A new beginning
#13 of The Knights of Juno
Alrighty, the next two chapters of the Knights of Juno are finally done. I hope you will enjoy them.
As always, comments are appreciated and requested.
continued from 'The Ancient Story...'
Malcolm sat on the stone outside the cave that had become his home. The night air was chilly, but he didn't dare light a fire to warm up. In the three weeks since they had come here, fleeing the wrath of the dragonlord Argil, the valley had been overflown twice by dragons. The second time, they had circled high above it for almost an hour while he and his companions hid in the cave, hardly daring to breathe. Since the circling dragons hadn't come back, the four renegades had figured that they hadn't been detected. But still, though winter was coming, they didn't dare attract attention with a fire while on watch. And that was the one thing that they hadn't thought of when they had picked out this place. Of course, with the rider's enchanted clothing, and the dragon's own enchanted hide, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. It felt merely pleasantly cool rather than cold, though the last two nights Malcolm had come in from his shift with frost forming in his dreadlocks. Sighing, the knight looked up at the endless stars and let his attention drift, picking out the old constellations. Orion the hunter was easiest to find, likewise Cassiopeia, called Tryan and the Song Stars respectively by dragonkind. Shivering a little in unease, the knight wrapped his arms around himself and tried to find Taurus, rather than thinking about the dream he had had last night. Or rather, the dream he thought he had been having.
The main problem was that things had been getting more than a little muddled for him lately. Since he and Turquoise spent much of their time alone together these days, their mental connection had seemed to be growing in strength; true, it grew slowly, but still, perceptibly. Barely a week ago, he had woken out of sleep in the morning to find that he had dreamed of being on guard, but his hands had been scaled in blue-green, his sight the sight of a dragon. And twice more, he had had moments when he hadn't been himself, or rather, that he had been seeing things from his dragon's eyes. Up until last night, they had been brief glimpses, little more than after-images akin to those left on one's sight after a flash of lightning. But last night, Twilight had insisted on taking a turn on night guard, and for the first time since they had arrived, Malcolm had curled up beside Turquoise to sleep.
He had dreamed then, a dream like no other he had ever had. It had been vivid, and detailed as only a true experience could have been, yet unmistakably a dream. It had been only dimly lit, as by starlight on a moonless night, but he had been snuggled up close to someone whose body was warm, sweet scented and smooth. But, gradually he had become aware that the person with whom he was cuddling had scales, wings and a tail. And then, he had found his eyes locked with a pair of gorgeous, and yet obviously draconian eyes, glowing the perfect hue of the stone for which their owner was named. And then, they had kissed, gently, and yet passionately. With that admittedly delightful image, the dream had ended. He had awoken to the pale hues of dawn creeping through the tunnel into the cavern, exactly where he had been when he had gone to sleep. And yet, as he had lain, considering the odd dream, stunned by his own mind's musings, he had realized that he remembered something more, something he had missed the first time. All through the dream, he had felt a strange longing, a sadness really, a need that he had felt only once before and then only in passing. But the need had not come from within his heart, though it drove like a knife into his soul...
"Want some company?" A voice suddenly asked, making the knight jump. Shifting his gaze closer to home than the pinpricks in the endless black velvet, he found Turquoise standing at his side, her eyes warm and yet unreadable. Smiling, he nodded, gesturing to the stone beside him. The dragoness sat down on the rock, her eyes still on him, the expression unreadable. "I couldn't sleep."
"You too, huh?" Malcolm replied, unable to keep a smile from his face. Just when he was feeling out of sorts, she had come to his rescue. After a few more moments of watching him in silence, the dragoness turned her gaze from him and looked up at the sky, joining her rider in stargazing. After a few more brief moments of silence, she spoke again.
"There's Quetzalcoatl," Turquoise said, pointing to the curling string of stars that the Greeks had called 'Draco'.
Malcolm smiled, remembering the story of how the names of that constellation had come about. Quetzalcoatl had once been a dragonlord, a very powerful one in fact, who, having had a special place in his heart for birds, had used his magic to permanently alter his shape, becoming more a feathered serpent than a dragon. But by mistake, he also altered the essence of his life force, forever limiting it. Knowing that someday, he would die, he settled in a land where few other dragons had lived. Eventually, trying to leave a legacy worthy of remembrance, he had taken the ancient Aztecs under his wing. He began to teach them the wisdom that many other cultures had learned, but when they had started worshiping him instead of learning from him as he had intended, he had left them to travel to other lands. But by then, his years were almost spent, and he came to rest at last among a people that were wise and learned already, a place where he did not feel the need to interfere or to teach. He finally died near a place that would later be called Athens. The Greeks that lived nearby, seeing the great serpent in death, had known that he was a being of great power, and had honored him by naming the stars Draco. But the dragons themselves always called the stars by the old dragonlord's name, as a reminder of the dangers of magic as much as to remember him.
