Vexen's Own Story! Part 2
Well, I did have something great to say here, but thanks to problems with sofurry servers, I've forgotten. Not that I'm blaming them, I'm sure their doing all they can, but anyhow. READ ONWARD and COMMENT!
Written By Vexen
Alas! It was the afternoon now, my delightful breakfast eaten and the hour of adventure was about. "Quick Watson! We must find ourselves a mystery to solve!" I cheered as me and Watson bolted to our VW hippy van, setting off into the sun rise.
"But Sir, where ever shall we find a case?" He asked, petting that fine mustache of his.
"Simple, my dear Watson." I started, opening the back doors of the van as I kicked him out into oncoming traffic. "It was elementary really." I smirked, then froze to think for a moment. "Next case, to find out who is driving this van!"
*Years Later*
As I poked my head through the front seat, I gasped. "Ex-President Bill Clinton!?"
"Yep! Dobby!" He smiled, then started to turn the wheel of the van left then right sharply.
"You're gonna kill us all!" I yelped, being flung out of the seat and then tossed about like a rag doll along with a few dead hookers in the back of the van.
"We're being chased by a group of bad, bad people, Dobby!" He yelled back, swerving as he barely missed a woman who was wearing a two piece bikini, but somehow managed to run into an old lady, flinging her over the hood as her mangled body fell back into the road behind us.
"Who's after us Sir!?" I yelped, climbing into the seat beside him.
"My wife, Dobby!" He yelled back as loudly as he could, his lips only two feet away from my ears.
"You have a second wife!?" I yelled back, being sure to get right up next to his face.
"No! Hillary! Dobby!" He shouted, pressing his face against mine.
"Oh.... Okay!" I yelled back at him, running my mouth over his eyes. "Why do you keep saying Dobby anyway!?" I asked, being sure to yell it at him.
He quickly turned his head to me, the camera zooming in as he widen his eyes, frowning dramatically at me. We sat there, staring at one another as we started driving into one way traffic, now entering 70 mph. We looked into each others eyes, seeing the longing we both felt toward one another as we slowly started to lean closer. As we tilted our heads, only inches away from one another's lip, then our van hit a rhinoceros that was conveniently strolling into the middle of the road.
We came to a sudden halt, and then were flung out the window as the van exploded, turning into a large nuke-like fire ball behind us. As the shock wave settled, I slowly rose to my feet, being greeted with Bill running pass me, his clothes burnt off as he ran about in his old, saggy and wrinkled glory.
Turning the other way, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. And there he was. Watson. Somehow he had survived, and he was back for revenge. I collapsed to my knees, running my fingers weakly over the handle of the blade as I looked up at him, my vision becoming blurry. "Wh..... Why?" I croaked, blood snaking it's way down my lip.
"Justice." He said, dropping to his knees as well.
Grabbing the blade, I yanked on it, pulling it out as blood squirted from my bleeding heart. "Watson.... You....You.... YOU DICK!" I Yelped, getting to my feet. "The hell was that for!? You know how much that hurt!?!?!?"
"Why.... Are you not dead?" He asked, coughing up blood.
"Bitch I'm the main character!" I cheered, kicking his face in Mexican wrestler style.
*Moments later*
As I ripped away at Watson's chest, digging into his torso as I pulled out more guts to naw on, a figured approached me. "Wadda ya want?" I asked, curling myself around my food, getting blood all over myself.
"Vexen, the world needs you." Came the voice, the only voice... the voice of Samuel L Jackson. "We got a plane to rob."