FSE

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The hours stretched out and spun together into a seamless whole as the night deepened. Sleep eluded Sharra's grasp as time dragged slowly onwards. While her body longed for the bliss of slumber her mind was restless, churning over the events of the evening. There was so much there for her to think about. She found the story of John's life to be fascinating. The words he had spun together gave her a glimpse from a distance of a very different way of living and she hoped he would eventually share more of that life with her. She liked this strange human and wanted to know more about who he was and the life he had led. She was having a hard time holding her curiosity in check but she could understand John's reluctance to talk about people and places that had meant a lot to him. She knew, as he did, that he was unlikely to ever see the faces of his friends or his old home again. The pain of loss was fresh and strong within him, not as strong as it had been for her but it was still there, nibbling away at him and casting part of his soul into shadow. Maybe he would someday feel comfortable enough with his new life to bring her into his memories of his old life and finally put the past to rest. It had, after all, worked wonders for her.

Many of Sharra's thoughts were drawn towards the lines John had drawn with a lump of charcoal on the rough wall of the cave. Something strange had happened there and now those lines called to her in barely audible whispers. There was Power there, something John had drawn out of himself and infused into the stone, something subtly different from the Power she drew upon from the natural world around her.

The fire had long since died down to a bed of red coals that glowed with surreal intensity in the darkness of the cave. John probably wouldn't have been able to see a thing but Sharra's better night vision allowed her to see quite clearly in the low light. There were times she could have sworn that some of those lines had moved. If she looked away, even for a second, some of those lines seemed to be in different spots and created subtly different images. When the dormant fire sprang to life with a sudden tongue of flame as some unburnt fuel was exposed, Sharra drew in a sharp breath as the tangle of charcoal lines moved and crawled in the dancing shadows. Power danced and flowed as John slept deeply across the fire from her. She turned her eyes to his face and searched his pale features. His face was slack, his expression peaceful. Sharra wondered if he even knew what he had created on the wall of the cave.

He seemed clueless about the nascent Power he had instilled into those lines. Sharra wasn't sure but it almost felt like John's drawings were coming to life in the light from the nearly dead fire. Sharra clenched her teeth and swallowed uneasily. It was at times like this that she remembered the Mother's words about her strange companion.

...The Link between you has awakened something that has lain deeply buried within him, I know you have felt it stir and begin its long crawl to the surface...

...Know these things Sharra: There is a Power within the human but it is a different Power than the one we are used to dealing with. Understand that he may use this Power in strange and unusual ways...

Sharra's eyes wandered back to John's face. What was it that The Mother of her people was hinting at, that John was changing somehow? Sharra shook her head. Knowing the God's love of riddles and mysteries it wouldn't be that simple. Of course John was changing, he knew it and had admitted that much himself. The real question, Sharra thought, was what exactly about him was changing and what the final outcome of that change would be. Things were so vague right now, the feelings so subtle that she couldn't make sense out of any of it.

Even though Sharra had felt the Power flow through John when he had touched that lump of charcoal to the wall of the cave, the human seemed to not even notice it. He had paid little attention to what he had created and none at all to the subtle traces of Power that clung to it. A 'doodle' he had called it, whatever that odd word meant, something created for no particular reason out of a bored mind and a restless pair of hands. Even his feelings betrayed the simple fact that what he had created on the wall of the cave was nothing special to him and Sharra was very surprised by that. Had one of her people created such a thing it would have been a serious matter for the only ones she had ever seen come up with images that had a similar feeling were Shamans, people who devoted their lives to the spiritual world. They were strange ones, permanently stuck halfway between the real world and the spirit world, not completely here nor there. They talked to the animals and the many spirits of the forest and sometimes, Sharra thought, to the voices inside their own heads. Eccentric Shaman may be but they were the earthly voices of the Mother, the Father, and the Watcher Above, and as such they were people of great importance and power among her race.

Was John destined to become Shaman? It was a possibility but it didn't feel quite right to Sharra as she searched her own feelings and the many intertwined strands of her Link with John. The human had been touched by the Gods but beyond that one tantalizing hint of great forces at work behind the scenes there was no telling what might happen. Waiting would be the only way to satisfy her curiosity and by the feel of things it was going to be a long wait. Sharra sighed and turned her attention back to the images on the cave wall. Her eyes wandered over the rough stone and maze of charcoal lines and she frowned. Some of those blasted lines seemed to be out of place again. She sighed and turned away, deciding at last that it would be a good idea to stop staring at that mess of lines before they tied her brain into one big knot.

Sharra crept soundlessly over to where John lay asleep beside the remains of the fire. He lay on his back and his right arm was crossed over his chest. A few toes poked out from under the deerskin that he had pulled over him. She crawled up next to him on all fours and stared for a long time at the marks that had been etched into his shoulder by none other than the Gods. Her eyes roved down from there over light brown skin and lingered long on the ugly scars that marred the skin on his forearm and the back of his hand. Life had not been easy on this one and the story of his earlier days had enthralled her. The Gods had tested him severely, as they had done to her, yet he had persevered. Her heart went out to him over the loss of his parents and the lack of any close family and wonder had set in at the solitary life he had chosen for himself. After barely surviving the last two years on her own Sharra could not comprehend how someone could willingly choose a life that offered little in the way of friends and had no room for family.

It was another reminder of just how different she and John really were. There were times in recent days that she had almost forgotten that point. The Link was bringing them closer together than she thought was possible for two totally different species. They would grow closer yet. The face of the moon was slowly turning through its many phases and before she knew it summer would be drawing to a close. Late summer would bring on other changes in their relationship and Sharra often wondered how he would react to her when the Mad Season clouded her mind and possessed her body. Physical contact often seemed to make John a bit uneasy and she worried that their differences might be too much to overcome. It was one thing to endure the Mad Season alone but to be bonded to a potentially unwilling male would be far worse.

Carefully, in an effort not to disturb John's sleep, Sharra turned in a circle a few times and eased herself down beside him. She yawned hugely and settled her head down on one arm. She blinked heavily a few times and slowly, finally, began to drift towards sleep.

She was almost out when something caught her attention. She had opened her eyes for a moment and shifted position lightly. The images on the wall beyond the fire suddenly seemed to glow slightly. Lines that had once been black stood out against the stone with an eerie greenish tint for the briefest of moments before fading away. Sharra's ears snapped up and her eyes opened wide. She sniffed uneasily in the suddenly very still and heavy air. Power crawled in the shadows and the fur on the back of her neck stood straight up. Had the fire flared up briefly and illuminated the wall, or had her half asleep mind just played a trick on her? She stared at the wall for a long moment and the charcoal lines didn't budge one iota and there were no further tricks of lighting. The sensation of large amounts of Power hiding somewhere near at hand remained strong, but there was something more than that. There was a presence in the cave with them, something strong, yet benign. She had the feeling that it observed patiently, waiting for something important to happen. With such strange things going on around her, Sharra found that she was no longer tired. She rested her muzzle on crossed arms and her unblinking amber eyes scanned the darkness for any further tricks of lighting. She sniffed carefully and her ears swivelled back and forth as she listened intently to her surroundings. After long minutes when nothing revealed itself to her senses she began to let herself slowly relax into the rest she so desperately needed. That weird flare of light must have been the fire, she thought as she drifted back towards sleep.

Beside her, John's body spasmed slightly. One foot twitched a few times and then his fingers jerked suddenly, both arms tensing for a moment before relaxing. His eyes darted around rapidly under closed lids and Sharra's ears perked up as she sensed the subtle touch of Power drift out of the shadows and wash over the human. Sensing something odd in the works, she probed the Link to get a glimpse of his dreams and recoiled suddenly when she encountered a wall that had been erected between them.

Sharra pushed herself up on one elbow and stared wide-eyed at the human. Everything else about the Link felt normal, everything but the wall that blocked her from his dreams. She pushed at it, prodded it, even tried to find a way around it, but the wall held fast. She didn't see how John could put up a barrier like that. She didn't think it was possible but as the presence in the shadows shifted, drawing closer, and more tendrils of Power invaded her human friend Sharra realized that he wasn't the one responsible for the barrier. There was only one being she knew of that had the power to do something like that.

