Pawford Personalities, Ch 1: Spaghetti and Meatball
Pawford Personalities Ch 1: Spaghetti and Meatball
Locker was not particularly a fan of fine dining, but it was a compromise he settled on with his wife when they moved to Pawford; he would promise her one very nice dinner every week no matter how far they had to drive and he could get a small town where he could run his business how he wanted without having to deal with overbearing city officials (her words, not his-- he preferred pencil-pushing ass-hats). Pulling into the driveway of Mamma Bella, Locker wondered if they would be able to keep the tab under $100.
As the finest Italian restaurant within 100 miles of Pawford, Mama Bella was one of his wife's favorite places to eat. Prima Stella di Maggio, unlike Thumb Locker, was a first generation American; her parents had immigrated from itally several months before she was born, so she had the whole culture down, up to and including an accent, when she chose to use it. Like many proud Italian Dogs, she was not content to have just one commonly used name, so she switched between 'Prima' and 'Maggie' as the mood struck; he preferred Maggie.
"Pollo brasato con melanzane arrostite." she said to him as she got out of the car.
"Huh?" he questioned, opening the back door for their daughter.
"I saw it on the menu last time," Maggie announced, "Everything here is so good I think they might actually get it right." Despite how conceited the comment sounded, Locker knew that Maggie had the culinary expertise to back it up; if anyone in Pawford knew how to cook, it was his wife.
Dot hopped out of the car, but paused, not allowing Locker to close the door before she settled her doll into her vacant car seat. The little pup strapped the pretty little keese hound toy in place then secured its seat belt. Dot looked back toward him, "Alright, Daddy, I'm ready!"
"Course you are, Meatball..." the pit bull acknowledged, "nobody loves family dinner night as much as you do."
His daughter giggled at the pet name he chose for her, and held out an arm, "Going up!" she announced, and he obediently complied, grabbing hold of her wrist in one paw, and yanking her up into the air. He let her go at the apex of her ascent and reached out with his other arm, tucking it under her rump to pull her up onto his back. From there, she scrambled quickly up onto his shoulders, where she sat down with one leg on either side of his neck, holding onto his ears for balance.
"You're not having maccheroni e formaggio tonight, Tessa." Maggie pointed out to the pup.
"But mama!"
"No buts, amore mio..." Maggie cut the objection short, "you are going to start eating right."
"Daddy?" Dot questioned, pulling his ears for effect.
"You heard her, Meatball... if your mama says no macaroni and cheese then I'm not going to say you can, so you'll just have to find something else."
"Aw..." she pouted but she knew better than to make a scene, so she settled for laying her head down on the top of his and letting out a long, overly dramatic sigh.
"Relax, squirt," Locker gave her legs a little shake, "No reason you can't have some gelato for dessert if you pick out something your mama agrees with."
"Really?" the pup inquired, her tail thwapping Locker repeatedly in the back, and he could feel the shift in her weight as she looked to her.
Maggie sighed, "Yes, Tessa..." she acknowledged, "But it will have to have a good dinner, and eat all of the vegetables."
Dot sighed, "Mac and cheese doesn't have vegetables." she mumbled to herself, but otherwise remained attentive and appropriate.
The wait, as Locker had expected, was a long one. It took almost twenty minutes for them to get seated, but once they had, the pit bull had no problem filling up on bread sticks; Mamma Bella had GREAT bread sticks. Not everyone was allowed to be quite so free with them, however.
"No, Dot... that's enough bread." Maggie pulled the bread plate away from their daughter.
"But Daddy had SIX!" the little girl objected at the OBVIOUS injustice of it all.
"Well, when YOU'RE a Daddy you can have six too, Meatball." Locker pointed out casually.
"But..." the pup's muzzle screwed up in confusion, "I'm a GIRL! I CAN'T be a Daddy!"
"You can in Massachusetts." the pit bull mumbled quietly chuckling to himself.
"Locker," Maggie spoke to him, "Put away the bread... be a good example, please." He sighed, and put back his most-recent acquisition of bread, then, smirking, pulled a half-chewed piece out of his muzzle and set it in the basket as well. Dot giggled at that, but his wife was obviously not so pleased, "bambino." she mumbled.
"Buonasera." announced the waiter, arriving at JUST the right time for Locker to avoid a lengthy talking-to from his wife. "Welcome to Mamma Bella." he glanced around at everyone, "Is everyone ready to order, or do you need a few more minutes?"
"We're ready, thanks." Locker noted, glancing at his watch, "Forty minutes is enough time to figure out what we want."
"The chicken with eggplant." Maggie pointed at the dish on the menu. She also selected the soup to go with it
Thumb-Locker pointed at random, "This looks good." he noted.
"And what about you, sweetie?" the waiter asked, kneeling down so he could be at Dot's eye-level.
"Spaghetti!" the pup noted enthusiastically.
The waiter went pale, "Spaghetti?"
"She said spaghetti." Locker acknowledged, not bothering to fight back the scowl on his face.
"Wouldn't you rather--"
"She said spaghetti." Maggie repeated, "... is this a problem?" the expression she wore was one that Locker knew well, and he smiled on the inside; the pit bull loved the way humans tended to react when Dogs ordered spaghetti... especially pups.
"No... of course not, Sir." the waiter acknowledged, and marked it down on their ticket, "But we DO have a very nice macaroni and chee--"
"She said spaghetti." Maggie's voice came out as a mix of words and a growl; the waiter made himself scarce.
