FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Blinding white. That was all he saw. But if felt like something too. It was white, but it seemed to stretch on, for as far as one could see. But it was filled, packed to the brim. It felt crowded. But his eyes told him that he was encompassed by nothing. Nothing but white. He moved his foot and felt purchase on solid ground, but when he looked, and listened, there was nothing. No sound, and no ground.

He would have liked to say that he was afraid. Actually, he was. But he didn't know where he was. He didn't even remember when or how he got here. In the silence of this white void, he summoned up the courage, or rather, the fear, to say something. The words graced his lips, as they formed the sounds, but the voice that came out was not his own.

"Hello."

He stumbled backwards, falling over, as he scrambled to move himself away from the figure that materialized before him. It stood out amongst the white, as it was made of darkness. And it was blurred. But it looked like a person. He just couldn't tell who. The figure stood, and simply watched.

"I know you are afraid. Everything is. But you can't escape it. There's no running away from this place."

The figure, and by extension, its voice, was unrecognizable. He couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman. He sat on the floor, that white, flat resistance that held him still but yet managed to extend for infinity, looking at the figure before him. Finally, he started to calm down. Thoughts formed words, and words formed on his mouth, but once more, the voice that came out wasn't his.

"Where am I?"

Answering for him, the voice spoke.

"You are in a state of limbo. You are neither here, nor there."

He wanted to speak again, tried, but stopped when the words formed and came out, in the voice of the other. He shook his head, standing up, he surged towards the figure, angry.

"Stop it! Just stop this. Stop saying my words for me! Stop this joke!"

The figure held its arms down out front, and remained quiet. He stood, facing the blurred person, realizing his mistake.

"Thank you. I'm sorry, about that. You just, you don't need to do that."

_ _

The figure spoke once more.

"There is no need to blame yourself, nor feel sorry. All who come here will act based on who they are. But it changes nothing."

As he faced the figure, he began walking absent mindedly around it.

"You said limbo. I don't understand."

As he looked at the figure, the blurred shadows seemed to emulate a face. He felt like this person was sad. Mournful? Apologetic? No. Sympathetic.

"The paramedics are working on you. They are trying their best to keep you alive on route to the hospital. But you are, critically injured. Right now, you are, by all intents and purposes, dead. But there is something holding on."

The words destroyed him. And he knew that this was the only truth. They stung him, as he realized, this was it. He dropped to the ground, falling to his knees, begging.

"This is it? You? You're......"

"I am the oncoming vehicle traveling too fast. The one in a million lightning strike. The predator, hunting prey to survive. Your people have always talked of me, imagined me, known me, as Death."

"You're here to take me then?"

"Possibly."

"What do you mean?"

"While your injuries are nearly fatal, there is a chance you will survive beyond this. I am here, to grant company, and await your fate, whatever it may be."

He looked up, to the blurred figure, as it simply stood, watching him.

"You're responsible, for me being like this then? You said you were the predator."

"No. I am merely what comes after death. But, in some sense, I am the bridge for souls to travel. I find them, and guide them on their journey. Some, are stronger than others, and despite my best efforts, they escape, and quickly become lost. Trapped between the fissures of reality. Your kind call them ghosts. But I know you. I see you. You will not wander far."

Normally, on any other day, he would have thought all this was a cruel joke. But there was a gravity to the words. They were true. Rather than fight, resist and beg, he asked another question.

"So, you're like a guide. But why a journey? Where am I going?"

"Your fate remains to be seen. But, if you should die, you will go where everything else does. Beyond."

"Beyond what?"

"Everything."

He shifted on the ground, uncomfortably.

"That doesn't answer much you know."

"It says a great deal more than you realize right now. In order to understand, you will have to take the journey to its end yourself."

He felt something, something in the air around him, and looked down. He was sitting on a bench. He looked up, as the veiled, blurred figure stood and watched.

