good fucking riddance. He wondered what it would be like to just degenerate. Maybe he'd flick off like a lamp.

Rather than tuning out, he felt himself swimming in. The world turned back into place, it was the only way to describe the surreal feeling of spinning back into his body, into his senses. He blinked a few times, his head turning from side to side as he found himself sitting on the subway again. He pulled out his cellphone. Eight thirty. He was nearly home. Maybe he'd just dozed off in the sub? Then he noticed the date. It was two days later. Had he missed work? How'd he end up on the sub? He noticed an unread text message. It was his boss. He cringed. The boss never sends messages unless it's a complaint about quotas or a pink slip. He held the phone against his forehead and closed his eyes for a second, breathing slowly. He then thumbed open the message:

Nice job today, you should laugh more often, it really helps the morale in the office. Keep up the pace from today and you'll be looking up. You get tomorrow off, have some more fun with that lady friend of yours ;)

"I went to work?!"

There was a grunt from the seats in front of him. Alex flushed and lowered his head a little further. And a lady friend? Alex hadn't been on a date since high school, much less lately. He wasn't even sure if he was interested anymore, too caught up in drinking and... Well... Not-thinking he supposed. But that voice, when he was in the darkness. He didn't know what was happening, but he couldn't account for the past two days. The metro came to a stop. He rushed out onto the platform and then stiffened a little, slowing down and trotting toward his apartment, maybe a little faster than he should have. He felt strange, like he was tripping over his shoes or that his suit clothes were a little loose, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He stopped dead about halfway there. He was staring at his reflection at first: his hair looking a little mop-ish, his clothes seeming to billow around him a bit, and his facial hair was pretty much non-existent. Then he stepped a little closer and noticed the mannequin behind it. His eyes widened a little as it revealed the most beautiful red dress, hugging the mannequin's androgynous curves and filling out around the ankles. It was a fine one, probably worth a few months wage. The light in the store was out, but his hands were against the glass, splayed out slightly. He heard a little sigh.

"Isn't it pretty?"

He looked down to his right. There was a little girl standing at the window, almost in mirror of his own pose. His head bobbed up and down.

"Do you like pretty dresses?"

"Uh huh, I like to look at them all the time."

"Me too. I wanna get one like that someday."

"Me too."

The little girl could have been giggling in stereo. The warm, bubbly feeling died off as Alex realized that the responses and giggles were coming from his own lips.

He shook his head and pushed away from the display.

"Hey! What's your name!"

He stopped and felt warm and frothy again.

"Alexandria!"

The girl giggled and gave a little wave. Alex froze in horror. He turned and started running.

"Bye Alexandria!"

He didn't turn back this time. In fact, he didn't stop running until he reached his own door. He was shaking as he fumbled with his keys and managed to jam the right one into the door. He ripped out the key, opened the door and slammed it closed again. He rest against the door for a moment, catching his breath. He'd never run so far and so fast in his life. He flicked on his living room light and turned to slump in his couch. He stopped. There were a set of bags, each for designer stores eternally above his pay grade. He opened his wallet. There was more than enough cash there, probably more than he'd had last time he checked. He almost dropped it in surprise. He glanced left and right, then opened up one of the bags. He furrowed his brow, noticing a slim, black and white cloth. He gingerly picked up a corner between thumb and forefinger. It was a maid uniform, and not a cheap Halloween store knock off. The black was clearly silk, the white some kind of Egyptian cotton. He would have almost called it gaudy if the garment didn't look so functional. The apron tied into a little bow, the shoulders had a little puff. It looked far too small until he held it against himself.

He looked down at the way it complimented his frame. He frowned. That was the eternal problem with these things. They simply weren't made for his body. Or, he supposed, his body wasn't made for them. He set the garment down as he started removing his button up shirt and tie. He would just feel the silk against himself. Nothing would hurt his reputation if he did that right?

Then he stopped. There were probably a thousand dollars in clothes on his couch. Women's clothes, clothes he clearly hadn't paid for. He was rationalizing trying them on before anything else.

He promptly turned and walked into his room and shut the door, sitting down on the bed. He shook his head. Maybe it was just another dream, or the same dream, or some kind of hallucination. He shrugged. He didn't care. It was simply too absurd. He took off his clothes and decided to lay down in bed again, staring up at the ceiling. By all accounts he realized he should be terrified. Two whole days. Honestly, when he thought of it, he probably couldn't even remember what the two days before that consisted of. All of it had become a kind of blur of work, drinking, staring at the displays, counting the month's supply of cash in his head, imagining how it felt...

