FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Owen, just having reached adulthood, was your average Lupine looking to find his place in the world: thinking of going into a post-graduate degree, planning on moving out, wondering whether he was more attracted to males or females. For Greek letters, he'd put himself at about a Lambda, especially in the metaphorical sense. His black-and-grey fur might have made him look older than he was, but the way he carried himself didn't show off any maturity. He strode through the mall with a bag of freshly-bought groceries, wondering if he could excuse himself after dinner to look for some kind of nightclub. Maybe he could pick up some hopeful Vul-

"Hey you!"

"Excuse me? Uh, Sir?"

A pair of human people in lab coats and shaded glasses stood behind a small kiosk with wheels, supporting bottles of murky coloured water. The labels just had three letters on them in a big, square font: "U NU"

"Hello there, you certainly are a furry, aren't you?" the tall, chubby one asked.

"Well, I'd think that's obvious. What's that you're selling?"

"Selling? Hah!" The skinnier one with the wisps of facial hair made a wide smirk, but quickly added, "Actually, we're giving this amazing new product away in select locations, but only for a limited time. Once our Kickstart finishes and we get enough supporters, I can guarantee you'll be kicking yourself for not having had a free sample today. Fortunately, there's still time to make the best decision you'll ever make. Even better than marrying your favourite cartoon character!"

"I stopped watching cartoons when I was thirteen. What is this stuff that you want to give me?"

The taller one loudly interrupted the other: "Only the greatest thing since the internet! Seriously, try some right now and you will literally be overcome with joy at how much better your life'll be!"

"What we mean is, we at the General Research Institute for Enhancing Fluctuations have come up with an energy drink that's fortified with enough active ingredients to keep a sustained burst of energy through - not just your muscles - but your blood, bones, nerves, organs, everything! You'll literally feel like a new you, hence the name. We thought it would be more appealing to the web-savvy youth of today like that."

Though Owen couldn't look them in the eyes with their shaded glasses indoors, and even though they had on too much body spray, he could still faintly smell spikes of agitation on them. They weren't quite sweating bullets, but either there was something they weren't telling him, or they were just over-enthusiastic. Maybe they'd just chugged some of their own product, thinking they could just record it as another free sample given out. "As long as it's complimentary, I guess I don't have to worry about getting suckered out of any cash."

"Great to hear it," the wispier one slouched. "Limit's one per customer. Sign here." He held out a bottle in one hand, and a few papers with a pen in the other. The papers had been folded, and Owen had to shift the bag around to look at them. "It's a liability waiver?"

"Yeah," he replied again. "It's so you won't demand a refund, or mix it with drugs and then sue us if you turn into a zombie or something. If you drink it right now in front of us, half the stuff on there wouldn't be necessary."

"Oh, and also," the other one added, "even though we can't legally guarantee it, I guarantee that all the hot crittery people will want to get all over you as soon as it starts working!"

"So I just chug it all down?" After a couple of vigourous nods, he drank the whole bottle down in five seconds, then almost threw it back up again after finding out that it tasted like how he figured soap would taste.

"No need to thank us," the taller one chimed in again, "you can just go to the gym or somewhere and strut your new stuff! I bet you could bench, like, some huge muscle-head benching like a hundred more pounds!" At that point, Owen didn't want to listen to anything else they had to say, and left without thanking them.

As soon as he was out of earshot, the two guys in lab coats turned to each other and snickered. "Aw yeah, how many was that?"

You mean all of them, or just the Wolf ones? I dunno, a big number either way! We should look for one of the Dragons next! Or just any one of the Lizard ones!"

"Hey wait, that one over there? The Lion one? Yeah, he's got a cross around his neck! Yeah, I never knew there were religious furries either. Hey, excuse me? Uh, sir?"

"Yeah, I mean yes, you?" his business partner called out. "Do you like to do God's work?"

---

It had gotten colder quickly and Owen's winter coat still hadn't come in yet, so it was a good thing the bus had shown up quickly. Even though there were a few empty seats, he liked to stand, hold his tail out, and balance as the bus rumbled forward without even holding on to anything to steady himself. A Skunk sitting nearby watched him lean into a wide turn and muttered, "Surfing the bus, huh?"

