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The Child of Fire and Rage

Chapter 39

After what had happened that morning, it suddenly occurred to Etienne that the pressure to father a child on Taiga was very real. If he didn't meet the expectations of the clan, they were going to kill him. He would be released from Maret's protection and returned to Skkye. And perhaps Ayni would dig her claws in him, and this time, she wouldn't let go.

When Taiga left, Etienne decided that he must find Asres, find out what was happening to Azrian, and then escape the black foxes. Only . . . he hadn't a clue how. Two warriors had been left to guard the royal burrow, and when Etienne stuck his head into the corridor, he was horrified to realize that they had probably listened to his furious lovemaking and even more furious argument with Taiga. One fox smiled at him nastily, the other wagged his brows, and seething, Etienne slammed the door, returned to the fire, and sat.

Even if Taiga's family hadn't been smart enough to leave him guarded, how would Etienne figure out where Asres was? Would the foxes even talk to him? Or speak his language? It was one thing for the prince and princess to do it - in fact, it was expected if they were to peacefully communicate with dog intruders. But the rest of the clan? Not likely. And even if he knew where Asres was, how would he find his way through the endless twists and turns of the burrow? He'd half a mind to seduce the guards into telling him. At least he'd be halfway out of this mess.

As it turned out, Etienne didn't have to look for Asres. Asres came to him. It was around midday and he was dully rolling a grass ball against the wall when Asres opened the door and stepped into the burrow. Etienne froze and glanced up to find the young male standing there uncertainly. He seemed surprised that Etienne was there, and Etienne had to wonder why - where else would he be?

"My sister was supposed to take you," Asres said, as if emerging from Etienne's thoughts. He stepped into the front room, closing the door behind him, his small and polite smile ever in place. "She was to show you around the burrow, let the clan see you. They've been clawing to see you."

"Oh joy," Etienne said dully. He let the grass ball roll back to him and spun it lazily in his fingers as Asres took a few careful steps into the room.

Asres frowned. "My sister was distraught. She wouldn't speak to me when I saw her last."

Etienne laughed dryly. "She's_distraught? I'm the one who should be distraught. Tossed around from god to god like a _plaything." His nostrils flared and he chucked the grass ball hard at the wall. He winced when it hit a shelf and brought down a few small carvings.

Asres shook his head and went for the ball. As he was bending to retrieve it, Etienne found himself watching the young male's high backside. He silently scolded himself and averted his eyes, but when Asres straightened up, he got the feeling the young male knew exactly what he had been thinking and feeling only a moment before.

"Where does it come from?" Etienne wondered as Asres found a fur-lined chair and sat down. He watched as the boy tossed the ball lightly in his nimble paws.

Asres smiled. "You mean . . . my ability to see your mind?"

"Yes. And . . . do you see it all the time? Or do you just catch things every now and then?" Etienne winced as he thought of it. "And . . . do you see things? Personal things?"

Asres laughed lightly. "I would have to touch you, focus, go deep within . . ."

Etienne slowly smiled, and the boy looked away, embarrassed.

"You know what I meant," he scolded Etienne. "To really penetrate the layers of your - oh, for the love of the gods!" he cried in exasperation when Etienne started cracking up.

Etienne grinned. "Sorry. Can't help it. Everyone's always going on about how pure you are, and yet here you sit, all these things coming out of your mouth that could be so _dirty_out of context." He shook his head. "You're giving up something that can beautiful and wonderful and for what? The loss of your vision? Explain to me what the upside is again?"

Asres scowled. And looking at him, Etienne realized it was the first time he had really seen the young male so angry. "I don't expect you to understand," Asres said defensively. "Once I give myself to Yfel, I will be in service to one of my gods. I will become her vessel and her tool. Even in death - should she choose to wear my face - she will use me to her ends."

Etienne tried not to sneer. ". . . wear your face? Do I want to know?"

"The gods," said Asres patiently and solemnly, "can manipulate the spirits of the dead. They can make our spiritual fragments rise again to do their bidding."

Etienne listened grimly, thinking of how Azrian had been raped the night he met her. He was more than certain now that Ayni was behind it.

"They can take our soul and wear it like a mask," went on the boy. "To punish the living. To walk this world without bringing harm to mortals with their very presence . . . to . . ."

"Wait . . . just their presence . . . hurts us?"

"Hurts them," Asres corrected. "You are no longer a mere mortal, dog god. You have been to Skkye. You have partaken of its waters. You have been touched by the gods in their true form."

Etienne rolled his eyes to the ceiling, trying to comprehend what was being said. ". . . alright. So I'm not mortal anymore. Why don't I bring mortals harm when I'm near them then?"

"Because you are only immortal in part. They have made you god-touched," Asres said with large, admiring eyes. "You can walk both worlds, half-god and half-mortal. The things you can see now, the places you can . . ." He cleared his throat and looked away when Etienne smiled in amusement at his doting.

"I still don't understand," Etienne said, getting to his feet, "what's so great about giving up sex and losing your vision. And clearly, you've been experimenting. Because the way you touched me last night --"

"That --!" sputtered Asres and halted, biting his lip. He let Etienne take the grass ball from him and watched as the older male paced, passing the ball back and forth between his paws.

"That?" Etienne prompted.

Asres looked away. "I learned from a boy once. Long ago. Father discovered us. . . ." He dropped his eyes to the earthen floor. "And they traded him to another clan of Maret."

Etienne frowned. "I'm sorry. Hmm. For a moment there, I thought it was . . ."

"Feven has never touched me," Asres said to the bear rug and his chest heaved. "Though he wishes to."

"But you don't let him." Etienne came to a stop before the boy's chair.

"Never."

"Why?"