Her breath caught in her throat and her mouth was suddenly dry. The marks on John's shoulder suddenly moved and shifted as the lines on the cave wall had. The black spiral began to rotate slowly and Sharra's thoughts seized up. Was that really happening or was her mind playing tricks on her in the gloom? She reached out for John's arm with a trembling hand but she froze in mid reach when the outline of the Tokran head on his shoulder began to glow in the shadows of the cave. Sharra's jaw dropped open and her ears went flat against the sides of her head. John's right hand balled into a fist and his entire arm trembled, corded muscles standing out beneath pale skin. An odd expression darkened his face and his teeth clenched so tightly that the lines of his jaw stood out through his beard. Sharra drew back from her friend in awe. There was nothing she could do but watch in stunned silence as her Linkmate was swept into a powerful dream.

****************

When the bright warmth of the summer sun crawled into the cave and roused Sharra from sleep the next morning, she stirred and stretched and discovered that she was alone. A searching hand reached out, probing the hides that lay in disarray next to her. There wasn't even a trace of warmth that lingered there. John had been gone for some time.

Odd that she hadn't woken when he had. She blinked the last of the sleep from her eyes and stretched, arching her back, arms and legs tensing for a brief moment before settling into quiescence. She yawned hugely once and stared at the ceiling for a long moment, thoughts stumbling around aimlessly in her head as her brain finally got on the road to waking up.

She'd been up late the night before and still felt a nagging fatigue. She hadn't really slept all that well either. Maybe that was the reason John had been able to slip away without waking her. Usually she was more alert than that, even when asleep. She yawned again and rolled on to her side.

The charcoal lines still covered the wall of the cave and Sharra's memory stirred. They were exactly as John had drawn them the night before and in the morning light they were solid, immobile. Thoughts collided in her half asleep head and Sharra began to wonder if what she remembered of the previous evening hadn't been a dream. Thoughts and memories of the night's weird events were just so scattered and vague...

The faintest traces of Power still clung to the charcoal lines on the wall. She had to concentrate hard to sense them but they were definitely there. She suddenly recalled the dream that had seized John during the night and pushed herself up on one elbow. She stared openly at the images the human had left on the wall of the cave as her memories caught up with her. The power there was slowly fading back into the stone but she suspected that a faint trace would linger for years. Something very important had happened here, a convergence of Power and the divine with John at the center. Sharra slowly realized that the images the human had scratched on the stone wall of the cave would remain here for ages as a testament to that fact.

Sharra's ears went back as the magnitude of the previous night's events slowly dawned on her. Such heavy thoughts were not for a sleepy mind. She ran a hand over her head and ears in an attempt to get some of the sleep from her pelt. She yawned again and blinked sleepily. She just couldn't wake up this morning. Maybe she needed some of this 'coffee' that John was always pining for in the mornings. He had mentioned that it was good for waking a person up.

John was around somewhere, she could feel his presence. The link was very quiet and John felt very subdued and withdrawn for some reason. His thoughts were bent inwards and there was something subtly different about him this morning. The dream that had taken him the night before had left its mark on him and she could feel the awe of it underlying his thoughts.

Sharra was suddenly fully awake and wondering where exactly the human had run off to. There had been a wall between them last night, something that had prevented her from seeing his dreams, something that should have been impossible. That wall was gone now and the link was back to normal but Sharra couldn't help but wonder what John had seen in his dreams. Whatever had come to him had affected him deeply, that much was easy to feel.

She was a bit worried about where her human friend was until she remembered that John often wanted to be alone when thoughts weighed heavily on his mind. She, on the other hand, wanted to rush out and find him and be there to help as he struggled to understand the dream. As Sharra finally rose to her feet, it took a lot of effort for her to not rush out of the cave and find John. She, despite her many thoughts to the contrary, would let her friend have the solitude he so desired in these situations. She would track him down later and see if he was feeling talkative.

Sharra stumbled over to her pack and rummaged about within it for a brief moment. She extracted the comb that John had given her and sat down cross-legged on the uneven ground. She began her morning ritual of combing her pelt and plucking out a few tufts of her old winter coat that had loosened during the night. She was almost done shedding last winter's extra insulation and that was something that could never be over soon enough. She made a wry face as she plucked a large tuft of fur from her shoulder. She stared at it for a moment and a soft smile slowly grew on her muzzle as she remembered how John had taken to helping her deal with her shedding recently. His gift of the comb had left her stunned and at a complete loss for words. She had never expected that he would do such a thing. He didn't seem the type for such gifts. He was too quiet, too aloof and often too nervous about getting close to her. However, he was unbelievably gentle when combing her and there was a tenderness to his touch in recent times that made her wonder if she was wrong about him. She reached out with her thoughts and found John. He was as he was earlier. Subdued and thoughtful, but a quiet strength radiated from him. Sharra smiled and withdrew from the Link without disturbing the human. She felt his warm touch as she retreated from the link and knew that he was alright. She smiled and relaxed somewhat, finally turning her thoughts towards other things when she realized that there was nothing to worry about.

She would have something to eat and then go find John.

**********

It was beautiful outside of the gloomy confines of the cave, one of those mornings that lets a person know that summer has finally arrived and isn't fooling around for once. The sun was high and bright in a cloudless blue sky and the breeze was gentle, warm and just strong enough to keep any of the bugs that had survived yesterday's snow away. Birds chirped, squirrels chattered in the distance and Sharra breathed deeply of the scents carried on the breeze. She sighed happily and let the tension she had felt earlier be carried away by the warm summer breeze. The indescribable blend of scents that curled around her was subtly relaxing. These were the scents of the forest, odours that had been etched into her memory in the days when she had been a tiny pup and had yet to learn how to speak. Even though there were more pines here than in the area where she had been born and raised, many of the other scents and sounds were the same. No matter what had happened, what had changed, such scents always reminded her that there were things that would never change and she took solace in that. John's unique scent was on the wind too and a grin spread along her muzzle. She wandered into the wind and let her nose and ears guide her to her friend.

John had not gone too far from the cave. When Sharra found him he was sitting on a ledge of weathered stone that jutted up from the mossy ground among scattered pines. His back was to her and as she approached her friend she saw why he had chosen this particular spot. The view of the valley and the distant mountains would be breathtaking from his stone perch, especially for one with his kind of eyesight.

He had brought his bow with him and it lay on the stone at his side. A few shavings were scattered across the rough stone but Sharra had the feeling that he hadn't touched the bow in quite some time. His knife lay untouched on the stone ledge beside the bow. He was quiet and still, a statue carved in flesh and bone that overlooked the valley below.

She sensed that his thoughts were bent inwards and she hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should disturb his introspection. Learning that John needed privacy and time by himself had been a hard lesson. She wanted nothing more than to be with him and keep him happy, however she had realized that there were times that she could not have both at the same time. Was this one of those times? It was a definite possibility but she wasn't certain.

She sniffed the air lightly, taking in John's scent. When she couldn't smell anything out of the ordinary there she touched the Link as slowly and as gently as possible, sending an unspoken question as to whether he wanted some company or not.

As the connection was made a frown passed over Sharra's face. John was deeply troubled on this beautiful morning, something she hadn't noticed earlier. She could sense the confusion that wracked him as he sat on his stone seat. Awe and disbelief stained his thoughts and he was trying hard to hide the helplessness that lay beneath everything.

Shara's frown deepened as she stood motionless behind him. She hadn't sensed anything like this from him since his first few weeks on this world. The dreams that had taken him last night must have been powerful indeed.

Cautiously, Sharra edged her way over to her friend. As she stepped up on to the stone beside him, she put a comforting hand on his shoulder. John turned his head to her as she eased herself down on the stone beside him. A strained smile creased his face for the briefest of moments before he turned his eyes back to the valley. The breeze toyed with his hair, sending errant strands dancing across his forehead and into his eyes. He sighed and raised a hand to smooth down his hair.

"Sleep well?" He asked in a flat voice as he stared off into the distance.

Sharra nodded. John didn't look at her.

"Lucky you." He grunted. Pale fingers scratched the copper tinged fur on his cheek. He sighed and after a moment he picked up his knife and the half finished bow. He peeled off a few fine slivers of wood here and there and checked those spots with a calloused thumb. Sharra could feel him trying to concentrate on the bow but that familiar intensity evaporated quickly and the bow and knife soon found themselves back on the stone, ignored once more. A long period of silence followed during which John hardly moved.

At length he spoke again. "I had this really wild and crazy dream last night." his eyes never once wavered from the horizon as he spoke.

"I..." His words trailed off and he shook his head. His eyes found Sharra's for a second and those pale blue-grey orbs were helpless. Sharra's ears went back slightly.