"Can I ask you something?" the dragoness asked after a moment and Malcolm looked at her once again, surprised by the question.
"Sure." He replied, suddenly a little worried. Turquoise was never exactly hesitant about asking things that came to her mind, so the sudden change put him on guard.
"If you really care for someone who is a friend," She began, looking into the trees that sat across the clearing from them. "Do you think it is better to risk ruining that friendship in the pursuit of more, or to let it be, to remain just a friend?" Malcolm felt his heart give a sudden lurch when she finished the question. Though there was a part of himself who hoped against hope that he was mistaken as to what she was talking about, he knew that there was more, far more, that yearned for his suspicions to be right. Licking his lips nervously, the young knight chose the words of his reply carefully.
"That depends." He said, surprised to find that his voice was warm, welcoming, if a little wavering. "How close is the friend? Is the friend able to return the love, if it is given?"
"Say that the friend is very close, closer than any other." Turquoise replied, her voice quieting almost to a whisper. As she paused, seeming to be considering the second part of his question, Malcolm suddenly realized that she was sitting very close to him, almost touching in fact. She was so close that he could feel the warmth of her draconian form through his jumpsuit. Looking towards his dragon in her hybrid body, the pale starlight outlining her to his night adapted eyes, he found that her gaze was drifting towards him once more, and the dream suddenly returned to his mind once more. And yet, even as felt a shiver of hesitation pass through him, the memory of those moments in her nest, months ago, when he had held her in her misery came rushing back into his mind. And with that memory, came the warm sensation of her clinging to him, and the contentment he had felt while holding her close while she slept against him, sensations that washed away the fear, the small hesitation, replacing it with an odd warmth. And, in the moment that Turquoise opened her mouth to speak once again, Malcolm's hazel eyes met the blue-green stare of his dragon and he found something strange stirring within him. It was a feeling that was so different than any other he had felt that it took him a few moments to recognize it. For it wasn't fear, nor was it quite anticipation; instead, it seemed more akin to a content knowledge of what was to come. When Turquoise spoke, her words were so quiet that he wouldn't have been able to hear them if it hadn't been the middle of the night. "Suppose the friend were able to return it."
"Then I would say," Malcolm began, his words a quiet whisper that almost matched that of his dragon. Unsure even in that moment of what he could say, he tried to steady his nerves, drawing in a deep breath of the night air, air that was filled with the warm inescapable scent of his dragon's body. It was something indefinable, sweet, and yet comforting, and, as he sat, his gaze filled with the reptilian eyes of his mount, he quieted the conflict in his soul. Finally yielding to the voice that urged him on from within his mind, he spoke his fateful words and took the plunge. "That it is better to risk it, and hope."
Turquoise's reply was slow in coming, but poignant as no other. She leaned in close to him, so close that he could feel her scales through the fabric of his jumpsuit, and without giving it a second thought, he met her advance, bringing his arms up, slowly settling them around her, and then, their lips met gently, just as they had in the dream, a kiss that was almost hesitant, and at the same time, filled with passion. Drawing a breath almost of surprise, the dragon in his arms slid her hands around him, and pulled him closer, their kiss deepening. The moment seemed to go on forever, sensations that were wild and wonderful surging to life within the pair, a lifetime passing in an instant.
As the wonderful, spicy and exotic taste of Turquoise's lips filled his mind, Malcolm tried to understand the odd sensations that were welling up in his heart. It felt strange, like there was a battle raging within him. On the one hand, there was the part of himself that wanted to do this, a part that was very strong, but then there was the other side, that side that felt that it was wrong, a part that was weaker perhaps than the first, but not nearly enough to dismiss. And yet, in the arms of the woman he held so close that he could feel her heart beating through his chest, he found a strange sort of warmth, and a comfort that was so complete that all of the problems that faced them seemed to vanish in an instant. It felt so very right to hold her that close that he couldn't begin to imagine what had held him back before, what had made him so hesitant to do it. And, at the same time, as if in answer, he still heard the reluctant voice within him, the voice that rebelled at his choice, though its words were more muffled than ever before.
