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Hidden: Chapter 12

Human

"When I woke up, I was here." I had been crying and the fur on my face was damp and clumped together my ears had simple fallen, not pressed against my head or anything, just hanging off of the side of my head. The admiral had tried to stop me from continuing on several occasions, but I insisted on finishing my story. I didn't want to suffer the pain of stopping and starting over and over again and reliving each moment over the course of several sessions. I needed to get it out now and fast. At least I had agreed to talk in his office.

The office did have a better feel to it than the old concrete interrogation room. The chairs were comfortable and the desk that separated us was a dark wood with a shiny polish. A model of a dreadnaught warship sat on the desk, joined by the usual files that were always there whenever the admiral talked to me. The generic white office walls had photos of various places from across the solar system. The carpet felt nice on my pads, how they tickled a bit and got between my toes. Everything in the room was there to just soak up stress, but I had too much for it.

"Take your time, there is no rush." The admiral patted my paw that was sitting on the table. The contact helped a little, but not enough. I pulled my hand back and rubbed my face, trying to stop any more tears from coming out, it was humiliating to be seen like this. I looked down at the wet marks that were on my naval shirt. I took a deep breath. I wasn't finished, there were still questions that needed to be answered.

"Did the rest of them get out?" I mumbled.

"Yes, your squad's actions allowed them to escape the ship. They are well and fine." His hand was still were I left it, reaching for me like how Crane reached. More tears began to well up and I rubbed my eyes more.

"I'm guessing I won't be able to contact them." I knew the answer. I was no longer human, I was here to be questioned and kept hidden from the rest of the world to let NATO decide what to do with me. I would be lucky to see the sun again.

"No, you may still have your rank, but only people on the top know of you." He took out a paper from the folder and looked it over. "As far as Captain Krauss knows, your final words were, quote 'You may make your move captain.' Unquote. He thinks you died on that ship to let him complete the mission. You're a hero to him." A hero, I never considered myself that in any way. All I did was my duty, what was best for the mission and my squad. If my 'squad' even existed.

"And Sergeant Crane?" I had held back since I heard his voice the other night. It had been eating away at me ever since. It sounded just like him when he got mad and felt cheated.

The admiral paused for a bit. Looking over the folder at me and away as soon as I made eye contact. I didn't know how to interpret that. Was he dead? Did he know something I didn't? The anticipation was driving me insane. His jaw clenched a bit and he had a look of uncertainty in his eyes. He set the file down and finally managed to look at me in the eyes.

"Sergeant Crane was never recovered." I felt like I was stabbed. A loud whine came out of me and made the guard in the back corner flinch a bit. "We don't know what happened to him when we sent in the rescue team. Krauss had insisted that your bodies be recovered, as per the Spec Enforcers tradition and NATO barely agreed to get your squad. The blast you created scared away any of the werewolves in your area and allowed us to get to your position. We were surprised when we found you alive." I was gripping the desk and my nails dug small trenches in it.

"How is that possible?" I barked. "He was right there. Right next to me." I stood up, fur bristling.

The admiral was unfazed. "We don't know. If his body was dragged off, we'll find him. Another platoon of Spec Enforcers was sent in ahead of a company of marines. They're clearing out the ship as we speak." He fished a remote out of his hand and pressed a button. One of the paintings lifted up showing a screen underneath. It flickered on and I could see footage of about 20 soldiers, all in the kind of suits I was wearing, heading down a hall. It was on the ship.

"With the information you've given us along with Captain Krauss' we've managed to take half of the ship without too much trouble. We have more numbers now and know that the werewolves are vulnerable to ranged fire and are only dangerous in close quarters." He was watching the video and looked pleased with the progress that was shown on the screen. "Squad 4 has been recovered since they were at the front of the ship. It will take time to get to Captain Luther's squad since they are at the back." He looked back at me with confidence and folded his hands together. "A few pockets of survivors have been found who managed to close themselves off in airtight parts of the ship. Don't worry we'll find Sergeant Crane's body."

I thought about the condition I was in. "What if he's the same as me?" I pointed my finger at myself.

"There are orders to capture any werewolf if possible, though if he is like you, it would be impossible to tell in his new form and all werewolves that can't be captured are being shot." I panicked a bit and nearly bolted for the door. I needed to find him if he was still alive. Where would I start? I didn't even know where I was, there was nothing I could do at the moment. I sat back down and patted the fur around my neck to get it settled back down.

The admiral turned the screen off and let the picture slide back into place. "I want you to take some time and calm down. Can you do that for me?" I nodded. "Good, the sergeant here will take you back to your cell and food will be brought soon afterwards." He walked over to me and patted my shoulder. "Captain." He nodded and left the room.

I left a bit after him and the guard took me to my cell. I went in and sat on the bed. The admiral had talked about recovering a Sergeant Crane's body, but when I talked as if he was still alive, he didn't correct me. It wasn't confirmed he was dead. If there wasn't a body, then he could still be alive. Yeah, I would hold onto that for as long as possible.