"I..." He began again and looked down in surprise as Sharra put her hand over his. He looked up sharply and his troubled expression relaxed momentarily, the familiar lopsided smile creasing his face for a second before fading away. Some of the tension she felt in him faded at that moment and Sharra grinned at that, her tail sweeping the stone behind her.

"I've never had a dream like that before. It was so incredibly intense, so real that I can't help but think that it was something more than a simple dream." John's pale eyes searched hers and she could see the uneasiness that lurked there. Sharra's heart went out to him, she wanted to ease his troubles but she didn't know how to do it or whether John even wanted her help. He must have sensed her indecisiveness. A weak smile flashed across his lips before he sighed and looked back to the panorama of distant mountains and blue sky.

"You once told me that dreams can have great significance among your people." John's eyes never left the horizon. "I'm starting to think that you could be right. That dream I had last night was just ..." John shook his head, "Mind-boggling."

Sharra considered his words carefully. "I understand how you feel. It was not so long ago that I had a powerful dream of my own." John turned his eyes back to hers and she saw realization dawn there.

"Yes, you know of it. The one that came to me when you were sick with the fever, the one where The Mother brought you back from the edge of the Twilight Trail."

John nodded slowly. His expression grew tight and something stirred to life in his eyes. He was silent for a long moment.

"A white wolf with blue eyes and a ring of red painted on her forehead." John spoke in a strained voice. "That's your 'Mother' isn't it?" His eyes remained fixed on the horizon but there was an undertone of disbelief carried in his words.

Sharra was at a loss for words. How could he know that?. It just didn't seem possible, John wasn't even Tokran! Sharra's voice failed her and all she could do was nod her head weakly as she stared at her human friend in awe. He had been marked by The Mother but Sharra had never expected that the Mother would reveal herself to the human.

"How...?" She asked in a stunned voice.

John didn't even turn his head.

"I saw her last night. She was ... Beautiful, compassionate." John shook his head slowly from side to side, a deep pain evident in his words. "She took me home Sharra."

"I saw people and places I never thought I'd see again. God it hurt to go through that." John held his head in his hands.

"That white wolf, she showed me things. Some of it I knew and understood, but other parts of it ..." John turned his head slowly to look at Sharra with haunted eyes. The muscles in his jaw worked spasmodically. A broiling, tangled wave of emotions flashed through the Link before John mastered himself. She could feel the pain that the dream had caused him, the turmoil that it had set loose in his soul. Her ears went back and she looked down at the ground.

John let out a deep sigh. He scratched his beard for a moment. Suddenly he smirked and shook his head. The sensations through the Link took a sudden turn for the better. Gone were the helpless, troubled feelings that had just been there.

"Ever have one of those days when you're pretty sure that you're roadkill in the ditch along the highway of sanity?"

Sharra just stared at him, not entirely sure what he was talking about and surprised at the sudden shift in his mood. He was still troubled but he had pushed those thoughts and feelings away quite effectively. Barely a hint of them showed on his face anymore, maybe there was a slight tightness of the lines around his eyes but other than that he looked and felt like his old self. She could barely even feel his earlier tension through the Link and she marvelled at his ability to quickly bury troubling thoughts and feelings like that. He would sort out such things on his own time and at his own pace. When he felt like talking about them, he would. It seemed an odd way of dealing with problems and Sharra wondered if all humans acted the same way.

John must have seen something amusing in her expression. He smiled at first and then chuckled, reaching over with a calloused hand to ruffle up her ears. Sharra froze at the sudden contact. She grinned hesitantly, wagging the tip of her tail, sensing that something wasn't completely right with her friend. John's grin got even wider and he laughed, but the laughter was forced and his eyes were helpless.

"Don't worry fuzzball, I'm not crazy yet." he paused for a moment and just as abruptly as it had appeared, his good mood evaporated and he sobered. "Well, maybe I'm just a little bit crazy," he muttered, gesturing with two fingers held barely a hair's breadth apart. "and it's all your fault too."

"All my fault...?" Sharra was slightly confused and a bit taken aback. Her ears wilted and she didn't really know what to think. The human kept his feelings well hidden from her and Sharra grew a bit uneasy. His gaze was steady and his eyes unreadable

"Before I met you I never knew that wolves could talk and I didn't have crazy dreams about alien goddesses and the extinction of the human race." There was a pause and a frown shadowed John's face as he clenched his teeth. "I think I could have done without that last bit of information." A taste of frustration boiled through the Link, growing, spreading through his thoughts like a dark cloud.

"Those things are hardly my fault." Sharra said reproachfully.

"Maybe, but who else am I going to blame them on out here?" Both of John's hands had balled into fists and there was a hard edge to his voice. His eyes were hard and his lips curled into something that resembled a snarl. There was a momentary flash of teeth. Sharra's ears snapped back and she was suddenly very nervous. John's anger burned in her mind.

"I'm getting a little pissed off with all the shit that's been going on inside my head lately. I've lost everything else and now it feels like I'm losing myself. I'm not the same man I used to be and that scares the hell out of me Sharra. I don't think it's going to get any better for me anytime soon either." John passed a hand down over his face and it paused on his chin for a moment. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The anger had been flushed from the lines of his face but a lingering hint of resentment still burned in his eyes.

Sharra's ears twitched in indecision and her shoulders sagged. Her tail lay limply on the stone behind her and she looked down and away from John. She couldn't hold his stare and she yielded to the human's dominant posture. She wagged the tip of her tail and held her ears pinned back, hoping to appease in some way this friend that she seemed to have disappointed. She couldn't look at him, and for a long moment she stared dully down at the ground between her toes.

John remained silent, brooding.

Sharra was at a loss as what to do. The bright sunshine and warm air mocked her suddenly dismal mood and she sighed deeply. John sat motionless at her side, eyes fixed on the horizon. The breeze stirred some of the wood shavings on the stone and Sharra watched them distractedly, wondering how things had gone so wrong on this beautiful morning. A hesitant touch on her shoulder distracted her and she looked up in surprise as John gently pulled her to his side. He was still uneasy about being in close physical contact with her and his sudden decision to draw her near was quite unexpected. He didn't say anything at first but bit by bit he opened up his feelings to her and what Sharra felt there made her understand that despite his words, he did not blame her for what had happened to him. Warmth returned to her soul and she smiled as she leaned into John, her tail wagging happily behind her.

The human sighed and she could feel him struggle to find the right words. She sensed that he was embarrassed by his earlier actions and that he was genuinely contrite. He pulled her closer, his arm curling around her side.

"I'm sorry Sharra," he spoke in soft words. He was so close that his breath tickled her ear and she could feel the deep vibrations in his chest as he spoke. "I've never been good when it comes to dealing with other people and I often forget that words spoken in a moment of frustration can hurt even when they were never meant to. That dream has me pretty torn up inside and I never meant to lash out at you." The smile had returned to his face and there was warmth in his eyes. "There isn't a single problem of mine that is your fault, understand that one thing above everything else. I guess I'm just a little worried that I'm losing control of my life and I can't say that I like that particular feeling." John frowned and stared off into the distance for a moment.

"There is only one thing that is completely your fault Sharra. You made a choice four months ago when a injured stranger was dumped into the snow at your feet." John's words trailed into silence and he squeezed her tighter for a moment, a soft smile lighting up the lines of his face briefly before fading with his mood.

"Some of what I saw last night leads me to believe that had I not been brought to this world I wouldn't have survived. I think that there was still a pretty good chance of that even after I was brought here." John shook is head slowly from side to side, a deep sigh escaping his lips

What John was telling her was very difficult for him. Every word, every sentence in his low, rumbling voice was a struggle and he was no longer hiding his feelings behind a stony exterior as he so often did.

"It was your decision to help the unknown creature that lay in front of you that gave me a second chance at living." John rested his head against hers and Sharra was amazed at the tenderness that flowed from him. "Everything else is insignificant compared to that and no matter what happens down the road you will always have my gratitude because of the choice you made that day."

************************

I wasn't sure how much I should tell Sharra about the vision I had the previous night, for I knew it was no simple dream.

I wasn't even sure I understood all of it myself but it was an astonishingly powerful experience, and one that left me feeling pretty torn up inside for weeks afterwards. Four months had passed since I had been brought to this world and I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never see my home again. To be sent back there, even in the depths of a dream, and see people and places that I had thought were forever lost to me was salt in a wound that had never really healed.

