FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Shattered: Redux

Chapter IX: What Once Was, Part II

Sometimes you have to let go of what's gone; appreciate what remains and look forward to what's next...

-Anonymous

Alex chased after Miyu, panting as he put all of his effort into catching the swift feline. He ran passed groups of startled people and weaved through the forest of parasols and surfboards as he pursued the female lynx that blazed a trail ahead of him across the sparkling sands. Every once and a while she would look back with a beaming and playful grin.

He grinned back at her as he redoubled his efforts and slowly began to gain ground on the lynx. Alex managed to get within a few feet of her, close enough to hear Miyu giggling, and reached a hand out to grab her.

Suddenly, he lost his footing, his foot had gotten snagged in a pothole and it sent him soaring forward to crash heavily onto the white sand, shooting up a spray of the pure white granules as his face sunk into the unforgiving grit.

The unfortunate man groaned as he climbed back up onto his knees, spitting out the gritty particles and wiping his face clean. "Ow." He muttered as he spat out a chunk of sand. A fine dusting of white coated his frame.

"Aw, did you fall down?" He heard Miyu ask teasingly as she walked back over to check up on him. The spotted cat crouched down beside him and looked down with a small smile as she helped him back onto his feet.

Alex grumbled unintelligibly as he dusted himself off.

The lynx made a pouty face. "Aww, is the poor human angwy?" She cooed.

Alex tackled her without warning, pinning the feline to the sandy beach, smiling down at her triumphantly. "Got ya." He snickered, his trap sprung.

Miyu shook her muzzle and flashed her sharp teeth in a rueful grin. "Why you cheeky bastard, that's dastardly."

Alex shrugged and leaned in closer and whispered. "You're it."

He bolted off her and sprinted down to the surf, sending geysers of water into the air as he trampled through the thigh high waves.

Miyu threw herself back onto her paws and was chuckling as she chased after him.

Alex looked over his shoulder as he was running and his smile vanished. The damn cat was fast! Miyu was zooming down the water, heading right for him, like a heat seeking missile. Even as he ran as fast as he could get his legs to move, she effortlessly closed in, eyes shining with a predatory gleam. "Crap." He muttered in defeat, seconds before the feline slammed into him, spending both under the gentle blue waves.

Everything cut out and he couldn't see under the water very well, but he did feel a relentless weight planted on his chest. Gasping, he forced his head from under the waves, blinking away the salty water and seeing that Miyu sat firmly on his chest. The feline had a victorious smirk plastered across her muzzle. "Got ya." She chuckled throatily.

Her furred body pinned him to the ground and he began to feel a tingling in his groin as she rubbed against him subconsciously in a way that began to register in the primal parts of his brain. Alex froze as his body was either unable or unwilling to respond to his wish to move.

Miyu gazed downwards at him with her deep amber eyes and her smile was replaced with a look of hunger. The feline placed her paws onto his chest and traced them upwards to the side of his head, cradling him in her gentle grip. She then closed her eyes slowly and pursed her black lips, bringing them down deliberately to his. She folded her ears back and her tail began to flop lazily behind her, patting against his legs.

His brain was fogged with desire and confusion, as he was unsure as to how to react to this situation he suddenly found himself in. The man's arms moved on their own, running up the sides of her toned and furred legs to grab onto her lusciously soft furry hips.

At his touch, the feline produced a steady purr that he could feel through the water and where she was straddling him. His seeming acceptance accelerated her and she brought his head up the rest of the way to mash against her lips in a fiery kiss. Her tongue wiggled against his closed mouth, seeking entrance and forced its way in

Within seconds, her pink appendage began to explore the depths of his mouth, tracing all of its contours as the muscle's owner began to moan into his mouth determinedly. Miyu pressed her muzzle further into him, trying to fit her tongue's entire length into his mouth. Her subconscious rubbing shifted into grinding as she ground her hips against him, mewling softly.

Alex felt his member stiffen up under her lustful assault and the sudden intake of pleasure jumpstarted his brain. He let his head fall back under the cool waves, letting it douse the fires of lust running rampant in his head.

Since their heads were connected so intimately, Miyu was brought along, spluttering and releasing him as she shook her muzzle violently, sending water droplets flying in every direction.

Alex sat up and the waterlogged feline slid off of him with a squeak, splashing back into the water. She was quick to get back on her paws and looked at him carefully.

Alex didn't know what to say. "I..." He trailed as he lapsed into an uncomfortable silence that seemed to stretch on forever. "I have to go to the bathroom." He finished before turning around and slowly walking up the shore and towards the small roofed building near the streets.