"No, no no no."

He shook his head to reinforce the gesture somehow. Just part of the dream or something. It's all nonsense. Or he was going insane. He rubbed his forehead. He just had to put it out of his mind, he couldn't let it get to him. He opened the door to his room again and found himself drifting toward the packages again, his eyes on the TV. He felt something soft rubbing against his body as he closed his eyes.

He opened his hands.

"No dammit! God!"

He backed away from a thin purple dress, his nude body shuffling slightly. He looked own, finding himself clad in the maid uniform and something under it that gripped his body tightly. He looked down to notice a pair of tight heels that somehow supported him. He'd never worn anything like them, so how he was maintaining balance he had no idea. He even had little gloves and pantyhose. He felt his chest and between his legs. He was wearing something on his chest, probably a bra, and his underwear wasn't what he was used to, it was smooth and tight against his front. His phone read an hour after he'd arrived home. He shook his head, icy panic gripping his chest.

He saw his phone buzzing. Unknown number.

"Hello?"

The voice on the other line was silky, soft, the voice in his head: "Oh, and you're all dressed?"

"Yes miss."

"Very good. And what a precious outfit, I was sure that one was your favorite."

"It is miss, I do love it so much."

"Very good then, do you think you can find my house again?"

"Yes miss, of course."

"Good girl."

Alex felt such a heat rising to his cheeks, his heart was pounding and he felt such a bubbly happiness, he gasped a little.

"Awww, see? Doesn't that feel nice?"

Alex's smile died. The panic was returning, he held his forehead, glove running through his lengthening hair.

"Wh-What's... What's happening to me m-m-miss?"

There was a soft sigh on the other side.

"Wh-ho are you m-miss?"

"You'll have to come to me if you want to learn."

"Well okay, where do I go miss?"

"You know where. And don't change clothes first."

"Yes miss."

"Good girl, then I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Yes miss!"

"Very good, I'll expect you shortly then."

The phone beeped. He set it down. Before he knew what he was doing he opened the door and started his way down the hall. He stopped short and looked down at his gloved hands. He grabbed the end of one and just started to curl it up. He nearly screamed, pulling it back down. He held his hands out. He wanted to take them off, but as he grabbed them and tried to pull them off, he felt such terror, such awful nausea. He would rather be naked but... He couldn't. His mind recoiled from the thought. He couldn't, and he wasn't stopping, his legs kept himself moving forward when he wasn't focusing. He felt himself descending into that blackness again, but there was something else, something deeper about this. He just let go. What's the point.

He burned with red, right at the cheeks, but he walked down the very same street he'd run from just an hour or so before. As he was walking down, he spotted the girl again, coming from the opposite way with her parents. He sighed.

"Hi Alexandria!"

He gave a little dainty wave with his glove. The parents smiled. The mother spoke up.

"Is this your friend Katie?"

"Yeah! I saw her earlier, she likes pretty dresses too!"

"Uh huh, I can see that! Well it's nice to meet you Alexandria."

Alex gave a little curtsey, gently lifting the corners of his dress and crossing his legs as he lowered his head. "As it is also a pleasure to meet you miss."

The father laughed. "Heh, wow, you're really into this stuff huh?"

"Of course sir, every maid should give her all to her work and the etiquette it requires."

"Yeah, no kidding, well that's good."

"Thank you sir."

"No prob, but how about you tell the nice lady goodbye Katie?"

"Bye bye Alexandria! See ya later!"

"Bye bye Katie! I hope you get a pretty dress soon!"

"I will!"

The parents laughed as they walked away, Alex continuing on his own path. He shook his head. What the hell?

He held up his hand, the glove seemed a little larger for some reason, not fitting his hand quite as snug as before. His hair felt a little longer, buffeting his ears.

"Goddammit I am not a girl."

He kept walking, his eyes a little unfocused. He didn't even recognize the streets anymore, just following turns and alleys as though he were walking a balance beam. He felt himself sometimes slipping into the blackness again, but for now he was angrier than anything. Whatever happened it was because a person was responsible for it. He glanced around, noticing his reflection in a window nearby. He was pretty sure he was noticeably shorter, thinner; the maid uniform was looking a little large for him now. He stopped.

