FSE

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Disclaimer: The following will contain homosexual individuals and relationships and will involve interpretations of deities from various religions. No offense is intended. This is copyrighted to me (mewjen(at)ymail.com), so no using it without my. This is a work of fiction.

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It was the hardest thing I ever experienced. My ten-year-old brother kissing another boy in his bedroom. It wasn't anything more than a simple peck on the lips, but it was still heartbreaking. They didn't see me through the crack in the door, as they started pulling out scrolls from their school bags, beginning their homework. I left in silence, desperately trying to understand what I had seen.

My little brother was a twerp, I'll admit. Annoying and bothersome at times. But he's still a kid, playful, curious, and fun. Every weekend he barges into my room and jumps on my cot just to wake me up, because it would be disastrous for me to sleep in for once. It is about the only time we have left, since I am kept constantly busy with work, our parents, and the few other things I am allowed.

I heard the soft rasp of his knuckles against the door before he bounded in, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Hey, bwother," he said with that constant excitement of his.

"So you have decided to grace me with your presence. I am honored beyond measure," I teased.

He stopped and stared. "Whut?"

I smiled, as I chuckled, finding his expression hilarious. "Never mind. What can I do for you?"

"Mother says dinner will be ready in a half-hour." He turned to leave, but I called to him.

"Is your friend gone?" I asked.

"Yeah, he left a few minutes ago," he replied offhandedly, still turned away from me.

"Could you sit for a moment, please?" I requested, pulling out the stool that rested under my worktable, before I sat on my cot.

He sat in front of me, showing some discomfort at my seriousness.

"I saw you with him," I confessed, but he just looked confused. "I saw you..." I dropped to a whisper, "kiss him."

He blushed with embarrassment, knowing he was caught.

"You should not have done it," I continued, before he interrupted me.

"But you do it all the time," he exclaimed.

"Not that often. Plus, I'm older, and I kiss females," I replied. "You, on the other hand, are much too young to be kissing anyone like that."

"But," he complained, "the other guys at school do."

"And if they jumped from the outer wall, would you join them?" I countered.

"No," he answered with exasperation. "But kissing is nice."

I sighed. "Oh, you are too young to understand." I took several moments to collect my thoughts, trying to explain but much too uncomfortable to want to explain. "Just because it feels nice, does not make it okay. If Mother and Father knew, they would not be please."

"Please, don't tell," he whined, fearing a beating.

"I won't," I said quickly, but pointing my finger at him, I added, "But no more kissing."

"I won't," he promised instantly.

"Good," I answered, glad to be done with the subject, all too happy to forget. "Now how was school?"

Three days later, I found them kissing behind our house.

I cleared my throat to announce my presence, and they quickly parted. They both fidgeted, as I stared down at them. I sent his friend home, while I kept my brother there, so we would not be overheard by our parents.

"So, would you like to explain?" I asked, showing my displeasure.

"It just happened," he mumbled, before adding, "accidentally."

I raised my brow. "Accidentally?"

"Yeah, accidentally," he confirmed, his smile full of hope.

I stared at him, before adding my sarcastic comment. "So one of you tripped over the other, and the two of you just happened to end up with your lips pressed together against the side of our house?"

"Yeah," he answered, thinking he was saving himself from being reprimanded.

Part of me really wanted to share the art of lying with realism with him and to explain sarcasm. But at the same time, teaching him to lie, with him being this confused would be dangerous if he actually managed to trick me.

"Is that what happened?" I questioned, trying not to show my disbelief.

"Yes," he replied without thinking.

So I laid the trap for him. "Could you repeat that, in your own words?"

He stared at me, knowing he'd already forgotten the lie.

"You promised no more kissing," I stated, relieving my frustration.

"I'm sorry," he said, still showing his lack of understanding.

"Why?" I asked, confused by his behavior. "Why would you...with that...?"

He didn't look at me when he answered. "I like it." He waited for a moment, before adding, "And I like him."

