Goodbye girl:A memorial story
I'm back once again, it has been a while since I have wrote anything, I know. Things have been kind of up in the air right now so...hasn't exactly been easy to sit down and concentrate.
Anyway, thought I'd give a go at writing a story that is part true about my beloved dog who died a couple of weeks ago and me, and part fiction using native indian mythology.
"Goodbye, Holly" I said through choked up emotions as the vet finished putting my dog to sleep. It was a hard decision to make, but after seeing her sadly declining state I had to do the kindest thing as her body began to give in.
I buried my head in her soft, brown mane for the final time as my body shook as I cried over losing her. It just wasn't fair, she was such a beautiful and sweet natured dog, loved by lots of people round my area. She had the most beautiful, watery brown eyes that could warm even a stone cold heart that sat on top of a medium length pointed muzzle. A stocky body probably owed to the sheltie in her, as well as her bushy, rudder like tail, mane and tufts of fur on her feet and bottom legs. And a pair of floppy, semi pointed ears owing to the spaniel mixed in her breed along with whatever else she had in her parentage. She had a beautiful, thick and soft fur coat that was mostly black with a tan brown mane and chest as well as tan furry legs and a white lower belly.
I tore myself from her still body, ushered gently out of the vets as tears still streamed down my face. Holly, the most special and most wonderful dog that I have ever known and my pet, the one that had rescued me from my prison of isolation and got me enjoying life was gone. It just didn't seem possible, there's no way a dog that is so special and loved by family and the town could go at just 11 years old, but she was. I would never again be able to hold her, to run my hands through her soft fur or gaze into those beautiful eyes. Never would she do something to make me laugh or just admire her gentle and loving nature.
The worst part was letting the people know about it, every time I would have to explain to someone which would bring the pain back anew and I would find myself wishing that she was still here.
Family and friends tried to console me, but it was no use. A great void had been left in my life without her and quite often I would wake up after dreaming of how I used to let her loose on the fields and how she would be alive with curiosity as her jet black fur was reflected by the sun.
I would wake up, the first word on my lips would be her name as I felt the urge to break down and cry at the cruelness of the dream.
For the next few days it would be like this, wanting to let go of a special dogs memory but unable too. She was so much more than a pet after all and learning to cope without her was a real struggle.
But then something strange happened one night as I lay asleep, I felt as if I was been called somewhere and felt a strange sort of tugging sensation. Walking, or more like floating, I headed in the general direction of the noise. As I got closer I could make out a familiar noise, it sounded like barking to me, a dogs bark. It had a very distinctive noise to it when suddenly I recognised it as sounding the same as my Holly's and drifted faster in the direction the sound was coming from.
As the sound grew louder, I could start to make out a shape. Feeling my heart pound, I suddenly stopped "this is...just another teasing dream. I should turn back before it's too late and the damage is done").
Just as I figured how to turn myself around in this weird dream, the figure suddenly got up and turned around. It was hard to make it out at first, what with the figure been mostly covered in black fur, but as it started walking closer I was stunned when I saw her beautiful, deep brown eyes, followed by a brown, or rather tan furred front.
I felt myself choking back emotions, this was too cruel, even for a dream it was all too cruel.
"Ho-Holly?" I said as my voice cracked, sounding like a whine more than anything else.
"It is good to see you, even if it isn't exactly you" Holly said in a sweet voice. Her tail wagged slowly back and forth in amusement at my reaction, she had never talked in my dreams and neither had they been felt with such realism like this.
"Holly, when did...you learn to talk, how can you talk?" I said, noticing again that my voice came out in something of a whine.
As she came right up to me I noticed that she was about as big as me somehow "since you had to borrow that body in order to see me" she said with her tongue out in a dogs smile.
I looked down at my body and sure enough, I realised that I was on four furry feet that bore a similar resemblance to her. A little less fluffy and slightly bigger but still looked good all the same, well as much of me that I could see from this kind of angle anyway.
Before I could help myself I had bounded on top of her and was covering her cute face in licks with my long tongue "I know this is a dream" I said between licks "but I intend to enjoy every bit of this one!" I said joyfully as I buried my muzzle into her soft mane.