Miyu watched him go. "Great Miyu, you blew it! You just couldn't let things play out, you had to go and mess it up." She scolded herself with a sigh.

She trudged back onto the beach and sat down by the waterline holding her knees in her paws to watch the waves roll back and forth. The lynx set her muzzle atop her knees and gave a deep winded sigh.

"What happened...Miyu?" She turned her muzzle to see Krystal padding up to her, a curious curve gracing her features. She didn't answer and instead returned her gaze back to the ocean. The vixen stood for a moment before sitting next to the cat and adopting her pose. Krystal looked back to her friend and repeated her question in a softer tone. "What happened?"

"I screwed up." She replied quietly, turning to her friend with red eyes. "We were playing and having fun, I tackled him and then..." She snarled, baring her teeth and slamming a paw into the sand. "I couldn't control myself!"

The vixen nodded understandingly and placed a paw on her friends back, rubbing it softy. "It'll be alright."

Miyu sniffled. "What if it isn't? What if he can't bear to look at me anymore? He probably things that I'm just some sex starved animal!"

Krystal frowned.

Miyu had obviously tried to get closer to him, but it had not ended happily. The vixen didn't know whether to feel sorry for her friend, or angry with her. After a short debate she decided that her friend needed her help. "Of course he won't." She chided. "He's smarter than you give him credit for, just give it time and I'm certain that this will blow over."

Miyu rubber her eyes with her paws and looked to her friend timidly. "Is that really what you think?"

"Yes it is." She confirmed. "Give him some space, and after a while you should confront him about it.

Miyu bobbed her head slowly. "Okay, I'll do that...thanks Krystal....I know that this probably upset you a little bit."

Krystal smirked. "Yeah, it did. But our friendship is more important than any rivalry."

"What if it doesn't have to be a rivalry?" Miyu asked.

The vixen flicked her ears and tilted her muzzle. "What do you mean?"

"Well...there is always the pack law." The lynx suggested.

Krystal considered what her friend said. "I suppose there is..."

Both girls sighed and looked out to the waters, watching as the sun slowly began its descent in the fading light of the evening sky. "Love is messy." Miyu commented dryly, sending both girls into a fit of giggles.

**********

Alex leaned over the counter of the public bathroom and stared at his haggard face through the chipped pane of glass over the sinks. A dozen thoughts rampaged through his head as he tried to come to grips with what happened down on the beach. He had been taken by surprise by Miyu, not expecting her to do that.

But more than that he was angry at himself, he had let it continue. If there was any girl that had earned his love, it was Krystal. She had seen him through his integration and was a very close friend. And while they had never shared a romantic gesture, they were practically dating in all but name. She had been nothing but kind and caring to him since they met and did much to curtail the torment he went through on the ark. She lost her people and was the only one who genuinely understood what it was like to be the last.

But then he had met Miyu, the cat with the spitfire personality, she was a meteor of emotions and action on a collision course with his heart. She shared his enthusiasm for weapons, fighting, and had a soft side that rarely showed but he loved to see. She was fun to have around and confident in everything that she did.

Somehow...somewhere...along this crazy rollercoaster of emotions that was his so-called life, they managed to burrow into his heart, and they were protected by barbs. If he were to try and remove them, the process would be painful and he was not certain if he would survive it.

He had plenty of experience with loneliness. Six months of being pitted against the monstrous, perverted, and necrotic forms of everyone you have ever known and loved really hammered that feeling home. It was something that he wished never to feel again, if he did it would assuredly destroy him. Now that he had been reintroduced to life, it would tear him apart to be denied it.

It was ironic really.

He had been able to live alone when he was stranded on the ark; he had even come to terms with the way his life would play out. He had accepted that that was how it would eventually end. Either the necros would finally get there claws on him, or he would just give up and turn his gun on himself. It was something he expected.

But....

Now the necromorphs were gone, he had a life to live, friends that he needed, and love that he thought he had found.

If he lost it all again, it would absolutely destroy him, shattering his fragile core. He did not want to lose anyone, one more loss and it would begin his downward spiral into madness.

He would never be the same man he was before the ark fell. Now, he was deathly afraid of being alone and the darkness terrified him. He had to sleep with the lights on when he went to bed, like a fucking four year old!

Alex clenched his hands and the countertop creaked dangerously.

What kind of man was he now?

The answer to that question was simple...he was a broken one.

