FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

It was not the first time that FG had been in Nabudis for the past four months he had travelled across Ivalice. But it always amazed him everytime he visited. A pristine metropolis sitting on a lake not more than two days from Nalbina, rushing waterfalls on all sides with the most perfect clarity of mirroring the sky underneath them. The grand castle above the capital of Nabradia kingdom was even more empowering than that of Nalbina Fortress where the clan homebase was set. The streets were much cleaner as well as having more solid stone of grey compared to the sandier texture of Nalbina or Rabanastre. James was almost reminded of the Imperial City long ago in Cyrodiil, clasping his pendant wistfully as the various smiths and storefronts offered a rich and varied industry from books to swords to light supplements. Through pale-grey stone streets and thoroughfares they found the address noted on the back of the parchment, a two-storey house with its own private small garden nestled away from the city streets. It was a much quieter area too as they carefully knocked on the door. Dahlia however was shaking all over struggling to maintain her breath. "You alright?" asked FG. "M-m-maybe, just...i-if it really is him I would-" "You don't know who it is." "I KNOW who it is it cannot be anyone else's handwriting!" "Here." Fayne offered her a herb from his hands which smelt sweetly of mint, allowing her to chew on it slowly as she started to calm down. Her nerves turned more rigid, or at least as best they could as the herb's effects started soothing her, murmuring: "Th-th-...thank you." The bishop nodded patiently as the door opened before them revealing Mr. Delmonico from before, his moustache lifting upwards in a wide grin. "Aaaaah come in, thank you for coming!" The clan stepped in to find a rather surprisingly grand hall for such a small-looking house. It was smaller than Spoolworth Manor was at the very least, and while there was no stairway in the central hall, there was a set of double doors in front of them with two single doors left and right of them. The entrance hall had one single desk, more like they were inside a bank than anything else as the plush velour carpeting rubbed up against their feet. Delmonico led them past the desk towards the double doors behind it, entering a much larger office area. A perfectly rectangular room without carpet strangely as their claws and boots clopped on solid wood. The room was completely dark with not even windows as their anxiety grew as if suspecting a trap. Navarro gripped her blade in preparation as did James, before Delmonico said: "Please wait a moment." "This better not be a trap," warned Navarro. "Or Faram help you if it is, kupo." "Do not worry...things are going to turn a little...electrifying." "W-wait," said FG, "electrifying-oh shit no I can't-JESUS!"

Light exploded in front of their eyes as they all shrieked from a sudden sensation washing over them, an odd tingling across their entire bodies that instantly began to calm them as soon as it had frightened them. Almost as if they were being massaged by invisible waves of energy as they opened their eyes once more, a deep humming noise constantly vibrating across the airwaves. James however felt more than just massaged, he felt every single organ inside his body being stroked by invisible hands in the most uncomfortable, invasive and yet strangely soothing experience. Lighting up the room in front of them was a gigantic lightbulb at least ten feet tall, or at least what looked like a giant lightbulb which tapered at the top. Lightning in a bottle, intensifying sparks against the walls of its glass prison like a wild beast roaring to break free. Yet they heard no sound of thunder, and the only other thing to note was a single black cylinder the size of a human being, a large multi-slatted hoop around its base inside the glass housing where all lightning had come from. "Are you at ease?" said a voice from the darkness. The clan did not respond as the strange vibrations constantly molested them, their faces ranging from awkward uncomfortability to a strange derisive enjoyment of such intimate penetration. Eventually the lightning faded from their vision as the room slowly brightened up, the sound of a power switch clunking heavily which diverted energy from the glass to the lights above. Standing on the other side of the room next to a wooden desk, the walls next to it teeming full of papers all neatly well-aranged, was the most fastidious neatest-looking man in existence. "Are you...our client kupo?" asked Navarro cautiously. "Correct," said the man. "My name is Mr. Tesla. I apologise for my little experiment unnerving you but I find it soothes people greatly enough to put them at ease in my estate. Are you at ease?" "Not from being a subject for an experiment, no." "My apologies." Walking forwards James got a better look at him beneath the lighting, now seeing the room itself was set up like a laboratory even without the glass housing in the centre. Various machines mostly of spherical shape were all stocked away and noted fully by paper parchments scrawled on them. Mr. Tesla had a perfect moustache with not a hair out of place, not even bending towards the cheeks with his black short hair parted down the middle.

Standing with a slight stoop in an immaculate suit around over six feet tall, his nails were fine-honed to not one inch over the length of his fingers. Compared to Delmonico who they had met, this man was impeccable, beyond normal with eyes sunken into their sockets giving a dark curious stare whilst also having a very light complexion. His hands were also rather sizeable for a human's, the hands of a pharoah one might say. James walked forwards forgetting Dahlia was behind him quite stricken with nerves rattling through before asking: "What...the hell is that thing?" "A radio frequency oscillator driving a double tuned resonant transformer. My agent prefers to call it a Tesla coil for a more...marketive name." "Why was it giving me really weird vibes like really uncomfortable?" "That's the resonance field, I simply turned down the level of kilohertz to a more tolerable level. It can produce many results ranging from muscular therapy to stimulation to sudden defecation." "Wait wait what?!" said Baldwin. "You sszhayin' thisszh thing can make me sszhit mysszhelf!?" "Yes at the proper frequency." "...Fayne, go sszhtand near it!" "Noooo," said the bishop rolling his eyes. "If you wanted to prank me, you would do better than that, idiot." "Ehh, can't hurt to try!" Tesla simply chuckled and shook his head turning towards Fayne with a smile on his face. Suddenly his voice of prim educated hume dialect had turned guttural in his throat, as if trying to mimic the bangaa's voice. "I would not do such a thing unless specifically asked, good bishop." To James' surprise, Fayne's response was almost perfect without a single pause or slur as eloquence overtook him, gasping with surprised delight. "Wha-...you speak my language?!" "Yes, I have studied most of the bangaa dialects as well as the moogle." "Good...Faram I have...never witnessed a hume speaking my tongue this is wonderful!" "I find languages VERY interesting sir Fayne, they are a marvellous fluid thing to study even though my work largely involves science. But I fear your friends may not enjoy being left out of conversation." "Pfft who cares what THEY think?!" cried Baldwin ecstatically in mother tongue. "You sound like one of our own, I didn't think humes even COULD sound like that!" "Believe me, it took me some time but it was worth it." "Where did you learn it?!" "I took a course in Rabanastre many years ago, I enjoy learning something new every day so I always find new courses to partake." "As do I," said Fayne, "you have no idea how painful it is to speak Hume sometimes with this accursed tongue I was born with...but I do my best." "I think you sounded immaculate good sir, you should not be so hard on yourself. NOW!" He reverted back to the Ivalician standard. "Let us begin with the task at hand." "Indeed," said the moogle, "your experiment is novel but I would like to get down to business, kupo. I am Navarro Rocino, clan treasurer and deputy leader. This is James Campbell, our leader, Fayne Smithee and his brother Baldwin of the clerical duty, and lastly our white mage-...um..."