I stared at him, trying to hide my horror, trying to remind myself that he was just putting together words he had heard others say. "You don't know what that means."

"Why does it matter?" he asked, showing his naïveté.

I struggled to find words that could explain the danger he was causing, but not wanting to hurt my little brother. "Kissing has meaning," I said finally. "You are just too young to understand the implications. When you are older you will regret your actions today."

"No, I won't," he stated, full of ignorance.

I sighed in frustration. "Boys do not kiss boys," I stated bluntly.

He reacted as if I was taking away that stuffed jackal he loves so much. "Why not?"

"Because neither could ever bear a child," I retorted, my frustration turning into anger.

"I don't want a child." He raised his voice, as he reacted to the change in mine.

"Not yet," I tried to calm down, "but someday you will meet a woman and that will change."

"No, I won't," I stated stubbornly, crossing his arms.

I knelt in front of him, trying to return civility to both of us. "Boys kiss girls. There is no other choice."

He looked utterly disgusted at that idea.

"You're too young," I said gently. "You will grow out of this illness."

He unfolded his arms and balled his fists in anger. "You think I'm sick?"

I tried to backpedal from my poor choice of words, but he ran off, before I could stutter out a complete sentence.

Later, I heard him crying, and when I went to his door, he yelled at me to go away.

He did not speak to me for two weeks. My parents asked me several times why, but I refused to betray him. After that, we never brought it up, and things started to return to normal.

It was a lie though. I caught him several times. He couldn't understand, and I didn't know how to explain. So I went to the only person I could trust.

"I've tried to help him," I pleaded from her desk chair. "I know he will get over this. I just need to keep him safe until then."

"Why not let your parents deal with it?" she offered offhandedly, laying on her bed elegantly.

"My parents?" I stared at her, dumbfounded. "They will never give him a chance. He needs time and understanding, not a beating."

She sat up. "It would take more than a beating. He is already lost."

"I won't accept that," I stated.

"You are going to have to at some point," she said, standing up. "Your brother is the living antithesis to what you must become. To become greater than Ra, you must rise above mere creation. You must be the ruler of life and your subjects must bow to their place out of loyalty."

"My brother will never be a mere subject to me," I retorted, offended by her indifference.

"But he will never be your queen or your prince," she countered.

I turned to her, my surprise overriding my previous thoughts. "Prince? You're pregnant?"

"Yes," she smiled down at me, as she walked over to me. "Once Ra is defeated, you will have an heir to your kingdom."

I took her hand. "Does that mean you will be breaking off your engagement?" I asked, hoping to finally be allowed to win her heart.

"Of course not," She stated plainly. "You have nothing. How could I wed a mere stable boy? You cannot even wield magic with any skill. Look at how you are fretting over a useless boy. You are weak."

I knocked over the chair that I was sitting in my rush to stand up, showing my anger at her scorn. "I love you."

She chuckled at me. "And so, does he. I will not put my child in your hands until you can prove yourself worthy."

"I will not sacrifice my brother for you," I snarled. "He is not some lowly faggot."

She waved her hand, and I was thrown against the wall, as the stone cracked and warped around my limbs, binding my hands and legs. "That is exactly what he is," she stated, showing her fury at my desired to protect my brother. "He is a waste of your time and concern. If left to continue, he will corrupt you and my son, and that is unacceptable." She stood before me. "Your brother cost you my hand three years ago. Now your child. What else will you let him take?"

I stared at her in disbelief. "Your child isn't mine?"

"I'm getting married in five days," she answered. "I can't have your bastard."

I felt my heart ache. "You promised me...."

She placed her hand on her stomach. "I swore I would have a great son, a king, and I will. Now you must choose, Osiris. Set or our Horus?"

I stared at her confused, and then realized her meaning. "You're naming him after your brother?"

"My brother was a great man," she answered with a cold stare. "What about you? What will you become? Can you fulfill your dream anymore?" She turned around and gracefully walked away.

"Do you love me?" I called out, as she opened the door.

Instead of answering, she waved her hand once more, and I collapsed to the floor, as she walked away.