So, how could a broken man go out there and accept that Miyu loved him? How could he choose between the two girls that had done so much to balance him out? He couldn't just choose which one he loved more, it didn't work like that. It was just his misfortune that he fell in love with more than one girl.

Alex came to a grim decision.

The best solution was to simply forgo love, it would be better if they remained friends and the girls could find a better man to fall in love with, one who wasn't flawed. They deserved more than he could hope to give them.

Alex twisted the faucet and splashed water over his face and after preparing a façade, he walked out of the bathroom with a counterfeit smile.

As he walked down the beach he noticed that the sun had set, plunging the coast in darkness. Dotted across the sands, small lights of fires flickered and he could see figures sitting around them and their chatting created a dull roar. Immediately, his pulse quickened. Alex had no idea that it was so close to nightfall before he went into the bathroom.

Shapes began to manifest in the flickering fire lights, bladed limbs and malformed faces. On the wind, he could hear faint howling from rotted lungs. Alex's heart started to pound and he began to shake uncontrollably. As he walked, he spotted two familiar figures sitting by the beach and ran, stumbling drunkenly as the shadowy creatures in the dark taunted him. He could feel his sanity seeping out of him and his fear addled mind became a jumbled mess with one goal, to find his friends.

Krystal heard his shambling and looked over to see him running, eyes wide and breathing heavily. "Alex, what's wrong?" She asked worriedly, scrambling to her paws and rushing over. Miyu was quick to follow, and they both caught him as he started to collapse.

"Dark...it's too dark...the monsters." He mumbled, shivering in the warm night wind.

Krystal had never seen him like this before, but from what she was hearing, she could piece together what this was about. "It's okay Alex; there are no monsters here, just us." She soothed, running a paw across his shoulder. His skin felt clammy and it was damp with sweat.

'No, they are always in the dark, waiting....waiting." He muttered, holding on to the vixen for dear life.

"What's going on Krystal?" Miyu demanded as she looked on in confusion and fear.

"I don't know Miyu, not for sure. But we should head to the hotel." Miyu went to grab their stuff while Krystal stayed with Alex.

She sat beside him, rubbing his back as the man sat in the dark. It took a solid three minutes before he seemed to regain his mental faculties.

"I must look like a fool." He muttered with an ugly self-effacing chuckle. "Scared of the dark like a damn kid...some man I am."

"What was that?" Krystal asked softly, worry laced into her voice.

Alex looked over to her, eyes bloodshot. "I can't seem to help it, if it gets too dark....I just lose it. I don't know for sure why, but I have an inkling as to what it may be."

"What?"

He looked away from her. "I rather not say."

Alex was almost one hundred percent certain that his long term exposure to the marker's signal was a major player in his unexplainable debilitating fear of the dark. And if that was true, it was merely the onset of a more serious disease. They had called it signal madness, and it could happen to any person affected by the marker, at any time. Symptoms were not at all pleasant, the lucky ones became psychotic, and the unluckier ones....they became something worse.

If it got worse, he would have no choice but to put himself down before he went loony and began to try and create markers. The last thing he wanted was to be responsible for perpetuating them. But that option was not exactly his favorite, he was just starting to find the appeal in living again.

Krystal watched his expression as it ranged from anger to sadness. His surface thoughts were in such a tumult that she couldn't get a bead on what he was thinking. But one think was for certain, she was worried about him. This was an unexpected development, but she had some experience with matters of the mind, and she knew that it had something to do with the monsters that had destroyed his species. It would be understandable if someone were to develop psychological ticks after an event like that.

She herself had a hard time letting her friends go off without here. She feared that something bad would happen if she wasn't there with them. It manifested after Cerinia was destroyed and she made friends on the team. She was afraid that she wouldn't be able to help them, like her homeworld. Of course, she had eventually managed to get over it, but that was after a lot of help.

"That's okay Alex. You don't have to say anything. Just know that if you need me, I'll be there." She leaned in close and planted a soft kiss on his cheek, making him smile.

"Thanks Krystal...that means a lot to me."

She smiled back at him and stood up, seeing the outline of Miyu as she came back from there spot, arms full of their towels and clothes. "Let's get going. I think a good night's sleep is in order."

"Is he doing better?" Miyu's voice came muffled through the stack of bags in her paws.

"I am doing better." He answered. "Sorry for the little freak out. I don't know what came over me."

The mound of stuff rolled as the feline under it shrugged. "That's okay; everyone deserves to have a breakdown every now and then."