"The material world is something many cling to. Its comfort and familiarity bring peace of mind here. We can go elsewhere, if you please. We will be here for some time."

He didn't know why he was so comfortable. He felt so tranquil, just talking. But before he could even utter anything he woke up in a diner. Sitting in a red chair, across the table from him sat the blurred figure. He reached forwards, out of habit, and grabbed the coffee cup, drinking as he looked out the window to the traffic outside. He looked over at the figure, content and relaxed.

"You said everything comes here right? What about you, whatever you are?"

"All will pass through here in time. Eventually, there will come a day when I am the last. I will make the last journey, and then there will be nothing left."

He set his coffee down, smiling.

"So will you have your own "Death" to escort you?"

He could never see a face. But looking at the figure, he knew it was smiling.

"No. But I will go, knowing that my destination will be the same. Fear, or worry, will be absent."

"So you're the one to turn off the lights? The janitor? How much do you get paid? How long have you being doing this anyway?"

The figure "smiled" once more.

"Since it all began."

He took another drink of his coffee. By reflex, he ordered his usual when the waitress came up, and then returned to things.

"That's dedication. I think I was dedicated, to my job I mean. Speaking of, why can't I remember anything?"

"The calmer things are, the easier it is to adjust. Your memories are all still there. But they are background noise. You just ordered you favorite dish."

"I did?"

The figure nodded.

"Huh. Go figure."

He looked out the window, watching the traffic travel buy, as the leaves blew on the wind and rain.

"So, what's all this? Is this real?"

"In a way, it is. A snapshot through time, a window that can be opened. A door that can go anywhere."

"You can do that?"

The figure "smiled" once more.

"Perks of being the janitor."

He chuckled.

"I didn't think you'd have a sense of humor."

"Life as you know it, is full of surprises. Would it not be fair to assume that death is the same?"

He laughed, nearly choking on his coffee.

"I'll have to remember that for next time. That's a good one."

The waitress came over, delivering his order. He looked down at it, smelled it, and realized that this was his usual. Simple, but this place always did have good food. He took a fry slathered in gravy, eating it.

"Good lord I forgot how good this was."

He pushed his plate over.

"You want to try? It's good, no bullshit."

The figure reached out, taking a single fry along with it. He smiled.

"You're not as bad as I'd thought you'd be. All those grim reapers with scythes don't do you justice."

The figure chuckled, that voice, blending in perfectly between a man and a woman's, rung out.

"I can do that, if you'd like. A long time ago, there was a woman, who still found her wits very much alive. She asked me to take that form, to wake her up to things. Your kind are strange, in amusing ways."

He smiled.

"Okay. Grim Reaper. Right here, right now."

He had to blink twice as the blurred figure was gone. Sitting across from him, was a figure clad in dark ragged robes. From under its hood he could see the skull that peered out to the world beyond. And there, at its side, standing all the way up to the ceiling, was a scythe, clutched in its bony hand. He couldn't help but laugh.

"That's incredible! You ever show up for parties like that? You should, you know. Show up as a clown or something."

Even with a visage so frightening or dread inspiring, he worked his way through his meal, bit by bit. He looked up to the reaper once more.

"Any other tricks you can do?"

"Anyone you want. A doctor. Soldier. Your mother or father. Childhood friend. Pet."

He nodded, thinking.

"President."

And there, before him sat the president. He reached out his hand.

"Give me five. I've gotta tell this one to everybody."

The president reached out, and gave him a high five. He laughed.

"Okay, okay. Can you do me?"

Sure enough, across from him, sat himself. He looked over everything, in awe and fascination.

"Can you do my father?"

Once more, there he was. He set his mug down, looking at the man's features. And he remembered. It had been so long since he'd seen him alive. Years, decades. Before he could say anything he found himself upset. Tears came easy, and the figure snapped back to one of shadows and blurs. He reached out to some napkins, wiping his eyes.

