FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Heya there, furballs! Welcome to Fae's Christmas Music-Themed Special 2012! Another year, another five st...

Fuck.

See, it can't be another year, another five stories. I done goofed last year. See, Dancing Dirt Into The Snow was meant to be the Christmas day upload last year, but it never went up. Why? Because I was unhappy with the story. Not technically-speaking, of course; most of the work I put on SF and FA is rough and unedited. I just wasn't able to tell the story I wanted to. I couldn't make it work. It took an extra year and seven fucking rewrites from scratch to get this damn thing right. I hate this story. I'm glad it's done. I mean, I'm proud I got it done, but still! Shit!

Otherwise, the format is the same as previous years! Five (or... fucking six) stories to tantalize your Christmas period. From today on the 20th you'll get the long-awaited final chapter of Cameron and Ryan's tale. Starting tomorrow, we'll leap into this year's stories proper. And finally, on the 25th, you'll be treated to _another_large story that will start a new series to follow each year, featuring a character you may be familiar with from last year.

Don't forget to keep an eye on my Twitter (@FaoraMeridian) if you want to know what's going up ahead of time, or if you want to be alerted to other stories or otherwise just hear me ramble on about random things!

But for now, I hope you enjoy Dancing Dirt Into The Snow, the first of the 2012 stories or the last of the 2011 stories!

• Ol' Saint Fae

Dancing Dirt Into The Snow

"C'mon, Cam... it'll be fun."

Cameron sighed and buried his head in his paws, but there was little he could do to hide the tired smile that tinged the corner of his muzzle. The tiger rolled his head to the side as he leaned back into the uncomfortable airplane seats of Economy-class and took in the sight of the coyote beside him. Framed by the sunlight at the canine's back, he could have looked angelic. Cameron knew he was more devious than that. "We can't, Jase..."

Jason rolled his shoulders in an easy little shrug as he leaned back against his seat. It had been the coyote's idea to fly Economy. While Cameron's paycheck would have been enough to easily cover both of them flying first-class, Jason had insisted on a little financial independence. Despite the shared vacation, the horny coyote at the tiger's side had wanted to pay his fair share of the winter holiday. First-class comfort was Cameron's sacrifice, but Jason was more than happy to work his patience a little bit, too. "It's so noisy in here, Cam. If you won't take me to the bathroom, then maybe no one would notice if you just ducked down and-"

"I'm not blowing you here, Jase!" Cameron hissed, a blush in his ears and the smile on his face enough to prove he wasn't mad. The shy little coyote that Cameron had first welcomed into their workplace had blossomed into a much more brazen sort of canine. The tiger hadn't expected that hooking up with him would put his balls in danger of being left permanently drained. Regardless of where they could be emptied, either; he'd learned Jason had a bit of a thing for exhibitionism on their fourth date. Cameron just hoped that the fox kit that had walked in on the tiger getting his backside stuffed in that stall hadn't complained too loudly to his parents or the staff. After all, that restaurant served some of the best Chinese in the city and it would be a shame to never be able to go back.

Maybe the tiger would have been able to get away with accepting Jason's little nod of surrender, if not for the devious little glint in the coyote's green eyes. Cameron quickly opened his muzzle up to ask what he was planning, before the blanket formerly draped over the canine's lap whipped up and fell across Cameron's instead. "Jase, no-"

"Shut up," Jason replied with a broad grin, as he stared across the row. No one seemed to be looking their way. "And control your face for a change, honey. You bare your teeth when you're getting your dick sucked." And just with that, Jason's grin grew wider still and he slipped down and out of his seat.

"Jase, no!" Cameron managed to repeat, as he quickly glanced around. No one was looking, but there was a vulpine flight attendant on his way down towards them. He didn't fancy that the coyote, as experienced as he was with Cameron's body, could make him pop and get back up out of his lap before under-steamed vegetables and bland chicken could be served. "Get back up here now!"

"Little busy," came a muffled, quiet response from down beneath the blanket. Cameron reached under the fabric to pull it away, before he felt more than heard his belt come undone. Eyes widened as the tiger froze for a moment, and that momentary freeze was all the time Jason needed to quickly unzip the tiger's jeans and begin to yank them down. However they slid away from Cameron's body while he sat on them, the tiger didn't know. What he did know was that if he pulled the blanket away then, everyone in Economy might be able to see his too-hard cock. "Ooh, goin' commando..."

Cameron bit his lip as he looked around again. "Comfier on flights," he muttered, as he batted down at a lump in the blanket. Said lump recoiled slightly, and Cameron smirked. At least it'd been Jason's head, and not his own second one. "Get out of there before someone sees yaaa-aaa-ahhhh!" Everything he was going to say melted away at the first touch of Jason's tongue along the underside of the tiger's shaft.

That did it. It was gonna happen, whether Cameron wanted it or not. Cameron knew Jason. He knew how the coyote thought, how he acted when he wanted something and he knew exactly how determined said coyote could be when he wanted something bad enough. Right then, he wanted a little taste of the Mile High Club, and all of Cameron's concerns about being caught could go out the mile-high window. The tiger grit his teeth as he leaned back in his uncomfortable chair. Under the blanket, two feline paws gripped at the armrests just that much tighter.

Further beneath that blanket, Jason just grinned in triumph. His tongue drew slowly up and down, teasing every inch of Cameron's shaft from tip to base. Even his sheath got its attention, as the coyote leaned in close and swirled his tongue down at the small length it concealed. The tiger twitched at the sensation, and Jason just grinned wider. Where was the fun if they might not be caught?

It took everything in Cameron to fight back the moan that threatened to slip free of his muzzle as warm lips parted around the tip of his malehood. They pressed in against him, teasing a little bead of pre from his shaft a second before it was eagerly lapped away. One of Cameron's legs twitched as he tried to spread them wider. Economy wasn't comfortable at the best of times. With a horny coyote in between them, it was a miracle Jason's head wasn't already buried fully down in his lap.

That came mere moments later anyway. Jason's muzzle slid slowly down, inch after inch of feline shaft sucked up into his waiting mouth. His tongue rode down the underside of Cameron's flesh, teasing it the whole way as the tiger fought to remain still and silent. Cameron bit his tongue as he felt Jason's head twist around slowly, working those lips toward his base.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Cameron all but jumped out of his chair - and wound up instead jumping halfway down Jason's throat - at the sound of the female voice at his side. The collie in the uniform of a flight attendant smiled warmly down at him as she touched a hand to her chest in affected surprise. "Terribly sorry, sir... I didn't mean to startle you. Would you like anything to drink?"

An amused snort came from beneath the blanket as Jason managed to pry himself off Cameron's malehood enough to breathe again, but Cameron quickly folded his paws down atop the hidden coyote's head as he forced a smile for the attendant. "Ah... I, ahhn... I'dloveacokepleasethankyou." The words came out in a bit more of a rush, his volume increased to cover the noisy slurp of a hungry coyote working his shaft.

The attendant nodded and glanced to the empty seat beside him, and her smile faltered for a moment as Cameron twitched. Eyes dipped to the blanket for a moment. Her smile returned a moment later, a little cheekier. "And will your partner need anything, or will they be fine with what they have?" she asked, her voice considerably quieter than before.

Had he the capacity to show it through his fur, the brilliant blush on his cheeks would have easily confirmed the attendant's suspicions. Cameron felt Jason freeze for a moment, and his tongue swirled around the tiger's shaft for a second longer before he pulled off and equally quietly replied, "I'll have a water, thank you."

The collie's smile broadened as she nodded. "A coke and a water, certainly. I'll bring them by in a few minutes for you." With a wink, she turned away and began to take the order of the elderly couple across the aisle.