The trio then decided that it would be best to call it quits for the day and head back to the hotel for the night. Alex couldn't help but feel bad about it though, he had ruined a perfectly good night with his inane episode. It was just another reason that they girls would be better off with some other guys he supposed.

The walk back to the hotel was done in a tense silence. Alex was still high strung from his panic attack and the girls didn't want to upset him any further. Thankfully there were plenty of lights on the way back and with Krystal and Miyu in close proximity; he managed to get to the hotel without incident.

Inside the foyer, they spotted a familiar vulpine lounging on one of the couches and flipping through his wrist bracer lazily. At the sound of the doors opening, his ears flicked and he looked over to see the three entering. He smiled but it shifted into a worried frown as he took in there grimaces and Alex's disheveled appearance.

Fox quickly got up and marched over. "What's the problem?"

"There's no problem Fox, I just had a little panic attack." Alex explained, quietly.

"Panic attack?" Fox repeated in confusion. He had never seen the human have a panic attack, even when he had first arrived.

"Don't pester him about it." Krystal scolded.

"Okay I won't." Fox sighed. He could just ask Alex later. But for now he would make sure they were all settled.

Fox gave Krystal and Miyu their separate room keys and they went off to their respective rooms, giving the human a quick hug each.

After that, Fox told Alex that he would be bunking with him, and that the guys had doubled up, Slippy was rooming with Falco, and that got a weak chuckle out of the human.

On the way up, Fox experienced that same tenseness in the air, and that Alex remains silent all the way up until they entered their room. Fox slid the card and opened the door, letting them both in. Then he watched as Alex slowly plodded inside and threw his bagged clothes on the bed at the far side of the room. From there he walked over and plopped down on the padded chair facing the window and silently staring out into the night, still wearing his swimming trunks. As he sat, he reached a hand out and flicked the light switch, bathing the room in a soft yellow light. As soon as the light came on, a small relieved sigh eased out of him.

Fox lay down on his own bed over the sheets and sat there thinking for a few minutes. Alex was obviously troubled about something and when he was troubled, he found that a stiff drink and good friends went a long way in making the problem seem less intense.

That gave Fox an idea and he sat up from his bed and walked over to Alex's. He grabbed the human's bag of clothes and called out his name. When Alex turned to look he tossed it to him. "Get dressed, I'm gonna take you somewhere."

"Where are we going?" Alex asked as he caught the bag.

"Just get your clothes on." Fox retorted with a chuckle.

**********

"What is this place?" Alex asked his friend as they pulled up to a large two story building with bright lights and a line of furs trailing away from the door.

"A place I like to go when I need to find myself." Fox replied as he turned off the hovercars engine.

"A church?" Alex joked.

"No...a nightclub." Fox fired back with a grin as he got out of the car.

Alex shook his head and opened his door, stepping out into the night air. The bright lights of the club's sign banished away most of the darkness and made the job of walking over, easy. Alex thanked The Lylat Star for their generous lighting.

The closet they got, the more excited the voices from the furs in line became. "It's Fox Mccloud!"_was a common phrase and so was _"It's the alien from TV!"

Fox just waved politely and Alex copied him and a few pictures were taken before they stopped in front of the door, bypassing the line entirely. Alex supposed that publicity did have its perks.

Blocking the door was a massive muscled rhino in a jeans and a black shirt that had CREW in large white letters printed across the front. The burly rhino dwarfed the both of them. "Hey, Bruce." Fox greeted.

"Hey Mccloud, are you bringing your new friend too?" The baritone behemoth inquired.

"Yeah, he needs a few stiff drinks." The vulpine replied.

The rhino nodded and moved to the side, letting them in. "Have a good time and mind your manners." He warned.

Inside the club, bright multicolored lights flashed and a fast paced song pumped loud enough that Alex could feel it in his bones. It reminded him of the clubs he had seen before, although it was occupied by a different species of clientele.

Alex followed Fox as he weaved through the partying crowds, bumping into others and frequently getting recognized. Eventually they managed to stop at the bar and took two free stools in the center.

Seconds later a thin and curvy cheetah sashayed over with a sultry smile. "Hey Fox, long time no see, and I see you brought company, and he's good looking to boot!" The feline giggled and gave the human a flirtatious wink.

"Hey Melina, my friend and I will have the usual, and make them doubles." Fox dropped a few credit chips on the counter. "Oh, and he's off limits to eh."