"God, I'm sorry. That was stupid of me. He, I mean you, you looked just like him."

The figure nodded.

"I met him you know. He will be there, when the time comes."

He finished his coffee, scrunching his fist up in front of his mouth.

"Does it hurt?"

"Reaching the end of your journey, is like waking up on a good morning. Everything is laid out before you, and suddenly, you know."

"Why can't you take me now?"

"As close as you are, your body is resilient. It clings strongly to what you will be losing. Perhaps you are not ready to leave things behind just yet, no?"

The figure stood up.

"Do you wish to go for a walk?"

He looked up, and before he could say yes, he was walking alongside the figure. Through a park. The rain was still coming down, lightly, and the autumn colours showed on the trees. He stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Any reason why this is taking so long? I mean, if I'm in such a bad way, shouldn't I have kicked the bucket a while back?"

"Time works differently here. It flows both ways. Our time here is both mere seconds and minutes, yet all the same, we have been here for millennia."

He stopped, and so too did the shaded figure. It waited until he spoke.

"Can you, make yourself something else please? I feel out of place walking alongside a smeared shadow."

The figure nodded.

"Picture what you want to see, and it will be so."

He looked over at the figure, through the blurred shadows and imagined something. And there it was. Before him stood someone. She raised her skeleton hand, devoid of skin or anything up to her pale face, smiling. The voice that returned was no clearly recognizable. A woman.

"Interesting. How your kind is so imaginative."

He shrugged.

"Sorry. I just wanted something a little more human. But enough to remind me that you're not."

It had worked. The woman was clad in a dark dress, a black hood pulled up over her head. But staring at her pale face was something interesting. Black lipstick on pale white skin, and jet black eyes like the void stared out at him. Her hands were nothing but bone from the elbows down, and as her dress billowed farther and farther down, it took on the quality of shadows, twisting behind her in long spiraling trails. It was comforting to him, to see a vaguely human face. But different enough to remind him of just what he was dealing with. He smiled.

"Thank you. I have to say, I never expected you to be so, sympathetic."

The woman's features changed on her face, visible to him now. A warm smile.

"What you know as death, is not inherently bad. It is not evil. But welcoming. In the end, it will claim all. It will welcome all with open arms."

He started walking forward now, as did the woman. He watched the great trees sway gently in the wind as the rain pattered down softly.

"So, you're here because you're waiting right? If I die, you'll be here to take me off to wherever it is I'm supposed to go?"

"That is correct."

"I can't be the only one here then. There's a lot of people, uh, down there, or up there, wherever here is."

"More than you could ever count or know."

"And you're with all of them right now?"

"Yes."

He chuckled.

"Jeez. You must have seen it all by now."

The woman smiled.

"Indeed. But, life is full of surprises."

He couldn't help but laugh as he walked alongside the woman.

"How are you so, well, cheerful? You have all these people, good or bad, all asking, or whining, crying, and everything else. All those voices. And you've been around since, well, basically forever right?"

The woman nodded.

"A good question. I just am. Despite seeing all of what life has to offer, everyone is different. Everybody, and everything, is unique in some way. I live to see it all. But I don't think I ever will. I can always try though."

"So, you're basically a tour guide. A janitor who turns out the lights. And you like people. And things."

He held out his hands to the trees and world around him.

"And you can do all this. And yet, the way you put it, you're just a doorman. Sorry, woman. Sorry, it. Thing. Person."

The woman smiled, showing off her white teeth in a gesture of happiness as she laughed.

"I am not so much a person, as I am a force. An experience. And, with the higher forces above me, so too can be said of them. So, you are right, in a way. I am a doorman. I am a woman. An it. A thing. A person. Just like you, with less boundaries and restrictions."

He nodded quietly.

"It sounds huge. How can you make sense of it all?"

"How do you make sense of your life?"

That caught him off guard. He wanted to say something, but the woman, interrupted.

"Would you like to know what's happening?"