Before the moogle could even say her name however, Dahlia had crouched behind James panicking softly as the raptor asked: "What's wrong?" "I-i-it's him...it's really him," she whimpered. "What's the problem, he's a nice dude." "Y-yes...he's...he's amazing." "...are you a fan of him?" "Fan? I'm...I admire him." "Well go say hi!" "B-but what if he hates me?! What if he-" "Excuse me!" James called out to Mr. Tesla as Dahlia squeaked behind him. "Um, my friend here, kind of silly I know, she's a HUGE fan of you and uh is super shy, sorry. She actually recognised your handwriting so we sort of knew who was giving us the mission." "Is that so?" Tesla rubbed a hand over his forehead sternly as if anticipating trouble, a tightening fist in his other hand before sighing deeply to prepare himself. "Hmmmmmm...madame...I am honoured that you are a fan but I am simply here to meet with your clan on business, there is no reason to be so shy around me, I have beseeched you to come here this is not a...book signing, it is simply a meeting." "I-i-i know!" squawked the nu-mou. "Of course we are meeting to...oh gosh, but...b-b-but to think I could ever be in the same room as the most intelligent wondrous hume in all of history!" "I understand that." "The master of lightning, the very embodiment of it!" "I know, but-" "Your rotating magnetic field theory is a thing of GENIUS that no other could possibly have achieved!" "...I...beg your pardon?" "I...I read on all your experiments, your magnetic fields, your induction motor concept, your polyphase system...to think we could wield such power without magic is a thing of beauty, pure unbridled engineering to see a whole other side of existence." "...you...read my revue?" "Your Electrical Revue yes, it was amazing! I especially loved your differential concept of gravity, I-i mean with magic we are able to control simply a minimal force of gravity to pressurise upon central points of existence to a factor of zero-point-two-five, but you believe that we could achieve it by other means from a magnetic repulsion force! That would make it ANTI-gravity, perhaps even revolutionising airship technology without the use of magic! Isn't that...right?" The same silence James had felt when he asked what year it is was the same silence now projected onto the white mage forcefully. Shock came from her friends as well as Mr. Tesla who walked forwards in amazement, nodding. "...you are the first of my fans to ever talk about my work with such passion. What is your name?" "D-Dahlia...Orosco, Mr. Tesla." "Well...you are most certainly correct that I did theorise upon a means of anti-gravitational force by means of magnetic repulsion, but of course to do such with airships would be quite the task." "True, but you were planning on it for the sake of areas where magical energy was too strong, was that right?" "Yes, but I am amazed because every past fan who has spoken to me were all just gibbering idiots begging to touch my face." "OH...goodness...I-i mean, yes um I'm well aware of those people who have no interest in the science but more...you...I mean you are a handsome man but I find your brain to be the most wonderful part of you Mr. Tesla."

James leaned over towards Baldwin as the nu-mou and hume spoke to each other on differential equations, murmuring: "Looks like you were wrong on both counts." "When did sszhe become sszho sszhmart?!" rasped Baldwin. "Are you joking?" murmured Fayne. "If you actually took time with her company more often you would have known her better." "And you do?!" "I actually talk to her, YOU ogle her from afar." "I-I do not, sszhe'szh my friend too!" "Shut up kupo," murmured Navarro. "We can use this to our advantage, our client will warm up to us faster." "Does EVERYTHING have to be an opportunity for you?" asked FG. "Only when it fits." The raptor rolled his eyes as they turned back towards Tesla and Orosco babbling away to each other. James barely listened in on what was being said other than the odd mention of repeated terms such as differential concepts, magnetic fields and so forth. But he did not want to be rude and simply waited until Tesla put up his hand saying: "Well, I am most sincerely impressed by your understanding of my work miss Orosco, but now if I may I would like to get to business." "OH, o-of course!" said Dahlia. "I'm sorry I...my mind let slip." "No no please do not apologise for your fervour, I appreciate it. Now, the reason I have asked you all here, after hearing of your recent reputation, I have only one request." "And what is that kupo?" asked the moogle. "This request shall not leave this room. You will breathe a word to not one single person, or else your reward shall be made null and void. Is that clear?" The clan understood with that severity as Rocino nodded firmly, flinching an eye of warning to the three males behind her. "We understand. Now what is this task?" "Several years ago," began the hume, "I was in the employ of a man called Mr. Edison, a most inefficient man who, whilst is well-competent in his own field of study especially concerning alternate currents and tremendous concepts of mass-production, had a most veritable contempt for mathematical knowledge. He offered to pay me a small sum as part of his study group, which at first was acceptable and I enjoyed it if anything for learning how others viewed such concepts against my own. But after great interest came to me over many research papers and journals and whatnot, I struck out on my own and essentially became his rival. This did not make him happy." "I have heard of this Edison, he was the one who theorised greatly on a cheaper means of electrical lighting for housing correct?" "Correct." "It is an interesting idea, to employ lighting without magic means but would it be necessary?" "That is for the public to decide and then I am not certain that was his work truly after what he is capable of. If he had a needle to find in a haystack, he would search straw by straw rather than deal with a little theory and calculation." "Hm, I see no love is lost between you two, kupo." "Considering I was once offered fifty-thousand gil after he dared me to redesign his inferior technology to something more viable, and once I did he refused to pay me by calling it me 'not understanding Archadian humour'...you are correct."

"Wow," said FG, "what a fuckwit." "Two months ago, I received a call from him wanting to strike a deal, he acknowledged my inventions and theoreticals were better than his which I thought was strange. But I played the better man and allowed him in, before he concussed me and ransacked my office and took my papers away." "WHAT!?" cried Dahlia. "THAT....that HORRIBLE MAN! How DARE he!" "What are these papers about?" asked FG. "I cannot disclose the details precisely but suffice to say they are the closest thing you will ever see to an alternate form of flight, no longer relying on magic but instead by the form of electricity. Edison has essentially held them hostage and in return he demands I give him every gil of my work as a "donation" to his company. Obviously, I won't entertain his 'Archadian humour' once again so I ask you to track him down and simply take my papers back from him." The clan nodded at what sounded like a rather simple mission at first, agreeing quite amicably apart from James who had one thing puzzle him about the whole affair. He raised a hand asking: "So uh I got a question." "Yes?" "I mean, not to rain on your parade or anything but, what would be the point of having electricity in a world like this when you've got MAGIC? I mean, isn't that kind of infinitely more useful than anything else and way easier to use possibly?" "Because of such places as the Jagd, Mr. Campbell." "Um...what?" Tesla slowly began to pace to his left, slow long-legged steps that only further emphasised his immense thinness like the shadow of a leafstalk. Dahlia watched his every move with adoration like a puppy, hands constantly clasped together as he explained. "Imagine if you will, a place where airships cannot fly over, or even interact with lest the skystones that we use to power them would simply become inert from the immense force of both magicite in the soil, as well as Mist looming in the air." "Wait...those airships can't go to some places?" "Correct, those places are known as the Jagd. Those places have such high sources of concentrated magic that any magicite we use would simply not work from being purely overloaded. But what if we could build an engine, an airship that does NOT use magic? Something scientific owing to the natural elements itself to power it. Fire made from flint does not need magic nor does the boiler that is fuelled by it. Now consider the very fact that this oscillator of mine does not contain ANY magical properties whatsoever...now imagine it powering an airship." "...ohhhhhh...ohhh okay, I get it now, that's reaaaally something." "Exactly, it is most specifically concerning an airflight engine rather than say, electrical lighting but still very useful. And it is because of this, I need my research papers back, not because I forget but rather that they are not taken advantage of. And goodness knows that in Edison's hands they shall turn inferior...or worse, exploitative." "Is there not like some...magic thing you guys have to protect airships from this...Jagd?" "There IS nethicite," Dahlia added, "which is a highly unusual form of magicite that's able to absorb Mist that then nullifies its magic. But to use it in an airship would be too dangerous, far too uncontrollable!" "Why not just MAKE some sort of weaker stuff then, like I dunno shave off a few shards of it?"

