FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"I mean, it's a bit of a tough ask, 'innit?" The blue kobold said, lost in thought. He rubbed a lip between his scaled fingers, the years of proximity to his owner had rubbed out most of his old English accent but when deep in thought it would occasionally slip out.

"Look, Dakota just." Laguna sighed, "Just, tell me what it was like."

Dakota hated recalling those years he had spent after his mind was broken in the facility, he couldn't help but wonder in idly curiosity, how was the wolf done in?

_ _

_ _ He clamped his teeth down on the scaled skin of his knuckle and gently rolled it back and forth. Damn why am I getting so anxious?

_ _

He took his hand from his mouth and stuffed it into the pocket of the oversized hoodie he was wearing, he inhaled.

"Sir, it's a complete loss of self. There's still a 'personality' in there, but it's nothing more than the complete and utter desire to be put to use for literally anything. You could order someone who is processed to stop breathing and they wouldn't even hesitate."

"Yes. I know all of that, but you pulled yourself back together, eventually... Could he?"

Dakota flinched, recalling the decade of carefully piecing together bits and pieces of a shattered psyche of someone who used to be named Clive. He didn't even know if he was the same Clive as the Clive he re-built, that's why he preferred to stick to his new name, Dakota. It felt right.

"I mean the background is similar enough, I only wonder... if he was running solo did he ever get any kind of formal training."

Dakota hated so called lone wolf 'super spies', no matter how good they claimed to be, they always ended up like the wolf he was looking at through the monitor... Or dead, usually dead. W_hy did they always have to be dead?_

"Kids, the lot of 'em..." He muttered, shifting on his feet. It was easy justifying his old job of being a government agent, now a personal attendant of someone he owed more than his life to. He just didn't understand these kids throwing themselves on the sword for the sheer thrill of it. Being a spy sucked, always on guard, never trusting anyone around you. Dakota swallowed hard.

"Sir m-may I? Speak to him?"

...

The door of the elevator opened, Splicer stepped out to an odd sight, two beanbag chairs were sitting on the floor of a colourful room with light blue walls. Sitting in one of the chairs, nearly being swallowed by it was a sapphire blue kobold the wolf didn't know. They were wearing a hoodie and sweatpants though, so that must mean the small reptile was above him, he waited for orders.

"Please, sit." The kobold motioned to the un-occupied beanbag chair.

Laguna almost hoped the confusion of the wolf's surroundings would somehow wake him up, Dakota had always had a preference to keeping things soft, to put it lightly. Probably not helped by the home life the badger had provided for the kobold, but he knew Dakota needed to be as comfortable as possible for this meeting, so he made sure everything was in order.

"Thank you, sir." Splicer said in his usual empty cadence, he wasn't sure why anyone would be polite towards product, seemed like wasted words.

"You know," Dakota pulled out a cup with a sippy cup lid attached to it from behind his seat, taking a long drink. "I've always wanted to talk to you, you reputation proceeds you honestly. Never thought it would be like this..."

"Oh Dakota..." Laguna muttered to himself putting a hand over his eyes and pulling on the skin that bridged them. "Where did you even?"

"My, reputation?" Splicer asked, confused? "I'm sorry sir, product doesn't have reputation, we just serve."

"Please don't call me sir." Dakota winced; likely he was many years the wolf's senior, but he hated when people referred to him as such.

"Whatever you wish."

Dakota wasn't ready for this, the wolf's hollow eyes and general emptiness was like looking at a reflection of himself all those years ago. On second thought, maybe this one was better off if he had died... The thought reminded Dakota of something he recalled from numerous reports.

"You know, we thought we killed you dozens of times over... How many skeletons of yourself do you keep in your closet exactly?"

Humour was lost on the wolf, but maybe trying to push and prod in a joking manner on the wolf's past would unlock something, anything, a twitch even.

"My, closet? All that's in there is a dildo. Would you like me to retrieve it for you?"

"No, no... That's, quite alright. Tell me, how old are you?"

"How, old am I?" Splicer paused, "I-I don't remember..."

Was that a hint of unease in his voice? Dakota pressed.

"What do you remember then, what was your first memory?"

"A white room... and... that otter." Splicer knew there was a time before that room, but he also knew the time before the room wasn't important. He was given everything he needed to know on how to be a good product by the otter. That was enough for the wolf. Dakota lost that moment, if it was ever there in the first place.