He nodded.

"You're at the hospital now. The doctors chatter of how you still live. They are, confused. Some believe you to be lucky. Some can't quite make sense of what to do. But they are attempting to make things right."

Something hit him. He realized it, as she spoke.

"Wait a minute. Hold on. If I'm so messed up, what will happen when I come back?"

"If you return, your recovery will be long, and hard. It will be a road not easily traveled."

"What if I don't want to go back? What if I like it here?"

The woman turned her head, and looked straight into his eyes, with the voids of hers.

"Do not be so quick to throw away what you have. Your body clings to life stubbornly."

"Well, can't you change that?"

"It is not my place to choose. I do not choose for you."

"Then who or what does?"

The woman walked forwards, placing a skeletal hand on his chest.

"Every choice you make is yours. The truth is, there is nothing pulling the strings. Every door is open. Every possibility is open to you. But the path that you choose, and the outcome of your actions, are yours alone. Clearly, you are fighting to stay alive. Let me show you why."

The woman pressed her hand up to his forehead, and like a flash, a great surge of thunder, he remembered. A brother. A family. Friends. Responsibilities. Good days, bad days, his favorite things, places, people. Everything. And it overwhelmed him. He fell to his knees at the sight of it all, clutching the dirt. He looked up to the woman, who watched him, her features once more sympathetic to him.

"I forgot them. How.... Why would I forget them? Why would I leave them? Why would you do this?"

The world snapped and shifted in the blink of an eye, and now they were on a beach. The storm was passing. The darkness of night was overtaking the city across the water. As he sat in the sand, arms wrapped themselves around him, and the woman spoke into his ear.

"Do not punish yourself for it. It is necessary for most who come here. But it seems like you are different. And now, the choice is truly in your hands. In both body and soul."

"Can't I stay? Can't I stay here, forever?"

"All who come here will, and must move on. Forever is a concept that is false, made to help one make sense of the world. Forever implies that the universe will stand still, just for you."

He wiped his eyes, laughing.

"That was bad. I feel bad now because of that. But.... I like you. As stupid as it sounds, I do. I want to stay here with you. It feels like I've known you my whole life."

The woman giggled.

"That's because you have. From the moment you were born. I was there. I was always there, in the shadows, watching, and waiting. Every day you drew breath. Every good day. Every bad day. You just never bumped into me until now."

He nodded quietly, thinking.

"How many others out there are like me right now? You hold me tight, and tell me all these wonderful, and horrible things. But I can't be the only one."

"It is true. But this is the truth. I am not a person. I am a sum. An experience. And every experience is different. The experience you share at this moment will never be repeated. While I look at all of you, talk to you and guide you, make you content and happy, and listen to what you have to say, every single one is different. And it is in my power to be there, for every moment. But in every moment, what you see is just me."

"So, you, right here and now, you're like a different person? But when looked at as a whole, you're just a big sum of things?"

"In a manner."

"So, if I go, back out there, will you be waiting for me when I come back? Will this right here, who you are, be waiting?"

The woman unwrapped her skeletal arms from around him, and glided around to face him. She smiled from under her hood.

"I've always been waiting."

The woman knelt down, overtaking him as he laid down in the sand. She hovered over him, watching him with the voids of her eyes.

"Will you let me show you?"

"Show me what?"

"What you want. What will one day arrive and come to pass."

He nodded.

"Okay."

The woman smiled from under her hood, as the dark tendrils of her dress overtook him, and she wrapped her arms around him.

"Death will overtake everything, eventually. But it welcomes all with open arms, like old friends. I will be here, always."

The woman leaned down, pressing her pale face closer, as he stared into the voids of her dark eyes. Black lipstick and lips deceiving of the hallowed being pressed up against his.

He wasn't sure what was happening. He was disorientated. But when he looked up, there she was. The woman in black, with her pale skin, and her eyes that stared so far into the void. She was waiting for him, her skeletal arms held wide. He walked forwards, instinctively, into an embrace that was warm. It was loving. It was an embrace that accepted him.