My parents watched, as we galloped away. I still felt the pain of last night's lashes against my back, as Set squeezed me tightly, still afraid of horses. My parents were vicious after I admitted to hiding Set's behavior from them. Their last words to him were not kind. I could feel him sobbing against me, as we rode into the desert. He didn't know what exile meant. Nor did he understand why I was here, why I was forced to be the one to do this.

I didn't speak, not even to answer his questions. I fought away tears, knowing my duty was to be strong.

"I'm hungry," he said after the sun had passed its midpoint.

I stopped my steed and turned around. The city's walls were no longer in sight. Our path through the desert was mostly gone. I got down and helped him to the ground.

"Can I get some water?" he asked with such innocence.

"I'm sorry," I said, hugging him. "This is where I leave you."

"What?" he squeaked in terror, having heard the stories of the desert all his life. "You can't."

"I don't have a choice," I said, standing up.

"I'll die!" He wrapped his arms around my leg.

"That's the point," I whispered, before I used what little magic I knew to push him away, trying to force myself to continue.

I moved to get back on my horse.

"I'm sorry. Please, don't leave me," he cried.

I turned back to him, and felt my heart cry out against my part in this. I paused for a moment, before I made my decision.

"Okay, I won't leave," I said.

He rushed to me and hugged me, and I knelt down and hugged him back.

I kept a strong hold on him, as I wielded the power within me. It was like a dam had been removed, as my power flowed like never before. I discovered my mercy, as I smothered my brother.

I heard my steed whinny, as I noticed the storm approaching quickly. I waited as long as I could. His body had stopped twitching, before I laid him down. I crossed his arms, before I ran to my horse.

As we galloped away, I turned back on my mount and watched the storm move over my brother's body, hopefully burying him in sand.

"Goodbye, Set," I whispered, taking comfort in the pain I had saved him from.

"What is this?" Isis called out, as she strode into the hovel that I had taken for my residence. She held up the morning newspaper, showing me one of its pages.

"Hello, my dear," I said charmingly. "Shouldn't you be on your honeymoon?"

"You think I do not know who Set's best friend was?" she asked angrily. "Because his neck was snapped in front of their entire school, at the same time you should have been at my wedding."

"I was there, I believe," I stated.

"And what about the note you sent?" she hissed.

"His parents should be pleased at not being punished for their failure to drown him." I tried to act impassive, but venom spilled into my voice in the end.

"You cannot murder and become a god of life!" she yelled.

"Then I will be a lord of death instead!" I retorted.

She sat down next to me and took my hand in her own, showing me her pity. "I know it is hard, but he took his own life. You are not responsible, and you cannot seek vengeance on all that are like him."

"It is better than forcing them to live through such suffering," I countered.

"Ra will track you if you continue down this path. His sentence can end your dream," she replied.

"Do you love me?" I asked.

"I want you to raise Horus beside me, but I cannot allow it with you like this," she answered, before standing up.

"I will overthrow Ra, and end his evil reign," I stated.

"Then," she said, turning away, "you must find balance within yourself, if you are to rule without fear."

Eight years later, I stood in my great hall. My army was gone. My recruits had run out. The soldiers I forged were crumbling. My powers were gone, and the war that I had planned to seize Ra's power and this city had ended before it even had the chance to begin.

Ra stole the world's magic and with it my victory.

"Osi-is?" I heard my son calling out from upstairs. I no longer had the ability to hide this from him, so I hastened up the stairs to head off his search.

I found him sitting at the bottom of the staircase near the entrance hall. He had his wings pulled tightly around him and was crying. From the state of things, without magic to shield his wings, he had become completely uncoordinated.

I sat down next to him and placed my hand on his closest shoulder. "What's wrong?" I asked gently.

"They ooh-ere laughing at ne again," he sobbed. "Ny ooh-ings just acceared, and I can't hide then. I ooh-as sent to the dack and I tooithed."

I interrupted, concerned. "Are you hurt?"

He shrugged off my worry. "A thew duises."