His jaw dropped. Right in the middle of his kind of town was a large mansion, something he might recognize as baroque from his history classes. There were elaborate embroideries of beautiful creatures and women of all shapes and sizes, inhumanly smooth and beautiful, in every pose one could conceive of. Alex found himself opening the front gate, the iron smooth and quiet, well oiled. He allowed it to swing closed as the clacks of his heels were buffeted by the bushes flanking the path to the door. The street lights seemed to reach this place only just. He shivered a little, but felt his hand on the door and opened it with a small creak.

Inside was a similar story. There were a few glass cabinets with dusty jewelry and relics of various sizes and shapes, a large coat of arms checkered purple and white with a staff and an olive branch crossed below a pale rose. The chairs and sofa matched the walls, a light red with gold paisley patterns. There was a set of stairs that bordered the room, meeting under a portrait of what looked to be a man with a white beard and a wine purple robe looking quite serene.

"Come in girl! I'm in the kitchen!"

That same voice echoed dimly in the halls. Alex turned to her right and passed through a room with a long table, deep burgundy walls, a high backed plush chair at the end. He kept his eyes ahead, passing through another hall and finding himself in a kitchen composed of marble counters. The room was probably larger than his entire apartment, easily capable of serving a few hundred people. Sitting in the center, on a stool next to a central island, was a woman. She seemed tall, well formed, muscle tone just visible. Her clothing was actually rather plain, just a beige shirt and a black skirt with some smart heeled boots. Alex didn't quite know what he was expecting, but other than being fairly attractive she didn't seem menacing or special. In fact, she grinned as he approached.

"Hello girl, awww, you are looking precious tonight aren't you? Though I think your uniform is starting to outgrow you."

He looked down for a second. His hands were barely keeping the silken gloves on, his feet too small for his shoes. He couldn't have been over five feet, more likely nearing four.

"Wha-wha-"

"Awww, are you feeling okay? Do you need a little help girl?"

He looked up at her. His mind was swirling. He felt so many conflicting thoughts in that moment, about his life, about what he'd known up until that point, about what was happening to him. He felt something welling up behind his eyes, his vision growing blurry.

"Ooohhh there there girl, come along now."

The woman came closer and picked him up. It seemed far too easy, he couldn't have weighed more than ninety pounds. She was so strong, Alex was wrapped in her totally. He felt so safe in her arms, even as his cheeks grew wet. Between breaths he might make a soft whimpering noise.

"Shhhh, it's okay, everything will be okay girl, you just need to rest now."

Alex felt they were moving. He didn't make noise, just breathing softly, eyes closed. He felt such shame. This woman was everything, the world around him gone.

After a moment or two, he felt a little bump. She wiped his eyes and stepped away from him. He was sitting on a large, soft green comforter, on the side of a bed. He barely reached the floor as he sat on it. He stood up and looked down at his feet, his legs were so small. He took a step and his foot slipped out of the shoe, his toes tiny, the panty hose slipping off. He stepped out of the other one as well, looking back up at her.

"Awww, that is just so precious! You really are very cute Alexandria."

"That... That's not..."

"Oh? It's not? Then what is it?"

"Al-Alexandria."

He covered his mouth with a small, thin hand. His skin felt so smooth. The woman gave a gentle laugh. "That's what I thought, but that's okay, Alexandria is a beautiful name."

"But I... I don't... What have you done to me?"

The woman grabbed his uniform and slipped it off, easily. The panties fell of easily, barely able to hold themselves to his frame. He was still fully developed, he even the beginnings of breasts, but he was so small now, so thin and weak.

"Now now, let's start by getting you something a little more fitting, okay?"

"Yes miss."

"Very good girl, now take the rest of these off will you?"

"Yes miss."

Alexandria easily slid off the rest of her clothes. She looked down at herself, noting her skin was pale, soft, hairless. Her male equipment was gone, but she was more interested in her profile in the light, her arms splayed slightly as she twisted her hips a little. The mistress was in a walk in closet, rifling through what sounded like a completely full wardrobe.

"Awww, admiring yourself girl?"

"Yes miss!"

"Awww, well you look very cute girl."

"Thank you miss!"

She bounced a little on her heels, her brain felt a little fuzzy, but she waited attentively. She wanted to be a good girl. Her hands rest at her sides. The mistress returned with another little uniform. It could have been a copy of the one she'd worn previously, a few modifications here and there. She noticed after slipping on panties and garterbelt.