No words were spoken or shared. But he knew all there was to be said. All he could do was look up, as the woman smiled at him. One of his hands traveled up, as did one of the woman's skeletal hands. At the top of her dress, he found a zipper. He hesitated briefly, but was guided along by one of her hands. He clasped it gently, and the woman helped him, guided him downwards. The zipper slid along its path, and the dark dress split apart, revealing more pale skin.

Spotless and smooth, he slid the zipper down as far as it would go, and the dress split apart. It pulled back to the sides like ink, and the woman's body was revealed in full. Pale as ever, the skin he had imagined before was perfect. The woman before him would have been a goddess. Perfectly defined and sculpted. But the pale, deathly tone reminded him of who, or what this was. Such thoughts eroded as the woman brought a finger up to her black lips, hanging it on them as she smiled.

The dark tendrils reached out, as her dress spread wide, and wrapped itself around him completely. He was consumed by dark. But there was no fear. It was just love. A love of everything, accepting, calling, and waiting. He reached up, his hands roaming across her body, sculpted like marble. It was soft, squishy, yet taught all in one. He kissed her chest, trailing down as he went. She liked that.

He pulled her close, sliding his hands along her back and shoulders, as she wrapped her skeletal arms around him. His clothes were gone now, disappeared into the void. He looked up at the woman, who held him in her arms. He slid his hand up along her pale backside, up her neck, and pulled her hood down. Midnight black hair as dark as her eyes spilled forth, and he roamed his hand through it up to her head, as he pulled her down. Black lips greeted his, accepting, eager even.

Things shifted once more. He didn't know where he was. But it didn't matter. Pale legs were wrapped around his mid-section, and he clutched her thighs, lifting and thrusting. Skeletal hands roamed through his hair, as her skinny form bounced over top of him. She moaned, called out for more, as she clung so tightly to him. He could feel it. Despite her cold appearance, there was warmth. A hunger even, as if she was eager to have this. To give this.

Her breasts bounced as he sped up, and she twisted her pale form, skinny and vaguely skeletal, showing great flexibility as she did. He could feel it, and she could too. He watched her eyes hungrily, her face, often devoid of any Human emotion, yet filled with smiles or sympathy. Pleasure was creased across black lips as they opened wide, and inky black eyes closed shut from the pleasure.

Pleasure came and went, arriving like a great wave, and then crashed down to nothing. But still, there was more. She was always here. Would always be here, waiting. Waiting to say hello. Waiting to embrace those who needed it.

She was spread across the bed, as he hovered over top of her. Her backside was bared to him in its pale, stark beauty. He was gentle at first, because she was gentle. Caressing, and slow, careful not to hurt. He couldn't see her face now, as she lay on the sheets, but he could feel it. The biting of her black lips, and the hunger in her eyes, the flare of excitement when he gripped her tightly. She was gentle, and her form displayed it. But he could be rough. And she could take it. She wanted it.

And slowly, he gave in. Gripping her hips tightly, he gave in to the lust. He slammed in and out, back and forth, and watched the shaking and contortions of muscles along her pale back. He reveled in things as he watched skeletal hands grip and tear at the bed sheets. Her feet, skeletal as well, curled their toes. Her head held back as moans and cries of wanting and more escaped those black lips. He held her hair tight, black strands so dark that his hand seemed to disappear when he gripped it all.

But she too, reveled in everything. Pulled back, stretched and held tightly. Her cloak wrapped itself around him as he increased it all, falling completely into a state of lust and wanting. She wanted everything he could give. And he did. And she accepted it, crying out in bliss and joy, her voice ethereal and distant, echoing through millennia, but so very present.