The cheetah pouted. "Aw you're no fun Foxy! But I'll serve ya anyways." Melina smiled and swiped up the credits, turning to fumble behind the counter, the sound of clinking bottles could be heard. She pulled up a glowing blue bottle and two tall glasses. The feline deftly twirled the bottle caught it and poured the drinks, flashing another flirty smile Alex's way. "Here you are, two Cobalt fireballs." She slid the drinks over and Fox grabbed them.

"Thanks Melina, you're the best."

"Don't you know it!" She giggled and turned to serve another patron, rolling her hips and playfully bouncing her tail back and forth.

Fox sighed as he watched her go. "That girl...." He shook his muzzle and took a long swig from his glass, draining it. He slammed the empty mug down to the bar and heaved a deep sigh. "Phew, that really hits ya hard." He looked over to Alex and slid the second drink towards him. "Here, drink up."

Alex hesitantly lifted up the drink, eyeing its glowing blue color. He swore that he saw it bubble. The human shifted his gaze over to Fox and raised an eyebrow.

Fox rolled his eyes. "Just freaking drink it Alex."

Alex shrugged and downed it in one go.

Almost instantly his eyes teared up and he coughed as his throat was consumed in fire. The room spun and he grabbed the bar for support. "What the hell was in that?" He demanded over a fit of coughing as he shakily slammed his glass onto the counter.

This time Fox shrugged. "Oh you know, a little alcohol, food coloring, radioactive isotopes, it's the works."

Alex spluttered in disbelief. "Radioactive...isotopes?"

Fox chuckled, smacking his paw on the top of the bar. "Nah, but I got ya!"

Alex huffed, unamused. "Ha, ha, ha, very funny Fox."

Fox continued to laugh. "Oh come on lighten up Alex, I'm just trying to have fun here."

Alex sighed. "I guess it was pretty funny."

"That's the spirit, loosen up man, now's the time to kick back and relax." Fox hailed Melina down and got four more drinks. After that, they talked for a while and drank, getting decently buzzed as they did so.

Fox had been waiting to get Alex a little tipsy before he tried to question him and find out what his problem was. And now that he was fairly loosened up, Fox moved in.

"So Alex, what's the situation with this panic attack? When did they start?"

Alex's tongue was loose, having been oiled up by the powerful drinks, and he felt comfortable with telling Fox. After all, the vulpine was his friend, and if he couldn't tell his friend, who could he tell?

Alex sighed. "I have been having them for some time now. Thankfully though, no one had been around to see it, at least until today."

"Why are they happening?"

At that, Alex was quiet for a moment. "Well...I am not complete certain, but I think I know why."

"What is it?"

The human leaned onto the bar, crossing his arms and staring at the wall of colored bottles. "Remember when I talked about the effects of the marker's signal, all that time ago?"

Fox nodded, apprehension building in his gut. "Yeah, you said it could really mess someone up."

"I think that may be what's happening to me. And if it is, it will only get worse...a lot worse."

"Is there any way to stop it?"

"Not that we found, unless you count eating a bullet."

Fox shook his muzzle negatively. "That's not stopping it."

Alex looked to his friend. "Listen Fox, if I do get worse, and I almost certainly will, and I am unable to do it myself. I need you to be the one to pull the trigger."

Fox vehemently denied that. "No way Alex, it won't come to that! We have doctors, they can...no, they will find a way to help you."

Alex smiled sadly. "I don't think they can Fox. Can you promise me that if I start to go, that you will be the one to prevent it? I need to know Fox. Otherwise I'll have to make other arrangements."

"Why Alex, why do you have to be put down?" Fox growled.

"BECAUSE, I CAN MAKE THEM, FOX!" Alex loudly exclaimed before he sighed heavily and muttered quietly. "I can make them, those goddamn markers."

Fox then recalled that he had told them that it was one of the ways that markers could be built, that the knowledge would be implanted in the hosts head. "I...I promise." The vulpine exhaled heavily.

Alex nodded his head in satisfaction. "Thank you Fox, as crazy as it sounds. I am thankful that you will be the one to end it if I am too far gone. You're a good friend."

Fox scoffed, but smiled. "Yeah, good friends promise to kill other good friends. That sounds about right."

Alex grinned and lifted his fifth drink. "That it does, now...how about we get smashed eh?"

Fox grinned back and picked up his drink and chugged it, placing the empty container near a small grouping of other empty glasses. "Now, that is a plan I can get behind."

After it was all said and done, the human and the vulpine staggered out of the closing club, arm in fuzzy arm. They sung terribly off-key tunes and meandered down the sidewalk and towards the hotel as the night sky slowly brightened, signaling the start of a new day.