Tesla laughed at his blissful ignorance, putting a hand to his forehead starkly. "Are you suggesting we MAKE nethicite, Mr. Campbell? You cannot manufacture such a thing, that's not even possible! It is only made by ancient legends, the Occuria as people say or naturally formed out of mining projects, not manufactured. Not that the idea is not laudable, to manufacture some form of weakened nethicite WOULD allow us to cross the Jagd easily. But until such a day comes in the future when one kingdom learns how to unlock such secrets, we have to resort to this." He spread his hand towards his glass-contained oscillator. "And should I be able to implement this correctly, I will be able to produce aircraft able to cross such wretched territory without difficulty." "This is an incredible discovery kupo," replied Navarro with clarity. "Where shall we find this Edison?" "He has a laboratory on the Shining Falls west of here, right up along the seacliff. He always uses that when needing to hide from some people, as well as the fact that he gave me the address of it on his ransom note." "And why have you not involved any guards in all this?" "My research is not considered noteworthy on its own to be called priceless, miss Navarro. Not by their ignorance but by the fact that on their own they are just basically worthless." "Surely there is a law against plagiarism." "Not unless Edison puts it into practice, and the man is an Archadian with an insufferably firm grasp on the concept of law. By the time I can build a case, he will have greatly formed without doubt a position of strength and dignity I could not possibly break. That is why I turn to coercion." "You wan' usszh to kill him?" asked Baldwin with arms crossing. "Oh goodness no, the man is insufferable but not worth that. Just get the papers back, it will take him some time to read them even so I am not worried in the short-term." "Why?" "I put them in a book with an enchantment on it, only I have the key for it. He knows that hence why he ransomed me and one day he will unlock it...but not in the near future." "Hah, sszhmart move!" Navarro walked forwards as Mr. Tesla offered her the ransom note with address on it for the place to meet. She understood the directions clearly and pocketed it into her satchel, replying with a handshake: "We will recover your stolen papers Mr. Tesla." "I await your return with anticipation." The scientist nodded as he stooped down even lower to shake the moogle's hand, allowing them to leave his house before they made their way west towards the seacliff. It was actually not very far from Nabudis but the path to it was rather awkward to navigate, since there were no natural roads leading to this specific location. They had to wonder after traversing it long enough how Edison even managed by himself. The path west of Nabudis skirted halfway around the lake, before taking a rather treacherously hilly descent that skirted around to the cliff area itself.

A ginormous split ravine that cracked outwards towards the sea itself, a frayed broken element of the land where water from the rivers beyond rushed forwards before spilling out into the great ocean itself. The sun captured the waterfall in such a way that it glistened pure like light itself become liquid, turning the water blindingly white that James almost thought it was scalding hot. There was not even a means by which to travel to the back of the cliffs, there only way was by navigating to the front and then up the steps cut into the rock itself. It was a long way down to the sea itself, a roaring rushing maelstrom of white that meant certain death to anyone who fell in. Luckily the steps were rather dry and high up enough to not be splashed upon by any waves. Unfortunately, there was of course the rushing waterfall due to the fact the Shining Falls themselves were literally just a split ravine, which in turn also meant they had to jump across some certain gaps when crossing from one side of the ravine to the other. Whoever had carved the stone steps was either very stupid, or the ravine split had occurred after. James was able to handle himself easily by his claws stabbing into the rockface allowing him to move along the steps with a firm grip. Baldwin and Fayne were the same despite the bishop's more manicured claws, his staff placed upon his back by means of a knot-grip woven into the back of his robes as did Dahlia do the same. Navarro was always prepared and had brought the rope necessary for such climbing as she went first ahead of them, tying each and every one of them to the length of rope just in case. Despite the good width of room for their feet, the going was still rather treacherous. "Why the hell does this guy LIVE here?!" cried out James. "Do I look like his secretary kupo!?" replied Navarro. "I'm just saying, this guy can't be some weedy-ass nerd if he can climb this damn cliff!" "Perhaps he has a secret passage that we are not privy to." "Fucking hope so...hey look there's a cave!" A small cave that had been carved into the cliffside allowed them some brief respite from the rushing falls and roaring sea, allowing them time to breathe and reassert their footing. They only had halfway to go as they ate up some meagre rations to keep their health up, along with some warming drink by means of a light brandy. The raptor however could not help but voice his own thoughts saying:

"I got the weirdest feeling about this mission by the way." "Oh?" replied the moogle. "Yeah like...like it really should not be here." "Are your nerves failing you, kupo?" "No, I just...it just feels like it's weird." "Worse than having Baldwin dress up as a maiden?" "Hey it worked, didn't it?!" cried Baldwin. "I sszhtill don't know why we had Dahlia not be the bait." "Because you would be close enough to fight them single-handed, kupo. It was the perfect choice." "I sszhupposzhe." "You cry like a maiden beautifully," replied Fayne chuckling. "Sszhut up." "Be careful brother, there might be men out there looking up the wrong robe." "WHA-I'm not sszhome molly, don't even think I am!" "Molly?" asked James. "Yeah yanno, like um...malesszh likin' other malesszh." "Hahaha ohhhh right." Navarro tightened her gaze as if warning James to be quiet, the raptor kept schtumm as he drank up his brandy. Dahlia however looked rather tired, panting ever since she had reached the cave. "Are you alright?" asked Fayne. "Y-yes...just...uuuunnnh, I am not used to climbing." "Do not worry, we are near the top." "Alright...that horrible Edison who does he think he is stealing a man's precious work like that?!" "I don't know...but-soon we will find out." "I...I'm going to tell him what sort of person he is, I'm going to-...give him the worst black mark I'll ever give!" "What?!" asked FG. "You gonna burn his face off?!" "WHA-NO! Goodness no that's awful I mean blackmark his work, ruin his reputation across the country!" "Ohhhhhh...sorry, I kinda misunderstood." "It...it's alright, I know you are not accustomed to...n-never mind." "Hhhehehe, no worries I know I'm not smart." "I-I didn't say that, oh-...dear I shouldn't have said anything!" She clasped her face tightly into her palms as the raptor rushed over trying to reassure her. "Woah woah heyyyyy no no that's not it, come on, it was just me making a mistake come on. We're gonna teach that guy some manners alright?" "A-alright...you're not...offended are you?" "Pffft naaah, takes a lot more to offend me than that come on, I brought you along for your brains after all." Dahlia smiled bashfully and grinned happily, sighing before they got up from their small break and headed further up the waterfall. The rope had enough slack for them to head across any leaps, as slowly they navigated in diagonal slanting paths upwards. Water rushed past their ears almost deafening their entire world in a haze of white and blue. The sky to the west was beyond heavenly, hinting of other worlds far across the sea as the late afternoon began to roll in. It would be sunset. The wind picked up beneath their heels rushing below the chasm.

Only twice did someone lose their footing, Dahlia almost slipped but Baldwin had grabbed her swiftly without even thinking, whilst James managed to reassert himself after some looser rock came crumbling away beneath his heels. Thankfully he recovered by a blast of wind pushing him back as his nanos sparked all of a sudden. But besides this, there was no other problem that occurred until they reached the top. A formidable-looking brick house that was the size of Tesla's, two storeys high with a waterwheel by the river and a very odd chimney of solid steel, almost pointed like the spire of a mosque. Once everyone had reached up onto solid ground they undid their ropes, Navarro placing it back in her inventory as they approached the cabin cautiously. The afternoon sun began to darken but not enough for shadows to start reaching its clawed tendrils across the far-open plain at the top of the cliff. The wind was soothing, as it brought back their breath after climbing such an arduous journey which left only Fayne and Dahlia rather spent breathing heavily. The sound of the waterfall now faded from beneath them, long behind them by the time they walked up towards the house's little region. "Fan out around the house," said Navarro, "Baldwin you take the front door, Fayne and Dahlia, take the windows kupo. James, you take the back and I will head onto the roof." "I thought Jamesszh wasszh leader here," asked Baldwin. "Just do what she says," said FG, "she's clan deputy for a reason." "Ah, hokay bossszh." Without further argument they slowly began to circle around the home curiously with all weapons at the ready. Navarro sleekly hurried to the front doorstep before leaping herself onto the roof by a burst of pure strength, grappling onto the watermill before climbing up. The two staff-wielders waited by the windows without being seen whilst James hurried himself round ducking low like a thief. Baldwin made his way up to the front door, cracked his knuckles strongly as he readied himself into a pose, bracing his muscles. Then, he knocked on the door softly with three taps of his knuckle. The wind welcomed them but no one else came to see him, and no sound came from within the house despite the churning groan of the waterwheel constantly being turned by rushing waters. They waited at least another five minutes before the monk put his hands down shrugging before turning around adding: "Huh, no one home, welp guesszh we better go back an-HOLY SSZHIT!"