Why that vision came to me that night is something I've never been able to pin down but I suspect that it had much to do with the drawings I had done on the wall of the cave the night before.

I don't recall falling asleep, but I do remember being suddenly aware that things had changed around me. Sharra had disappeared and the air had become eerily still and thick. The fire burned high and bright but without a telltale pop or snap as the wood was consumed. Not a single sound reached my ears, it was an odd sensation, almost like I was locked away from the world in a bubble where sound wasn't allowed to exist.

The drawings I had made on the wall of the cave were sharply defined in the dancing orange glow from the fire. Subtle hints of motion drew my eyes to the images and I stared, mesmerized by the odd illusions created by coarse black lines shifting on a background of orange and grey.

There was no sound as I stood up. Everything felt ... strange, disconnected. As I moved past the fire I was surprised to find that there was no heat radiating from the flames. I contemplated that for a moment and passed a hand right through the flames. When nothing happened, I actually held my hand in there for a moment. There wasn't even the slightest sensation of heat. I withdrew my hand from the fire and eyed it curiously. There wasn't a mark on it and I waggled my fingers just to make sure that it was, in fact, my hand.

I frowned, thinking how strange that was, and carefully steered a wide berth around the fire, my thoughts drifting oddly in the surreal surroundings of the cave. The images on the wall called to me, mystery and the promise of adventure in their whispers.

My shadow drifted slowly over the rough strata of the rock wall. It flowed smoothly across the rough surface, belying the unsteady steps that I was taking. The lines that made up the images on the stone were strange in the shifting light and I had the weirdest feeling that they weren't really there at all. Some seemed to be hanging in mid air while others seemed to be embedded deep within the rock, not just on the surface. A few were razor sharp, well defined and immobile but others vibrated and shimmered, blurring the border between the real and the surreal.

I stared in fascination and raised a hand to one of the shimmering lines that looked like it was literally dangling in front of my nose. As my hand passed through it, the line twitched, rippling as a rainbow of colours sprang forth at the point of contact and coursed along its length. Awed, I could do nothing but watch as every intersection, every knot of lines spread the rainbow of shimmering colours through the entire image.

The bland surroundings of the cave melted away around as the images spun slowly, descending to surround me as the shimmering colours faded. Cocooned in soft white light, I gulped nervously as the drawings I had made on the wall of the cave deepened into three dimensions, becoming the ground, the horizon and the sky.

The images settled into quiescent solidity and I slowly turned in a circle, awed at the sensation that grew in my gut of being _inside_of my drawings. This was definitely one very screwed up dream.

Or was it? There were many dreamlike qualities about what was going on around me but I had more awareness of self and surroundings than any other dream I could recall having. I'd had vivid dreams before, ones that felt real, but I couldn't shake the feeling that this dream actually was real.

I stared upwards in fascination. The plane I had drawn above the skyline of a city was almost directly overhead. It slowly crawled across the sky, twin contrails stretched out behind it.

The skyline of the city itself was off to my left, the sun a black ball above the towering buildings. The images were far sharper and more well defined than my crude drawings on the wall of the cave could ever have been.

The image of my old house was to my right but strangely the images of me and my dog on the driveway were missing. I moved toward it and the image reshuffled, lines shifting, multiplying as detail was added at a staggering rate. I stopped, staring in awe as what had once been a crude charcoal line drawing transformed into a vivid colour photograph.

Every detail was perfect and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I hadn't laid eyes on this place in over four months but it was exactly as I remembered, and it actually hurt deep inside to see it here in front of me in such vivid detail. I had lots of memories of that old house, some bad, but many good ones. As much as I wanted to go there, to run in through the door and see if everything was as I had left it, I knew that there would only be pain and old memories waiting for me in empty hallways and dusty rooms. I didn't belong in that place any more and with a slow shake of my head I took a few steps away from the image, watching curiously as the vivid detail faded and lines shifted, returning the image to a rough charcoal line drawing.

I was at a loss as to what to do, what purpose I had in this dreamscape. My surroundings had stirred too many old memories to life and I sighed heavily, raising my eyes to watch the plane overhead glide towards the horizon. My mind emptied as I stared up into the sky and I became lost in the twin contrails trailing behind the jet high above.

Something brought me back to my senses after a long moment of empty thoughts. Something had just brushed against my mind, a subtle touch that was gone just as soon as it had appeared. A shiver went down my spine and a memory of icy cold and strange stars in the sky above flashed into my mind before fading back into the emptiness.

I turned, eyes searching my surroundings. There was something out there watching me, something powerful, but benign. My eyes came to rest on the drawing I had made of Sharra and I against a background of jagged mountains. I frowned and squinted at the image. There was something there, something that didn't belong. My feet began moving of their own accord, carrying me closer to the mystery.

There were two spots of colour hiding among the starkly contrasting white background and black lines, lurking just over the shoulder of my self portrait. My brow furrowed and I moved a bit closer yet. As I moved those two spots of colour moved with me, coming out from behind the figure. Two icy blue orbs with round black spots at their centers, I could see them clearly as they moved towards me. I stopped in mid-stride and so did those orbs.

Eyes!_I thought in wonder, _blue eyes! As soon as that thought passed through my mind something amazing happened. Those vivid blue orbs held my stare and the air shimmered and blurred around them, a face slowly taking shape out of the nothingness.

A white face, covered in fur, not pale skin. Erect triangular ears and a black nose on the end of a muzzle rounded out the face and it became real and solid as a body continued to form beneath it.

I gawked, mouth hanging open. Those vivid eyes pierced through me with a steady gaze. There was an incredible power behind that stare and I could no more resist it than I could fight against an entire army. I could feel those eyes cut right through me, through my memories, my feelings, through the darkest and most intimate corners of my mind. The pressure behind that stare suddenly faded and when it fled, I felt flushed and weak. My hands were trembling and I felt incredibly vulnerable. I stared helplessly at the being in front of me, half expecting an attack of some sort, and was caught completely off guard when it did something unexpected. Its tail began to wag and it smiled a genuine, friendly grin that softened its eyes and lit up its entire face.

The feeling of relief that passed through me at that moment was nothing short of incredible. I was suddenly relaxed and I felt a grin spread across my own face. I knew deep down that I no longer had anything to fear from this being.

It moved towards me, the soft smile on its features never wavering and I couldn't help but let my eyes wander over its figure. Here, I realized, was another member of Sharra's species, the only other one I had seen aside from my friend.

Female, I thought right away. Her body shape was similar to Sharra's but this one was a little taller and had an absolutely luxurious pelt of solid, unmarred white that brought to mind memories of fresh and pure winter snow. Her tail was a bit longer as well and it wagged gently as she approached. A ring of blood red adorned the short fur on her forehead and I could see amusement in her icy blue eyes as she watched me size her up. My eyes roved down from her face and I noted with some surprise that she had the exact same gold pendant hung around her neck that Sharra had. Nestled in the long and immaculate fur on her chest it sparkled and drew my curious eyes. I stared at it for some time before realizing where exactly I was staring at. This one, like Sharra, had also never heard of clothing and I felt a tickle of embarrassment creep into my thoughts and over my face before I manage to pry my eyes away from her chest. Female Tokran aren't built in quite the same way that human females are, but old habits die hard and lifelong lessons of modesty and decency are not easily unlearned.

The white wolf in front of me laughed, a glittering, happy sound of honest amusement.

"My, aren't you an interesting one." She said.

Her voice was absolutely wonderful. Strong, yet gentle in ways that reminded me of being a kid again and hearing my mother's voice as she tucked me into bed. I wanted to hear more of that voice, lose myself in its soft words and gentle tones. I actually closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before I opened them again. I couldn't keep a smile from my face.

The white wolf was no longer staring at me when I opened my eyes. She was surveying her surroundings with considerable interest, sniffing intently, ears twitching as she took in my dreamscape with senses I didn't have.

"It is amazing, is it not?" she asked without looking at me. There was wonder in her soft tones.

I couldn't find my voice, my mind was still reeling and I didn't have a clue what to say to this stunningly beautiful white female.

She smirked at me. "Not very talkative are you?" I opened my mouth but no words came out. I could only cock my head and stare at her. She laughed briefly at my expression and her eyes danced above a calculating grin.

"You have so many gifts, so many talents. It is unfortunate that speech is not among them."

