FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Life is chaotic. Think about it, it's a bubbling soup of a string of events that feel like they begin with something simple, but after a few chemical reactions, those carrots thrown in change the flavor of the broth. What was once simple, is now more complicated. Add more vegetables and the broth is unrecognizable, the tang could be from the tomatoes, or it could be derived from a series of flavors that merge to create a brand new flavor, like when jelly meets peanut butter. Well, when anything meets peanut butter.

Speaking of peanut butter, guess what kind of sandwiches my parents' church is handing out to those who are evicted from their homes due to oddities? That's right, some people had even more ridiculous problems. Like, this one girl, her apartment- just her apartment- suddenly became filled with swarms of bees. Like, they just crawled out of the vents or something. Another guy, woke up to find that the walls of his house were lined with Anthran fur, and that the mass of flesh was radiating warmth.

Yup. This is my life now. Handing out sandwiches to those who have no where to go. And trust me, it gets worse. While some of these aren't so much dangerous as much as creepy or strange, we all noticed that a couple guys were thrown into the ocean on account of their bodies appearing from no where, and having rods of iron for their blood veins. The man who found those bodies in his house also found that all the hardback books in his house were bound in scales that giggled when the book was opened, touched, or interacted with in general. Another woman found that all the glass in her house had become diamonds, but still held the same exact shape as they did before hand. Figures she had those stupid pig tail light bulbs.

To clarify, it had been three days since the storm, and the police were still trying to sort out all the problems and file them all away before they could even make guesses. They did find that the events were things that couldn't be done by any man or machine. In fact, no known force on earth can turn a house upside down, and have it maintain it's gravitational orientation. Poor guy had a hard time getting outside, but once he did, he fell from the house and onto the ground above him. Trippy, I know.

So me and Ted were handing out sandwiches at our parents' church. Most excepted them and thanked us, but there were those who didn't, usually because they were only there to pray. It was all going smoothly, until Valen and his parents showed up.

"Valen? What are you doing here?!" [Me]

His dad seemed exstatic to see me, and I had to suppress a laugh at his overly cartoonish voice, "... Alex? Oh it's so good to see you again! I wasn't sure if you'd be here or not. How's it going?"

"Oh, it's going great, Mr. Brown. And you look as dashing as ever, Mrs. Brown." Yeah, I know, cheesy, but I knew Valen. He hated his parents as much as I used to hate mine. Only, he probably still did.

"Oh, stop!" [Valen's mom]

"You're lucky your parents told us you were gay, other wise I might have to defend my marriage. So, is this your boyfriend?" [Valen's dad]

"Uh... No, well, sort of. When you're gay, plural... relationships aren't as big of a deal."

"Okay... Well, stay away from Valen, he hasn't had a girlfriend yet, so we need to make sure he's straight- no offense-"

"None taken, but..." I looked at Valen who got wide eyed, terrified that I might tell. "... I already dated him."

"What." [Valen's mom]

"I hate you." [Valen]

"Well, that's what you get when you break someone's heart." [Me]

"Valen isn't gay, he's just not ready to date anyone yet." [Valen's dad]

"Oh he's ready, he's ready to make it to second base, and if I understand the analogy, I had to keep him from hitting third base at your house."

"... I can't believe you." [Valen]

"Valen, is this true?" [Valen's dad]

"No! It's not-"

"Valen, are you gay?"

"... Yes! Okay?! I can't help it! I just can't!!"

"Valen, I can't believe-"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He fell to his knees, beginning to cry. It was good to watch him suffer. Sad, but good none the less.

"Valen, pull yourself together, there's people watching." [Valen's mom]

"I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry... I just can't help it... I just can't..."

"Valen, people are starting to stare." [Valen's dad]

"Why did you do this to him?" [Valen's mom]

"By all means, if your husband had broken up with you before you were engaged, wouldn't you have enjoyed watching him suffer?" She looked taken aback by this, but didn't argue. I turned around and walked off, handing out more sandwiches. Ted stopped me when we went back into the church's kitchen for more sandwiches.

"Hey, what was that?"

"What was what?"

"Oh you know what."

"Oh, Valen? Was that too much?"

"You think?! What if Seth decides he doesn't want to be with you? Are you gonna tease him about the pentagrams-"

"Seth wouldn't do that! Don't even joke about that!"

"Okay, okay! Sorry, but, still..."

"No. He wouldn't-"

"I'm not talking about that! I'm talking about Valen! You broke up with him, and you just potentially ruined his life!"

"Okay, I didn't break up with him."

"You don't deny it when he says it, and he says it a lot-"

"Because I did technically break up with him, but it was his idea."

"... What?"

"He told me he couldn't stand not having either or our families know, and that it was driving him insane, and that he thought we'd been having a bumpy couple of weeks, so he through out the whole I'm not gonna kiss you unless you do it with me thing and told me if I didn't bend over he'd split. I told him that I was gonna have the last say and told him I didn't want to be with someone who couldn't love me for anything other than my body."