With a catastrophic crushing sound behind him, a mighty monster had risen before his very eyes, indeed before all of the clan's eyes. James could not believe what he was seeing, none of them could. The house itself had suddenly began to move, inverting itself to an upright form as the top floor split into half, crumbling scraping brick simply twisting itself out of joint before standing almost sixteen feet tall. The top part which Navarro quickly jumped off from soon unveiled itself to have a face, two yellow beady eyes within a red-brick body. Hulking giant legs made from the very walls of the house suddenly crunched down onto the stiff grass crackling the ground itself, the gang all hastily backing off now separated with one towering golem between them. Its central body showed two smaller useless-looking legs pointed down beneath its torso, as well as a large furnace boiling away with great heat smouldering, pumping an almost magical quality of ash that drifted softly into the air before it. The waterwheel even more bizarrely had suddenly become its lone single arm, a monstrous whip-like weapon unfurling fully to snap with an ear-shattering crack, water sparkling off from it. "THE FUCK IS THAT?!" roared FG. "IT'S A TRAP OBVIOUSLY!" cried Navarro. "YEAH THANKS I GET THAT BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?!" "A CLAY GOLEM KUPO! CONSTRUCT GENUS, GOLEM CLASS, AN ANCIENT WAR MACHINE SUPPOSEDLY LONG ABANDONED! I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE MIMIC A HOUSE BEFORE, SOMEONE MUST HAVE MODIFIED IT!" "A HELL HOUSSZHE!" crowed Baldwin. "THAT THING'SSZH NOT MEANT TO EXISSZHT!" "WELL THEN I'LL FIX THAT!" replied FG. "FIND A WAY TO STOP IT AND DON'T GET STOMPED!" The magical mechanical beast began stomping its way across the land, creaking from inside as a hollow groan of contempt came down upon the clan hurrying away from its hammering feet the size of obelisks. Dahlia immediately ran as far away as possible whilst still keeping herself in range of anyone to heal, falling on her robe tripping up in her feet as she thudded the ground hard. James rushed over to lift her up, but the golem had moved its attention towards the two brothers keeping close to each other. Baldwin shouted out a violent blast of wind from his fists crossed together, striking across the furnace-body of the beast but barely did it stagger. The monk dodged towards the right leg currently not lifted from the cliffground and charged up his fist with fury, crying out with a vengeance as he tried to punch the solid brick. But there was not a dent, and despite his hand not throbbing from years of diligence, it only made the monster look down upon him and slowly lift its leg up for crushing. Suddenly, a light shining from the sea striked across its vision blinding it briefly with a holy blast. "BALDWIN, OVER HERE!"

Fayne roared out to his brother, his staff raised high up in the air shimmering with the light of Kiltia which, while did not hurt the golem, was enough to distract it from crushing a bangaa underfoot. The monk returned to his brother's side trying to figure out a plan, but the two were soon forced apart by a giant wooden weight come hurtling down upon their heads like a giant sword, the waterwheel spiralling outwards to slap down with a spine-bending KRAKK. Baldwin panicked and stumbled from the sudden shockwave of its barrier-breaking force turning him promptly deaf for but a moment, whilst the bishop covered his ears before the wooden length striked him across the face upwards. The power of its recoil smacked him a few feet across the land, groaning with a bloodied cheek as Baldwin rushed over to help. Fayne struggled to cover himself, mumbling a prayer of white magic to heal himself despite his head now woozy from such a forceful blow. James however thought perhaps he could burn through the rock itself, or even blast it as he summoned the power of a mimic arm cannon over his right hand, glowing bright green before a metallic covering came over it. "EAT THIS!" Firing a sudden hot blast of focused plasma straight towards its right leg, the heavy shot managing to certainly cause a crackling burn that seeped into the brick itself but the monster still stood. He cleared his head to let his power cool down before a secondary shot, wondering how best to approach this monster. But then, without warning, the golem whipped out its wooden attachment like a gigantic whip smacking James hard into his chest, knocking him down violently as if a tree branch in a storm had slammed into him. Groaning from the pain, his survival vest had managed to absorb the blow but he was well-wounded, panting as the nu-mou white mage rushed over as fast as she could to heal him. Touching a soft light mist from her staff upon his head, the raptor slowly got up as his pain washed away, panting: "Th-thanks." "H-how are we going to fight this?!" she panicked. "There's always a way, where's Navarro?!" Navarro had been hiding in the shadow of the colossus, looking for a way up as she waited for one leg to come down before leaping high onto the crack that James had made within it. The plasma had cooled and allowed enough leeway for her sword to drive into it like a climbing hook, the monster seeing such a little pest upon its body before violently starting to shake. The moogle swung back and forth latching onto her sword tightly like death, waiting for the beast's exaggerated swaggering like a tree in a hurricane to subside before grappling on and jamming her sword higher up.

Her initial target was for the eyes, trying to stab straight into its eyes and hoping that even a magical creature needed sight to see. Unfortunately, her blade simply drived into solid rock, chipping off clear quartz that glinted at her devoid of emotion. The beast shook its head to and fro with a vengeance, forcing the moogle to grab on but finding not enough grip to allow her. She almost slipped, and lost her footing before she went hurtling out into the open air. James however was ready to catch her with a powerful gust of wind, roaring: "FUS-RO-DAAAH!" The moogle spun viciously into the air like an eagle before its wings took flight, twirling gracefully high above the golem's head before she latched onto the top spire section of its head. She grabbed herself onto it, holding tightly for dear life as she saw the ground far below. But James noticed something odd about the spiretop, the way it somewhat glowed in the light before crying out to her: "NAVARRO!" "WHAT!?!" "DO YOU FEEL SOMETHING?! LIKE SOME KIND OF VIBRATION ON THAT SPIRE THINGY!?" "...I...wait...this feels like...I DO, KUPO! IT FEELS LIKE IT'S RESONATING, LIKE THAT MACHINE WHEN TESLA GREETED US!" "THAT'S IT, IT'S AN ANTENNA!" "WHAT!?" "THAT THING UP TOP, IT MUST BE AN ANTENNA, SOMEONE MUST BE CONTROLLING THIS BASTARD!" "CONTROLLING IT?! IT'S A GOLEM YOU FOOL, KUPO!" "TRUST ME, I KNOW A ROBOT WHEN I SEE ONE!" "GOLEM!" "JUST SHUT UP AND CUT ITS HEAD OPEN!" Searching for any crack in the top structure, she gripped her right hand around it for support with her sword in her left, looking all over to try and find some means of breaking the rock away. What was even more problematic was the fact the golem constantly kept moving, trying to crush her friends down below with heavy stomps and vicious whip-like cracks that boomed across the cliff, snapping sharply whilst she feverishly gripped on. Every time its head moved she would violently jerk left or right, and only after one desperate digging through a crack, she found something smooth within. "THERE'S SOME STEEL INSIDE THIS SPIRE!" "REALLY?!" cried James. "I CANNOT BREAK THROUGH IT, BUT IT'S RESONATING POWERFULLY KUPO!" "...we need to mess with it, something like a spell...WAIT, YOU STILL HAVE ONE OF THOSE LIGHTNING BOMBS!?" "YES!" "SET IT OFF INSIDE IT, NEXT TO THE METAL, IF YOU ADD MORE ELECTRICITY IT MIGHT SHORT OUT!" "ARE YOU CERTAIN?!" "HE IS!" screamed Dahlia. "YOU CAN OVERLOAD SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITH A SUDDEN BURST OF ELECTRIC CURRENT!" "ALRIGHT, KUPO!"