I just stared at her for a long moment.

"Who are you?" I finally managed to choke out.

"Ah! He does have a voice!" The white one laughed and wagged her tail. "I am a friend. That is all you need to know for now." She returned her attention to the landscape of crude drawings around her.

I could see a small smile on her muzzle as her eyes took in the scenery. The tip of her tail still wagged slowly.

I sensed awe in her strong voice when she spoke again.

"In some ways I envy your species. Things like this," she gestured with a hand to the images that surrounded us, "came so easily to so many of your kind. The art, music, and literature your species produced are nothing short of astounding."

"My children are not so fortunate. Most do not have the depth of imagination that was so commonplace among humans. Only an extremely rare few have the necessary curiosity and imagination to come up with something like this, and even then..." She shook her head slowly and her tail wilted behind her.

The white female's mood was suddenly subdued, almost sad. I could sense that she was disappointed about something but that feeling disappeared as soon as I sensed it.

My children? That was an odd statement to make and it tickled my memory for a moment. I shook the feeling away as the blue eyed wolf turned to me, the friendly grin returning as her tail wagged behind her. "I think there some things that you need to see."

The white wolf held out her hands to me, the dark pads on her palms and fingers contrasting starkly against white fur. I stared at them for a moment, unsure. I had the feeling that there was nothing for me to worry about. This was turning into one very screwed up dream, I thought as I took the proffered hands.

Bright laughter rang out as the wolf took my hands in a strong grip.

"Are you certain that this is actually a dream?" she asked with a wink. I stared at her, mouth open as that statement sunk in. The wolf chuckled and raised her chin to stare straight up. I followed her gaze and was about to say something when a point of light sprang into existence directly overhead. It soundlessly erupted into a brilliant flash of light and then winked out of existence, leaving a spot of blue behind. That spot slowly grew, flowing down like honey over the bubble of sky above us, transforming the once grey background into a summer sky of vivid, clear blue. When the filaments of colour hit the plane flying overhead, it was transformed into a sunlit glint of metal with two cloudy white contrails streaming out behind it.

The colour dripped down further, changing everything it touched. The sun became a fiery yellow ball in an impossibly clear sky and crude line drawings became photo realistic images as the colour crawled in from the horizon towards the wolf and I. The white one's blue eyes were closed and she had an odd grin on her muzzle. Her grip on my hand remained as strong as ever and I watched with some trepidation as tendrils of vivid colour closed in on us from all sides.

The ground we had been standing on was a slab of featureless grey but as the strands of colour reached us that grey was transformed into concrete and asphalt, grass and trees. A rush of warm air enveloped us and the background noises of the city rang in my ears for the first time in four long months. The odours of sun baked asphalt and car exhaust stung my nose. The wolf released my hands as a sudden frown came over her face and her eyes snapped open. I backed away from her unsteadily and stared in wonder at my new surroundings.

I was home! For the first time in four very long and very difficult months I was actually home! I never thought I would ever see this place again, and the pain of actually being there was like a dagger of ice in my heart.

I knew my surroundings like the back of my hand. I was just down the road from my house and I turned in that direction on unsteady legs. The wolf moved up beside me and I could see her nose wrinkle as she scented her surroundings. A beat up mid eighties vintage Chevy truck roared by on the street beside us and her ears snapped back as she watched it recede into the distance. I turned and followed it, the wolf trailing at my heels, her claws clicking on the concrete sidewalk.

I stopped suddenly. Something had shifted around me. I had taken hardly two steps and I was in front of my house. I turned and looked behind me. I had been over a block away from this place two steps ago yet here it was right beside me. The sun glinted off of the windows and the big birch tree in the front yard showed signs of a few leaves turning over to autumn gold.

I stood unsteadily on the sidewalk at the end of my driveway, all sorts of old memories and feelings tangled up inside of me. I wanted to go there but I didn't want to. I didn't know if I was strong enough to deal with what I would find there. Would I find my old mutt waiting for me in the backyard, greeting me with excited whining and dancing around ecstatically as she waited for me to unlock the gate? I didn't know if I could take that. Despite what some people had thought of me over the years, I wasn't completely devoid of emotion. I just hid it better than most.

I don't know how long I stood there in the driveway, paralyzed with indecision. A soft touch on my shoulder brought me back to reality and made me turn to the white wolf that had remained silent at my side for so long that I had almost forgotten about her.

"You should go." She said softly. There was compassion in her quiet voice and sympathy in her blue eyes.

I nodded slowly and stared at the ground for a moment before raising my eyes to the place where I had spent six years of my life.

I took a slow step forward. The white one's touch lingered on my arm for a moment before falling away. My next step forward was less uncertain.

I kept thinking that this couldn't be real, that there was no way that this was possible, but everything was so perfect. I could hear a lawnmower running as someone a few doors down cut their grass. A car door slammed close by and I turned towards it. My neighbour waved to me as he left his car and walked towards his house. Mike was his name, he was a good guy and had lived with his girlfriend in the house next door for a couple of years. I waved back hesitantly, still not really sure if I was actually there or not. After Mike had disappeared through the door of his house I remained rooted to the spot for a long moment. My mind spun in dizzying circles as it tried to figure out exactly what was going on. This dream was too damned real, I muttered to myself before continuing up my driveway. The wolf followed behind me at a respectful distance, looking very out of place and slightly nervous in suburbia.

My heart was in my throat when I reached the gate in the fence beside the garage. I couldn't believe I was actually there. So many times I had stood in this exact place in my dreams. Here I was again but this time things were different. My surroundings were realistic to a degree that I hadn't experienced since I had actually been here four months ago. Everything was perfect, from the aging shingles on the garage roof to the dark brown paint on the fence that was slowly peeling under the late summer sun.

Numb fingers unlatched the gate with a rattle from the corroded latch. Rusty hinges squealed and I floated through the open gate as if I were a ghost. The white wolf edged in behind me, keeping a respectful distance as waves of nostalgia threatened to sweep me away.

The grass was unkempt and well overdue for a date with the lawnmower. An ancient and battered barbecue rested on a deck of aged cedar planks. A few weeds and strands of long grass lined the edges of the deck. An old doghouse was up against the wall of the house, right next to the deck.

I stared at that doghouse for a long while, hardly daring to believe that an old friend might be waiting in there for me. After a moment's hesitation, I whistled gently, not expecting a response but hoping desperately that I would get one.

I wasn't disappointed and my heart lurched when I heard claws scrape on wood and saw a black muzzle tinged with the grey of old age emerge from the doghouse.

Blinking sleep away from her eyes, a dear old friend crawled slowly out of her doghouse, yawned, and shook herself. She stared sleepily at me for a moment, tail wagging slowly before she trotted over to me on stiff legs.

I was down on one knee before I knew it, old Mutt leaning into my side as I worked my fingers through her long black coat. There were almost tears in my eyes.

"Hello, you old fuzzball." I managed to choke out, my voice cracking. "How ya been?"

I got a whine and a quick lick on the chin for a reply. The white wolf stood silently off to the side, a guarded expression on her features.

I gave Mutt a quick scratch behind the ears and stood up slowly, a little bit overwhelmed at what was going on. I had longed for a return to this place but now that I was here it was bittersweet. I knew deep down that this was only a dream, that nothing here was real and that I could never truly return to this place. That knowledge tore me up inside.

I stared down at my dog for a moment, that faithful friend who had been at my side since I was a teenager. She arched her back and then stretched out her front legs with a grunt. I could hear her claws scrape on the aged deck. Too real, I thought to myself.

My eyes found their way over to the white wolf. She regarded me silently with an unreadable expression on her alien face.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked in a pained voice.

There was sympathy in her cool blue stare. Her ears were back slightly and the expression that suddenly crossed her face was one of deep sadness.

"I did not bring us here." She said quietly. "You did. I only showed you the path that led to where you wished to go."

I hardly even registered the sudden change in my surroundings. The backyard was gone and I found that I was suddenly standing in my kitchen. The air was stale and dust danced in a shaft of evening sunlight coming in through the dirty window above the sink. A couple of empty pizza boxes were stacked on the counter next to a coffee maker half full of ancient coffee. Dirty dishes were heaped in the sink and a dusting of crumbs laced the stained counter top. The lights were off and as my eyes adjusted to the gloom I could see small piles of shed dog hair pushed into the corners of the room. The small and battered kitchen table had a layer several inches thick of mail, empty beer cans, flyers, and old newspapers yellowing in the still air. A calendar featuring scantily clad women hung on the wall above the table, pages slowly curling as the shaft of sunlight crawled across it.