Dakota called back to his time training as Clive, where he was subjected to a month-long sensory deprivation nightmare. The whole time he was fed the information the psychological evaluation he went through deemed important to ingrain his 'back-up personality' deep into his mind. If he never went through that it probably would have been impossible to recover from his processing. He couldn't imagine anyone doing that of their own volition so there was no way the wolf had something like a back up of himself in there. If what the wolf said was true as well and Joseph personally processed him, it was unlikely even that could survive.

"What do you think of yourself?"

"Nothing."

"What do you think of the idea of having a personality?"

"Product doesn't need personality."

"What if your owner wanted one?"

"I would take on whatever façade they ordered."

Checks out, He hated to let Laguna down, but he was really starting to doubt the wolf could be saved. Best option would be to have the wolf pretend not to be broken but deep down nothing would change, the wolf would remain as hollow as he currently was, just painted over with a false expression.

"Laguna, you may as well just sell him off... This one's gone" Dakota said to the wolf's face, knowing he wouldn't care. Product was meant to be sold after all.

"I'd like to give it just a little more time, remember how long you took?" Laguna's voice filled the room.

"Yes..." The comment stung but Dakota knew it was true. "It's just my opinion sir."

"Am I not doing a good enough job? I-I can do better... please let me do better." Splicer stammered out. He was fine with the idea of being sold, but he wanted to satisfy his current owner.

"What was that?" Dakota asked. He knew better than any other fur, when two are speaking, product is silent. Despite the words and intention, the reaction was out of place.

"Sorry, please forgive me." Splicer said behind his empty eyes, expecting to be hit for speaking out of turn.

"Why are you, smiling?" He asked confused by the kobold's reaction. He made a mistake, why would that make someone happy?

"I... I have an idea." The grinning kobold said between his pointed teeth.

...

"That's your idea?" Laguna was intrigued, but incredulous. He knew there was reason behind the Kobold's theory but wasn't entirely sure how it would work. But he trusted Dakota, they was the one who really recovered their own mind, Laguna had only offered whatever support he could. If Dakota really thought it could work, the badger was willing to give him all the time he needed. The plan was to break the broken wolf until the cycle went full circle. The kobold knew exactly the way to make a product's life hell.

"WAKE UP~"

The wolf roused to the shrill voice and pounding of the kobold's hands against his crates' bars. He wasn't startled, if anything, the excitement in the kobold's voice must mean something important had to be done today. He quickly got out of his cage and waited to hear what the kobold had to say.

"We're going to be adjusting your daily routine! Don't worry, you're going to love it~" The kobold explained pushing the wolf onto the elevator and began to explain. "Consider me, your personal trainer!"

The tow came out into the lobby, the wolf had some granola bars and a bottle of water pushed into his paws before the kobold pushed him out the front door and locked it behind the wolf, who turned around confused.

"What are my orders?" Splicer asked the devilish kobold who was bouncing up and down behind the doors.

"Nothing!" The kobold walked off, giggling to themselves, this would be the perfect start.

"Nothing? I thought there would be something..." The wolf wasn't exactly a fan of sitting by idly doing nothing, when he could be put to work like a proper tool. But if those were his orders.

He wished he could at least do nothing inside the building, being put outside made him feel wrong, at least when he did nothing in his room, he felt like he was in his proper place. Outside make him feel an uncomfortable sense of un-ownership, alone. The wolf sat down and laid the food and water in front of him. He wasn't told what to do with the food or water either, so he just did what he was told to do, nothing.

...

Night fell, the wolf did nothing, no command to sleep came, the wolf did nothing.

...

Morning came, the wolf did nothing, Splicer's mouth was dry, he felt hunger gnawing.

...

Night came, the wolf did nothing, he looked at the water and granola bars he was given. He wasn't told they were for him, and they were non-perishable, so he couldn't justify eating them after they had already gone bad. No command to sleep came, the wolf did nothing.

...

The next morning Dokota stood over Splicer's unconscious body; the wolf had passed out from dehydration.

"Well shit..." Dakota sighed, "This is gonna take longer than expected."

He popped the cap to the bottle and gently gave the wolf water, before putting the granola bar into his mouth and working his jaw, making sure he wouldn't choke on it. He dragged the body into the building...

"WAKE UP~"

The wolf's eyes shot open.

Dakota kept begging Laguna for more time, assuring him it would work. It wasn't until the twentieth cycle it finally changed. Splicer had been eyeing the water bottle and granola bars on the second night straight of being awake without eating or drinking. He ran his tongue across the roof of his mouth, trying to elicit some saliva but that well had run dry hours ago. He grabbed the water bottle and opened it, taking long drinks, the liquid soothing his dry tongue. He swallowed large gulps until the bottle ran dry, a tear ran down his cheek as a trembling paw reached out for one of the bars.