"There's a hole, miss."

"Yes girl, it's there for some extra changes you'll be having soon."

"Oh, I see miss, might I inquire what to?"

"I'm not sure myself, just a feeling."

The mistress gave Alexandria a gentle scratch behind her ear. It twitched, it felt a little longer somehow. Alexandria merely giggled.

"Aww, how cute, isn't that nice?"

"Yes miss."

Alexandria slipped on her new pantyhose, not a crease or run in them, though they left a small opening for her toes and the ball of her foot for some reason. She didn't notice any shoes, but she didn't question it, simply clasping her bra and finally working on the uniform itself. There was another small hole in the back, but she supposed the mistress would tell her if she needed to know about it. She tied the apron around her back neatly into a little bow and smoothed out her skirt so there were no lines. Once finished, she stared up at the mistress.

"All dressed then?"

"Yes miss."

"Very good, good girl."

The mistress patted her head. She made a small sound she couldn't place, something like a purr, but not quite.

"Awww, that is so precious, I will certainly love having you around Alexandria."

Alex blinked. Suddenly he shook his head. He stepped away from her, looking down and noting himself in this strange garment. He was so small now, only four feet tall, everything felt so gigantic around him. He burned with shame. He'd done this willingly, somehow. He remembered every second of it. It was like it was still him somehow.

"What's wrong Alexandria?"

"Th-that's not my name, it's Alexa- Al- Alexandria."

The woman sighed softly and reached out to take Alex's hand. Alex recoiled and sprinted toward the doorway.

"Stop."

Alex stopped dead.

"Come here."

Alex turned and trotted back toward the woman, his eyes down. He tensed as though he were about to receive a blow. Her voice sounded low, soft but resonating, it had him utterly at her command. Alex finally looked up into her eyes. She closed her own eyes and sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"Wh-why?"

She held out her hand and clasped his. He followed her out of the room, down the hallway, and back into the foyer, standing in front of that picture of the old man. Alex stared up at it. The woman's voice was soft, not a hint of anger or menace.

"Do you know who that is?"

"W-well, not really, he looks familiar."

The woman chuckled. "Maybe in stories. That's me from the seventeenth century."

Alex stared up at her. She had a small smile on her face, but was utterly sincere.

"Oh yes, I've been the way I am now for about eighty years, with some fairly minor changes of course, but I was just so captured by the women of the twenties in this country. They had something different about them, maybe it was just the motion picture."

"Wh-what?"

She looked down at Alex for a moment. "What is it that you truly desire?"

Alex kept staring at her, he simply blinked, but then his eyes lowered. He tried to think, maybe it was whatever had changed him again. She was doing something to him, he had to know it, but there was that black lock again, that deep seated pit in the center of his mind. Maybe that was it, she was responsible for everything, all of his suffering. She had to be, it was the only way. But, try as he might, he couldn't find his answer.

"I-I don't know, I-I can't think, w-what did you-"

"Nothing, Alex. I didn't do much of anything, really."

"B-but I'm..."

She shook her head. "Listen to me, Alex, I'm about to tell you a story, and all of it is true. It will give you your answer."

Alex was hesitant, but he nodded.

"About a thousand years ago, I was a scholar-mage, part of an order that has long found the rest of its members dead or senile. We collected knowledge from all disciplines we knew at the time: philosophers, historians, even laborers. While we were all will workers of significant skill, but we were nothing compared to the task that lay before us."

Alex gulped. "Wh-What's that?"

She sighed. "To utterly understand the human condition. We were going to figure it out, finally, what it meant to be human, why people are as short or tall, happy or sad, light or dark as they are. We were going to enter the human soul and find what gave people their personalities. We needed this, we needed to understand our need for it, what we are as creatures and as thinking beings, why the will is infinite yet the body so finite."

She paused. When he didn't speak she continued.

"We always felt as though we were on the verge of something. Our wills were all taking strange, different directions. Mine were leading toward the mind, what the will could do to humanity and the world around it. The use of tools, the mastery of fire, the creation of ideas and knowledge, even overcoming the limitations of the body, all were my interests. They consumed me. I was certain this was the key, that the seat of humanity and human understanding would be in the mind, to the point of overcoming any limitation set by the body or reality. You know what the awful part is?"

Alex shook his head.

"In ways, each of us succeeded. Taken in our various directions, we built new systems of magic that allowed us to understand something of humanity. Each succeeded too well, you might say..."