I waited. It seemed there was something else he needed to say but was afraid to utter. I placed my arm fully around him and hugged him.

"I'th deen sustended," he whispered.

I pulled back in surprise.

"Until I can contol ny ooh-ings," he added quickly.

"Why would they suspend you? It's not your fault," I said, trying to comfort him.

"A foo of the othe kids got hurt ooh-hen I fell," he said, his body sagging.

"Come on," I said, standing up and holding out my hand. "Let's get you some iced cream before it melts."

"You're not nad?" he asked.

"It's not your fault," I replied, as I helped him to his feet. I had to jump to the ground to avoid his wings, as he shifted positions, but I kept the warm smile. "So where is your mother?"

"She letht afte dootting ne off" His shrug caused one of the paintings that line the stairway to fall, breaking its frame. "Sooay," he said, looking about ready to burst into tears again.

"I didn't like that one anyways," I smiled gently.

Ten months later, I sat on our bed, as I watched Isis packing. Horus was a sleep and oblivious to our discussion.

"Why would you agree to help Ra?" I asked in disbelieve, "Why would you agree to abandon our son?"

She continued to pack, not even glancing at me. "Magic is all but gone. Those few with the gift left have it under Ra's blessing and protection. His curse is already starting to change things. Our people are forgetting and accepting this fate. We need Ra as an ally. Only he can restore what he has taken from us."

I stared at her, wanting to stop her but knowing I could do nothing. "I don't understand. What are you going to do?"

She peered at me, as she emptied our dresser of her clothing. "Ra has a son. With the riots, you have started and the others, he fears for his son. So he is sending him away. To be raised by me."

I stood up, unable to remain seated in my confusion. "How can he trust you? How can you betray me for his brat?"

She stopped for a moment, turning to me. "Anubis is our hope in this war. The blood they share will make him a power unlike any other. The one who controls him will shape things to come."

"You're betraying us, because you found a better source of power," I retorted, showing the hurt I felt.

She used the space on the bed I had vacated to organize the belongings she was taking. "I do this for Horus, as I have done everything. I am trusting you with my son. To raise him. To teach him. To prepare him. You will be a great ruler one day, and Horus will follow, followed by his son, and his son, and so on. An age of kings and gods across all planes, all realms." She turned to me. "So long as you keep your murderous streak under control."

"I have kept my promise," I stated, insulted by her reprimand, "and so long as Horus is under my roof, I will let them suffer. Now how does Ra trust you?"

"That is none of your concern," she stated curtly.

I snarled, "If you and he--"

But she interrupted me, showing her annoyance at my presumption. "Ra would never betray those he cares about."

"But you are more than willing to," I countered, channeling my anger into resentment.

She did not react to my statement. "The existence of Anubis will be kept a secret. If that changes, I will make certain you suffer for it." She made her threat with calm serenity.

"Threaten me all you like," I huffed, before twisting her actions back on her. "But how are you going to tell Horus?"

"I will not be," she stated.

There was silence except for her closing her luggage, as my surprise worked its way through my mind.

"You are not leaving this to me," I said, almost sounding desperate. "He blames me enough for your mistakes."

She turned to me. "I need him to trust me."

"And hate me." I stared at her, taking in her face. "You planned this. You knew Horus would find those letters. You knew he would--"

She sighed at me. "He never saw you as a father, and I do not need him to. You are his mentor, so act like it and stop coddling him. He needs to be strong."

She walked over to me and kissed me.

"Goodbye, Osiris," she whispered to me. "I will see you when Anubis is grown and magic is restored." She stood in front of me, as she pushed aside our son and me. "Now one final act." She waved her hand in front of her face, taking on a more aged appearance. The face she used to trick Ra, and the face that would become the caretaker of Ra's child.

"Go to him before you leave, please," I begged, before she picked up her bags and left.

After The Fall of Tem, after the rebirth of the gods and the separation of those that fell, after I found my son with my brother's apparition, I looked down from afar at the spot where I last saw them. My tears were hidden by the rain, as I stood there, feeling my heart ache.