Anything Cameron wanted to say or do besides feel caught with his pants literally down was drowned out by Jason plunging his muzzle back down around his shaft again. Fingers left imprints in the armrests as his hips twitched upward, pre splattering the roof of the coyote's muzzle. "Jas_on_," he hissed, as the canine's finger slid up to stroke along his thighs.

The coyote popped audibly off Cameron's shaft for a moment, though his tongue lingered as pre drizzled from its tip. "Mmm... sorry, honey; little busy here. But hey, I can feel you're getting close. You're not hating this as much as you're putting on!"

As the coyote sank back down again, Cameron gave up on trying to imply anything else. Jason was right. The tingle of that tongue as it wound down his shaft mingled with the knowledge that anyone could just come past and spot him being blown. The former amplified the latter and set his heart pounding, fear and arousal and desire all mixing together to help guide his hips up to sheath his malehood in his boyfriend's concealed muzzle.

Instead, the tiger just lay his head back against the back of his seat and gave Jason full control. The coyote seemed to sense the surrender, and all of a sudden it seemed that he gave up entirely on subtlety. Noisy slurps could be heard under the blanked, and Cameron's paws moved atop it as the head it tried in vain to conceal worked back and forth faster and faster.

Entirely faster than Cameron had expected, everything came to a head. Jason pushed himself roughly down all the way along Cameron's shaft, tongue all but thrashing along every inch of it before he slurped all the way back to the tip again as it began to pulse. Cameron forced himself to complete stillness, every muscle in his body suddenly rigid as that sucking muzzle finally drew his seed up and out of him.

Silence reigned in a few blissful seconds as Jason hungrily gulped down each and every little surge of the tiger's load. Cameron's eyes squeezed closed, a momentary burst of turbulence giving him the look of one afraid of flying rather than one being sucked dry by an amorous, exhibitionist canine. Waves of pleasure rocked his body, and a strained whimper escaped him even as he tried to keep himself silent.

He began to pant as he felt the last of his climax flood into Jason's mouth, and all of his muscle rigidity failed in a single, slumping motion. He fell back against the chair, unaware that in his orgasm he'd grabbed Jason's unseen head through the blanket in an unmissable and blatantly lewd display of lust. He quickly glanced around as he let Jason's head go, but not one of the passengers met his eyes. Either they'd gotten away with it, or they were so disgusted that they couldn't bring themselves to look at him. His cheeks continued to burn with his embarrassment, but the satisfaction the suffused him was enough to cancel it out. "I'm gonna get you back for that, you know," he muttered, a smile on his face despite himself.

"Glad to hear it, honey," Jason replied, as he slowly and gently licked his way along Cameron's spent shaft. "I'm hard as a rock down here. Don't suppose you're gonna return the favour?"

One of Cameron's legs lightly kicked in against Jason's, and the tiger chuckled for a moment before a flicker of motion drew his gaze to the side. There stood the same flight attendant from before, drinks in her paws. "While turnabout's fair play, I think it can wait until you're off my plane, don't you?"

With a little chuckle, Cameron gently lowered his tray and set the drinks down atop it. "If you knew him, you might not say that," he replied, and the attendant began to chuckle to herself as she headed off. "Now, Jason. We've got four hours to go. Are you gonna behave for the rest of the flight? Or are we gonna get thrown off?"

A pair of eyes glinted from beneath the blanket as it lifted slightly, revealing a cum-stained muzzle spread wide in a grin. "Four hours, with economy-class entertainment? No promises, honey. No promises."

It'd been Jason's idea to go back to Pine Valley after the Ryan debacle of the previous year. Cameron had been unwilling in the extreme but, much like blowjobs in crowded Economy-class seats, Jason had been more than dedicated. "It'll help you deal with what happened," he'd told Cameron on more than one occasion. It was the times Jason told him that where Cameron simultaneously hated telling the coyote that he still thought about the wolf, and loved that he had. Jason, if nothing else, was good at looking out for Cameron's emotional well-being.

The trip from the airport had been uneventful, though the rental SUV that they'd organized was a little larger than others Cameron had driven before. Jason had stepped up there too, and surprised Cameron with how effortlessly he drove the vehicle. The tiger had been left to his thoughts and idle conversation the whole way up from the airport to Pine Valley. It would have been easy to let those thoughts linger on Ryan, but Cameron knew he wasn't about to do any such thing. He and his boyfriend were on vacation. Thoughts of past mistakes couldn't be allowed to plague him on his time off.

Arrival at Pine Valley had been a simple affair. They'd checked into their lodge - in the town proper rather than in the ski resort - and hired some gear for the two of them. A pizza, movie and steamy shower later, and the pair were through the first travel portion of their trip.

And yet, Cameron lay awake that night and stared at the ceiling. The warm arm that draped over his chest did little to sway the thoughts that rampaged through his mind. Ryan had been lovely. He'd been exactly the sort of guy that Cameron had always wanted to hook up with. He'd been absolutely wonderful, and even what had happened between them and what Ryan had turned into couldn't quite diminish that. On some level, Cameron wished it could have diminished it.

Events just kept replaying themselves over and over in his mind, even almost a year after he'd sent Ryan packing back to Pine Valley. Had he made the right call? Had he just been far too strict? Would things have been better if he had just hooked up with the wolf properly? It was the kind of second-guessing that Cameron hated, but that hatred didn't make it any easier for him to bear. Something in him didn't want to let Ryan go so easily. That whatever-it-was was exactly what Jason had picked up on, and had been the prompt for the trip.

And then there was Jason. The formerly-shy colleague, a surprisingly fun and un-dour office accountant for Cameron's advertising firm. He was so similar in many ways to Ryan that it scared Cameron. It made the tiger wonder if he'd just gravitated towards someone like the wolf he'd all but fallen for and been forced to push away. It made him wonder if his interest in Jason all these months had been a matter of close-enough being good enough. If that was the case, it was hardly fair to Jason to be kept in the dark.

But then, as Cameron's eyes traced the shadows against the lodge's ceiling, Jason was irritatingly perceptive where Ryan had been almost ignorant of Cameron's goals and desires and plans. If Jason wasn't about to bring up Cameron's doubts, he obviously didn't think them valid. It was possible that Jason was just clingy and wanted to stick to Cameron like glue; the tiger was willing - and happy, even - to admit that he'd had little time away from the coyote in the month since Jason had moved into his apartment.

"Could you stare at the ceiling a little less loudly?" mumbled a sleepy voice from Cameron's side. "You're thinking about him too much."

Cameron's eyes widened as he glanced down at the still coyote half-draped over him. Jason hadn't moved a muscle. "You're awake?"

"Always awake," replied the canine, and a little glint of moonlight caught in an emerald eye. "I can't fall asleep until whoever I'm in bed with does. The breathing changes... it lulls me off." Jason paused and took a slow breath. "You're second-guessing why we came."

There it was. The coyote's damn perception was bordering on psychic, or Cameron was just that easy to read. The tiger supposed it couldn't be anything else that could be keeping him up. "Yeah," he finally replied.

The coyote's shoulders rolled as the shadows on his face shifted in a little grimace. "This is good for you, Cam. You can't hide from what you feel. Look what happened to Ryan when he hid what he felt for all those years. Turned him into a repressed slut."

"He can be better than that, Jase," protested the tiger as he sat up. "He could be a whole lot better than that, if he really wanted to be."

One canine ear twitched in the darkness. "So he's choosing not to be. So he's choosing to be a slut, now that you broke him out of one rut and into another. Does that make it better? He's just choosing one master over another, really."

Cameron ground his teeth together. It was the same old Ryan argument. But as much as he wanted to argue that Ryan was fine - a diamond in the rough - Cameron knew that his boyfriend had a point. If Ryan had just decided that what he wanted was to fly in the face of everything that Cameron held sacred, then there was no reason why the wolf was worth Cameron's time. So why did he still care so much?

