Crying My Eyes Out
A poem I wrote when my heart was broke.
It's been a bad day. The love of my life has gone far away.
Gone forever, gone for good, and I'm stuck here thinking of what could
have been, the two of us together, braving any weather
even as a lightning bolt strikes me down, turns around and throws me to the ground.
I'm covered in mud, blood, tears and sweat, don't know what to do, don't know how to get
up from this, what to do, how to do it. I screwed up again, I did it. I blew it,
messed up again, shot myself in the foot, now I'm choking back the sad with a throat full of soot.
My bones are aching, legs are shaking, sanity breaking, claws are raking
the small of my back. I can't go back, can't forget the things I've done.
We'll never be together, never lie beneath the sun
or sleep under the moon. I spelled my doom, you swept the ashes
up with a broom, then I went and smashed it. Now I'm full of pain,
it's starting to rain, no pain, no gain, but I've got nothing
left but my life, my love, my wits, my words. A cleft's
been left in my life, a hole dug up. I dug my grave,
now there's nothing to save me from my sins.
Fear crawling up my shins. The air is thin. I can't win.
I'm crying my eyes out, screaming at the top of my lungs,
at the top of the rungs, singing songs that were already sung
before the war that killed my want for more
love, more power, more of this, more of that.
Now I'm sitting where we could have sat,
but that's no more, I lost the war, my heart is sore, I'm done, no more.