My brother was dead, and yet he manage to still haunt me. How could he know to steal my son? How could he poison him and steal my heart?

"Osiris?" She followed me, despite my wishes.

"You shouldn't have come," I whispered. "What I must do I do alone."

I felt her umbrella move over the right half of my face, as she drew closer. "I won't let you."

I turned my head to the sky, trying to hide the pain I felt.

"Our son is lost to us," I uttered softly. "There is only one mercy left I can give to him."

She moved closer, blocking the sky from my sight. "You cannot," she stated firmly.

I turned my head to her. "You had me kill my brother, and now I must save our son the same way."

"No," she whispered. I saw the tears slide down her face.

"Listen to reason," I said, after wiping away the tear with my finger. "Remember what you taught me. It's the only way," I continued, trying to comfort her.

But she pushed my hand away. "I was wrong." She spoke softly, staring at me. Her face showing an uncharacteristic regret.

I placed my hand on her shoulder, trying to console her. "You are letting your mistakes with Anubis twist you."

"No," she almost choked out. "Jaller and he showed me the truth."

I shook my head in pity for her. "They can never beget a child," I answered soothingly. "Life ends with them."

Her stare sent waves of unease through my body. "But they were happy together," she said. "That is all a parent can desire."

I could feel my heart racing, as I listened to her.

"We love Horus," she continued. "If this is the way he is, then how can we judge him? How can we demand control of his heart? Wanting a grandchild is not enough of a reason for me to hurt him. We are just going to have to alter some of our plans."

I felt the fear I had driven away so long ago gripping my heart. "You're wrong. Set was suffering. A king--"

"Set's alive," she offered kindly. "Forget what I said--"

"Set's dead," I stated quickly, before I choked out, "I kill...."

She stopped me by placing her hand on my chest. "Exile is no guarantee of death. He survived."

"He couldn't have." I stared down at my hands, practically seeing them covered in red. "It's a ghost. A memory. A lie."

She moved into me, mistaking the source of my panic. "I'm not saying they should be allowed to be together," she offered. "That would be a mistake, but if that is the way they are, then so be it."

"You don't understand. Set couldn't be alive. He can't--" I felt a stabbing pain in my heart, as I collapsed to my knees.

Her confusion and trepidation stopped her from aiding me, as I stared at her, trying to explain. "What did you do?" she asked, showing fear for the first time.

I stared up at her helplessly, as I gasped for air.

"You tried to murder your brother?" She looked at me in horror, unconsciously backing away.

Feeling the rain wash over my body renew my strength. "I wanted to save him. I had to help--"

__________ __________

I felt my heart stop in my chest that night. I felt myself die for the first time. I felt my soul being ripped from my body, before being drawn back, as I was forced to live. I learned who I was that night. I am Life and Death, lord and king of both, for I alone exist as both and neither. My skin shows the truth of my existence, my continuous rebirth, never allowed to die, but never allowed to live. I was born to rule the whole of Ra's creation in a way that Ra could never hope to understand. My will is law. Isis' dream of a contrite ruler was flawed from the beginning. I rule with fear, because no one is out of my reach. I am the one true god in this universe.

I was punished that night for my guilt, my regret, my weakness. I was shown the simple truth. Those that reject life are beyond death. They need my mercy. My love for the few could allow for some patience and forgiveness, should they acquiesce. But punishment will always come in the end.

My son suffers by his own hand. My actions are just. I am not the cause of his pain. I do what is right, so that he may stop hurting himself.

Set is my sin, my burden to bear. I was never meant to kill him. He was supposed to die in that desert alone. Instead, I created a lust within me that can never end. I may have gain some control in choosing those I kill, but the cycle can never break. It will remain a constant reminder of the choices I made when I was naïve. So I force myself to punish the guilty, and I keep my targets near, so the innocent are spared.