Owen laughed. It was as if that thing he drank had been carbonated, except instead of a belch bubbling up inside him, it was laughter. The Skunk who'd made the quip smiled back, then moved further away when the laughter continued. He was able to stop and give her an apologetic smile, but had to sit down. The funny feeling was bubbling up through him, and not just through his throat: it was as if a tickling fizziness had spread throughout his arms, legs, and even his head. His ears popped, and after that everything he head sounded funny. Even those two young teenagers talking about a web comic he never liked; suddenly, it became the most hilarious thing he'd ever heard. Trying to keep a straight face only made him grimace harder, and he was starting to feel light-headed by the time his stop came around.

Unlocking the front door was trickier than he expected, since they key tickled his fingers and the word "doorknob" sounded goofier than it ever had in his head, but Owen managed to get it open and stumble into the kitchen, bringing the groceries to the counter where his father thanked him.

"What's so funny, Owen?" He brought a paw to his face to steady himself, and was about to tell his father about what had happened in the mall, until the older Wolf added, "Say, are you shedding there?"

He pulled his paw back to find a tuft of fur in it.

With a quick, "YeahI'lljustbrushabityou'rewelcomebye!" he stumbled up the stairs and into his room. They never mentioned anything like fur loss as a side effect! Owen flicked on his computer, determined to look up that stuff and their Genetic Enhanced Fluctuational - whatever, then fell to his knees. The fizzy feeling was starting to subside, giving way to a shuddering, panic-inducing nausea that he realized had been present the entire time. He just didn't notice over the tickling until it had ended.

Fur was falling out all over his body, and his nose felt as if a huge scab was crawling across it. He tried to get to his feet to sit on his chair, but slipped and fell over as his feet suddenly flattened out. Reaching up with his arms, his claws shattered and the pads on his paws crusted over faster than anything his body had ever done. His heart beating faster made blood rush all through his body, changing it all inside and out. Clutching at his chest, he could feel the organs shift and change shape, as the muscles in his body felt heavy and sluggish. It was like he was being covered in liquid lead, and his terrified howls warped into different-sounding groans as the nausea worked its way through him.

Something punched him in the face, and kept on pushing, warping bone and cartilage. His ears felt like someone horrible was pulling them downward, and they moved like soft clay.

"This isn't supposed to be possible!" His shout came out as more of a whisper, quieted further by the near-painful feeling in his crotch. Blood was rushing there, but instead of feeling good, he could feel his features writhe and reorganize themselves in ways he couldn't see. He could even feel it in his eyes, and after a surge of tears, there was one last shuddering jolt, like having a tooth removed with only almost enough anaesthetic: his tail had fallen off.

The nausea still hadn't subsided. If anything, it had gotten worse, but didn't seem as terrible as before. Owen just lay on the floor, shuddering and sobbing, until finally, he felt some strength back in his legs. Dragging himself on all fours to his bed, he brought himself to an unsteady stand and stumbled his way into the bathroom. There, he threw up.

Immediately, he leapt up for the sink, for water, mouthwash, toothpaste, anything to get the disgusting chemical taste out of his mouth. On his fourth rinse, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror: standing up, feeling some of the trail the remnants of his coat had left, only the black hair on the top of his head remained on him. The only thing that stuck out on his face was his large, skin-covered nose. He couldn't smell any distinct scent with it, his eyesight felt less sharp, and no matter how hard he listened, he couldn't hear what was going on downstairs like he always could. It suddenly felt very cold, on his bare, pale skin and in his different heart: he had become human.

"Owen, are you okay in there? Dinner's almost ready!"

---

"Owen? Wh-what happened to you?"

Choking back tears, he blubbered it all out: the two human people at the mall, how they lied to him and tricked him into drinking something, how they made him sign a waiver, and how it turned him from a Lupine anthro person into a regular human person.