And then, as swiftly as it had begun, the kiss was broken, both moving back to draw breath, but neither loosening their grip, as if afraid that if they let go, the other would vanish. Smiling warmly at her rider, Turquoise nuzzled Malcolm's neck, drawing a breath filled with his scent, luxuriating in his close embrace. There was no need to speak the words aloud. Both knew what the kiss had meant. After a moment's pause, Turquoise spoke again, a happy tear tracing the outline of the scales of her cheek.
"How long..?" she whispered, unable to complete the sentence. But Malcolm knew what she had meant, and had known too, somehow, that the question was coming.
"I am not sure." He replied, resting his head on hers. "Some weeks I think. It took me a long time to come to grips with it, so it might be even longer than that. And there is still a part of me that thinks this is wrong. How long for you?"
"A year or more." She answered, gently squeezing him in her embrace. "But I had hoped for it since we found out about Twilight and Karen."
"I am sorry, Turquoise." Malcolm said suddenly, the memory of that day in her nest still strong in him. He knew now what been wrong that day, and why it had been his embrace that had seemed to cure her of her sorrow. Pulling back in surprise, Turquoise looked at him with misted eyes, her mind joining with his in that moment, the barriers coming down for the first time in weeks. "Sorry it took me so long. I never meant to cause you pain."
"I know." She said, sliding off the rock to put her back to the warmed stone, Malcolm following her down a moment later. "Most of it was my fault. I wrestled with it for a very long time too. I knew I shouldn't feel that way about you, knew I shouldn't want it from you, but seeing Karen and Twilight, and how happy they were...I guess it made me want the same thing."
"Well you don't have to worry about that anymore Turquoise." He said, pulling her close once more, kissing her lightly on the lips. "I am not sure if it will be easy for me, but I am yours."
Smiling, the blue-green dragoness returned the kiss and nestled in close to him, resting her head on his shoulder. It was a strange thing, but for now, neither felt the urge to go any further. No urge to push on, no need to do anything more. For the moment, both were contented. With a shared smile, rider and dragon held each other close, sharing the warmth of their bodies in the cold night, and together awaited the touch of the first rays of dawn...
***
Malcolm stooped, picking up the dead branch at his feet, adding it to the pile of wood in his arms. Standing back upright, the knight continued on his way across the mountainside, barely restraining the urge to whistle. This morning had marked the end of the first week that had passed since the night when he and Turquoise had gotten together, and he was feeling very good indeed. His mood hadn't even been affected by the changing weather, which was most certainly getting much colder; which was one of the reasons he was out wandering today, despite having been on guard all night. All the uncertainty and fear that had been bearing down on him since they had left the Dragon Mountain seemed so much easier to bear all of a sudden. Still, it was true that every time they did anything more than what friends would do, he had to fight off that part of himself that thought it was wrong, the part that tried to stop him at every turn. He had thought at first that it would get easier as time went on, but so far, that irritating part of himself was proving very stubborn, refusing to let go.
Sighing, Malcolm headed for a fallen tree up the slope from where he was standing, feeling a strange guilt beginning to well up in his heart, though he knew at once it's source. Every night since that first one, they had shared the warmth of their bodies while they shared the watch, cuddling closely against the chill of the night. And, for Malcolm, that had been something more wonderful than anything he had experienced before. Not even his other side could deny that. And now, he understood what Karen had meant when she said how wonderful it was to be with someone who shared your mind, for Turquoise and he hadn't needed to explain their feelings or their hopes or fears; each knew what the other felt. But, even though it had been wonderful, for the last few nights, Turquoise had been...well, not exactly dropping hints, but something close to that, that she wanted to go further with him. It had been little things, like when she snuggled in close to him, she would trail her claws along his skin, inevitably sending a thrill down his spine; or when they held each other close in the minutes before dawn, when the night was at its coldest, she would nuzzle his neck, gently kissing him, her scaly body pressed close to him.
All of those things instantly made his thoughts turn in a more naughty direction than usual, but he had always held back from reciprocating, that incessant doubting voice in his head making him so uncomfortable that he couldn't muster the will to defy it. And yet, he had to admit, he had thought about it before, and he was sorely tempted by the prospect of loving his dragon. Even so, something held him back from going through with it. But that wasn't what was making him feel guilty. That stemmed solely from what had happened last night.
They had been snuggled up against the rock again, and Turquoise had nuzzled his neck, gently kissing his throat once more, but this time had been different. This time, before he had known what he was doing, he had started lightly and sensually stroking his dragon's back, making her shiver, her kisses growing more insistent as his fingers passed down her spine. She had started stroking down his chest with her clawed fingers in return, gently licking his neck in dragon fashion and he had felt his loins begin to stir. And then, about when her claws were caressing his lowest ribs, a sudden feeling of wrongness had overwhelmed everything else and he had grabbed her hand, forcing her to stop. Then, with the pretty dragoness giving him a perplexed look, he had pretended that he had to go relieve himself and had hurried away into the woods.