Asres lifted his eyes, baffled by the question.

Etienne smiled. "It's pretty clear he cares about you --"

"I can't," Asres said with a scowl. "I promised. I promised myself to Yfel."

"And if you go back on your promise, she'll what? Rain plague and pestilence on the clan?"

Asres stared at the floor. "No," he said in a tiny voice.

"Then what will happen?" Etienne said with a laugh.

Asres lifted his face and looked at him. "My family will hate me."

Etienne went still. "Ah." Not knowing what to say, he turned and started pacing again, sometimes bouncing the ball off the wall at intervals.

Asres continued to stare at his feet. "It is a great honor," he said to the floor, "for a male to give himself to the goddess of dying stars. Not many males have the courage, they say. Seers are usually female."

Etienne laughed dryly. "Makes sense. So why do you have to be a virgin?"

Asres swallowed hard. "That's the way it is. The royal bloodline of every tribe must stay pure. Their virginity is a gift to the gods. Their bodies are vessels for the gods to use as they wish. My sister had to stay pure until Maret possessed her husband and took her on her wedding night. But Maret changed her plans . . . and so Taiga was pure for you instead. And when I give myself to Great Yfel, I must be pure for her. My penis is hers and will always be hers, to use as she desires. . . . until the end of my life."

Etienne caught the grass ball as it bounced off the wall and paused thoughtfully. "So . . . if you defiled_yourself with me . . . how would _Maret feel about that? Would she drop her little plans for me?"

Asres slowly scowled. "Yfel might disown us in disgust and Maret would follow. And you would do this to us, deprive us of our magic, just to get back to what? To Azrian? My sister is the better female." He sprang from his chair. "And one day, you will realize that!"

Etienne rolled his eyes. "And one day you will realize that you do not need to bow to the gods!" he said angrily and spun to face Asres, who took a staggering step back when faced with the sudden reality of his height.

"Take it from someone who's been to Heaven and back," Etienne went on emphatically. "We are nothing_to the gods. We are toys in their great game. They sit on their clouds and watch our suffering in amusement. The gods are competing right now to rule earth, putting me and Azrian through pure _hell, and causing your kin to suffer, and what is your precious Hildrith'el doing? Sitting back, eating popcorn!"

Etienne fell silent with a shuddering breath, and it took him a moment to realize he'd been yelling. He blinked and looked down at Asres, who was standing before him, shivering, with tears in his eyes. Asres sniffed and a tear escaped to his lip. Etienne caught it with his thumb.

"A-Asres . . . I . . . I'm sorry."

Asres shook his head and took a miserable step back. His legs hit the chair behind him and he sat hard on his tail. Strands of black mane fell across his eyes as he bowed his head and braced his paws on the armrests. He was still crying. The guilt thrumming through him, Etienne set aside the grass ball, and after hesitating, touched Asres on his mane.

"Asres . . . please, don't cry."

"I cry because you are right," he whispered to the floor. "They don't care about us." His chest heaved and another tear fell. "They don't care at all."

Sympathy washing over him, Etienne sank to his knees and carefully embraced the younger male. Asres slipped his arms around Etienne, and with sudden abandon, he cried. He cried hard and helplessly. And Etienne stroked his mane and shushed him, thinking he was as lost and broken as his sister, who was so desperate to get a child so she could please her family and her gods.

"But what would we do without the gods?" Asres whispered, his voice choked with sobs. "Without their blessing, we will never win our lands back. We will never again be treated as anything more than s-savages . . ."

"Hush, don't cry. You're getting my shirt all wet."

Asres laughed through his tears and sniffed, watching Etienne fondly as the older male pulled back and dabbed his tears with his own sleeve. Etienne ducked his head down and peered into Asres' eyes. His pretty moon-shaped eyes.

"Help me get back to Azrian," Etienne said, "and once I'm on the throne in Wychowl again I promise - she and I will make the world a better place for foxes."

Asres nodded breathlessly, and Etienne was relieved to see the boy believed him. "Ayni is going to use a dog to get rid of Azrian," he said unhappily. "She wants the dogs to rule Earth, and the ones from Curith . . . they worship her. They have always worshipped her."

Etienne's eyes dulled as he thought of Donica, whose bloodline's every victory was the result of fire and conquest. Typical. He looked at Asres. "What is she going to do?"

"The dogs of Curith have a c-cult," Asres whispered, for fear the guards would hear. "I have seen it in a vision. The ones on the throne are Ayni's descendants and their ancestors are considered the children of Ayni. They have fought long and hard for the throne in Wychowl because they would see it as a triumph over King Antony and his creator . . . over Hildrith'el."

Etienne sighed. "So all this is about Ayni getting back at Hildrith'el for stepping on her toe a million years ago? Have I mentioned I am utterly sick of being a pawn in the gods' stupid games?"

"Listen to me!" Asres hissed and clutched Etienne's arms.

Etienne went still.

"If you don't get to Azrian in time, one of Ayni's children will kill her in a blood sacrifice. Ti'uu will lose the game, and Ayni's child will then take your throne. Ayni's child will marry you. Ayni's child will rule the world."

"Isn't this something that's written in the stars, though?" Etienne said unhappily.

Asres shook his head. "As a disciple of Yfel, the first thing you learn is that the future is always changing. I saw but one path in many. The choice is yours to save her . . . or leave her to die."

Etienne swallowed miserably, his blue eyes unseeing as he let the boy's words sink in. "And . . . this child of Ayni's that you saw in this vision . . ."

"She was a young bitch," Asres said, peering off into the distance as he remembered. "Red. With a long red mane and bright eyes . . . bright green eyes."

Etienne sighed angrily. "Hellene."