And they continued. And slowly, he began to realize that the limitations here, were endless. There was no limit, if you chose. Gripping her body, caressing, ravaging, their encounters grew more varied. She was flexible to no end, and bent herself for him, entwining herself around him, as bones pressed against her skin and showed off more of herself to him, capturing him in the dark confines of her cloak.

He stood now, his face buried in her most sensitive core, as her legs and thighs pressed around his head, her legs wrapping around his neck. Down below, she moaned from his efforts, but continued her own. Black lipstick leaving trails and marks, as she glided effortlessly with her mouth. She knew every inch of him.

Every encounter was new. Every moment was heated with lust and desire. And every one ended with a great crash, a great fade, as he pulled her tight, never wanting her to leave. Every end, no matter how messy, inside or out, she wanted it all. She loved it all. And he never wanted to stop.

She beckoned to him, contorting herself as she wrapped her legs behind her head. He reached out, entrapped and entwined by her cloak, as he slid in and out hungrily. Her form was compressed, and he could lean down, and stare into the void of her eyes, as her black lips consumed his in a fight to claim who wanted it most. He pressed down on her legs, enjoying the elasticity, while she togged at his backside, wanting to keep him close.

And then, the great wave came and rose, as high as it could go for the both of them. She cried out his name, and dug the sharp points of her skeletal hands into his back, as they arrived at their end. He stayed inside of her, her pale body warm and accepting. He ran his hands through her black hair, across her pale cheeks as he kissed her, and held her there, in the last fading moments.

He gasped for air, as her black lips pulled back, away from him. Life filled him, an energy that made him feel limitless. The beach, and the city were all around him in the background, but all he could do was stare into her eyes. And then, he felt it. It resonated throughout the void, and sounded out like a clap of thunder.

A heartbeat. Tears arrived, as he stared into her face. She held him tightly, clutched him with a love so deep he knew he would never know something like it again.

"Please.... I don't want to go.... Don't leave me."

Her face was sympathetic as always. But her smile went beyond a simple expression. He could feel it in his soul.

"I will be here for you. Always."

Another heartbeat, louder this time, and suddenly, the world around him began to crumble and fade. White filled the edges of his vision.

"Please. I can't. I can't do it. I don't want to be alone!"

She stroked one of her hands across his cheek.

"You will not remember this. But I will. And your time will come. When it does, I will be here for you. Waiting, like I always have."

Another heartbeat, closer this time, louder, stronger. He curled up like a child as her cloak embraced him, and she held him close.

"It will be a hard road ahead. But you are never alone. You never will be."

She kissed him, breaking away as the edges of his vision began to blur, and worlds bent and crossed planes, as he stared up at the ceiling of a hospital. She was still smiling as she spoke.

"In your dreams, the dreams that you dream, of far off places and people. Your nightmares, you fears, and your hopes, and everything that your kind create while you slumber, I will visit you. Keep your eyes sharp, for the darkest blackness."

She kissed him one last time as the world faded and crumbled, and eventually, even her face, her dark eyes that tunneled into infinity, and her black lips, so full with life, faded into nothing, replaced with a heartbeat that grew stronger, pulling him back to things.

He awoke with a gasp of air and life that made the nurse jump. His brother, and friends, broke down as they stood, rushing over to the bed, as everything came back to him, like a great wave and calamity.

Amongst all the people, and the commotion of doctors and nurses, men and women, as they hurried about in their lives, living them as the seconds counted down until their ends arrived, and their life was extinguished, she stood. They would all see her one day. Every last one of them.

She walked through the crowd, to look at the man in the hospital bed. His body was broken, and burned. But the life that clung to it was resilient. But even he would turn to dust one day. And she would be waiting for him. She would wait, for all of them with open arms.

She leaned in close, to the man as he laid back in his bed, barely alive, placing her lips across his before vanishing into the void, leaving him to live his life. He would forge his own path, like they all would. And she would watch, and wait in the shadows. And when they fell, she would catch them and break their fall.

Because she loved all of them.