Navarro kept herself steady and put her sword away seeing it would be useless, as she tried to figure out how to keep the lightning bomb stuck to the antenna. Swiftly, she began to pull out her rope and swung it around the wide base before running the opposite way to grab the frayed length smacking against the rock. Tying a knot into a circle around the spiretop, she planted her lightning bomb straight into the middle of the knot to stay fast tightly against the metallic section before throwing the rest of her rope towards the ground. She waited for the golem to stop moving just long enough to pull hard on the fuse and set the bomb alight, running with ropelength along her fingers and promptly leaped from the rocky shoulder. Sliding downwards, she reached halfway down the monster's body before the bomb suddenly exploded, sending a feverish catastrophic reaction throughout its body. The antenna began turning haywire, glowing insanely fast like morse code as Navarro's ropeknot became undone by the blast. But she was low enough to the ground that her sliding down the rope saved her, as she tumbled hard forwards with a simple pull at the end of her roll forcefully to bring the entire rope back to her. Standing on her feet, she watched the golem start moving spastically, gyrating its legs and thick wooden waterwheel with a drunken gait, stumbling its way forwards as it groaned with internal error. "HAHAAAAA NICSZHE ONE!" roared Baldwin. "BIG GUY CAN'T TAKE A LI'L SSZHOCK TO THE HEAD!" "QUICK," cried Rocino, "HAVE IT COME OVER TO THE CLIFF, WE'LL BLAST IT DOWN OFF TOWARDS THE SEA KUPO!" "HEY-HEEEEEY! HEEEEEEY YOU BIG UGLY SSZHITHEAD, OVER HERE!" Goaded by the monk as well as FG and Fayne, the three males antagonised the beast to follow them as James fired off a second plasma shot, straight into its face to encourage it to attack. Suddenly it charged like a psychopathic toddler, falling over its own feet and clanking brutally across the cliff face. The raptor noticed that the ground started to crumble, shaking unevenly beneath as he realised that the sudden weight on its very edge was going to be made a rather short experience. As the three backed up towards the sea making certain how many steps back it took, they waited for the beast to come roaring down upon them with each step closer sending a deeper unsettling quake. The land began shaking under their feet enough that they almost lost balance, the two brothers hanging onto each other desperately before James grabbed at their chests and pulled them hard away from the golem's path. He didn't stop running the land started to give way from underneath, smouldering cracks of thickened dust from the earth pumping to the air as large pieces started falling towards the sea. Even if the golem had been able to stop itself, it would not have been able to return back to safe land fast enough to avoid its own watery fate. With one last groan of electrical failure, the creature began to sink beneath the cliff edge now newly made shorter as chunks of rock broke slithering down before creating a tremendous splash, swallowed by the roaring waves permanently as part of a new seabed.

James had dodged through the dust and furore, along with Fayne and Baldwin following up behind pulling each other by the hand never letting each other go until the sounds of trembling have subsided from behind them. Soon the wind had come back to them, along with the soft noise of rushing water that rose with intensity towards the waterfall. They panted with hot breaths sniggering at each other before Navarro said: "Good work, kupo." "H-huuuu...wha?" asked James breathlessly. "Your tactic on the antenna...that was good observation." "Whell...hhhh...just...know how it is, hhhhh...glad you...still had some bombs on you." "I am always prepared, kupo. You should never expect less of me." "I...never do." Neither should you, thought FG, I've broken one or two remote-controlled mechs in my time, all it takes is to fuck up the antenna. "H-how come," gasped Baldwin, "you could....sszhoot that fireball at it? You've done that before too." "Just...m-magic...let's just say it's that." "To make a...a damn arm of sszholid sszhteel?!" "S-sure...why not." "Never...a-straight reply from you," murmured Fayne cautiously. "But where is Edison?" asked Dahlia. "The address was meant to be here but all we found was a clay golem!" "Perhaps," replied Navarro, "it was simply a trap to lure Tesla here and dispose of him." "Wh-what?! H-how...that's HORRIBLE!" "But unexpected...might not even be here, my only problem is how are we going to get down now that cliff face has eroded, kupo." "There has to be another way, maybe the river leads down to someplace." "Good idea." After recovering from their fight, the clan slowly headed upwards along the river's course, the house's former plantations a depressed rectangle of where something had once stood. Yet the ground was not bare showing that the golem had only been put there not too long ago, dried deadened grass showing a clear patch in the afternoon sun. The sky was turning darker, and slowly they made their way further up into what was now a slightly hilly region, the winding river passing through between several large rocks in the land dome-shaped bu naturally jagged. Navarro however stopped and noted something, asking: "James, you mentioned that someone must have been controlling that golem by its...what did you call it, kupo?" "Antenna," replied he. "Right...why that name, it is not a bug." "Just call it that, but yeah someone must have been controlling it-" "Wait," said Dahlia, "as in...remotely controlling it?" "...yeah, how did you-" "That was one of Tesla's ideas, remote-controlled automatons! H-he had this idea, with a little wooden boat that he controlled with this little electric box and he claimed it wasn't ANY sort of magic whatsoever!" "How can that be?" asked Fayne. "There be no other element other than magic to control the inanimate." "Not until now...Edison must have used Mr. Tesla's ideas to control that golem." "But he cannot open the book!" "No, this invention was earlier, a few years ago actually in his Electrical Revue on the concept of controlling machines without steam or magic, but by pure electricity. Edison must have read up on it, I have the revue right here I took it with me when we went to see Mr. Tesla! ...I...was hoping he would sign it for me." She blushed softly with a foot rubbing in the dirt, but Baldwin was more awestruck at the possibility asking: "How could he control a golem when it itsszhelf isszh a magic creature?!" "It follows only a single command," said Navarro, "they are given one mission even long after the owner dies, to destroy all it sees kupo. This Edison must have found some way to manipulate its body through this remote control, maybe by only maneuvering its limbs through this means like a puppet made of brick." "Possibly," said Dahlia, "by an alternating current sent through its limbs via the correct impulses sent by the remote control! It only takes one shock placed correctly to make an arm twitch, I remember black mages using controlled points of Thunder to disarm people because the muscles spasm from being electrocuted." "Ahhh yes." Okay how the fuck is this science talk even MORE complicated, thought FG, jesus christ was this how it was when people first discovered electricity back in MY world?! I went to a galaxy where people went between planets in a week and nowhere near did they talk this much about it, is it really that amazing to them?! I better say something or else we'll be here all night. "If he was able to control that thing then that means he must be near us to control it!" "How?" asked Navarro. "Remotes always got a signal range, he has to stay in the area or else the signal gets too weak, then he can't control it." "How do you know that?!" squawked the nu-mou. "Have you read his work too?!" "Iiiiii...yeaaaah I've read some of it, whilst waiting in some places, it all comes in bits and pieces." "Oh, how wonderful! So, do you remember what this...range of signal was?" "Not a clue, sorry." "In any case," said Navarro, "there must be a secret hideout somewhere that this Edison must be hiding, kupo. I advise that within this region we might find this place, so keep your eye out an-" "FOUND IT!"

