Every Little Piece of your Life
#5 of Keep a Light
Three months pass...
And I'm still living in the old cave, my old den, with Rifka and Sasha. Sasha recovered really nicely, and I'm teaching him to hunt now. He needs to, now that winter's coming. It's night out, and it's autumn, and it's very cold, even with the fire. Sasha and Anechka are sound asleep right next to me, and it makes me smile thinking about them. Sasha yawns wide and wraps his tail around Anechka's. I think it's really sweet.
Anechka and I didn't always sleep in the same room. When I first brought them back on that day. At first, she and I slept in completely different rooms, and Sasha would sleep with her. But little Sasha kept getting up in the middle of the night to come cuddle with me, and sooner than later, she and I shared the same room Sasha between us. It made me happy, and for the first time in my life, I actually felt like the alpha I was supposed to be. Even though I had a mate I could only be friends with, and a son who wasn't mine. Still, it made me happy protecting and feeding them, the way a wolf should. It was a simple life, but it was mine, and it was stable, and it was good.
But I am restless tonight. I've been walking a lot lately, thinking about things. Old things, new things, things I had to do in the morning. I get up and look over longingly at Anechka, curled in a little ball. No doubt thinking about Anya or some other pretty girl she once knew. I shook my head and ran a paw over my ear. Still, I was happy for her. That's all I really wanted. My life was perfect if she could be happy, and she seemed to be. Now that I was the keeper of an entire territory, I might be able to find a few spare wolves to keep in my pack. It was a slow road, but I had finally become the alpha my father thought I could be. It felt light as a feather, being that free. I felt as if I had finally lived up to all my repsonsibilities as a wolf.
During the day, I would hunt for squirrels or hares, little things that I could catch without too much trouble. Anechka would tell Sasha stories, and sing him songs about wolves with wings, and mighty battles in faraway places, and the brave wolves who fought them. She loved to teach him how to howl and about the old days, when she was a pup. Sometimes, I would take Sasha out, and I would teach him how to hunt. He was getting better every day, and it warmed my heart to see him grow like that. It reminded me of when I learned to hunt, pouncing clovers and snapping at mice. It made me think about my old pack, and how many teachers I had.
I remember coming back to them, on that day three months ago, and telling them to follow me. When Sasha's father left, most of the other wolves of my old pack followed him. The cave was almost empty. As we approached, I saw Shaindel, walking out, a purely blank look on her face. She turned, and saw me. She said nothing, did nothing. The only indication that she noticed me was a small twitch in her ears, which I barely noticed. She walked right past us, and into the woods, following her pack. I have no idea where they went, nor do I care, much. I'm sure they found some place to survive, and in that case, I'm glad for them. But I had a new life now, one that brought be a lot of comfort.
I walk to the opening of the cave and look out over the night. It's bright out, there are no clouds. The moon hangs in the sky like a shining jade plate. My ears perk, and I can hear the wind, whispering through the trees, blowing red leaves into the air. It's a wonderful night, a beautiful night. A perfect night, and I smile. It was a night where I could clear my head for good, maybe. I look up into the infinate mass of stars and I feel so insignificant, so peaceful to have my small roll in the world. All my fears are laid to rest, and I can at least relax, now.
But something is wrong. The wind stops. The swaying trees don't rustle anymore, and I can't hear a thing. My ears cock, and I hear nothing.
And then I hear it. A sharp cry in the night, bright and sharp like the image of the moon in a cold, clear lake. A howl. The howl of the only wolf that ever loved me. I shiver, but I step out of the cave anyway. Someone tugs at my tail.
"Avie? Where are you going?" Sasha asks.
"Me? I'm going to go on a little walk." I smile at him.
"You aren't leaving again, are you?" He looks a little worried.
"Nah, no. I'll come back, I promise."
"Then why are you leaving at all? Why can't you stay with me and Annie?"
"Because I did something I had no right to do." I kneel down and kiss Sasha between his ears.
I stand up, and I walk out into the night.
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Keep a light on those you love.
They will be there when you die.
Baby, there\'s no need to fear.
Baby, there\'s no need to cry.
Every little piece of your life,
Will add up to one.
Every little piece of your life,
Will mean something to someone.
-The Editors