I suddenly fell forward with a yelp as she backed off "no, this isn't a dream. You're currently half way into the spirit world, but I can't pass on because I still have ties holding me to the living" at this a dog emerged from view. Not just any dog, but the most beautiful dog that I had ever seen although her breed was hard to distinguish as one minute she looked like a Golden Retriever and next minute she seemed to be some other breed, but no less impressive.
"Who...are you?" I said somehow feeling humbled and crouching instinctively and tucked my tail in submission. The dog was about of normal size but may as well of been the size of a bus for how massive her presence felt.
Holly had also bowed at her presence as she tucked her tail and dipped her ears in respect.
"I am dog spirit, or as you humans refer us to as spirit totems" she, as it turned out to be by her voice, said as the explanation left me stunned. "And no, this is not a dream; you are in the spirit world, or at least, part way in any case. It seems that neither of you can move on because you still hold onto each other's memory, so I have given you a borrowed body in order to work that out and meet each other a last time".
"Wait, I still don't understand" I said tentatively "why can't she move on?".
"It would seem that there are things she has to do and say before she departs for the spirit plane, that and your strong feelings are keeping her anchored to this world so for her sake, try to let her go by the end" and with that said, dog spirit vanished.
"So then...this isn't a dream?" I said as I swung my head round to nip myself on the behind to make sure, a yelp of pain confirmed it wasn't a dream.
"Hey, careful with that body, it's not yours you know?" Holly said with a quiet bark of a laugh at my antics.
Turning round I couldn't help the feeling that things had been reversed between Holly and me right now.
"Holly, I don't know if I can carry on without you. I miss you so much that it's unbearable, and the landlord won't even let me get another dog so I just feel this constant aching void where you were once there" I whined in dog fashion as I looked upon her with sad brown eyes.
"It's okay, I understand. It is hard to live alone with little say in your situation, I wish that there was more that I could do really" she said softly as she licked me tenderly on my muzzle.
I couldn't help a happy whine as I nuzzled her back, flicking an ear forward as I did so.
"There are so many things that I want to ask you, like why did you always choose my dad over me when it came down to visiting them? I always did my best with you, and was hurt when you wouldn't come to me despite my best efforts with you".
"Silly" Holly said with a gentle bite on my neck, in which I rolled over in submission as I have seen many times. "It was because that he was the one that rescued me from that horrible kennels and I never forgot or about his scent, even after we had all split up. I did love you, you know that, but I had my mind set on him as my alpha. Besides, you didn't exactly welcome me when I first arrived.
I bared my teeth at this and growled a little at the memory "that's because you tried to kill my cat, and you was the first dog I ever had much contact with. I was young so how do you expect me to react?"
"I thought so, but I just wanted to hear it from you is all. I knew that you didn't intend any harm, I know that. I miss that little cat that I eventually called friend by the end of her life too, which is why I jumped into her favourite chair when she had been put down. It was my way of mourning her, just like you mourn me".
I lifted my tail and head up at this, something else we had common ground on. Truth been told I probably had more in common with Holly then I did with my family.
"Yeah, I know. Heh, it was the old Garfield and Odie routine with you two sometimes, I found you both hilarious" I bared my fangs in a dogs grin.
"Well I'm glad that you thought so, she could be scary when she wanted to but I do remember us sharing in the odd touching moments". No sooner had she finished when the surrounds changed from darkness to a field on a spring day.
"What the?" I barked as I looked around "is this the old airfield?" I said as looking around, I noticed that it was without any sort of tampering unlike more recently with the bastards preparing it for houses.
I was snapped out of my surprise as I received a lick-kiss on the side of my muzzle before she playfully nipped my ear and bounded away "come on, bet you can't catch me" she said with her fluffy hindquarters and tail raised in the air as she had a mischievous look in her eyes.
I was drawn to her beautiful brown eyes that seemed to glow in the light of the sun before she whipped her head round and dashed across the field.
I forgot how much of a miniature rocket she could be when she was younger, as the distance soon widened between us before I decided to give chase.