Claws clicked on ancient linoleum and Mutt wandered out of the kitchen and down the hallway, heading off to her favourite spot on the couch in the living room. I stared emptily at my white companion for a moment before following the dog.

The living room was much the same as the kitchen, stagnant, empty, and dark. The old hardwood floor creaked under my feet as I moved into the room like a lost spirit. Dust mixed with dog hair covered everything and muted daylight crawled weakly in past the curtains drawn over the big picture window. Mutt was already curled up on the couch and looked about ready to fall back asleep at any moment. An empty plate laced with crumbs and a half eaten pizza crust sat on the coffee table next to an empty beer can. The remote for the TV lay next to it. Wilted plants perched on stereo speakers haunted the corners of the room. I backed out of the room slowly and stared down the hallway. The door to my room was partway open. Clothes were scattered on the floor next to the edge of the bed. I took a step in that direction but stopped, my foot hovering uncertainly in the air. I would only find much of the same in that room and I realized there was no need for me to go there. I wandered back into the living room and sat down on the couch beside the dog. She looked at me through rheumy eyes and thumped her tail against the couch a couple of times. I gave her a quick pat on the head and leaned back. Dust swirled around my head as I settled into the upholstery and I was half tempted to turn on the TV. The white wolf stood in the entrance to the living room, eyes wandering over the furnishings. She was quiet and lost in her own thoughts by the look of things.

This place was a dump, I suddenly realized. I was a bachelor and more often than not a bachelor is the polar opposite of 'neat freak' and this place showed it. I had lived a solitary, almost meaningless existence within the walls of this old house for five years with an old dog and a TV as my only companions. There was nothing here for me anymore, and the more I thought about it there never had been anything here for me other than a lonely, dead-end life. The wolf turned her head to me as I sat there thinking about what had been. There was understanding in her eyes and she nodded slightly. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

My hand went out to the old friend curled at my side. She was the only thing I missed here, the only reason why I had come back to this place, I understood that now. I stroked my fingers through her thick pelt, a sad smile on my face.

"Goodbye old friend." I whispered. "I've gotta go and I won't be coming back. I really wish I could bring you with me but I can't." My words trailed into silence as I stroked my fingers through her long fur.

It was really hard for me to find the words I needed and my voice was barely more than a whisper. "You'll be okay you old mutt, I'm sure one of my buddies will come and take care of you." I smiled sadly as her tail thumped against the couch. All I could do was hope that she understood.

"I'll miss you, you old hairball. You were one of the best friends I ever had." And with a last scratch around the ears I stood up and headed out of the room, the wolf regarding me with haunted eyes. I moved down the hallway, eyes fixed straight ahead, down the steps and to the back door. I placed my hand on the knob and only hesitated for a second before swinging it open and stepping from one place of memories to an entirely different one.

Cold air stung my nose and eyes. Harsh white light shone down from above and a few snowflakes whirled down past my head. Laughter and excited voices reached my ears as I glided slowly in the cool air.

A happy grin lit up my face. Ice under my skates, a hockey stick clenched in my gloved hands. Here, truly, was something I had missed. Brightly coloured figures danced and curled around me, steel skate blades grating harshly as they bit into the ice. There was the crack of a shot and a clunk as the puck missed its mark and slammed into the boards. The rebound came out from behind the net and I chased after it, feeling the welcome burn in my legs and chest as I sprinted down the ice. I reached the puck first, narrowly avoided a check and cut hard behind the net. Head up, I scanned for opportunities as players danced and curled on the ice. An opposing player closed in on me and I chipped the puck up the boards to an open team member. He danced in from the boards, went around two players and lifted a sweet backhand shot above the goalie's shoulder. A cheer went up from the rest of the team and a few bystanders. I moved over to congratulate the scorer and knew before I got there who it was.

Kevin was an old friend of mine, and a phenomenal hockey player. I gave him a high five and grinned happily as the rest of the team came in to congratulate him. Rodney was there too, and Stan, Andrew, and Mike. All of my old crew, good buddies that had been a big part of my life before I was stolen away from it.

For one delicious moment it was like I had never left. After a brief celebration we went back to work as the opposing team carried the puck up the ice. We spread out, Mike and Stan falling back on defence as Kevin, Andrew and I tried to hold up the opposing team at center ice. I went one on one with a big and agile player as he drove hard over the red line and came down the wing. He chipped the puck through my skates and drove past me as I turned to chase. I couldn't catch him and he pulled a good move to get around Mike and get a shot on the net. The goalie kicked the rebound into the corner and Stan whirled in to scoop it up. I cut hard, heading back up towards center ice. Stan chipped it up to me and I caught the pass in my skates, kicking it out to my stick. I sprinted hard, streaking over the red line, Kevin keeping pace with me on my left. The defenceman in front of me backed into his end of the ice quickly, eyes alert as I tried to stickhandle around him. I faked a shot and knocked the puck over to Kevin as he stormed in over the blue line. He sprinted hard down the wing, the other defenceman staying right with him. I cut towards the net and Kevin made an unbelievable pass that ended up squarely on my stick. I quickly snapped the puck on net and there was a loud ping as it rang off of the post behind the goalie and skittered away across the ice. It was dug out of the corner by the opposing team and thrown down the ice. Breathing hard but grinning like an idiot, I glided over to the bench and let another player take my place in the game.

It felt so good to be out here again. Everything was perfect, from the harsh glare of the mercury lights over the outdoor rink to the few snowflakes that drifted down from a dark sky. My breath clouded around my head as I watched the play on the ice.

"This is a fascinating game." The white wolf was behind me, both of her forearms resting on the top of the boards as she watched the hockey being played in front of her. She looked very out of place among the other few spectators clustered up to the boards. Her blue eyes were full of curiosity as they followed the puck as it bounced from player to player.

"This is the best game ever invented." I grinned

"I never thought your people could move so fast."

I had to chuckle at that. "The skates help."

The wolf nodded slowly. "I think my children would enjoy this game." I laughed at that as a picture of a bunch of wolves on skates flashed into my mind.

"I think they would probably be good at it too. I've seen Sharra run. She'd be a blur on skates and I doubt anyone would be able to catch her."

The wolf grinned. "You are probably right."

I smiled in return and silence took over as the grin faded from my face.

"Some of the best days in my life happened out here, you know." I said quietly. A pair of blue eyes regarded me steadily. "I pretty much grew up playing this game. Before my mom died, my dad used to make a small rink in the backyard every winter. I learned how to skate there and developed a real love for the game. When the backyard rink became too small for me I started playing at a nearby outdoor rink. I was still too young to be able to tie my skates tight enough back then. I had to get one of my parents to lace me up and then I'd put on my blade guards and walk down to the rink." I shook my head slowly as old memories swirled in my mind. "I made some good friends through this game and had a lot of fun doing it." I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked away from the game being played on the ice. "I will miss them." I said softly as I looked down at the ground.

I felt a soft touch on my arm and raised my eyes. The white one looked at me, a soft smile on her muzzle and a knowing spark in her eyes. She wagged her tail and gently pulled at my sleeve. I turned with her pull and found myself in yet another familiar place.

A dark and snowy evening, Christmas lights glowed on snow covered evergreens. Cars were parked in nearly every available place along the looped driveway. The lights were on in the house and as I approached the front door I could hear the hum and thump of music and muffled voices from within. This was Stan's house and the parties that he and his wife hosted were legendary. I juggled the six pack of beer and bottle of rye whiskey I held in my hand and rang the doorbell. The door swung open within seconds and I was greeted with the smiling face of Stan's wife Kim. I knocked the snow off of my boots and stepped through the door. Kim gave me a warm hug and told me the rest of the guys were down in the basement. I greeted the rest of the girls sitting around the island at the kitchen table and made my way down to the basement. The big screen showed visions of hockey and there was the crack of billiard balls as Mike and Stan duelled on the pool table. I shook a few hands, shouted out a few good-natured insults and stuffed my six pack in the fridge behind the bar. The bottle of rye found its into the company of a myriad of assorted booze bottles perched on top of the bar. I dumped a handful of ice in a tall glass and poured myself a stiff rye and coke from an open bottle that was sitting near at hand. A couple of kids chased each other through the room and there was a sudden cheer as a goal was scored in the hockey game being played on TV. Mike and Stan joked back and forth over their game of eight ball and I sat down with Andrew and Rodney and joined in as they told tall tales and old stories.