Baldwin pointed over towards one particular smooth-shaped rock to the left side of the river, strutting himself over towards it before grabbing one side of its stony front and tearing it away revealing something underneath. The inside was hollow on the other side of a window, showing sleeping quarters and a small-stocked laboratory as well as one rather indignant stiff-lipped hume sitting at a chair, with shockingly smooth white hair and fine jacket. In his hands was a large black box the size of three bricks with various little switches and dials whilst sitting at a desk in front of them. "AAAAHA!" cried the monk. "WHA-WHO IN BLAZES ARE YOU!?" cried the hume. "Mr. Edisszhon I presszhume?" "How do you know who I am?! Get out of here, all of you, you're interfering with my experiment!" "You mean Mr. Tesla's," said FG. "Nice fake curtain over the rock by the way." "Classzhic trick even back at Lea Monde," replied Baldwin. The man, Edison, scrutinised the group before them and put his box to the side asking firmly: "...how do you know Mr. Tesla?" "We were hired," said Navarro, "to retrieve something stolen from him, kupo. Your ransom note lead us here." "Wha-...stolen!? This is outrageous, what have I stolen exactly, what ransom note?!" "Research papers. In a book protected by an enchantment at which you have no hope of opening." "That is preposterous, you have been lead astray by that damned madman and now you are trespassing in my laboratory." "We are not even inside your stupid rock, kupo." "This FIELD is my laboratory." "So does that make us your experiment?" replied FG. "I mean, I dunno about you but you seen that huge-ass golem back there? I didn't sign up for this." "What the-...my guardian!? What have you done to it?!" "Sent it to the sea down below after it nearly stomped us to death." "YOU LITTLE-...DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST?!" "Not a lot surely," said Dahlia matter-of-fact, "considering it was made of brick clay." "And it might not have even been yours," added Navarro, "perhaps you found it like all the other clay golems wandering this land." "A prototype like that costs FAR MORE than you could ever make," defended the inventor, "you dull-headed shiftless-wait...how did you...I thought this damn thing wasn't working but you actually DESTROYED it?! How did you even do that?!" "All it took was a little lightning to the antenna." "And that's a flaw Mr. Tesla may have overlooked," continued Dahlia, "considering you STOLE Mr. Tesla's papers!" "And what proof do you have of this?!" replied the scientist. "You come to my research area, you admit to destroying my experiment-" "Which tried to kill us," added James. "A chance to finally be able to control magically-empowered golems safely, without blind obedience, without following one SINGLE order but by actual guidance from a living hand at its controls!" "To try and kill us with." "It's not my fault that it assumed you to be intruders trying to come get me, and clearly it was right to do so the way I see you all lined up like the accused before me." "Considering you sent this ransom note to Mr. Tesla to EXPLICITLY have him come here and lead him right to your big-ass golem, you should watch who you call accused, mister." "You accuse me of plagiarism and attempted murder then prove it! PROVE IT TO ME!" "Where is your research?" asked Navarro. "Hmm?!" "Your research papers on the subject."

The man smirked and pulled from his drawer one research paper in question. James noticed the incredibly archaic diagrams of remote-control, something that resembled more of an alchemist's notebook with chemical equations, rods and sheeting, something very basic compared to what he had seen in textbooks from a certain wasteland far away. He could make out , whilst Dahlia brought out from her satchel a publication. Flicking the pages through, she showed her friends the precise same diagram to which Edison replied: "I see that hack Tesla copied my work, again." "No," said Dahlia, "you STOLE his work, this publication was printed two years ago!" "And when did I write mine? Do YOU know? You have no proof, if you're going to be fooled by some two-bit Rozarrian then-" "Your handwriting," said Navarro. "What?" "Your handwriting, on your paper, it matches the ransom note to Mr. Tesla, kupo." "What the-no it doesn't!" "You dip your T in a certain manner at the middle, your A's curves off in a slight backwards flourish as does your B's in a hooked fashion, and for some reason you always write O's in the uppercase." She let that sink in for a moment as everybody looked at her somewhat stunned. "Would you like me to run through your entire handwriting kupo? Or would you like me to break into your laboratory, ransack your publications and compare them fully before the judges of Archadia to explain why you ransomed him?" "Hmhmhmhm...do you know how much power I wield in Archadia? Do you really think that if you brought any case like this down to the judges you would even stand a chance?" "Maybe. Maybe not. Or we could just do the latter right now, we only require the book that which you took, nothing else kupo." "And how do you possibly think you're going to be able to get inside my little bunker?" "Baldwin." Walking in front of the window, the monk cracked his knuckles with a crick of the neck as he readied himself. "You might want to sszhtand back, or elsszhe get sszhome glasszh in the eye." "Wh-what are you-" "I warned you." Edison snarled and decided to just run for it, but Baldwin was on the case as he aimed for a specific spot, roaring with battle cry as his fist punched straight into the shielded glass with a violent crack. Somehow, by either force of physics or pure holy strength, the window shattered violently across the floor and desk allowing everyone to jump in and suddenly grab Edison before he made his escape. With both raptor and monk grabbing him by the arms, the hume dropped a book he had just grabbed from underneath his bed before Navarro picked it up. "U-UNHAND ME YOU WORTHLESS IDIOTS!" "Interesting...a book of research bound with enchantment, kupo." "THAT IS MINE, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT YOU THIEVING SHINKICKER!" "Quiet. We will release you, if you can prove one thing." "AND WHAT IS THAT?!" "...open this book for me."

She smirked slightly upon the edge of her lips which James had almost never seen, but knew it was confidence beaming through. He snatched it from her hand as they backed off slowly covering off all exits waiting for him to open the book. It was a gorgeous-looking cover, solid black with golden spheres ornately indented into the leatherwork as he slowly tried to pry it open. There was no lock, but clearly it took a great effort as he groaned and forced his hands against it feverishly, wrestling with the book hard enough to tousle his hair before throwing it to the ground. "FINE! FINE I CANNOT OPEN IT, ARE YOU HAPPY?! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW YOU FILTHY DOGS?!" "Yes, we are kupo. And you are grateful to us for not killing you for your grievous machine and its attempts to crush us, nor will we mention your thievery of this research." The moogle picked up the tome and dusted it off carefully before giving it over to Dahlia for safekeeping. The enchantment had kept its contents well-preserved enough as the hume straightened his clothes stiffly before saying: "And so you ran back to your sore loser of a tinkerer." "Seriously?" said FG. "You know even the guy you stole from said good things about you and the stuff that you made." "Hmph, at least he acknowledges." "But you sound more like the person who can't be bothered to think stuff so you just go and steal from everybody else just so you make a profit without hassle." "Everyone steals in commerce and industry boy, I've stolen a lot myself. But I know how to steal! They don't know how to steal, that's how business works!" "Yeah well, you sound like a shitlord so we're just taking this back to its rightful owner and you can stay here and try to build something yourself." "You ever see that Rozarrian again then you tell him! Tell him that for this injustice I will make DAMN CERTAIN that he will never see a penny earned in Archadia, you just watch me! I know what is best for the world, I give the people what they NEED!" Slowly making their way back out of the broken window, they left behind one very furious inventor. But the nu-mou started to feel somewhat uncertain for the lengths they had to go to and said lastly before leaving: "For the record, Mr. Edison, I do not believe you are a terrible inventor." "Hmm?!" "I have read your work, you have some very fascinating ideas, and your alternating current theory on electrical lighting for houses as an alternate means to magic...was very enlightening." "...hm. Glad someone appreciates my work." "But you are however a thief, and a smear artist, and nothing will ever change that. So I bid you, good day." With that final twist of wording she left with her group as they made their way along the river upwards, past the hill region and having to traverse through a rather awkward mountain range. It was, as they found out shortly, the long path around the cliffs and even though it was technically less dangerous, it was nevertheless even more arduous by length. Tall inspiring sunset-kissed peaks glowed orange as shadows overswept across their vision, keeping their heads low and navigating their way around as best they could between the jagged amber ranges.

