The Worm and the Fish
I shouldn't read Aesop's Fables after two years of working in call centers. It makes things come into my head and it makes my fingers type them.
As the worm dangled on the end of his line, the fisherman became frustrated that none of the fish were biting, and began to curse the worm for being lousy bait. "Stupid worm", he said, "wriggling around like that and warning all the fish away. I swear he must be in cahoots with them, the bastard must." The worm replied, "Fisherman, all the fish have in mind is my death at their jaws, and although I can't pretend to appreciate what you're doing either, I'd never associate with fish unless they were the ones who came to get me, even against the likes of you."
The fish, in the meantime, having noticed the worm being used to lure it to an early death, began to curse the worm also. "How can you betray animal kind by siding with our human oppressors so? Don't you have any sense of pride or loyalty, worm? Do you get so much out of this arrangement that it's worth it to you still?" The worm replied "Although I can't pretend to like fish like you who'd just as soon eat me right up, I'd never ally with human beings unless they had more say in it than I did, and as for how much of a blast you assume I must be having, unless you haven't quite taken notice of it, I'm on a freaking hook right now."