"It's 'cause that's who you are," came the drowsy answer to the unspoken question. "You care. It's why you're with me. You cared enough when I showed up, you cared enough to hang out with me... you cared enough to start dating me. You cared enough to bring me all the way out here in Economy class because I wouldn't let you pay to bump us both to business-class. You're a carer."

The tiger snorted quietly as he closed his eyes. "How do I stop that, then? This is getting annoying, and I'm not sure I like that you know my head so much better than I do."

"One of 'em, anyway," came the reply from below. "You don't want to stop, Cam. You can't, even if you try. Just accept that he - and what he did - are a part of you now. Learn from what happened. Make the memories matter. Make them worth something, or they're just going to keep eating at you until you act on them in one way or another."

Cameron sighed. He leaned his head against the backboard of the bed and stared back up at the ceiling again. "And what if we run into him here? What if I see him again, and I still care that much? What if I just go back to how things were, and I can't help myself?"

Jason's pause was a little longer that time, and for a brief moment Cameron thought that maybe the coyote had actually fallen asleep. But then he stirred, and a warm puff from Jason's sigh rippled the tiger's chest fur. "Then you'll hook up with him, and you'll deal with things from there," he said. "That's how it works. You find the person you want, and you go after them. That's how it started with you two. That's how it'll end with you two. You just gotta figure out what you want."

Despite the tiredness, there was something more to Jason's voice that echoed in the back of Cameron's mind. There was a tinge of concern, a dash of fear. "Do you think I want him over you?" he asked at last as he stroked slowly down the coyote's back.

There was another little pause before Jason wriggled in closer. His arms tugged at Cameron ever so slightly more tightly before they relaxed again. "I think you don't know the answer to that, hon," was the reply, followed by another sigh. "But if you run into him while we're up here, I think you'll be able to find out. It's something to worry about when it comes, not when we're trying to get some sleep."

Cameron nodded slowly as he settled his head back against his pillow. The comforting warmth of the canine at his side wriggled more firmly in against him and draped an arm over his chest. He closed his eyes again and tried to see anything but Ryan's smiling face behind his eyelids. No matter what he tried, the wolf's eyes glinted with the wonder they'd displayed when he'd first whisked him away. The sight just wouldn't leave his mind though, and both tiger and coyote were left awake long into the cold night.

That Jason had never skied before became immediately apparent to Cameron right away. It was the moment the canine tripped and fell over himself rather than smoothly dismount the morning's first chairlift that gave it away, and a shouted warning had been enough to keep Jason's head from being knocked about by the next chairlift to swing around before the operators could hit the emergency stop button. They'd had a good chuckle about it at the top of the mountain, where Jason admitted at last that he had slightly exaggerated his snow-sport abilities.

Teaching him the basics that had been learned on his last holiday was almost enough to keep Cameron's mind of Ryan. The fact that the wolf had been the one to instruct him in the first place did pop repeatedly back into his head, but Cameron forced the memories aside. Ryan wasn't there, and Jason was. He guided the coyote down slowly from snow-plow brakes to pole-planting turns as best he remembered.

As their first day wore on though, it showed Jason was as quick a study as Cameron had been. By the end of the day, he was able to keep up with the slightly more experienced Cameron, and the two even dared to take on a slightly more difficult run on their way back to their rental car. Jason firmly declared himself the winner of the run, having fallen over a mere six times to Cameron's seven. His assertion that victory meant that the tiger owed him a blowjob was not exactly met with the most enthusiastic of arguments.

However, the trip back to the village wasn't the kind of thing that could be done on an empty stomach or a full bladder. "This wouldn't be a problem if you'd let me get us a cabin up here on the mountain," Cameron pointed out as Jason desperately kicked his snowy boots against the side of a building. "Half the fun is staying on the mountain!"

"And it takes half a bank account to pull it off," replied the coyote with a smirk as he stomped into the building. "Told you that this is our vacation. I'm not letting you get away with spending all your hard-earned dollars on us. Sacrifice a little luxury for a different experience for a change, hon. I already put the skis back on the car; this won't take a moment. Back in a second!" Then he was gone, vanished past the doors and into the bustle of the resting skiiers and boarders within.

With a little chuckle of his own, Cameron leaned against the side of the building with crossed legs and looked up over the mountainside. Covered in white from top to bottom, he could trace the lines left by the various skiiers and snowboarders - and the sharp, smooth spots where they braked hard to avoid one another - on their way down. The sun was still high, but Cameron remembered from his first time how exhausting skiing could be for a body not ready for it. Exhausting, straining, sometimes painful... but always fun.

A thought of Ryan drifted into his head, and the tiger quickly squashed it down. A second later he caught the echo of his words; an instruction that had been overheard one time the last year. It took Cameron a moment to figure out that the sound wasn't just a memory, and his ears twitched as he looked up and around.

And there he was. Blue ski resort outfit, followed by a bunch of kids. The wolf planted his poles in the ground as he smiled at his class. "Alright, guys. Now this time when we go up, we're going to see if we can't get a little more control, alright? Sandi, this means you! No more just pointing yourself at the bottom of the mountain and screaming, okay?"

A little fox kit shrugged as she hugged herself tightly. "I couldn't stop," she sheepishly replied.

As Ryan continued, Cameron made a quick decision to get the hell right out of there. The sight of the wolf again and the sympathetic ache it left in his chest - wasn't something he needed to deal with right that moment. He turned quickly toward the door Jason had left through, and realized half a second too late that he'd crossed his legs.

Perhaps in normal shoes he could have righted himself, but in a bulky pair of ski boots there was nothing that could be done. He cried out as he tumbled toward the ground, and barely managed to push his arms up under him to cushion the blow. A little surge of pain came as his leg twisted, and Cameron fell still for a moment as he hissed quietly to himself.

At least, on the bright side, it didn't feel like a sprain. He could still feel his leg just fine. It was just a little twist, something that wasn't likely to put his whole ski holiday on hold. There was that much to be thankful for, he figured. The tiger began to push himself carefully upright again. He had to get out of there before- "Cameron?"

Cameron's eyes closed as he hissed another little sigh. Fuck, he thought to himself, even as he turned around - more carefully that time - and found himself face to face with Ryan's familiar features. "Hello, Ryan."

That lupine face was awash with emotion. Joy and surprise were equally vying for real estate along with frustration and anger. Eventually they found a balance, and Ryan took a little step back from the tiger. "Didn't think I'd see you again. Didn't think you'd ever come back up here."

"It's a nice place, good skiing..." Cameron shrugged, and his eyes drifted slowly past Cameron. Despite the obvious effort to keep it from his face, there was no way to miss the slow wag of the wolf's tail. Ryan was happy to see him. The sight sent a little warmth up through Cameron's heart, but again he forced it down. "I wasn't going to let what happened between us get in the way of a good holiday."

A little smile touched Ryan's muzzle and he nodded once. "I'm glad. It really is nice up here. All the nicer now, too. I still can't believe you actually came back up here for me."

If Cameron hadn't pushed the warmth back down again, those words might have done the job for him anyway. "Yeah, that. Ry, I didn't. I'm not here for you. I'm here with someone else."

The wagging of the wolf's tail stopped instantly, frozen in place. Ryan's expression didn't change, but his smile became a little hollower as he nodded. "Well, that's good too. It's nice up here, like I said." His eyes drifted off behind Cameron as his head tilted up. "Ah, I see."

As Cameron turned, he felt a smile come to his own lips. Jason had returned mercifully quickly, and the coyote hurried over toward the tiger with his eyes on the snow under his boots. "I tell you what, these pants are not good for taking a leak," he muttered, before he finally looked up. Immediately his gaze was drawn to the blue uniform of the ski instructor, and a glance at the instructor's face gave the identity away. "Oh, hey. Ryan. How're you doing these days?"