My heart will never beat. Love of woman, child, and family is not enough. Love of vengeance, anger, and hate is not enough. I have tried so many ways to have my heart beat again, to escape my fate. Set is the key. I know that now. His death is my end. His salvation is my resurrection, but I fear that neither shall ever pass.

Set is stubborn and foolish. His obsession with my son has furthered Horus' fall. He has left me with one choice.

The shadow remained in the crater created by its fall. Its body crumpled, cracks forming throughout its body. Its every breath expelled ash, as it choked on its flesh. One of its red eyes opened, as it heard my footsteps. "Help me," it called, gasping for air.

"Why should I waste my effort?" I spoke with disdain, stopping beside it. "You could not even make it to Anubis, let alone try to kill him."

It stared up at me, twisting its head to look at me with both eyes. "Horus cut off my power. He cheated me," it whined.

"Yes. He gained access to Ra's power and bested you. A feat not even I managed." I was almost pleased at my son's triumph, but Horus needed to be shown his failures more than he needed praise.

It turned onto its back, scraping off a layer of fine ash. "I thought you created this spell."

I prodded its arm with my foot and watched it crumble. It cried out, but I took no notice of it. "Horus thought that you mean. But no, that spell has existed for quite some time. The ultimate test of magic."

It tried to writhe in pain, but the act of reaching for its stump proved too great. "How dare you call me that." It spat out the ash that pooled in its mouth. "I am a living--"

"You are nothing more than a fading memory," I interrupted, growing tired of its excuses.

"You promised me--" It started.

"Life?" I finished. "Existence after? Including you, I have met three of your kind. I will admit you are unique in your passion, but that is not why you exist. You are a spell to test one's worthiness. I failed that test. I expected Horus to fail, but you were weak."

Its eyes narrowed in anger, but even its bark was fading. "Who did you kill?" it asked, searching for a path to my mercy...or at least what Horus thought mercy was.

"Mine was not quite as epic as Horus's choice," I let myself be amused for a moment or two. "Set or Anubis. I do not understand the comparison. "

"Love," it whispered, before begging for its soul. "Heal me."

I did nothing, waiting for it to continue.

"I can still help you," it said at last.

"You are right about that." I knelt down next to it and began clearing the loose ash from its chest, trying to soothe its tremors. "You have a copy of every single memory that Horus had when you were created," I said quietly. "You let me sample before, but I need more access, because I want a certain memory. One that cannot be remember. One that I must dissect." I forced my hand into its chest, digging through its ash flesh as I clutched my fist around its heart. "The memory capable of changing another." I ripped the organ from its body. It solidified as it made contact with the air, but I could still feel it pulsing as I held its heart before its eyes.

Its body began hardening, as life started draining from it. "You think having that ability will change the way he feels about you, about Set." It stared up at me and the source of its life, as it fought to survive through its force of will alone.

"Oh, it will," I mused, letting this death quench the bloodlust for the moment.

"He is bonded to Set." It struggled as its limbs froze, as it tried to steal my victory from me, before it expired. "So long as they are alive they will find each other."

"Only if he remembers." I let out a small chuckled, as the petrification moved up its neck.

"You will fail," it choked out, as its body completely hardened, leaving it a black statue frozen in its final moment.

I turned my head and waited for the crocodile to draw near.

"Have one of your men collect the body. I trust you know someone who can make use of it," I told Sobek, before pocketing the ash heart.

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Author's Note: I fought with myself about this chapter. I could not overcome the desire to write chapter now, but I am not certain if the timing works. I have had a form of this chapter in mind for a while, and one of the ideas was to make this the epilogue, similar to Ra's confession in A Failed Duty, but I want that to be something to else. The problem I have with this chapter is jumping into Osiris, which breaks the pattern I have setup, but is necessary.

I may change the order of this chapter later on, if I find a better place for it. I hope this venture into Osiris' past was interesting. It was nice to flesh out some of the details and his character, and figuring out how to write young Horus was fun.

Thank you for reading this chapter. While you are here, please rate, favorite, and comment so that other people may also enjoy this story. Plus, they are always appreciated.