When he had returned a few minutes later, Turquoise had gone back inside and he had finished out the watch alone, the knowledge that he had hurt her tearing up his insides until he felt about as bad as one could feel without actually being physically injured. He hadn't even gone inside the cave at dawn, instead he had sent a mental message to Karen and Twilight that he was going to gather some firewood and had walked away. He knew that Turquoise had left soon after he had to go hunting, the link they maintained more narrowed and tightly controlled than it had been for more than a month, feeling much like a tendril of ice in his mind. Sighing once more, the knight dropped his pile of dead wood and sat on the fallen log, shaking his head and rubbing his face with his hands. He had immediately regretted what he had done, and now it was gnawing at him like a physical hunger. Looking up into the blue sky above him, he forced himself to go over what had happened just before he had freaked out.
The truth was, and there was no denying it, the closeness of his dragon and her gentle caresses had made him more than a little aroused. In the moments before he had stopped her, he had felt an incredible feeling of attraction to her. He had wanted her, and wanted her badly. And then everything seemed to happen at once. The other side of himself, the side that had fought his every move in their romantic relationship, had rebelled from his control, throwing on the brakes of every feeling in his body. And that had in turn made the other side of himself, the one that was all for it, rebel in turn. Everything had suddenly felt wrong. His attraction for her, his reluctance to go further, and even his ever deepening feelings for her all felt wrong. Sighing again, Malcolm rested his chin on his palm and looked out over the valley once more, his gaze alighting on the grove of scarlet leafed aspens across the valley floor.
'Why so sad, oh brilliant one?' A voice in his head suddenly whispered, a voice that was his and yet not, more like to an echo and Malcolm sighed deeper, his eyes squeezing shut in resignation.
'Oh no,' He said into his head. 'Not you again.'
'Yes, me.' The voice replied smugly, 'I always come around when you need a good mental kick in the pants.'
'Well I don't want to talk about this with you.' Malcolm replied scathingly, shaking his head. 'If I want your help, I will ask for it.'
'Oh yeah, like that'll happen.' The other voice replied sarcastically. 'Face it dreadlocks, you're stuck with me.'
'Fine.' Malcolm replied, resigned to another odd mental discussion. 'Let's get this over with.'
'I thought you would come around.' The voice said, sounding triumphant. 'So, why do you think that other side of yourself thinks this is so wrong?'
'I don't know,' Malcolm said, 'I have been trying to figure that out. I suppose it is just my own human instincts I guess.'
'Nope.' the voice said. 'That isn't it, and you know it.'
'Then maybe it is all I was taught growing up.' Malcolm continued, feeling more and more on edge by the moment.
'Oh come on, now you are just being silly.' The voice said reprovingly. 'You got over that a long time ago.'
'Then why is it, if you are so smart?' Malcolm asked, already exasperated.
'Well, let's look at the facts, shall we?' The voice began, 'When did you first feel that it was wrong to feel this way towards Turquoise?'
'I guess it was...' Malcolm said, and then paused, the rest of the thought halted on the tip of his mental tongue. He had been about to say that it was when he had comforted her in her nest, but all of a sudden he wasn't so sure. Then, it came to him, the true start to his feelings. 'After I first found out about Karen and Twilight I guess.'
'Give the man a prize.' The voice quipped. 'There is hope for you yet. If you first started feeling it back then...' 'Then...' Malcolm continued, feeling a realization dawn on him. 'I started feeling it after Karen turned me down.'
'And therefore?' the voice asked, its tone one of someone leading a child to the answer of a simple logic problem. Setting aside the voice's rudeness, Malcolm ran it through his mind and all at once, a thought occurred to him, a thought that hit with all the force of a bomb.
'I feel like I am betraying Karen...' Malcolm said, surprised at the thought, but at the same time, knowing it held the voice of truth. 'I still have feelings for her.'
'Bingo.' The voice said. 'Now, to finish it.'
'I still care for Karen,' Malcolm began, the icy sensation of uncertainty blossoming in his chest, 'But, I know she can't be with me, and...' He paused once again, his mind whirling.
'And..?' The voice inquired.
'Am I comparing Turquoise to her?' Malcolm suddenly asked, the sensation of frost in his chest intensifying. 'Am I really that shallow?'
'Is that a question you really want an answer to?' The voice replied after a moment's pause. 'Think about it some more before you ask stuff like that.'