Ryan's smile slipped slightly but he nodded along anyway. "Getting by, getting by. How about you? Still enjoying Cam, I see."

As Cameron took a step back against the wall again, Jason gave a little shrug. "We're doing fine. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you sooner. We only met briefly, before you left."

"Before I was thrown out," Ryan corrected, and his eyes darted toward Cameron for a moment before they settled on the coyote again. "Well, as lovely as this is, I've got to get back to my class. Those cubs aren't going to learn how to throw themselves down a mountain without me." He turned back to Cameron with a nod, and the smile gained a little warmth again. "It's good to see you, Cam. You're looking happy, and I'm glad I got to see it. Have a fun holiday, and maybe I'll see you around."

"Thanks," was all Cameron could manage, before Ryan turned and jogged back up to his class again. He watched the wolf start to break up the snowball fight that the cubs had started in his absence with a sigh.

A gloved paw waved in front of Cameron's face, and he turned to see Jason staring impassively at him. "You could go, if you want," he offered. "His class has to finish sometime, and the resort busses go right down to where we are in Pine Valley. I can leave you the rental car and head back."

Eyebrows furrowed as Cameron shook his head. He reached out to gently take one of Jason's paws in his. "No, Jase. I'm not going off with him. I'm here with you." He smiled as he gave a little squeeze. "I'm not him. I'm not with you for now, waiting to jump to something else or something better when the option's there."

"Well good, cause I kinda hate the whole casual sex thing." He waggled a gloved finger at Cameron with a smirk. "And no, our first time doesn't count. That sure wasn't casual for me. I was really into you, and I figured that it would better help you get that wolf out of your head. So do I have to do it again?" His eyebrows lifted as he gave a cheeky, toothy grin.

Cameron fought back a blush as he glanced around. Ryan and the kids were gone, but there were still hundreds of people probably in visual range. "No, you don't have to do it again. But I'm gonna get you to, just not here." He smiled as he slipped an arm around Jason's shoulders and drew him in close. "Head back now? Relax, get out of these damn boots, take a shower, curl up in bed?"

The coyote murred quietly as he leaned into the taller tiger's side. "Curl up in bed, fuck like our lives depend on it, nap, grab dinner...? Sounds like a good idea to me."

As the pair began to walk off toward the carpark, Cameron turned his head back to glance over his shoulder. Ryan was nowhere to be seen still, and he couldn't squash the little sliver of longing he felt. Eyes darted back and forth of their own volition, but there was no lupine ski instructor to be found. Jason leaned into his side, and Cameron sighed softly to himself. Even there, with a great guy beside him, he was still looking for Ryan.

And for once, if Jason picked up on it, he remained mercifully silent.

The first night was the hardest.

Being hundreds of miles away under ordinary circumstances, it was easy enough for Cameron to keep Ryan out of his head. The focus on work during the day and Jason much of the rest of the time was a good way for Cameron to not linger on what was and what could have been. Work was ever busy, and Jason was everything that Cameron had ever wanted in a partner.

But now, being back in Pine Valley and the ski resort Ryan worked at, the wolf was pervading everything. It came to the point that Cameron began to avoid the runs that brought the cabin he'd stayed in out of sight, because spotting it brought back into mind he and Ryan's first tryst.

He was certain that Jason was just playing dumb, too. Cameron knew how obvious it was that he was uncomfortable and conflicted, and that meant that the ever-perceptive coyote had known it even longer. He wasn't sure if he liked the way that Jason bit his tongue, either; in his boyfriend's silence, thoughts of Ryan just shouted all the louder. Maybe that was the point Jason was trying to make, if he was trying to make a point at all.

But as Cameron wandered down one of Pine Valley's streets alone one evening, he wondered at the wisdom of that point. It was one thing to give your partner the freedom to express his feelings. It was another to simply sit back and watch your boyfriend tempt himself further and further into the arms of another person.

A soft fog rolled from his muzzle as the tiger sighed and pulled his coat tighter around his middle. Maybe it was something else. Cameron knew how he'd been in the days leading up to the trip, and how he'd acted toward Jason once they'd arrived hadn't been all that much better. Maybe the coyote was just done. Maybe he was just waiting for Cameron to go back to the wolf and be done with it. Maybe Jason was just done.

"Penny for your thoughts, stranger?"

A familiar, lilting male voice caught Cameron's ear, and the tiger turned to spot an equally rugged-up rabbit smiling at him. He frowned as he looked the lapine up and down. "Sorry?"

One of the rabbit's eyebrows twitched upward as his smile broadened. "Well, it was just a couple times, but it was only last year. I kinda figured you'd remember me a bit better than that, if only for the way you painted the roof of my mouth with that hose you call a cock."

As the rabbit licked his lips, the name finally came back to Cameron alongside a burst of shared arousal and shame. "Jamie?"

"Got it in one!" The rabbit stepped up to Cameron as his grin grew wider still. "What's gotcha lookin' so glum, honey? Need another little bit of stress-relief? I'm meeting a buddy of mine for the night, but I've got a few minutes to spare if you wanna drag me into an alley and give me a quick breeding."

His bluntness mingled with the invitation to cause an uncomfortable warmth in Cameron's loins, and the tiger quickly shook his head. "Well, you've not changed at all, have you? I can't. Got a boyfriend now, and-"

"Well, bring him over to my place after and I'll take both of you," Jamie interrupted with a cheeky little wink. "It's the kinda thing I don't mind clearing my night for."

Cameron shook his head again and raised both hands to ward the little slut back. "No thanks, Jamie. He's not like that. Besides, sex isn't really the cure right now." He sighed as he started down the road again. "Kinda the problem, really."

He found Jamie's arm hooked into his as he continued on, and Cameron froze as he turned to the sight of the smiling rabbit beside him. "Well just 'cause you're not stuffing me full of cum doesn't mean I can't help. Sex is the one thing I know. What's eating you? Can't be Ryan this time. There another hot thing you're ogling who's not me?"

"No, I... wait, what?" He frowned anew as he continued on, tugged forward by Jamie. "It can't be Ryan? Why not?"

It was the rabbit's turn to look surprised. "You stole him away from his girl, remember? And damn did you do a number on him!"

Cameron tugged himself free of the rabbit's interlocked arm. Horror touched his features as he glanced up the road again. Stole? "No, I don't remember! What did I do?"

Surprise melted into confusion, and the smile began to slip from Jamie's face. "You took him away with you. All Pine Valley was buzzing about it, honey. Small town. Word gets around faster than I do. The few of us who knew about his background with guys started a pool. Oh, that reminds me! Did you do him before you left, or after?"

"What happened, Jamie?" Cameron growled, as anger started to colour his tone.

"First thing he did when he came back was break it off with his vixen," answered the rabbit. The words all spilled out in a rush. "Second thing he did was fuck every guy in town who'd take him. Third thing he did was take a second crack at them." Jamie pursed his lips as he took a little step back from Cameron. "Honestly, I thought he'd have been better, but..."

A sick little feeling curled in the pit of Cameron's stomach as he fought to keep himself upright. A chill worked through his body that had nothing to do with the frosty weather. "It's all my fault," he muttered.

Jamie stepped forward again and reached up to pat at the tiger's heaving chest. "Hey, don't have a panic attack on me over this, sweety. It's not your fault. Hell, if it was, I'd be giving you a celebratory blowjob right here right now, and then again in the lockup when we're taken there for indecent exposure. Been eyeing that piece of eye candy longer than you, for sure!"

"Where is he?" Cameron demanded.