This felt so much better than just running on two legs, it seemed to be the only way to travel as the wind rushed in my face and ruffled the fur on my body as I stuck my tongue out, partly for air with the speed I was now going at and partly out of the joy of it.
"Hey Holly!!" I barked as I closed the gap on her, she turned round with surprise on her face as to the amount of distance that I had covered.
She wasn't looking where she was going and tripped over her paws, ending in a heap on the ground in the tall grass. Alarmed, I put on an extra spurt of speed to see if she was alright. "Holly, are you okay, you haven't hurt anything have you?" I whimpered in concern as I sniffed and checked for any injuries on her. My long ears were dipped low at feeling responsible for it.
"Silly" she said softly from her lying position on the ground "these aren't physical bodies like in the world of the living, so there is no bones to break right now". She then proceeded to roll about on her back on the dry soil "but that's what I love about you, you are so concerned but just a bit too much so".
She then stopped to look at me with a sweet look in her deep brown eyes as she caught me staring at her fluffy belly with her row of nipples and puffy lips.
I swung my head quickly round, my tail swinging agitatedly in embarrassment.
"Why so embarrassed? You used to look at them all the time when you first started to accept me"
Holly whined reassuringly to me.
"You remember that?" I said in alarm before hanging my head "sorry, just that you was the first dog that I ever had got close to what with been afraid of them before, and I admit that I was fascinated with how swollen they was, even some time after you had finished feeding your pups" I said, my tail still swinging in an agitated manner "and...I did find you to be very cute" I finished lamely.
I gave a start as she bumped me gently "that's alright, you was young back then, if anything I also enjoyed the attention, which is why I enjoyed my belly rubs so much".
She gave my face a tender lick, "do you...still love me?" she said quietly.
I was a little surprised by the question but answered calmly "of course I do, a lot of people love you and still miss you" I said as I placed a paw on her brown, furry chest.
"No, yours went a bit deeper than that, I can tell" Holly said in a quiet whine, I was then surprised when she gave my privates a quick sniff "I can tell that in your scent that you love me like a male would. I wasn't ignorant to your words, I couldn't understand them then but now I do. I could tell by your scent how you wished you was another male dog so you could have been the one to of given me pups".
I swear, if I had been human right now, my entire face would have been glowing like a beacon, as it was I just lowered my gaze to stare at the grass and fidgeted my brown paws uncomfortably. "It's okay, I love you too" she whined gently at me, as if reassuring a pup.
"But...I always thought that you loved my dad, you always seemed to choose him whenever we went to visit" I spoke in a low growl of frustration and confusion. "So why did you bring me to this place in the first place, why not him instead?" I said with an accusing stare at Holly.
She shook her head a bit in an imitation of us, causing her long ears to flop a little bit "because unfortunately, it took death to make me realise who my alpha truly was when it was you who wouldn't let me go. Even after my death, you still mourn for me, as if I was an actual person where the rest of the family started to get over it. That's when I knew who I wanted to be my life mate...you".
I was shocked by all this and my tongue just hung out limply in my muzzle, not sure of what to say "Holly I...ah I can't be your mate. Dog spirit said that this body is borrowed so I can't stay here, I have to return to the real world, in my human body as much as I don't want to.
I suddenly felt a pain, a sensation like as if a certain link was starting to dissolve.
"Holly, you had better hurry up and give him your gift, otherwise he will die if her remains too much longer from his body" dog spirit said warningly to us both.
"We're out of time I'm afraid" Holly said as she turned around and lifted her bushy tail up and out the way to present her fluffy backside to me "quickly, mount me" she said in an urgent tone.
I staggered back a few steps at that in shock and surprise "y-you mean...as in mate?"
"Please, hurry!" she said as she started lapping at my muzzle and face in an urgent, loving fashion "otherwise I can't give you my gift".
"But this is another dog's body I'm in, I can't..." I was silenced when she clamped her muzzle over mine.
"He won't remember what happened but please, hurry before you are forced to be sent back" she begged me.
"But what is this 'gift' you speak of" I wondered, feeling a bit light headed right now whether from her scent or my spirit link slowly dissolving it was hard to tell.