The white wolf haunted the background, unheard, unseen and watching everything with curious blue eyes. I half wondered if I should pour her a drink.

The alcohol soon set a warm glow alight in my veins. Laughing and grinning, I took my turns at the pool table against my buddies. I won a few games, lost a few more and then spent a good while on the couch in front of the big screen, jostling and joking with my friends as we cheered on the Oilers as they played the Flames.

The party wound down a bit with the end of the hockey game. The bottle of whiskey I brought had been tapped and was now down past the halfway mark. A plate of food was handed to me and I happily dug into it. After the food was done, it was back to the pool table. I played a few more games and had another drink. As people got tired the party wound down further and the room grew quiet. As I leaned on the bar and swallowed the last of my drink I realized that it was time for me to go. The wolf was beside me and I felt her soft touch on my arm as I stood up from my seat. She smiled at me, a soft smile full of feeling and wagged her tail before turning away and leaving me with the friends I had missed so much.

My buddies crowded around me as I said my goodbyes. We shook hands, made promises to get together again soon and wished each other well. I knew, as I made my final goodbyes before heading up the stairs, that I would never see them again. That knowledge tore a jagged hole in my heart and I could hardly find the strength to get my feet moving.

I floated up the stairs in a daze, drifting aimlessly through the house. I orbited the island in the kitchen, gave my hugs and said my goodbyes to the wives and girlfriends of my buddies and gravitated to the front door. I slipped on my boots and stepped out into a cold winter night. A sad sigh escaped my lips and I slowly trudged out to my truck.

I stopped for a moment, standing motionless in the snow as the cold air seeped in through my jacket. I stared upwards at a sky full of glittering stars and then back over my shoulder at the house I had left. I stared at the lights burning behind windows for a moment before turning back towards my truck. One chapter of my life had come to an end but another was just beginning. I hoped that someday I would find in it at least a fraction of the happiness that I had to leave behind me in this place.

The wolf waited for me beside my beat up old truck, a white shadow against the night background. After everything I had been through I was lost and hurting more than I had been in a long time, but I was also grateful. I realized through the pain that I had been given a chance to see those that I had known and loved one last time and say my farewells to them. As much as it pained me to go through it, I understood what a great gift I had been given even if it was all just a figment of my imagination. I leaned up against the fender of my battered old Chevy and stared at the Christmas lights glowing brightly on the spruce trees on each side of the driveway. It took me a while to sort out my thoughts.

"I want to thank you," I said to the wolf in a quiet voice, "I didn't understand at first, but I see now that you have given me a chance that I never thought I'd have." I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the ache in my heart. I felt tears well up and had to fight hard to choke them back down.

"Saying goodbye is an incredibly tough thing to do, but I understand now that it's far easier than never being able to say goodbye at all."

At those words, the wolf beside me began to wag her tail. Her eyes danced above a soft grin and I suddenly felt the ache in my chest fade.

"That is not an easy thing to understand." she said softly, and I nodded at her words.

The wolf looked at me intently, her icy blue eyes piercing right to my very core. "There are few people that can readily embrace that reality even when they absolutely must in order to move on with their lives. Most find it very difficult to let go of the people and places in their past that they can never return to. You have seen it in Sharra and I was not sure how you would react." Her eyes became calculating, sizing me up.

"You dealt with it far better than expected, and that gives me hope for your future."

I had no reply for that, I just stared off into the darkness, lost in my own thoughts.

I don't know how long I remained silent for. It must have been some time though for when I came back to my senses the wolf and I were back at the beginning.

The fire burned brightly and cast a dancing yellow-orange light on the walls of the cave. My drawings surrounded me, moving and shifting in the firelight. I was sitting cross-legged in front of the fire. The white wolf was directly opposite the fire from me, sitting in a similar manner, her tail curled around her.

"You have long questioned why you are here on this world." The wolf said in a low voice.

I nodded slowly, anticipation suddenly tightening my chest. My eyes searching her face for clues as to what she was going to say. Her expression was unreadable and her eyes steady.

"The truth of the matter is that you chose to be here."

I stared at her incredulously for a moment as that statement sank in. "I chose to be here?" I said hotly, eyes narrowing and teeth clenching as anger suddenly boiled up. "I never wanted any of this!" I snarled, gesturing to my surroundings. "Just when the hell did I choose to be ripped away from my life?"

The wolf's ears went back and she averted her eyes for a moment. "Think carefully and you will remember." She said softly. "You have dreamed of it several times over the last four months."

Anger still burned hotly within me and I was about to lash out with words when an image popped into my mind.

Strange stars in a deep sky. Cold, so very cold. Can't move, hurt bad. Whispers from above as strange light played on the snow and acrid smoke drifted over me. Hard to think as the cold slowed my mind. Reaching out for the promise of warmth from those strange stars as icy blackness closed in. Darkness or light, I had made my choice, and the light stole me away from the cold and the dark...

My mouth hung open and I stared at the wolf across the fire. She nodded and returned my stare with sympathetic blue eyes.

"You would have died in the snow that night. You chose life over death, light over darkness, and you were brought here for someone else to make a choice of their own." The wolf smiled and waved her arms over the fire. The flames swirled and twisted, a familiar figure solidifying between us as the glow from the fire faded away.

Sharra stood in front of me, her image perfect in every detail. The white one rose to her feet and I slowly followed suit.

The white wolf had a smile on her face as her eyes rested on Sharra. Those eyes soon turned to me and I saw hope and joy in those blue orbs.

"This one had a similar choice to make as you had. Her strength was fading and it was only a matter of time before she wandered away from the cabin and let the forest claim her life." The white wolf bowed her head sadly. "I could not let that happen. Sharra holds a very special place among my children."

Those blue eyes found me and the weight of the stare behind them held me pinned motionless.

"Your survival was by no means assured when you arrived on this world. It was Sharra's choice to help you that set everything in motion and returned life not only to you, but to herself as well." The wolf smiled at me, the first genuinely happy smile I had seen from her in some time. "There is now hope for the future. Just as Sharra is special among her people, you are among yours. That is one of the reasons why you are here."

My brow wrinkled. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Laughter and a glittering smile was my reply. "I cannot tell you that, but rest assured you will understand it someday. While nothing is ever set in stone, I will say that the future for the two of you holds great promise." A knowing smirk remained plastered on her muzzle as her tail wagged behind her.

I shook my head and sighed. "Great, more mysteries to drive me crazy." I muttered under my breath. The wolf chuckled and twitched an ear.

"Yes, more mysteries. At least you will not be bored."

It was my turn to chuckle. "That hasn't really been a problem over the last few months, you know. Furball here," I stabbed a thumb at the image of Sharra, "has made my life pretty interesting."

Hands on her hips, the white wolf grinned at me. Her tail wagged faster and her eyes positively glowed.

"After everything I have seen and felt from you, I can understand why she likes you. You may be very different than we are but you are a good person at heart."

"She ain't so bad either, you know." I said softly as I stared at the image of my friend. The white wolf positively beamed, but after a moment her bright smile began to fade, a soft expression flowing over the lines of her face. When she spoke again, the wolf's voice had become uncharacteristically subdued. I looked at her quizzically.

"She cares for you a great deal, you know. As hard as it is for you to understand that, you must try. Do not be afraid to open up to her, to be close to her, to give her the close contact she craves from you. I know that showing such emotion and closeness is difficult for you but you will not regret doing so. Your friend is going to need you more in the months ahead than ever before and paying attention to her needs will not be without rewards on your part." The white one's eyes found mine and she wore a silly smirk on her face. I raised an eyebrow at her expression and her words. There was something in her eyes, something I couldn't quite pin down.

Her expression faded and she sighed, walking slowly around the image of Sharra, her eyes suddenly lit with an inner glow. "Sharra is unique, but she is also fragile. The things she has experienced in her short life have made her vulnerable and uncertain. Despite her inner strength, she can easily be hurt by the wrong words or actions on your part. Be gentle and patient with her and you will start to see some of the person she truly is." There was a long moment of silence before the white wolf spoke again.

"I understand that you are not of her species and that many of her ways may seem strange to you. She will need things from you in the future that will be ... difficult for you to comprehend and perhaps even harder for you to fulfill. However, try to keep an open mind about the possibilities that will reveal themselves to you. The bond between the two of you is stronger than you can imagine, and it grows deeper with each passing day." She paused for a moment and gave me a knowing grin.