For a moment, Jamie looked set to argue against it. Then he saw the glint of the angry tiger's fangs in the light of a nearby street lamp, and promptly decided not to. "Where he hangs out most nights, looking to pick up. Same place you met me trying to do the same thing."

As Cameron turned to head off down the road, a quick grab at his arm from the rabbit managed to tug him to a halt. "Sweety, you're not gonna do what I think you're gonna do, are you?"

"I don't know, Jamie. What do you think I'm gonna do?" The tiger pulled his arm free and stomped off down the road again

Jamie was quick to fall into step behind him. "Well I think you're gonna go down there and confront him about everything. After all, what he's done doesn't fit into your nice and simple little view of sexual morality and you 'blame' yourself for 'corrupting' him." Though his eyes remained forward, Cameron could hear the grin in the rabbit's voice. "Am I getting close?"

A growl rolled out of Cameron. "He was different before he met me. He was a different person. Then he met me and everything changed."

"He changed," Jamie countered as he gave Cameron's arm another tug. The tiger snarled wordlessly as he spun back to face the smaller rabbit, but Jamie stared unflinchingly back up at him. "He decided. He chose it, honey. His body, his life, and his choice to make. Be flattered! Once he got a taste of you, he stopped wanting that cute little girl he had or any other girl after her!"

"So what should I do, then? Just turn around, go back to my room, pretend like I never knew him?" Cameron pulled his arm free again and folded both across his chest.

A mischievous grin played across the rabbit's face. "There's that. Or since you're all worked up, you could just drag me to the alley and fuck me like your life depends on it. You'll feel loads better, and I'll feel... well, your loads."

Cameron just shook his head with a much thinner, mirthless smile. "No thank you, Jamie," he said, as he reached out to push the rabbit away. "Not interested. I'm just going to find him and talk. That's all. And after that, I'm going home."

One of the rabbit's eartips drooped slightly as he cocked his head to the side. "And what do you want out of this talk? Mmm? You want him to forgive you for turning him into me? He likes what he is now, so you've got it. You want his vixen's forgiveness for breaking up their relationship? She knows it was Ryan's choice, so you've got it. You're angry, but that's your excuse. You're going because you wanna see him."

"You're insane. The last person I want to see right now is-"

"Your boyfriend," Jaime interrupted with a smirk. "Seeing as how you're going out, alone and without him, to see the one guy in probably the whole world who's got some power over you... your boyfriend is the last person you want to see right now."

Cameron's eyes began to narrow as he lifted his head. "You should leave now," he ground out. "You've got a date to get to."

As his eyes widened, Jamie glanced down at his watch and grinned. "Oh, you're right! Hey, thanks for the reminder, sweety. And if things don't work out, my offer's still open!" He threw the tiger a wink as he pushed past him quickly. "And hey, you know where I live. If you come by in a couple hours, I'll even be pre-lubed for you!" With a giggle and a sway of his hips, the rabbit vanished down the road.

The tiger sighed quietly as he glanced further along the road. He could see the restaurant just up a couple blocks. Getting there would take a matter of minutes. Behind him, at least a quarter of an hour's brisk walk away, was Jason and the room they'd rented.

He was used to perception from Jason, but Cameron couldn't figure out if Jamie had been right. If he was, then the only reason the tiger had for going after Ryan wasn't because he wanted to understand what had happened. It was that he wanted to get the wolf alone. Was that really what it was? Was that what he was after?

Cameron had begun to walk again, even before he'd realized it. Footpaws carried him toward the restaurant as he shook his head in an attempt to clear it. No, that couldn't be what he was after. He was better than that. He wasn't the kind of person to throw himself at someone when he had someone of his own to go home to. That wasn't him. Jamie had to be wrong. The doors loomed up ahead as Cameron felt a flicker of trepidation.

He didn't have to go in. The tiger knew that. He could just turn around and go home. He could go back to Jason, curl up with the coyote and know that he'd done the right thing. He didn't need to confront Ryan, and he didn't need to understand the wolf's actions after Cameron had given him the boot. It was a want, nothing more.

Hesitation gripped at him even as his paw pressed against the door. The one way to be certain that his intentions were pure was to turn around right then and there and leave. It might still be the case if he went inside, but Jamie's words resonated somewhere deep inside the tiger. Maybe there was something to it. Maybe there was something else he was really looking for inside.

With a sigh, Cameron leaned into the door and eased it open. Warm air washed over his face, a moment's relief from the cold breeze of the outside. He stepped in as he shook his head once more for his own benefit. No. He knew himself, and he knew Ryan. Once upon a time, the wolf had been able to bend him to his desires. That time was over. Cameron knew it. The only thing he wanted was answers, and he would be on his way the moment he got them.

It wasn't hard to spot Ryan at the bar. On a Monday night, the place was relatively empty in the small alpine town. There was a tiger and a fox seated off in the corner, and a black-coated wolf in pride of place at the bar itself. Cameron took a deep breath as he started over toward Ryan. It's alright, Cam, he told himself, you can do this.

Ryan turned before Cameron even arrived. The wolf's eyes drifted across the room until they settled on the approaching person, and his muzzle broke into a slight smile. "I figured if I just waited here long enough you'd eventually show up," he said.

"And how could you be so sure?" asked Cameron, as he pulled up a bar stool to sit just beside the wolf. Ryan's paw slid across it toward the tiger's, but Cameron jerked his arm back before Ryan could make contact.

The lupine looked hurt as Cameron pulled away, but he folded his paws in his lap and shrugged. "This was sort of a second date for us, wasn't it? The Mahlerbe was the first, and I've been there on my breaks between lessons. Waiting for you." The smile slipped from his face. "Because I know you still care about me."

Cameron shook his head, but the response was more mechanical - a knee-jerk reaction - than anything else. "Did care, Ryan. Did."

With a quirked eyebrow, the smile came back again. "Sure. Alright, Cam. Keep telling yourself that, and tell me what you're actually doing here."

"I want to know what happened to you," Cameron said as his eyes bored into the wolf's. Suddenly, he wished for a little of Jason's ability to read people.

Ryan just held that gaze evenly as one of his ears tipped back slightly. "I remembered what I'd lost," was the reply, though he rolled his eyes and took a deep breath as Cameron opened his muzzle. "Now stop right there; I'm not done.

"You were right to throw me out. I was an ass, and I didn't deserve what you were offering me. I treated you poorly, and that wasn't right. I'm sorry." He shook his head. "But I'd forgotten what it was like to be me. I had to dance on thin ice the whole time I was with Samantha, avoid the issue of what I was."

"So you did break up with her," Cameron muttered with a sigh. Somewhere deep inside, his heart broke a little for the poor vixen.

But Ryan nodded vigorously. "I wasn't going to keep lying to her about it, Cam. I told her everything and took full responsibility for it. I told her what happened between us, here, last year. I told her what happened when I got to the city with you. I told her what all I got up to... including a couple things I even sneaked under your radar. Stuff I'm willing to share with you, too."

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel too much better, Ryan." Cameron frowned as he leaned back, before he remembered there was no back to the stool and quickly righted himself again.

The wolf shrugged. "I'm not doing this to make you feel better. I'm doing this so you'll understand. That's what you wanted, right? You wanted to know what happened to me." When Cameron nodded, Ryan continued. "So, I came back here and... well, I lost a little control. Spent a few months being a complete slut, just because I could. It was invigorating and self-affirming, in an odd way. It was... a mistake I had to make."

"Way I hear it, it's not much of a mistake you've tried to fix," the tiger interjected with a growl. "Jamie says you've been coming here regularly to try to pick up. Not enough tail in Pine Valley for you?"