She glanced over Alex.

"But I suppose this doesn't explain why you're the way you are, does it?"

"N-no, what did this to me?"

"You did."

Alex froze. "N-n-no, h-how?"

"I do many things with minds, Alex, but I don't pretend to understand all of them. I do find, however, there are others who have something of the need that I had, when my body began to submit to my mind. I've had this form for eighty years because my mind wanted this form. Evidently it still does. I don't entirely know why, perhaps that's an aspect of myself I have yet to discover, or one that I shall never. But, the gift of overcoming the body's limitations is no mystery to me. I can impart this on those that desire it, those that scream for it silently, within the realm of their own heads."

Alex felt his grip weakening. "S-so I... I'm... I want to be..."

"You are this way because your mind desires you to be this way."

"B-b-but this is... this is so..."

"Please, speak clearly Alex."

"But this is so wrong... This is sick. I'm female, my body is tiny now, how could I want this?"

"I think we both know why."

And like that the black hole in his mind faded. He saw it clearly for the first time. The stores he would pass from bar to bar. The slurred, drunken rambling about silks and shoes. How many long nights he'd spent, the answer just at the corner of his mind, but then forced back, back, further away.

"But, then how can you command me like that? How do I know things I don't know?"

She shrugged. "I can't answer that one for you either Alex, my gift is entirely yours when it is gifted. You're free to do as you please as far as I'm concerned."

Alex looked up at her, then down at his feet. They'd been planted in the same spot for a full minute now. He took a few steps away from her. He stared at her. She shrugged. He turned and opened the door, stepping out of it. She still stood, unperturbed as the night air swept into the foyer.

"But, you can command me."

"Yes, I learned that the first night I'd given you the gift."

He shut the door.

"Stand in front of me."

He was fairly instantaneous, trotting before her and smiling, bubbly, warm, happy feelings returning as he stood at attention.

"Now tell me why I can command you."

"Because I want to have someone else give me the orders. I like having a sense of purpose and being told what to do and being kind of a servant or slave."

"And why do you want me to give you commands?"

"Because you're really nice and tell me how good I am."

"And why do you want to be in this form?"

"Because I want to be small and cute and girly, even if it's kind of a stereotype."

"And you really like that?"

"Oh yes, I think about it all the time when I'm walking by stores or at home by myself-"

"Okay, okay, and why don't you know about it?"

"Because it's bad and wrong and I shouldn't think about it and I don't want anyone to know."

"And why don't you stutter now?"

"Because you told me to speak clearly."

"So you'd obey any of my commands?"

"Yes miss."

"And you would really like doing them, even being a small woman that you are now?"

"Yes miss."

"What other changes will you have?"

"Little claws, paw pads and cat ears, and a tail, with white fur."

"Thank you Alex, that's all I wanted to know."

Alex's hand came to his mouth. His responses were automatic, totally unfiltered, and every one of them true as soon as they fell on his ears, ears that were creeping through his hair to rest at the top of his head. He gasped and wailed.

"Alex, please, calm down, everything is fine."

"I'm a freak! I'm a goddamn monster! I'm sick and wrong!"

"Come here Alex."

He took a few steps closer and she wrapped her arms around him. She rubbed her hand slowly along his back. He recoiled.

"You're not wrong. There are many things in this world that are 'wrong,' but desires aren't one of them. Everyone has desires, and as far as I can tell, everyone thinks they're strange."

"B-but..."

"Shhh, you're not wrong Alexandria. You're not sick. You just have a desire, and that's okay. You're allowed to have them. Everyone is allowed to have their own little fantasies, and everyone is allowed to change."

Alexandria felt awful, but she hugged the woman back.

"There we are."

"I.. I don't know your name."

"It's Catherine, or it has been for a long time."

Alexandria nodded. She felt a little peak of warmth on her cheek as Catherine gave her a little kiss. Catherine yawned.

"Oh goodness, what time is it?" She glanced at a clock on the wall. "Not that late, but I suppose I should get some sleep either way. How about you make my bed and then I'll make yours, okay?"

Alexandria gave a little nod. She felt the warmth returning as Catherine gave her a little scratch behind her ears. Her emotions felt much more genuine this time.

"Good girl, I'll be up in a minute, okay?"

"Yes miss Catherine."