Malcolm ignored the snide voice for the moment, already thinking it over. Ever since they had been in their teens, Malcolm had considered Karen to be the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She had seemed to be perfect for him, so perfect that he had nursed a roaring flame for her for many years, finally working up his courage to pursue her after they graduated. And yet, hadn't he always thought of Turquoise to be pretty? Even before it entered his head that he might be capable of being attracted to her, he had thought that the dragoness was beautiful, more so than just about every other female dragon he had seen. There had always been something about her that had made her special to him, not so much attractive, but special. Then, trying to see things from the perspective of his subconscious, he dragged up the image of Karen into his mind's eye, trying to bring up everything that had attracted him to her. She was beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful human he had ever seen, shapely and stunning, kind and intelligent and...unobtainable. All his life, he had known it somehow, and yet, he had ignored the idea until at last, he had found himself the loser in a race he had never actually entered. And, as he thought that last thought, the image of the knight was replaced by another image, coming unbidden into his mind.
All at once, he saw Turquoise, the dragoness suddenly illuminated in a light he had never before seen her in. For the first time, he understood. No human, no matter how beautiful, could come close to the otherworldly beauty of Turquoise. There was no other way to describe it. She was beautiful in a way that no human could possess, not even one who wielded magic; a beauty that extended farther than just her outward appearance. And more, she was smart and so kind that she had suffered in secret for months rather than risk offending him. Gradually, as the moments crawled by, and he listed the things that attracted him to his dragon, the voice that resisted romantic ties with her faded. And then, suddenly, the ice that had seemed to form inside him melted away, uncertainty replaced with complete surety.
"I want Turquoise." Malcolm whispered to himself, the words somehow feeling like a confession of a great secret.
'And...?' The voice prompted.
'And, nothing.' Malcolm said with finality, a weight lifting from his heart as he said it. 'There is nothing more than that. I love her, not Karen. It's not even a choice. I want to be with Turquoise.'
'Sooooo..?' The voice said, already fading into the ether of his mind.
Even as the annoying voice faded, Malcolm reached out across the link he shared with Turquoise, forcing it to widen, casting out to her mind with his own. When he touched her consciousness, he felt the memory of the wound he had dealt her with his uncertainty, a painful cold stretching across the link to his mind. But so eager was his touch, so warm and certain that he felt the coolness fade quickly, replaced by curiosity, though the memory of the wound was still there. When he felt her mind warm to him, Malcolm spoke across the link at last.
'Turquoise, I need to tell you something, in person.' He said, his mind imbuing the thought with indescribable warmth. 'Can you come meet me?'
'I will be there soon.' She replied, sounding surprised and he sensed her turn back towards the mountain they now called home. The young knight stayed linked to her as closely as he could as she winged back towards him, something that took only a few minutes, despite the distance between them. When at last he saw her silhouette against the sky, blue-green on lighter blue, he hurried to the nearest clearing and was waiting when she furiously back-flapped and at last settled to the grass of the clearing. A deer was clutched in her claws, wrapped in a spell that would keep it from decay or spoiling while she was out and about. Seeing the eager look on his face the blue-green dragoness transformed back into her hybrid form, setting her kill aside, her head cocked while she stared at him, trying to divine his intent.
"What's up?" She asked, walking slowly towards him, seeming to be on guard. Malcolm's answer was quick and to the point, hurrying forward and trapping her in a close hug, kissing her hard. At first, Turquoise was so surprised that she couldn't even summon the will necessary to return his hug, much less his kiss. But, as he kept up the kiss, his heart hammering in his chest, the dragon's eyes closed and she embraced him just as closely, returning the kiss with just as much passion. Turquoise was about to pull back and ask him about his sudden reversal, when she suddenly felt the human's tongue pressing against her lips and she opened her mouth a little, surprised. And without hesitation, she felt his tongue slip into her mouth, exploring her and she quickly reciprocated, flicking her long dragon tongue out, twining it with his, his taste filling her even as his scent filled every breath. When they finally broke the extended kiss, they pulled back and Malcolm finally spoke.
"Turquoise, I need to tell you," He began, breathless, "how sorry I am about what I did earlier. I was...confused. But not anymore. I know what I want now."
"And that is?" The dragoness asked, challenge in her voice, staring hopefully into her knight's eyes.
"You." He replied, kissing the tip of her snout gently. "I want to be with you. Most of all, I want to make up for the mistake I made last night."
"I am sure we can find a way." Turquoise answered, smiling slyly, tightening her embrace once more...