A scowl darkened Ryan's face for a couple moments before he barked a bitter little laugh. "Jamie... Links? The biggest slut this side of the planet says I've been coming here regularly to pick up? I've been coming here to meet new people, Cam. Like I said when we came here, everyone who comes to Pine Valley visits this place sometime. It's the best way to meet people from out of town, not just fuck them. I stepped off Jamie's path months ago now.

"And I did it because of you, Cam. Because you were right. I could be better than that, and I wanted to be better than that." He took a slow breath as both ears tipped back further. "I am who I am. I can't deny I'm probably going to swing back and forth, not sure of what I want. Both sides are there, passive. I want guys. I want girls. I need someone who's going to know and understand that, and I think I need someone who'd be willing to indulge me."

As the wolf dropped his eyes from Cameron's, the tiger shook his head. "Well, good luck finding that in Pine Valley. I'm sure not taking you out of here again. Last time bit me in the ass."

"I can't and wouldn't dare ask again," Ryan said. "Here's too safe and secure to leave right now, and my art never really took off to the extent that I could make a good living off it in a place like where you live." He sighed quietly. "Honestly, I should have listened to you."

"And don't go thinking that telling me how right I was and how wrong you were is going to engender any new trust here, Ryan," Cameron pointed out as he waggled a finger at the wolf.

Again Ryan looked up with a hurt expression on his face. His tail tucked under his stool as he shook his head vigorously. "I'm working towards an apology, Cam. Can you stop telling me how bad I screwed up with you and just please let me get to it?"

A twinge of regret flickered through Cameron, and his own eyes dropped away. "I'm sorry," he muttered, "Please. Go on."

"I guess what I'm trying to get at is just that I'm sorry." Ryan's jaw worked back and forth as his tail curled up further. "You went out of your way to help me, and I didn't repay you with anything good. I... used you to get out of here, even though I didn't know it at the time. I used your sex as a fix, like some addict in withdrawal. You deserved better than that."

The wolf fell silent, and Cameron found himself unsure of exactly what to say. All the trite phrases came to mind, and his muzzle even opened as if to say, "That's okay." It wasn't. It wasn't even a little bit okay. As Ryan looked away, Cameron sat up higher on the stool. "The important thing is now you know," he settled on.

When Ryan's eyes lifted again, his muzzle had the slightest of smiles. "Honestly, that's... nicer than I was expecting," he said. "I... don't know what I expected, really. Disbelief, maybe. Maybe you would have stormed out, I dunno. But I want you to know that I do know now what happened, and I want to fix things between us."

Cameron frowned again as he leaned against the bar. "What's there to fix? You're here. I'm not. Unless you're coming back to the city again under your own steam, I'm not going to see you unless I come back up here. Not exactly the best start for a renewed friendship, Ryan."

Again the wolf reached out with one hand, and when Cameron didn't pull back that paw came to rest on the tiger's arm. "You might say you don't care about me anymore, but I still care about you, Cam. I didn't stop. I wasn't lying when I was living with you... all those other guys? I would have traded them all for you. I only went out for them because you were trying to do the right thing for me and Samantha." That paw gave a gentle squeeze.

Cameron's paw turned over under Ryan's and squeezed gently back before he pulled it out of the wolf's grasp. "Ryan, I'm with Jason now. We've been together for... well, since a little after you left. I can't. Even if I wanted to, I just can't."

The wolf nodded softly as he sighed. "I thought so. And I understand. I'm sorry I put you in that position; I shouldn't have said anything. Screwed everything up for myself, so I suppose I only have myself to blame." He glanced across the bar. "Did you drive? If you walked, can I get you a drink? It's not much of a sorry, but..."

With a shake of his head, Cameron rose from the stool. "No, but thanks. I should probably head back. Jason just thought I was going for a walk, so he'll be wondering where I am." Probably already knows anyway, he thought to himself.

With a slow little nod, Ryan turned away. "Oh, right. Well... I mean, don't let me keep you from your boyfriend. It's your holiday together, after all. I probably caused enough problems for the two of you on this trip so far. I wish I could do something, but..." He gave Cameron a sad smile before he stood and offered his paw. "I'm glad you got some answers, Cam. I just hope they're able to help you. And... hey, good luck with Jason, alright? I hope things work out for you."

Cameron grasped that paw gently and opened his muzzle to reply, but found himself pulled into a tight little hug before he could say a word. Sensation and scent mingled all at once and triggered surges of memory that washed over him like a high tide. A tingle ran through his body - or was it Ryan's body? - as he felt the wolf press tight against his chest, and he squeezed back just as tight before he realized what had happened.

For a couple of seconds, Cameron was stuck in those half-remembered sensations. Unfrozen by a squeeze from the lupine's arms, the tiger pulled himself slowly out of Ryan's grip and forced himself to draw a ragged breath. All of a sudden, his heart had begun to beat double-time. A moment's mental pat-down helped confirm a sudden redirection of blood to the south. "I'd... better get going."

"Yeah, I... sorry, Cam. I just wanted to... well, you know. Hugs are nice, and all that." The wolf coughed as he pulled back and sat himself down at the bar again. "Don't really want you to go like this, not now. Not after all this. You... you sure you can't just have one drink? Doesn't have to be alcohol, either..."

"I..." Cameron glanced at the door. The cold night outside seemed to beckon him back to Jason, but a glance back at the flicker of hope in Ryan's face was enough to call that beckon into question. If Ryan was telling the truth, there wasn't any harm. The wolf was okay with him being taken, and seemed to be at peace with the two of them not being together.

He could see the loneliness behind Ryan's eyes though, and that was enough to draw his backside down onto his stool again. One last favour. One last kindness. "Alright, then. One drink, and we'll see how we go."

The surprise on Ryan's features only lingered for a moment, before his muzzle split in a broad, soft smile. "Thank you, Cam," he said, and he raised a paw to wave the bartender over. "Don't worry, we'll get you back to your 'yote before too long, and I want to hear all about what you've been up to this last year."

Cameron smiled back, lost for a moment in the wolf's blue eyes. One drink, he reminded himself, as the bartender finally arrive. Just one.

With a pounding headache, consciousness returned to Cameron the next morning.

Painful sunlight forced his eyes open and then swiftly closed again. He rolled away from the glare with a quiet grunt as he tugged a sheet back up and over his face. The tiger made an instant decision: there wasn't going to be skiing that day. There was going to be sobering up, and coffee, and a fistful of asprin.

He froze in the midst of his squirming. Hangover implied drinking. Drinking implied having gone out. Cameron's eyes drifted over the sheet he'd pulled across himself. The bed he was sharing with Jason had white sheets. The sheets pulled over his face were blue. The lingering scent of male and sex was strong in the air.

Despite the headache, Cameron peeled the sheet back and sat bolt upright in the bed. He glanced around for a moment, but the room wasn't familiar. It took a second to notice the painting on the wall was one he'd seen before. The landscape piece, painted to reflect Pine Valley at sunset, was one of Ryan's.

He was in Ryan's bedroom.

A quick glance downward showed himself naked, and panic added itself to Cameron's list of unpleasant feelings. The tiger fought to force moisture into a too-dry muzzle as he yanked the sheets up and off, and all but tore out of the bed. He almost tripped over his shoes, but the stumble brought his neatly-folded clothes back into view on a nearby dresser.

Ryan was nowhere to be seen, but the sound of a shower elsewhere in the house did give the wolf's location away. Cameron hurriedly dressed; the faster he was clothed, the faster he could get out of that bedroom and back to Jason. He spared a glance back around the room as he yanked his pants up, and almost yipped out as he caught himself in the zipper. Cameron slowed himself down a little so as not to damage himself -- Jason's gonna wanna do the damaging, he thought bitterly as he grabbed for his shirt - and hurried out of the bedroom.