"It is a part of me, in time your spirit will be altered enough for you to come here after you pass but please, you must do it now, otherwise you can never come back after I move in, this is a limbo type of plane" she said with thick, wet streaks running from her eyes as though crying.
Realising what this gift would mean, I very hesitantly mounted her, gasping as her long fur that surrounded her privates brushed against my member, which was thoroughly hardened by her scent now.
I made a high pitched, pleasurable whine as my member started to sink home, the times I had looked at that area just thinking of how soft and perfect her vagina looked and wanting to know how it felt. Now I did and it felt totally amazing at the softness of her skin which bulged slightly from my knot.
"Open...your mouth" Holly whined in a high pitch from the coupling, I didn't think but just did as she asked when to my surprise, she slipped her long tongue into my maw as if imitating a humans kiss.
Her wonderful soft fur, her beautiful face, her loving brown, watery eyes. I just couldn't believe this was happening, my goddess, the one being on this earth who was able to help me so much in life was actually mating with me. A dream I had harboured for quite some time as I had always felt a love for her like no other, this was too good to be a dream, I didn't want it to be a dream.
I felt my body tense just then as two sensations ran through my body, the sensation of an orgasm as I whined and howled into her mouth and at the same time I felt as if something was travelling through my penis and maw, a really curious sensation.
Having my knot shrunk enough, I pulled away from her and rolled onto my back to gaze at the blue sky, a light spring breeze ruffling my fur and the tall grass.
Holly loomed into view as she stood over me to gaze at me tenderly, looking very happy with herself, a look of shock passed her features as I wrapped both fore paws and hind paws round her body and rolled around in the grass and dirt, ruffling both of our furs in the process as I felt a happiness that I thought I never would of experienced. We both took turns in exchanging licks and nuzzles of affection as we tumbled playfully like new born pups.
"What was that?" I asked with my tongue out in sheer happiness and my eyes sparkling.
"You now have a bit of my spirit in you, when you eventually pass over, you will be admitted to this place where we can meet again" Holly said before a serious expression passed over her face "but only if you die naturally, I don't want you to kill yourself just because you want to see me otherwise my spirit will die alongside yours. Keep living please, and keep on loving the unfortunate dogs at the shelter".
"It will be hard but...I'll try my best to keep going, ugh" I cried out as I suddenly felt myself starting to fade, the field we was in faded around us.
"The spirit body that he is inhabiting is rejecting his because he is slowly dying, he has to leave now" dog spirit said as she emerged from Holly's body.
I looked on surprised until she explained "how do you think she was able to give you some of her spirit? It is not exactly a natural process really" she said before her body glowed as everything started to white out.
"Wait!! I, I don't want to leave you Holly. There was so much more that I wanted to talk about" I cried feebly as my spirit was separated from my hosts.
"I'll be waiting for you, time doesn't hold us here" Holly said. The last thing that I saw was her wet, shining eyes with tears.
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I awoke with a cry, feeling weak and feverish as if from a nasty bug. I looked around at my surrounds, had it all been just a cruel dream, just to tease me?
I felt like crap as I climbed out of bed, still night time I guessed from how dark it is as I fumbled for the light switch.
I squinted as the light blurred in my sleepy eyes, I must look as crap as I felt. Damn I wish Holly wouldn't haunt my dreams so much. This one was the most teasing and realistic one yet.
I looked myself in the mirror and gave a short gasp as to what I saw, my eye colour had changed from light blue to a beautiful brown. The same as Holly's eyes.
It was then that I noticed a bulge in my pants just above my buttocks in my pants, quickly pulling them down a bushy tail sprouted forth.
I gazed at the extra appendage, not believing in what it was that I was seeing. It was almost the exact same as Holly's tail, just a bit longer really.
As I realised it wasn't all a dream, that a part of her lived in me I fell to the ground, an echo seemed to run through my mind "I will always be with you in spirit, you won't ever be truly alone" clutching my tail as tears streamed from my eyes "oh...Holly" I cried, caressing the tail.
Well, that's that for now. Don't know when I'll be able to get back round to some more writing but I hope to keep going in the future. Later!