"... Oh my god. He... He just wanted to... Wait, do you think Daniel just likes me because I'm willing to have sex with him?"

"Woah, keep your voice down, this is a church!"

"Do you?!"

"I... No, Daniel wouldn't..."

"You think he does."

"No, I don't!"

"He does, oh my god."

"Ted, he doesn't! Believe me-"

"Oh my god, he tried to get you to do it with him first."

"Ted-"

"And... I just... I..." He looked straight into my eyes, and something about his expressions screamed kill me. I hated it. I grabbed him and held him, letting him hold onto me, crying into my shoulder. Good job, Alex. In less than an hour you made two people cry.

We just stood there for a minute, and when he lifted his head up he still looked sad and terrified. I lead him upstairs to where nobody was, and had him sit down in a chair. We weren't going to hand out sandwiches if he felt this way.

"I just... I just want to make him happy... And he tells me to do it, and I just... I just do it because... Because it's what he wants. ... And..."

"Ted, it's okay."

"No, no it's not! He doesn't even love me, I thought-"

"Ted, calm down. He loves you, I'm sure he does-"

"But he loves my body-"

"Ted, every gay teenager with a dick loves your body. You're adorable as fricking crap. I'm trying to calm you down and I've got a boner just because I'm in the same room with you!"

"... Great, now I'm just a slut-"

"No, you're not! You're this brilliant, creative person, and if you can't see that, then it's no wonder that you don't let people see your work! The only person who makes you feel remotely confident is Daniel, and that's because he loves you!"

He just sighed and leaned into me, laying his head on my shoulder. After a few minutes he calmed down, and I managed to talk my parents into letting us leave. We went straight to Daniel's house, who embraced Ted, holding him tight in his arms and kissing the top of his head.

I sat down on the couch next to them and texted Seth, telling him to come over. It was kind of boring just sitting there, until Daniel's dad came out of the pantry, calling someone on his cell phone while he worked on his lunch.

"Oh thank god you picked up. Listen, there's some wacky ass shit going on around here and you haven't exactly been calling lately- ... Well I wouldn't care if the damn kid blew up! You're lucky Penny let you go through with the fucking project. ... Yes, yes, I know, for the thirtieth time, I'm glad that America is letting you go through with this immoral bull shit, but that doesn't excuse from being able to not answer- ... Okay, well- ... Wait, really? Lodestones? In his bones? ... Woah. Keep that kid out of it. ... Oh, well, true. ... Right, right, but I need to ask you something. So, there's been a lot of weird stuff going on here, Greg. ... Uh, pretty weird. I mean, last I checked walls aren't supposed to bleed and gravity isn't supposed to invert itself. ... Well how the hell am I supposed to know? It just started a couple days ago! There was some storm and that same night everything went to hell! ... So we didn't even make the storm? ... Woah. What could've caused this? ... Well no shit, of course it's not a Theorium thing, the entire island is practically made of Theorium and we haven't had these kinds of problems. ... Crap. I was afraid you'd say that. So... I guess you lucked out. These weird events are gonna keep me here through out the year. Later." He hung up and set the phone down, looking frustrated.

"... Dad?" [Daniel]

"What..."

"Why did this happen?"

"I don't know! Nobody does, and nobody ever will! This isn't the resurrection theory, this isn't a man made thing, this is all- ... This is all going to hell!"

Daniel looked genuinely afraid, and pulled Ted closer to himself. Seth came in the front door, and saw that everything was really tense.

"Uh, is this a bad time?"

"... Seth, please tell me you can think of what this is." [Daniel's dad]

"Wait, the whole storm thing? I thought you said it was Theorium thing." [Seth]

"It isn't. It isn't Reset either. We don't know what this is."

"Then, how can I know?"

"... Look, I'm desperate. The cops and everyone have put this on hold, words not going anywhere about that these events, and everyone agrees it's for the better. The cops told me to see if it was Theorium, but it wasn't, so..."

"Well you can't tell them that!" [Seth]

"... Are you telling me to lie?"

"Yes! If people found out that there was some completely uncontrollable force that could warp the fabric of reality than they'd flip! It'd be twenty twelve all over again, except the suicides would go up even more!"

"Okay, yes, but what am I supposed to say? It was some device we made that has no reverse button?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Seth, this isn't a secret that can be told to five thousand people." [Me]

"No, he's got a point, they can't find out, but... I can't even think of what to say." [Daniel's dad]

"... Say it's experimental technology and that something went wrong. Like, a particle accelerator malfunctioned or something." [Ted]

"That, that could work. Ted, you're fucking brilliant, thank god you're my son's boyfriend." Daniel's dad bolted out the front door, taking his sandwich with him.

"Right, boyfriend. Which means I love you to no end." Daniel buried his muzzle into Ted's fur, sighing as he did so.