It took them twice as long to pass through the mountain range as it did to climb the waterfall's Shining Cliffs and by the time they had been able to escape it, it was soon night and they were forced to make camp before heading back towards Nabudis. Everyone had packed tents with them as part of standard traveller's fare, James and Dahlia slept in one tent, with Navarro on her own and the bangaa brothers in their tent sharing. All they were concerned about was to finish the mission, the absurd battle and wandering trek through the ridges having taken a lot more out of them than they expected. Dahlia did not sleep for quite a bit, reading over her textbook of what James assumed was the infamous Electrical Revue which still puzzled him immensely. Much as he understood that a world able to command natural elements through magical comprehension was going to be rather spotty in its technological advances, he could not help but voice his thoughts aloud. "How did he even control a magic golem?" "Hmm?" "I mean...that thing was magic right? How did he...move it like that?" "Oh," said Dahlia, "goodness I mean there's a whole section in Mr. Tesla's revue that explains it all nicely, firstly you get a cylinder made of a rolled copper sheet, which houses a single iron rod then you fill it with-" "But...sorry just, I kinda don't get this, you got these ideas but you got all this magic which kinda makes it um...not worth it really to try and experiment with." "Well like Mr. Tesla said, in places such as the Jagd where magic cannot be relied upon, we have to find alternate means. And then you have places where anti-magic fields are specifically placed for whatever reason...but this is all just theoretical, none of it is actually put into practice because of materials we do not have, or costs being too expensive, or governments refusing to employ it due to various um...reasons." "That golem wasn't theoretical." "Well, I mean there are small experiments like that golem we fought but...nothing actually put to public use, nobody in the public has electrical devices, this is all stuff in laboratories, this might never even see the light of DAY as nothing more than just theories. Again, magic is just so much easier for some people so...I worry we might not ever see such things come to light." "Ahhhh...right, so you got all this tech people WANNA use but they're all like 'what no we got magic what's the point of this it's stupid', right?" "Exactly! But they're so shortsighted, I mean, magic is wonderful and makes everything work but clearly there are places it DOESN'T work, so why not allow it?!" "I guess it costs too much money to only use tech for a specific place...ehhh, I'm tired, I'm just gonna sleep." "Hehee, alright then, goodnight James." "Night Dahlia." I still can't believe a world like this is just discovering this shit, thought James to himself. I mean...do they even HAVE all the technology for it, I mean this stuff they have is pretty old and they still use swords and shit...then again they also have guns and airships but airships are magic so...do they even know how to make batteries for this? I mean I guess this is what happens when people get to use all kinds of elements, they just start making weird shit. All this complicated bullshit just because they can't make ships fly over certain points, goddamn, necessity really is the mother of invention. He closed his eyes in mid-thought without a word more as he drifted into sleep, the night dreamless for him until morning broke when they repacked their tents before making their way out of the mountain pass. Half a day later, with morning passing in a baking-hot day bearing down on them, they returned at last to Mr. Tesla to give back his work and he gladly paid them their agreed amount. Navarro was relieved, moreso just to have the money in her hands than anything else. Everyone else was just thankful it was over.

Heading back to Nalbina with their hard-earned cash, the clan divvied up their money as James went to the market looking for some particular new armour to upgrade himself with. Since they had made such a hefty generous profit from the inventor's gratitude, as well as Dahlia getting her book signed by him, they also decided to enjoy a little of the culture and excitement of Ivalice. Whilst the mages' fair had since long gone, there was still entertainment in the form of travelling troupes, ribald puppet shows and even the theatre, which James admitted to not being so keen on as rather too fanciful until his friends convinced him. Since there was very little to do inbetween waiting for missions, they had all the time in the world as James became an audience to several different plays, all of them dressing down to more casual wear for their days out with their armaments kept safe back in their rooms. Romance such as "I Want To Be Your Canary" of dawnstruck tragedy, adventures such as "The Mystic Quest" which while simple were fantastically imaginative in design, and even comedies such as "The Shadow King" which much to James' surprise, was one of the funniest incredible things he had ever witnessed, to the point that him and Baldwin struggled to hold each other's shoulders laughing out of the theatre as they walked together. "H-H-HOLY SHIT THAT WAS BRILLIANT!" cried James. "TH-THAT..." gasped Baldwin, "WHEN HE WASSZH ALL LIKE 'I have retrieved your hat from the sszhtately tree now BOW DOWN TO ME WORTHLESSZH SSZHLAVE' an' then sszhe sszhaid-" "'Oh thank you so much, what a lovely shadow you are' and he's like 'NOOOOOO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FEAR MEEEE', khhhhehehehehhaahhaha!" "Ohhhhh...that...I've wanted to sszhee that play for agesszh, finally I got to witnesszh it!" "Really? I never thought I'd like theatre, it always seemed too yanno, highbrow." "Highbrow?! It'sszh not highbrow, that sszhtuff anyone can get into!" "Huh?" "Now you want highbrow and boring you wanna go to the palladium, ugh...'witty' commentary on sshocszhial masszheszh, no thank you." "I just thought all theatre was the same," said FG, "yanno, Shakespearean stuff." "What is Shakespearean?" asked Navarro. "It's...Sarah told me this once, it's kinda like these plays that are really old and just really REALLY high-class stuff, like that canary play." "That was hardly high-class kupo. A tragic romance can last for the ages but the language they used was most certainly not for the highbrow." "Seriously? What does highbrow theatre sound like?" "Petulant," said Fayne, "petulant and tittering with a handkerchief over the lip." "...I don't even know what that means." "Indeed." "I loved it," said Dahlia, "the acting for that Stan fellow was amazing, he moved so gracefully! Like a ballet dancer!" "Agreed!"

The five soon stopped at a drinking stall next to the theatre, Baldwin paying up this time as part of the who-pays-next-time rule they employed out of fairness to each other, and also to encourage generosity between them. James was back in his bare chest and jeans whilst Navarro wore a plain cloth shirt with yellow feathers patterning it. Baldwin had his arms now bare of boxer-like padding but Fayne still kept his hat and staff on him at all times whilst Dahlia kept her robe, but her staff was back at the base. They sat in the calm late afternoon at a table outside as people milled out of the theatre, laughing to themselves or discussing various things, with Dahlia turning over towards Navarro asking: "Did you like the play Navarro?" "The humour was well-written," said the moogle. "But, you didn't laugh at any of it." "I can appreciate humour without cackling like a hyena, kupo." "Are you serious?" said FG. "You barely ever smile." "I do inner smiling, people do not call you reliable if you're grinning like a simpleton always." He noticed her eyes look towards Baldwin briefly who did not notice, sighing from a good gulp of his drink before adding: "Well I am having a great time, I've been waiting for monthsszh to sszhee that play and it wasszh worth it." "An interesting cast," said Navarro, "though I noted that the person who played Stan gestured far more with one hand than the other kupo." "What do you mean?" "Most people who gesture use both hands, but his left one hardly ever moved, almost as if it was prosthetic or deadened." "Maybe he hurt hisszh hand." "I found it odd." "You notice stuff way too well," replied James, "I mean first that Edison's handwriting and now you look at some guy's hand in a play, what's up with that?" "I study body language," said Rocino, "it was a skill I learnt at knight academy." "Seriously?! That's pretty awesome." "It is not a party trick, kupo. It is a serious skill I use to be able to detect which way my foe's blade shall move, the muscles of a living being can betray a lot of things." "And what if they have armour?" replied Fayne curiously. "A hand must still twist. I do not need to see the whole key itself to know I have turned it in the lock, kupo." "...aaaaaah...hmhmhmhm, very droll!" "Yes. Good." "So what can you tell about me?" said FG. "Come on, let's see what you got." "It is NOT a party trick." "Hey you wanted to tell people that some guy's hand in a play wasn't working right or a fake or whatever, if you're gonna flaunt that-" "I was not flaunting I was merely extrapolating!" "Well?" He spread his arms as if goading her to come at him smiling as she put her drink down before studying the raptor's face, who stood still as could be allowing her to read through his various tics. It only took her a couple of minutes to compile a small checklist of things to mention, looking first at his face before briefly glancing down at his stomach with all she needed.