Navigating his way out of the house wasn't too difficult. Once he was sure he had everything, Cameron made a break for the front door and rushed out into the sunlight. The urge to shield his eyes and go back into the darker house was a temptation he couldn't afford. The tiger forced his eyes open even just to slits, and glanced around as he attempted to find his way home.

Either fortune or fate seemed to be with Cameron; the house he and Jason were staying in was only a couple of streets away. Cameron broke into a jog as he forced lethargic, half-drunk and half-asleep muscles to carry him as far away from Ryan as fast as they could. A sharp honk of a car horn startled him out of its path, so focused on his mad flight was he.

It wasn't until Cameron hit the door that he realized that his wallet and his keys were neither in his pockets. Eyes finally fell closed against as he thudded his forehead against the door. Two options, neither all the better than the other. He could go back to Ryan's place and get his stuff. The wolf would no doubt be out of the shower by that time, and that would just force a confrontation Cameron was in no mood to have. He didn't need to hear about how he'd been weak and stupid.

As he thudded his head against the door again and finally raised a paw to knock, Cameron took the second option. "Jase?" he called out. "You in there? I don't have my keys, and..."

The door opened to reveal a fully-dressed coyote, ski gear nowhere to be seen. His expression was neutral as it scanned up and down Cameron's body. "Looks like you had a rough night, hon," he said, before he stepped aside and let the tiger in. "You okay?"

Cameron just shook his head with a sigh. "Not even remotely. Head's killing me... don't suppose we've got some asprin here?" When Jason nodded and turned away, Cameron reached out quickly to grab his paw and tug him gently back. "No, stay. It can wait a moment."

Jason just shook his head and gave a little smile. Even in his current state, Cameron could see how forced it was. "Hon, it's fine. Really. I know what happened. It's okay."

"It's... okay?" Cameron echoed, confused as he slumped down onto a couch.

"Yeah. It's okay." Jason gently pried his paw free of the tiger's grip before he turned to head off to the kitchen. "I figured last night when you went for a walk you'd go trying to find Ryan. He's all you've been thinking about these last couple days." The coyote's nostrils flared with a sharp intake of breath as he returned, carrying a fizzing glass of water. "And from the smell of it, you got plastered last night. Things... well, things happen."

When the coyote offered the glass, Cameron just looked up past it. "I didn't go there looking to sleep with him. I didn't want that."

But Jason shook his head and hefted the glass. "You did want that, Cam. Don't tell me for a second that you didn't." The words were firm, but the canine's voice was perfectly even.

As he took the glass, Cameron sighed and nodded once. "Yeah... suppose I did. Don't know what I was thinking." He took a breath before he tilted his head back and drained the glass completely. The tiger set the glass down on the couch beside him with a sigh. "Look, I... left some things over at his place. Do you mind if I go get them?"

"No..." The coyote shook his head as he folded his arms slowly over his chest. "But do you mind if I come too? I'd like to... be there." That forced little smile slowly returned. "I'd like to know that my boy's coming back to me when all's said and done."

Cameron felt his heart break a little, and he quickly rose to wrap the coyote in a tight hug. "Of course I'd come back to you, Jase. You know me. Hell, you know me better than I know me sometimes. You know I'd never normally do anything that would upset you like... well, this fucking mess."

The canine leaned back into him and nodded as he squeezed gently back. "I know. I just... wanna be there."

With a little nod of his own, Cameron drew back from the embrace and let his paws slide down the coyote's sides. They drifted off to take his partner's paws in his as he gave another little squeeze. One of his hands drifted to the end table by the couch and snatched up the sunglasses left there. "Then you will be. And so will I. You okay to do this now? I don't want to leave this for any longer than we really have to."

"Whenever you want, hon." The smile on Jason's face looked a little less forced that time, as he leaned into Cameron's side and allowed himself to be led out toward the street. He broke aside just long enough to lock the door behind him, before the pair started off down the road. "So... what did happen?"

Cameron just winced and heaved a tired sigh. At least the sunglasses helped prevent the sun's glare from adding to his headache. "I met up with someone I knew from the last time I was here. He told me about Ryan, about what he was doing... and I went to confront him."

"I wish you'd called," Jason interjected quietly, still leaned into Cameron's side.

The tiger just nodded once. "Me too... Anyway, we got to talking, and he explained himself. Didn't make it better, but helped me understand a bit more about him. We had a drink, we had another drink, we talked about his life and we talked about mine, we had a few more drinks..."

Jason nodded. "And then you had one more go for old time's sake."

But Cameron shook his head. He sighed again as he led Jason around a corner and up toward the house he'd only just fled from. "I really don't remember it. I remember us leaving the bar at the restaurant, but I don't... rest is just a blur." His head hung low. "I fucked up, Jase. Bad."

The pair approached the door as Jason offered a noncommittal little nod. "Yeah... you did."

With nothing left to say, Cameron took a breath and slammed his fist against the door a couple times. Dread welled up inside him as he tugged Jason a little tighter to his side. It was almost as if the coyote's warmth against him would be enough to ward off the terrible feelings that plagued him after what he'd done. He knocked twice more.

The door opened a couple moments later, revealing a still-damp but fully dressed Ryan. His eyes flicked between Cameron and Jason with a mixture of surprise and concern, and he took a step back from his doorway. "Cam? What are-"

"I left some stuff here," he muttered. His head continued to hang low, unable to meet either Ryan or Jason's gaze as he stepped into the house. "My wallet, my keys... do you know where I left them?"

"I... uh, they're on my bedside table." The wolf's eyes fixed firmly on Jason as he said it, and his footpaws began to shuffled back and forth against the carpet. "Uh... look, Jason; I can explain this."

When the coyote just lifted his eyebrows and folded his arms expectantly, Ryan deflated again and shook his head. "Okay, so I really can't. I know this looks bad, but it's not as bad as it sounds."

"You try and steal my boyfriend, and it's not as bad as it sounds?" Jason asked. The words might have been harsh, but the coyote's tone was light. "Well, come on then. Explain to me... explain to both of us, how it's not as bad as it sounds."

"Did you really try to get me drunk to sleep with me?" In the bedroom's doorway, Cameron stood with folded arms. "Did you really think you could steal me from Jason? Break us up with a fling? I didn't go out with you last night to sleep with you, Ryan."

The wolf's ears tipped back hard as he hugged himself tightly. "Th... no, Cameron, I didn't! I wouldn't! We didn't!"

"Oh, sure we didn't," Cameron muttered as he stepped forward. Much as the tiger felt like he alone was the one in the wrong, it was hard to see Ryan standing there as clear and free of any blame. "You convince me to stay for just one drink, and then I wake up in your bed, naked. Smells like a whole lot of sex in there, doesn't it?"

There were a lot of reactions in the world to the accusation that they got someone drunk to sleep with them and break up their relationship. Indignant anger, blind rage, casual acceptance and bitter frustration were among them. Ryan's reaction went against the standard, and actually broke Cameron's own anger with the force of its intensity.

The wolf began to cry.

He sank down into a crouch and brought his paws to his face as he shook his head. "So that's how it is, is it?" he sobbed after a moment, the words muffled by a trembling muzzle and by his own paws. "I'm a slut, I'm a homewrecker, I'm a liar and a cheat... that's how it is.

"You could barely walk when we left, Cameron." The paws dropped slowly, the wolf's usually warm eyes bloodshot and glistening with tears. "I brought you back here because it's close-by and you couldn't tell me where you lived. You threw up all over yourself. I washed your clothes." His muzzle hung open for a moment as tears matted his cheekfur. His tail tucked up under himself so far that it almost tickled his chin.

When Cameron could only stand in silence, Ryan shook his head and started to stare instead at the ground. "I was too tired to do it last night, so I stripped you down then and set them aside. I got up early and skipped work so I could wash them for you." He shook his head. "I hoped you'd wake up when I was done, so I could tell you myself."