"With a little luck and a bit of work on your part, you may find in her something that has been missing from your life for a very long time."

I nodded slowly, lost in thought, trying hard to sort out this strange creature's quiet words.

I remained lost in thought for a long moment, trying to piece together all of the things that this white wolf was telling me. I didn't know what to make of a lot of it but I was absolutely sure of one thing now. There was no way in hell that this was just a dream.

A chuckle brought me back to the here and now.

"Really?" The white wolf smirked. "You just figured that out now?" She laughed at the surprised look on my face.

Was she reading my mind?

"I know you have an idea of who I am by now, and knowing that, you should not be surprised that I can hear many of your thoughts."

I nearly choked and I stared at the white wolf in wonder.

The Mother!

"Guilty as charged." She nodded with a smirk.

I stared at her, mouth open, totally at a loss for words. So many thoughts whirled through my head. This was some kind of Goddess ... And I bore her marks! The spiral pendant around her neck was identical to the one tattooed on my shoulder. The red ring on her forehead matched the one on the outline of a Tokran head below the spiral on my arm.

"A quick thinker too, I see." She sized me up with calculating blue eyes. "After everything I have seen I know now that you are the right person to bear my marks."

My knees went weak and sat down with a thump. I couldn't quite believe what was going on. This wolf that had guided me in a wrenching trip through memory lane was some kind of deity! I didn't know what to think, I couldn't think, I just stared at her.

She eased herself down beside me and put a compassionate hand on my shoulder. "I know that this knowledge is not easy for you to comprehend. There is no reason to fear me. I am here as a friend, trying to help you in a time of need."

I couldn't find any words to say. I just sat there, my mind reeling.

The Mother's voice was gentle in my ear. "There is one last thing you should see," she said, "and it may be more difficult for you than everything else you have endured so far on this night."

"Are you ready?" She asked me with a steady stare.

I nodded slowly, not really feeling quite like myself. "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I replied, resigning myself to my fate.

The white one paused for moment and stared at me with those piercing blue eyes. I could see sadness in there, sadness over what she was about to put me through. I took a deep breath and waited.

The image of Sharra faded away as the wolf gestured to the drawing of the city skyline. In the blink of an eye those images of human civilization transformed into reality. I stood up uncertainly as buildings and streets raced towards me.

I found myself standing on a crowded sidewalk, people and vehicles frozen in action on all sides.

The wolf stood beside me, surveying the scene with sad eyes.

"Despite what you may think about the demise of your species you should know that it was not wholly their fault. Two critical events occurred that were completely out of their control."

"The first one happened about forty years into your future. A very dangerous disease evolved in southeast Asia. Despite the best efforts of your people to contain it and develop a cure, it escaped and mutated into a form that was easily spread from person to person. Within a year it had killed over eighty percent of the people on your world."

The white wolf's voice became barely a whisper. "There was nothing your people could do. The disease was too aggressive, mutated too quickly, and killed in a matter of days. Entire cities became deserted wastelands as people fled from any possible source of infection."

The people frozen in time around us slowly began to fade away. The buildings became weathered, cracks appearing in concrete and stone, broken windows appearing in what had once been unmarred walls of glass. Vehicles rusted in silence under the watchful eye of the sun.

"Many of your cities were abandoned and much of your technology forgotten as the survivors of your race were reduced to a hard and solitary existence. Human society changed forever as the world economy imploded and the threat of disease made people wary of being too close together."

"A few wars were fought as opportunistic nations sought to gain control over resources and populations ravaged by disease, further decimating the survivors of your race." The Mother shook her head sadly. "They would have survived though. Despite their violent streak, your people were quite resilient and innovative. Unfortunately the final nail in the coffin for your species came nearly a century after the pandemic and the wars that followed it."

The wolf waved an arm at the city skyline and a bright light sprang to life in the sky. It stretched over the ruins of the city. I knew it right away, a comet, and it had to be close to be visible in the daytime sky.

I stared at it for a long time as the implications of what I was seeing slowly sank in. "It hit the Earth didn't it?" I asked slowly.

The Mother could only nod as the sky darkened. The comet streaked down through the atmosphere, a white hot lance of fire that left a glowing trail behind it as it tore through the air. A brilliant fireball lit up the horizon, slowly fading into an angry red after a long moment. Shortly thereafter the ground rumbled and the few clouds above twisted and distorted as the shock wave from the impact rushed in, a wall of dust and debris obscuring the horizon. In the blink of an eye, the city was levelled and the shock front swept past us.

There was nothing left behind it. The Earth had been swept clean.

The images faded and I hardly noticed that we had returned to the cave once more. The fire burned brightly between the Mother and I. I was lost in my own thoughts for a long time and when I finally looked up at the white wolf she had a pained expression on her face. She stood up and paced back and forth in front of the fire.

She spoke slowly, quietly. "The impact of that comet threw massive amounts of debris into the atmosphere and precipitated an ice age that lasted for millennia. A few of your species lingered on near the equator for a few decades after the impact but they slowly faded out of existence and into memory as the climate became too harsh for them to survive."

"Only a few important artifacts left by your people can still be found. All others were reclaimed by the Earth as it recovered from the wound inflicted by the comet."

"Life, being the resilient, opportunistic thing that it is, never was completely destroyed by the impact, and was only slowed down by the resulting ice age. As the ice retreated, plants and animals recovered and repopulated areas that had been covered with ice for a very long time. My children grew out of this explosion of life, evolving and living in cool northern forests instead of hot African plains as your ancestors had."

The Mother was quiet for a long moment before she smiled weakly at me. "My children are like your people in so many ways, yet in others they are so incredibly different." She shook her head slowly. "It was a gamble to bring you here but the potential rewards far outweigh the risks involved."

She moved over to me and knelt in front of me, holding out both of her hands to me. She had a forlorn expression on her face that looked really out of place on someone who was supposed to be some kind of Goddess.

I looked at her hands and then up to her face, not comprehending what was going on.

"I hope you can forgive me for allowing the circumstances that brought you to this world, and for the things that are going to happen as a result. The road ahead will not be an easy one for you." Her eyes were locked on mine and I could see in those pools of icy blue that she did truly regret what had happened to me as a result of her actions.

The Mother's statement took me completely by surprise. She was asking me for forgiveness? She was a Goddess! Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around?

I considered her words for a long time, wondering if she was reading my thoughts. While I was still a little angry at being ripped away from my life, the Mother had made me understand that I had chosen this life over death. While she may have made the trip between my old life and this one possible, the decision to do so sounded like it weighed heavily on her. Despite her regrets, the final choice had still been mine to make, for better or for worse.

I gently took the Mother's hands in mine.

"I guess we've all had to make some difficult choices." I said softly. "While I do miss my old life, this new one isn't too bad, and as far as I'm concerned it's definitely better than being dead." I grinned at the wolf.

"I understand now that I made the choice to be here and I don't hold anything against you in that respect. Life is what we make of it and agonizing over past decisions doesn't do anyone any good. I have to make the best of the here and now and hope that the future will work itself out."

At my words, a fierce smile was set free on the white wolf's face. Her tail wagged so fast that it was nearly a blur.

"You have made me very proud and I am truly glad that I have marked you as one of my own." There was a glint in her eyes as I digested that statement.

"Wait, whaddya mean, 'one of your own?'" The Mother laughed brightly and grinned a knowing grin. My hands started to grow warm in her grip and her eyes danced. "Change is the only constant in life, you have said so yourself on many occasions. Remember those words well in the months ahead, for what you feel stirring within you is only the beginning. " I just stared at her, uncomprehending, my jaw hanging open. "Time for you to go back." She laughed.

I tried to say something else but the scene around me faded away, the white wolf's chuckling ringing in my ears.

I woke up to a cool morning in the cave, Sharra snoring softly beside me as dawn's glow crawled in through the mouth of the cave to light up the drawings I had made on the stone walls.

Sharra had been right, I realized. There was a power in those charcoal lines, and that power had given me a very great gift.

I turned my head to stare at the wolf sleeping beside me. I gently stroked her head and a small smile grew on her muzzle as she slept. If what the Mother had told me was right, I owed this one a great deal.

For better or for worse, her choice had given me a second chance at life and that is something that very few people will ever have.