"A-and now I don't even feel like a part of the family anymore," he finished with a sob.

His mother spoke up first. "Look, they still tricked you into it and didn't tell you exactly what it would do, so you can still go back to the mall and demand that they change you back. It sounds to me like those people weren't trustworthy, so if they've packed up and left, you can always ask the mall's management who they were from the license they needed to get to set themselves up there."

"Never think about yourself that way," his father spoke up. "Promise me. You're our son and always will be, no matter what happens to you. Never think that way!" Springing up out of his seat, he strode over to his son and brought him close in a fierce hug. "Tomorrow morning, we will get you back to the way you want to be."

The next morning, the whole family arrived at the mall to find a small crowd of other people - most of them human - gathering around a Badger with a name tag, who was doing his best to stay calm as he addressed them:

"-chased them out as soon as we found out that they'd set themselves up illegally. Those two won't be on their travelling medicine show any more."

Some of the people started grumbling, while others started shouting instead.

"That won't help me! Now I'm stuck like this forever!"

"How will I face my mate now?"

"They told me it'd turn me male, and there wasn't anything in their waiver about it! My uncle's a lawyer who used to be a Marine-"

"I actually don't mind!"

The manager did his best to choke back his frown at the sight of the crowd about to turn on itself. "All right, just stop all the - listen to me!! I called the police, so if you can check the local station and make your reports there, they can look for those miscreants and find out how they did what they did to you. In the meantime, I'm no expert, but I'm certain that human beings have trade-offs, like perhaps a stronger liver tolerance, or-"

"You suggesting we drink away our sorrows? I can't believe you'd let-"

" I'd never let this happen to anyone!" His snarl turning to an embarrassed frown, the manager jammed a hand into his pocket and shredded his second stress ball that week. "Look, just please head to that police station? It's only four blocks south of here, and you'll be much more helpful complaining there than you ever will here, all right?"

On the way, Owen found the dark-skinned women with short hair who was the one to shout that she didn't mind. "If you'd rather be this way," he asked, "why did you show up with everyone else?"

"No I don't. I just didn't mind it. I look at it like, I can see the world in a different way, I don't have to worry about my heat coming in at exam times, and it'll come in handy for stopping stuff like this from happening to other people. It won't be my reputation on the line next time!"

"You're planning on being a jerk to people who're jerks to other people? Isn't that becoming what you hate?"

She paused for a bit, then gave a guilty frown. "Not if I- Well, I... Yeah. You're right. How come so many righteous causes end up turning out to be revenge?"

"I dunno. People doing them to other people in return for them getting done to themselves? Anyway, I'd rather get myself back to normal. I used to be Lupine, and now I feel like I have to smell everything through gauze."

They chatted the rest of the way, though Owen couldn't think of a polite way to ask her what she was like before it happened. When they got to the police station, they were asked to line up and give statements separately, in case they were called upon for testimony. Things went smoothly until a pair of voices from one of the holding cells spoke up:

"Don't call it 'fursecution'! Oh, you're gonna anyway! It's like Godwin's Law for furries; give me my watch back so I can time them!"

"I'd like you to write it down that we're just gullible pawns. I don't know who's in charge, but I do know that you won't be able to catch everyone who'd been suckered in to this all over the world. It's just inevitable that everyone will eventually end up as they should be."

A red-haired human officer harrumphed back at them. "Then you're gonna be charged with conspiracy, and we've already sent word of this to the provincial and national departments. We'll nab the whole lot of you soon after each station gets their first complaint! Could someone shut the doors? We don't want them getting their victims all riled up." As another officer went out, he turned and raised his hands calmingly. "Now if those perps actually knew what they were doing, I'm sure any judge would order them to help change you all back as part of their community service. If not, we've got psychotherapy and halfway houses to make sure they can see things from other points of view. Either way, we'll have you all back to the way you should be in due time. Thank you all for your patience."

"Actually," the man next to Owen muttered, "If it can happen that quickly, I'd rather end up Equine instead."

"Hm? So you can get faster and more stamina?

"...Yeah, that's it. Yeah."