Alexandria trotted toward the stairs and made her way up them. Her body propelled her along. She still felt a little down, but what Catherine had said really helped. She was so easily affectionate, so understanding. _Maybe she was right?_Alexandria considered it as she padded into the room. She straightened out the sheets and comforter so that they were practically flat to the mattress. After she'd finished, she noticed a full body mirror against the far corner. She padded her way there, surprised by the girl staring back at her.

She had long hair, reaching mid back. It was violet, but deep enough to border on black. Her eyes were a soft blue, her face small. She looked childlike, but definitely still had proportions for being in her mid-twenties. She had a slight frame, with just a little curve around her hips and chest, but Alexandria considered them modest, definitely fit with the uniform. Her skin was quite smooth, not a hair in any strange places, well, other than her ears and 'paws'. Her hands had grown little pink paw pads, nails small until she extended them with a tiny flex. Her toes were similar, arch extended a little so that she could practically walk digitigrade. They had a fine dusting of white fur that looked almost like a set of gloves, and certainly matched her uniform. Behind her arced a long, white tail, having fitted through a small hole at the waist of her maid outfit. She stared at the picture for a little while. This was her body, the body her mind wanted. She felt her mouth creeping up at the corners.

"Alexandria! I have your bed! Have you made mine?"

"Yes miss!"

"Good girl, come help me with yours, okay?"

"Coming miss!"

She turned and bolted into the hall, grabbing one end of what felt like some kind of large, full trunk. It was smooth, her hands had trouble getting a grip on its circular surface. Eventually the pair managed to rest it roughly at the end of the bed. It had what looked like a small door with a window in it on one end. Alexandria stared, she wasn't sure she'd even fit in it.

"Oooohhh, what an interesting bed, here, let me help you with it, okay?"

Alexandria stared at it for a moment, but then turned to Catherine. "Yes miss Catharine, what does it do?"

"I'm not so sure, but I do know it's yours."

Alexandria gave a little nod as she walked over to it. Catherine drew the door open to find it was, in fact, totally padded inside. Alexandria really did wonder if it was supposed to be a bed at all.

Catherine tipped it back so that the door was facing upward. The 'bed' rest this way without trouble, despite seemingly being totally circular. She then picked up Alexandria and rest her inside. Alexandria had time to curl up her limbs loosely before Catherine leaned in and started wrapping her. It was a silken sheet, binding her from the head down. Catherine drew it to her so that it wouldn't be impossible to move, but it would be difficult without help. Alexandria stared down at it and then up out of the little door.

"There we go, now I think this should do it, but just in case I've got a little charm to wake me if you're in any sort of trouble, okay?"

"Yes miss Catherine."

"Very good, good night my lovely Alexandria."

Alexandria felt a little hazy, so happy at that, she nuzzled miss Catherine's hand as she reached down to scratch her behind the ears again.

"Good night miss Catherine."

The door closed with that, leaving Alexandria in total darkness. There was a soft sound that emanated from the walls of her little cushioned prison, but it was weak, non-disruptive. She couldn't even hear her breathing. She could move slightly, but really she just felt a full body warmth as all her limbs and tail were a jumbled mess in the tight little sheet that held her. She decided to lay down her head, well supported by the cushion as she was. The door opened again briefly, light pouring in for a moment.

"Almost forgot."

Miss Catherine leaned in and directed Alexandria's face to her own. They shared a little kiss on the lips. Alexandria made a little surprised sound, but then her eyes drooped again. It did feel really nice, the warmth between them. She tasted like strawberries.

As miss Catherine drew away, she gave Alexandria another little pat on the head. For a moment, she swore she could hear on both their lips I love you. The door closed again.

Alexandria sighed softly and allowed herself to settle. She fit quite snugly into the little 'bed,' though comfortably so. The tight feeling of the sheets was actually a bit reassuring as she decided not to fight against her bonds. The air was warm, but never too humid or dry. She slipped into sleep easily and smoothly. The darkness around her became a canvas for all the emotions she'd let out: the fear, the shame, dark and foreboding thoughts.

But then... She felt something else. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. She felt content. She felt as though she'd found something that was good, something that didn't make her hopelessly depressed every single day. Yes she'd changed, but then maybe she needed this change. Now that she had time to herself, now that she knew what was happening, maybe she could find a way to embrace it. She let her thoughts drift. There were bright lights, warmth, and friendly faces for the first time in a long time. She only thought about the things that made her happy.

She smiled.