"I-I can't..." The wolf's body betrayed him as he tore open the wrapping and stuffed the chocolate coated bar into his mouth whole. His stomach was satisfied but he was mortified, he did something when he was ordered to do nothing.

The wolf was chewing the second one down when he heard a lock clicking behind him, his ears flattened as he swallowed the evidence.

"Enjoy your snack?" Dakota's nonchalant voice said behind him.

"I'm sorry..." The wolf didn't understand, why wasn't he being reprimanded?

The first tumbler had fallen into place. Dakota led him back to his room and left him there without another word, the wolf stared at the marks on his table.

What's going on, why wasn't I punished? The wolf's mind raced and agonized over that question until a familiar order appeared in his vision.

Sleep.

"WAKE UP~"

Splicer gulped. He was waiting for the kobold's orders. Dakota smiled.

They came off the elevator into a pool area, Splicer had to wonder, why hadn't he been sent to clean more of these areas, he wanted to make sure the whole facility was spotless, even with only his own bare paws.

"Get in..." Dakota ordered.

"Right away." Splicer didn't need to be told twice, he jumped into the pool and began treading water, looking at the kobold. He really wasn't a fan of the feeling of a wet collar digging into his fur.

"Sit at the bottom of the pool..." The kobold's face was a mask of indifference, but inside he really wasn't sure if he could subject the wolf to what they were about to go though.

Splicer took a deep breath and then exhaled just enough until he gently floated to the bottom of the pool. Sitting cross legged at the bottom, looking up at the kobold.

"This is for you own good..." He read the kobold's lips through the shimmering surface of the pool. It clicked in his mind, this was his punishment for last night! The wolf found an odd sense of peace from the thought, if those were his orders, he'd follow them, even as his vision faded and he let the water enter his lungs, the kobold became a pinprick in his vision as it all went black.

The wolf's eyes opened, he was staring at the harsh lights above, floating on the surface of the pool. The nanites in the wolf's body worked as gills, as soon as his body shut down from lack of oxygen, they'd kick in, resuscitating him.

"Again..." Dakota was breathing hard, the only thing keeping him from pulling out was the faint hope he had in the belief what he was doing would really help the wolf.

...

Splicer sat at the bottom of the pool, something about this exercise seemed familiar.

Have I? Done this before? I mean, before the... The thought was washed from his mind as he blacked out again.

Splicer sat at the bottom of the pool, this seemed excessive for that water and granola bar.

NO! These are you orders! The wolf would slap himself if he wasn't underwater, he faded again.

Dakota had stopped counting, how many times he had forced the wolf to drown over and over again, he couldn't bear to keep track...

Splicer hadn't, the light faded from his eyes for the sixty seventh time...

Splicer sat at the bottom of the pool, he swore heard a voice in the water, whispering to him. It was begging him to fight, was that his own voice? His vision was fading fast but he held onto that distant memory of of the raw emotions that seemed to spin around him in the pool. Product shouldn't have emotions, those couldn't be his. His vision faded, but instead of the darkness he expected, he saw a movie playing out on the floor of the pool. He squinted.

A wolf that looked exactly like himself was visibly beaten and hogtied, rough hands tossed him into a pool before walking off. The wolf sunk to the bottom. He saw the light fading from the wolf's eyes just like it had so many times himself, but instead of accepting it his eyes widened as he fiddled with the rope that had him tied up. Why did the wolf fight? He could just let go, couldn't he? The rope eventually came undone, the wolf kicked to the surface, coughing and sputtering, Splicer felt jealous, why could that wolf do what he couldn't?

His vision darkened.

I-I don't want to die here!

_ _

The wolf's eyes shot open, he wasn't sure where the thought came from, but energy flooded his body all the same. He planted he feet on the bottom of the pool and pushed hard, breaching the surface, hacking up water gripping weakly onto the side of the pool.

"I'm s-sorry" The wolf sputtered.

"That's fine, time to get out of the pool anyways."

The wolf climbed out of the pool, a towel was thrown against his body, he took that as a sign to dry off. He wondered why the kobold was crying.

He was sitting in front of the table in his room.

Do I really not want to die? What if I was ordered to though? Products always obey orders after all... Splicer mused on the conundrum, his disobedience must have been a fluke.

Sleep.

"WAKE UP~"

Splicer audibly groaned as he stirred awake, he was beginning to loathe the orders given to him by the kobold, was this some kind of prank by his owner? Or perhaps even a test? If it was a test he must be failing, two times in a row he's disobeyed direct orders after all.