"Your nerves are rather weak, there is stress around your eyes owing to possible sleepless nights in the recent past but the extra pressure on your scales belie either a greater age than you have said...or your mental disposition was extrenuously tested, kupo." "Alright, fair enough." "You are also well-experienced as a swordsman, which was why I was not so reluctant to have you accompany me in the first place after seeing your well-used hands and larger arm muscle accustomed to holding weaponry." "Sure didn't felt like it," mumbled FG. "You also have never worn shoes, your feet are far too hard and calloused even for a bangaa-like, kupo." "Yep, that's true." "Lastly, you have broken your left arm previously." "...why you say that?" "You hold it rather oddly compared to your right, also the discolouration indicates not of bruising but of poor blood circulation that can come from say, broken arm. The skin grew rather oddly on it too so I can scarcely imagine the intensity of what accident had caused it, but I can surmise it was a terrible fire of some sort to require such intense regrowth. But it was at least a year ago." Everyone was gobsmacked, staring at their deputy with a look of both nervous apprehension and genuine intrigue, the raptor chuckling with: "Daaaaamn, you're good." "You have also at least once starved yourself to the point of malnutrition." "...wh-...h-how did you-" "The marks on your stomach, kupo. I noticed the perforation of scales from when your stomach distended fully with emaciation before fully regaining health...which must have been at least a year ago. Your teeth are also mottled, the enamel wears thin from lack of nutrients along with your pale eyes masked by other conditions, kupo." "...okay you're really scaring me now." "Good." She grinned cruelly with her eyes shining. "That is the point, kupo." "Heeeey sszhe can sszhmile!" said Baldwin pointedly. "Do you want to be next?" "Sszhure, sszhcan me bosszh!" "W-w-wait," said Dahlia, "wh-what happened James, did something terrible happen?! Is what she says true?" "Yeah...it's true, and if that's okay by you I'd rather not go into what happened." "O-oh...I understand, forgive me." "It's alright, okay let's see what monk boy's got for you." Navarro looked at Baldwin scrutinising his every scale, seeing little flecks of various indicators she could use before saying: "A common drinker but not alcoholic, kupo. Your eyes are sharp enough to not be dulled by drink with the usual haggardness which, had I seen your eyes on first meeting I would not have asked if you were an alcoholic or not." "HAH!" mocked Fayne. "Your fists are well-calloused and rigid showing martial arts for at least a good thirty years." "Wait," asked James, "thirty? How old are you Baldwin?" "Why don't we asszhk her?" Baldwin dared her as Navarro looked once again with another sip of her drink, before replying: "...older than fifty but not over seventy. You are older than your brother though you may not act like it." "Well he'sszh a sszhtiff prick sszho-" "Disciplined more than you," replied Fayne easily. "Woah woah woah," asked FG, "fifty to seventy? Come on that's not right he looks my age." "How old are you?" "Thirty-two almost?" "Hahahah...Baldwin?" "Sszhixty-sszheven." "...wha...are you serious?!" "Yep, sszhe nailed it." "By a large margin," said Navarro, "it's difficult to tell age in some people, kupo. The last thing I can ascertain from you is that you suffered a head trauma as a child." "Wait, what?" "You have a groove on your forehead, one too deep and imprinted to be recent, something from many years back." "...sszhit. You're good." "Wh-what about me?!" asked Fayne hastily. "Enlighten me on your reading, prithee!" "I am not doing everyone of you," replied the moogle. "I am your deputy, not your performing monkey." "I have nothing but the...utmost-respect for you madame Navarro, I am merely intrigued from one academia to another on your prevalent...skill." "Very well."

The people moved back and forth in the distance as they ordered another round of drinks, the hot afternoon giving them a rather parched sensation as they listened to the hustle and bustle drain out from their hearing. Dahlia undid her robe showing her yellow summer dress underneath, the raptor smirking at such a cute thing she wore Fayne kept his mitre on to help with the shade it gave him, Navarro glancing through his facial features. "You are younger than your brother, by at least ten years." "Eight," replied Fayne. "You almost never remove your hat, the shading of your facial scales differs from that of your wrist meaning it gets less sunlight than the exposed hands, kupo. You are also very dexterous, the way your fingers move show no sluggishness but the way you rub your fingers together with soft indentations of a corner-groove indicates you are a very frequent card player." "...wha-how-...but I never even held a card in the time I have known you!" "Really? Yesterday you returned with an extra sack of gil, I heard the clinking in your pocket despite how tightly you tied up the bag, kupo. In fact, in the three months we have known each other, you always have an extra amount of gil the same day, every week. I am going to make the best assumption that you are not being bribed, especially when I know that there is a card tournament every seventh day in the bar you most frequent, the Seventh Heaven as part of their promotional deal. You are a card shark, and very good at it with no apparent losses." The bishop gently flexed his fingers nervously, bashful about his secret being found out as he stuttered from his lips. "W-w-well...I...I am not...a-swindler if that'sszh what you...worry about." "Not unless you bring an ill repute to our clan, kupo." "I would NEVER! You are correct that I am...well-versed in Triple Triad but I am not a cheat, I play fairly and never deal more than the five in my hand, and even then I never rob an entire player'sszh money-...nngh." "He'sszh right," said Baldwin, "I go with him to barsszh an' clubsszh an' he never takesszh all the money, jusszht at leasszht half becausszhe he alwaysszh sszhayszh 'I am a player, not a robber good sszhir'." "Thank you Baldwin." The two smiled at each other as Navarro nodded with understanding. "Whatever you do in your own time does not concern me, all I ask is that you do not act poorly so as to bring repute towards our clan." "You have my word, Navarro." "I didn't know you were a gambler," asked FG. "I thought that kind of thing wasn't allowed in your church." "I am not a gambler, not in the way you may think. I would...explain how my cardplaying works-but it would involve a long tale." "Heh, alright, just it seems kinda weird that you play cards and your brother drinks, I thought you being all holy you would not be allowed to do that." "Everything in moderasszhion," said Baldwin, "that isszh the key." "Seriously? You're telling ME this? You?" "What? I only get drunk truly onsszhe every three monthsszh, call it enduransszhe training, every other time I take care of mysszhelf, alcohol isszh good for you if you don't go over on it!" "Heh, yeah sure, that's admittedly one thing I've NEVER heard someone say when I used to run bar." "You worked in a bar?" asked Fayne. "Oh yeah, three different bars, one served coffee, the other two alcohol. Also worked as a private bartender for a group on their ship." "A bar on a sszhip!?" cried Baldwin. "Ohohoho fansszhy! Now THAT isszh highbrow right there." "PffftHAH! Trust me, these guys were NOT highbrow, they were musicians." "Goodness," said Dahlia, "that sounds like an adventure." "Heh...it was. Hey, um, you want Navarro to read you next?" "OH, n-no thanks I'm-...I'm sure she must be tired of it already." "I am," said the moogle, "thank you kupo. Now, shall we head back?" "Yes please, I would like to be out of the sun for a little and lie down...it's lovely to have such a cool room to return to back at the homebase." "Agreed." With a smirk on most of their faces they headed back to homebase out of the sheer wondrous sun's heat that turned the cobbled streets to hot gold and silver colours. The next task they would receive would take them to a faraway place, and a much bigger adventure would await at least one of them.