"Mama..." Dot rested a paw on her mother's arm, "if you want, Daddy can break a toe off in his rectum."
Locker couldn't hold back a laugh, but it stopped at the scathing glare from his wife, "Thumb-Locker... is this REALLY the kind of thing you want to be teaching our little tesoro?"
He shrugged, "Well, Maggie... Hoss at work was having trouble with a customer and I had to step in--"
"I have NO idea how something like that would come up in casual conversation!" she interrupted.
"Nothing casual about it, Prima... he was bein' a prick, and I figured that 'rectum' was better than 'ass'." Locker damned himself the moment he heard Dot laugh at his use of words; Maggie was not quite as pleased.
"Excuse me..." noted and older woman human standing beside their table. She looked a little unsure of herself as she paused long enough to reflect on Locker's last comment, but she finally spoke her mind, "Your little girl is DARLING."
"I know..." the pit bull stated in monotone without even a moment's pause, "I see her every day."
"Oh honey, be nice." Maggie rolled her eyes, "Such a child." she dismissed her husband with the wave of a paw, turning to regard the older woman, "Thank you very much, madam... it comes from my side of the family," she smirked, "As you can tell."
"She gets her attitude from her mother too." Locker added with a smirk of his own.
"Oh..." the old woman stated, "well... um..." she paused, "That's all I wanted to say... good night, then." and she wandered off, leaving both pit bulls glancing at one another; they started chuckling in unison.
"What is it about humans and puppies?" Locker asked his wife.
"They're the same way about babies too." Maggie acknowledged, "It's--" and she paused as the waiter stopped by again with a fresh basket of bread sticks.
"You might want to keep walking, guy." Locker noted to him, "You're about to cost yourself a tip." The waiter too the advice and moved on without setting the basket down.
The family of pit bulls continued their dining experience, let to themselves for long enough to relax, but shortly thereafter a young couple invited themselves over, once more drawn to Dot.
"She is just the CUTEST thing..." the female woman said to the male.
"I know!" the man agreed, "I could just take her home!"
"Except you won't." Maggie stated flatly, "She's my daughter, not yours."
The couple was taken aback, "Oh!" the man said, "I didn't mean--"
"is this some kinda shopping trip for you?" Locker chimed in, "You think this is Petco? Do you want to buy our DAUGHTER and take her home? Are you gonna put a collar on her, call her Princess, and bring her to a vet to be get her rabies shot?"
"I already had my rabies shot." Dot informed them with a smile.
"Yes you did, sweety." acknowledged Locker, "And you don't have to get another until high school."
The two humans looked at one another and wordlessly showed themselves out, mumbling something about Dogs and rabies shots. Locker glanced to his daughter and held his paw out in a fist; she bumped it with her own.
"Rabies shots?" Maggie demanded, looking at Locker and their daughter, "Really?"
Locker grinned, "Did you see how big her eyes got?"
"It was a little over-the-top." she stated, but the critique ended there as their food finally arrived, "Next time stick with de-worming."
"Worms?" Dot gasped, "EEEWWWW!"
"Yea, Maggie... 'eewww'!" Locker imitated his daughter as the waiter went around the table, setting down dishes, "and you said I'M bad for saying 'rectum' around her." Their waiter did not hang around very long, quickly showing himself away, but Locker didn't miss the fact that he lingered just within view of the table, obviously expecting something involving a puppy and spaghetti.
The three dogs settled into their meals and, despite what the waiter had expected, Dot had absolutely no trouble with her dinner. Locker chuckled when he heard his wife mumble to herself in Italian. Unlike her, his parents never spoke it at home so most of what he learned came from her, but he recognized more than one four-letter word; she did NOT like humans assuming her daughter was naturally unable to eat spaghetti. He didn't come around until the meal ended... which was probably one of the best decisions he made that night. Unfortunately, Locker mused, he followed that up with another bad one.
"Wow... you finished that whole plate by yourself!" the waiter noted to Dot.
"Please do not belittle my daughter." Maggie stated with severity.
"Oh... I'm sorry..." the man began sweating immediately, "I just meant--"
"You meant that you thought she'd get more of it over her muzzle than in it, and that she'd make a fool of herself and disturb everyone else eating here?" Locker demanded.
"No, I--" the waiter objected.
"Just bring the check, please." Maggie waved him away.
"He's such a human." Locker rolled his eyes after the waiter skittered off.
"I liked the man that waited on us last time... what was his name?" Maggie paused, "Mario, I think..."
"Yea... at least he bothered talking to Dot..." Locker nodded, glancing to his daughter, "Didn't he, meatball?"
The little pup nodded, "He asked me how old I was." she confirmed.
"And how old did you tell him?" Maggie inquired. Dot held up one paw with all five digits, and one with one, "Very good, mio tesoro."
"And then he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up." the pup sighed, "They always ask me what I want to be when I grow up."
"Well, you know why that is, don't you, meatball?" Locker asked of his daughter. Dot shrugged in response. The pit bull leaned over closer to her and fake-whispered, "Because they still don't know what THEY want to do and they're looking for ideas."
The waiter did a quick stop-and-go at their table, leaving the check without waiting around. Locker smiled to himself; as usual his family made quite an impression-- in reflection, he didn't always look forward to dining out, but he had to admit that it never failed to entertain.