"But the whole damn room smelled like sex!" Cameron protested. His words came out louder than he'd intended, and Ryan cringed back with a fresh sob. "You took advantage of me while-"

"Never!" Ryan shouted back, teeth bared. "I would never do that to you! I know you'd never want to do anything with me again! You've got someone, and I know how much that means to you!" His face crumpled again as he fought a losing battle against fresh tears. "It smells like sex because I fuck there a lot. I'm a... I'm a slut... But I didn't fuck you!"

It was Jason that stepped forward with a nod. "You didn't sleep with him, Cam."

A whole new level of surprise layered on top of everything else that he was hearing, and Cameron just stared dumbly at Jason for a moment. "Huh?" he finally managed.

The coyote just tapped his nose. "Canine scent, hon. What, you don't think I can't tell when you've gotten laid? If you smelled perfectly clean, I'd think you'd scrubbed away the evidence. If you smelled like a whorehouse, I'd have suspected you instantly." He shook his head with a little smile, and it finally looked genuine and unforced. "But you just smelled like a sick, drunk you. I knew you hadn't done anything with him."

Ryan's eyes narrowed as they turned up toward the coyote. "So you just let me be humiliated and broken?" he snarled. Claws gouged little troughs in the carpet.

"Cam had to hear it from you," Jason replied with a shrug as he stepped back against the front door. "When he came back home, he was scared and ashamed. I didn't want him to feel that way, and the only way to do it..." He waved a hand at the suddenly angry wolf. "Well, he had to hear from you that he didn't do it, and to know that I believed it." His smile slipped a little as Cameron just stared at him. "I had to make sure he knew what he'd done... and not done. What he'd chosen."

"He chose you," Ryan muttered as he pushed himself back against one wall. "I didn't expect him to choose me. I didn't really want him to choose me. I wouldn't choose me." He glanced up and his features softened as they regarded Cameron. "Even when you were blind-drunk and I was feeling you up as a joke, you pushed me off and told me to never do that again. Said you were with Jason, you were happy with Jason, and you'd never do anything to hurt him. So... you didn't."

Cameron shook his head slowly. "I wish I could remember it all, now..." He glanced down at Ryan. "So... you and I didn't...?" When the wolf just shook his own head, Cameron turned up to Jason. "So you know who I really want, now?"

"I've got a pretty good idea," the coyote replied as he crouched down beside Ryan. He patted the other canine's shoulder gently. "Thank you, Ryan. I know it... probably wasn't easy last night."

Ryan shook his head again, head still low. "It was perfectly easy," he muttered back as he swiped a paw across his nose. "Cam was sure it wasn't gonna happen, so it didn't happen. Wouldn't have changed a thing if I'd tried to seriously gone for it. I just..." His shoulders rolled back against the wall. "Wish I had what you guys do."

As Jason turned back to glance at Cameron, the tiger sat down opposite Ryan. "You did have what we do. You had Samantha."

"And I fucked that up royally," muttered Ryan.

"But you can still fix that," Cameron added, and he reached out to stroke over Ryan's knee. "Tell her the truth about you. Tell her what you need, and how it got the better of you. Maybe she'll understand, maybe she won't. Maybe she'll take you back, if you want her to. Maybe she won't. But she loved you, Ryan. Those feelings don't just evaporate."

His head twitched with a little nod, but it still refused to rise. "Maybe I'll give her a call later today," he finally forced out. One paw lifted to brush Cameron's away from his knee. "But you guys... you should go. You don't need to be here, and you've still got your whole holiday ahead of you."

Again Jason glanced to Cameron first, and the tiger nodded toward Ryan. "You sure you don't want some company?" asked the coyote. "We could stick around if you want, or go grab coffee, or-"

"No, I... thanks, but I don't think I can be around you two right now. Too much to screw with my mood, you know?" Ryan's head finally lifted, though his eyes fought to meet Cameron's gaze. "Take care, Cam... okay?"

Cameron smiled softly and gave Ryan's knee another little pat as he rose. "You too, Ryan. I'm sure I'll see you around. Just don't forget to give Sam a call. Might help you."

He turned away as Ryan nodded, and Jason fell into step behind him as they headed for the front door. "Well... that went... better than expected."

"It's not every day you cheat on your boyfriend but don't cheat on your boyfriend," Jason said as he closed Ryan's front door behind them. "You think he's gonna be okay? I mean, after all the shit he put you through back home, I'm surprised I even give a damn."

"He showed that he has got some integrity after all," pointed out Cameron as he hooked one arm in Jason's. "I kept telling you, he's not a bad guy. Just confused, scared... more than a little lonely. I just wish it hadn't gotten the better of him. He could have been a good-"

"Lover?" Jason offered with a light elbow-jab to Cameron's side.

"I was gonna say friend." The tiger chuckled as he leaned in against Jason. "I've already got a lover who keeps me busy. One I hope hasn't lost faith in me, too." His eyebrows lifted as he twisted to glance back at Ryan's house. "Course, if he has lost faith in me, I know this wolf here who's a great lay."

The elbow jabbed in a little harder as Jason chuckled, though the chuckle slipped into a little gasp as the arm around his waist reached a little further. Fingers stroked over the front of his pants, teasing what they concealed as Jason's eyes flicked up and down the street. "Cam!" he hissed, as he tried to pull away.

"What's that, hon?" The tiger just rubbed a little more firmly as he too threw a quick glance around. "You're all fine with getting me hot and bothered on a plane, but the moment I take the helm you decide that a place is too public?"

"I didn't grab your dick in the middle of the street!" Jason protested as he felt himself tugged off the road by the arm around his middle.

Cameron just shrugged and smiled as he led the coyote in toward a small line of shops. Between a pair of them rested a narrow little alleyway, barely large enough for one person to fit. He grinned wider as he zeroed in on it, and pulled the coyote on after him. "C'mon, Jase. It'll be fun."

The coyote chewed on his lip as he was led on. Finally he sighed and relented, leaning into Cameron's side as he allowed himself to be pulled toward that alley. "Is this gonna be a regular thing for us, then? You using everything I like against me?"

Cameron's paw wriggled a little more firmly before it slid up to the waistband of those pants and down lightly inside them. "I promise," he replied, as Jason gasped and shuddered against him. "I swear, on my life, that it will."

With another little shiver, Jason nodded and pressed himself tighter against Cameron's side. One paw came up to stroke over the tiger's fondling digits as he groaned softly. "I'm gonna hold you to that," he muttered, and grinned alongside his partner as they vanished into the alley.

Listen to Dancing Dirt Into The Snow by Missy Higgins with this Grooveshark link!

Dancing Dirt Into The Snow lyrics

Alone you find yourself just hanging,

And to fill the hole you cling to all that seems,

To hide the little girl that crying,

Underneath the rage that you let others see.

'Cause you're dancing dirt into the snow,

While others look at you on show.

You're dancing dirt into the snow,

While all around you people grow,

And watch you bleed.

And watch you bleed.

So now you look at me, eyes wooden.

An anchor through your head; crimson for disguise.

An opal for a wound you carry,

Fairy lights of pleading someone look at me.

'Cause you're dancing dirt into the snow,

While others look at you on show.

You're dancing dirt into the snow,

While all around you people grow,

And watch you bleed.

And watch you bleed.

The more you push through broken glass, the thicker it becomes.

And the more you turn on broken worlds, the sooner you will need,

The more you push through broken glass, the thicker it becomes.

And the more you turn on broken worlds, the sooner you will need,

A gun.

'Cause you're dancing dirt into the snow,

While others look at you on show.

You're dancing dirt into the snow,

While all around you people grow.