"Hopefully this will be your last exercise." The kobold explained to the wolf, they had moved into a mock classroom setting and the kobold was wearing glasses and holding a pointing stick.

"What are your orders?" Splicer asked, a slight hint of disdain hiding in his monotone voice.

"Before you were processed you used to love scratching things, I was told you made a scratch mark before you went to sleep, like clockwork. I figure if you like to scratch so much. I'd let you do that again. So that's why we're here."

The kobold drew a finger down the blackboard causing a long ringing screech to assault the wolf's sensitive ears.

"You're going to scratch a new tally for every day you've been at this facility, two hundred and forty-five in total. Every time you add a new mark, I want you to say the phrase: My name is Splicer, I came to this facility two hundred and forty-five days ago."

That long? It hadn't been that many before the white room, he was here before that?

Splicer dreaded what he was about to do, he approached the black board and brought a single claw to it. The screech was worse when he was standing right next to it, it made a violent shiver run down the wolf's spine.

"M-my name is Splicer, I came to this facility t-two hundred and forty-five days ago."

Splicer braced himself as he brought a claw to the black board.

Again! He steeled his mind.

...

Splicer sat in front of the marked table.

If I really did make all those marks, I deserve all this, of course I do! There has to be a reason... Splicer's mind was in turmoil.

...

"My name is Splicer, I came to this facility two hundred and forty-eight days ago..." His voice was monotone. He got to his room that night and sat in silence.

...

"My name is Splicer, I came to this facility two hundred and eighty-seven days ago..." His voice quivered, every day was this same assault to his ears, the shrill screeching echoing in his head hours after he had finished for the day. Surely there was a reason for this. He spent his nights in his room begging to be given any other task, sobbing and pleading with the camera. He was product but surely, he could be put to better use somewhere else, anywhere else.

...

"My name is Splicer, I came to this facility three hundred and six days ago." He had stopped pleading at this point for any other. He just spent the night pacing back and forth in his room until it was time to sleep, he felt claws ripping away at his brain, like the multitude of chalkboards he had ruined. Every morning he prayed that the chalkboard would be filled with the scratch marks of the previous day, unable to fit anymore. But each morning he saw a fresh pristine black board ready to be destroyed by his claws.

...

"My name is Splicer, I came to this facility three hundred and ten days ago." Splicer's voice dripped with sadness, he sat motionless in front of his table that night.

"He's regressing..." Laguna said prepared to call off the whole thing, at this point he was willing to look at prospective buyers for a well broken in wolf. But then, with a demented smile, Splicer raised a paw and drew a claw down the table, the deepest scratch yet.

Splicer remembered something.

...

"My name is Splicer, I came to this facility three hundred and eighteen days ago." Splicer was angry, the mixture of screeching and clawing on his mind brought visions of a wolf that looked exactly like him, a wolf that wasn't product, that had thoughts and feelings of his own. He sat at his table fuming that night, counted each and every scratch mark he had previously made. He added more and counted them all out, three hundred and nineteen.

"WAKE UP~"

Splicer jumped up and started growling, the daily process and strain of the last few months had nearly turned him feral. Dakota wouldn't even enter the room anymore, preferring to just call him awake from the loudspeaker in his room. The wolf entered the elevator and waited for the sight of another chalkboard.

He was greeted with the lobby instead, a mistake? He wasn't going to wait around to find out, he jumped out of the elevator before the doors had a chance to close and pulled and pounded on the front doors. He had to get out he had to escape, but the front wasn't budging. He dashed for the back and shoulder checked them open, tumbling out into the open air, until he was laying on his back staring at the sunlight. He took a long deep breath, how long had it been since he was outside? His job wasn't done, he still had to escape, he got to his knees and finally looked out to the area in front of him.

He saw row upon row of the blue flowers he had so mechanically planted, they were important. The clawing that had been tearing at his mind stopped as it finally opened, there wasn't something trying to break in, there was something inside trying to break out. Everything came flooding back to the overwhelmed wolf as he stared at the flowers of his homeland. Every thought and memory he had cut out were etched back into his own head by the sheer will of his own claws. Splicer looked at the sky, tears streaming down his face as he wept over the memories of a life he thought he lost. He let out long piercing cries of agony as every moment he had ever lived was relived in an instant in his mind. He crawled over the closest flower bed he could and pet the first blue welter he saw. Gently plucking it from the ground, he held it close to his chest letting the pressure he applied stabilize his breathing. He curled into a ball clutching his knees, he was exhausted despite just waking up.

For the first time since Joseph put him to rest, Splicer the wolf slept.