Poor Ivan. My thoughts went to the lieutenant. If I was recovered, he was probably recovered as well, or what was left of him. The image of his death flashed back and I shuddered. How it just stood up right with no head for instance as the last electrical signals from his nonexistent head were still traveling through his body. I felt responsible even though he chose to stand his ground. He could have easily fallen back to the sergeant's position. The idea of having us staggered was just that, an idea. I gave no orders to stand our ground, but he did. His final words, 'It is a good day to die' told me that he had accepted his fate. Still, no one can see a squad mate die and not feel responsible in some way.

"I hope his family gets something in the end." I whispered to myself. "Enough to put in a coffin for a proper burial." If they did get his body, I would want to see the funeral. I wouldn't be able to go, but if I could just get a chance to pay my respects, that would be just fine. Actually I would want to say a few words for the other squads as well, it was only right to do so. I would ask when I saw the admiral again. It felt wrong, I was essentially planning funerals but it was the best thing to do and pretty much the only thing I could do as long as I was kept here.

The food came a few hours later. It was a grilled cheese sandwich. Must have been lunch. There was apple juice and fruit along with it. Made me wonder if my gut was more like a dogs or a human's. I hadn't been suffering from indigestion or any kind of ailments so it must have been more human like. I didn't crave the idea of a dog biscuit or kibble, so that was a bit of a saving grace. Since I had been with the admiral without any kind of restraints, the guards didn't bother with the slots in the door anymore, it was too much hassle. They opened the door, even though I was standing on the other side and handed me the tray. It was a different guard every day. Word have gotten around because I no longer suffered from glares of disgust of contempt, they treated me like any of the other prisoners here.

From what I could tell, the prisoners were deserters, people convicted of treason and other military crimes. Made sense, fill a military prison with military criminals. I was the only person here however that received kind treatment.

A prisoner began to yell when they saw how I was being treated. "Oi! What the hell is that monster? Why is it being treated so damn special when it ain't even human?" My tail tucked at that I just went back into my cell with my food. "That's right, you mutt. Run away with your tail tucked." I didn't hear the rest, the guards had closed the door and all I heard was muffled yelling from the man. It had eventually died down, but I had lost my appetite. I just sat there poking the sandwich with my claw.

"It's not my fault." I muttered. I took a grape and popped it into my mouth, just something to put into my mouth. I rolled it around a bit before chewing it and swallowing. "I don't like being like this." I continued mumbling to myself for some time, occasionally eating a piece of fruit or taking a drink. I didn't touch the sand which, the greasy cheese would make me vomit at the moment. I would eat it another time.

I got up and decided to look out of my cell to see what was going on, I was tired of staring at the same old cell. Some prisoners were out of their cells and mulling around. They either talked with each other or just sat around waiting for whatever they were waiting for. It was just another boring scene, for intents and purposes, it was just another prison. The guards were on the upper level watching everything, making sure nothing went wrong. Well things went wrong for me.

The same prisoner as before saw me. He was about my height and had a dark tan and a shaved head. He wasn't even that large, not much in the way of muscles, just some prick who was mad at the world. He came over to the window I was looking through and started yelling again. Being much closer, I could hear him clearly and I had nowhere to go to get away.

"Look at you. What is it?" He pressed his face against the window. I went back and laid down on my bed. I did all I could to stop my tail from tucking again. I growled a bit and threw a pillow over my head. I didn't want to deal with this now. Only if I could get out there, I would tear him a new one. I would show him just what this dog could do and show him the horror that I had seen. I rubbed my hands, the claws on the ends of my fingers were sharp and I knew that even though I was the same mass as when I was a human, my muscles were more refined and capable. It wouldn't be hard to just shred the human to bits.

'Human.' I wasn't human anymore. I was one of those werewolves, a savage beast that was just a bit smarter.

"Look at me you mangey dog!" The voice cut into my thoughts. A low growl was slowly rising in my chest and my breathing grew heavy. "Stop hiding you mutt and look at me." That voice just kept talking, he wouldn't just shut up and leave. What did he have to gain from this? I would show him what he gained.

I threw the pillow at the window. He instinctively threw up a hand. I took advantage of the moment and rushed to the window and snarled. My fur raised and my ears pinned to the top of my head. The man jumped back with a screech and landed on his ass. His eyes were wide and a hand raised a bit to defend himself as if I would go right through the door and attack him. I would if I could.

I barked and he ran off, bumping into other prisoners who were just laughing at him. The noise that came from my own mouth snapped me out of it. It was so animalistic and savage. It was the same noise that I had grown to hate on the Eurasia and now I was making that same noise. I turned around and collapsed with my back against the door. "Oh, god." Was all I said. I had become one of them, an animal and had lost myself for a bit. Some part of me that was Jay Anderson had died at that moment. I yelled, more human like, but with a hint of a howl and broke down there.

I was still crumbled by the door when the lights went out for the night. I didn't care, I spent the hours going over my life, doing the best so I wouldn't forget them, my human life. I didn't want to lose myself again, it was the worst possible feeling. My childhood was tough with parents who weren't abusive, but not loving, but the memories were now more precious than anything in the world. It was all I had left.

"I'm not an animal." I told myself. "I'm not one of those things. I'm not." I crawled into the bed. "I can't be."