FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Cecilia had just enough clothes to cover herself as she headed towards the door. "Don't worry, I'm not dumb enough to return here."

While she was gripping the doorknob, she did nothing to open it. I half-expected her to scream, grow furious in an outburst at the poor situation, but when she turned to face us in front of that door, she seemed genuine for once. With each passing second, she seemed more frantic as she seemed realized that going through that door she'd leave all of this and never get it back.

At that moment, I think Victoria wanted more than anything for him to fight for her. I think she wanted this to mean something, anything. This lingering hope that perhaps Damian felt something for her along the way, something worth fighting for, died in real-time.

"I guess this is goodbye, Damian," she said.

"I'll see to it that your reputation remains protected."

She smiled weakly at me and strained for something to say to me after all of this. "Stay safe, sweetie."

"Yeah... You too."

She opened the door only to lay eyes on the fuming pantheress behind it. Victoria didn't budge, forcing her to squeeze by. Her only goodbye to Cecilia, was a dirty look that followed her all the way down the hall, until, finally, she lost sight of her.

Victoria doubling checked she locked the door behind her as she walked in.

Damian had his speech ready. "Victor-"

"Don't Victoria me, Damian. You fucked up. You fucked up bad. I'm just one more, just one more, damned lie away from marching up to our mother and ending this whole act you two have been putting on."

Damian just stood there, slack-jawed.

"Tell me, why did you do all of this? Is he blackmailing you? Is this to gather mother's attention? Di-"

"I'm not marrying her."

"Who?" She crinkled her nose. "Oh please, oh please, oh Lord, don't tell me this wasn't just for that damn tigress. You couldn't be that stupid, Brother. Surely there has to be more."

I took a step backward wishing suddenly I'd left with Cecilia.

Victoria tried to settle herself sighing deeply and averting her gaze to the ceiling as she seemed to sense Damian had nothing to say. Awaiting her next words, it felt like an eternity passed before her frustration dissipated into a thick feeling spread across her face. A feeling that managed to be far worse: disappointment.

"Why do I always have to get dragged into your messes?" She couldn't look at him. "Every time you get sick of your life and your duties, it becomes my problem, my responsibility to pick up the pieces of my dear older brother."

He gave her nothing more than the satisfaction of how much that hurt him to hear.

"Milo, where do you sit on all of this?"

The question slapped against my wrists and there wasn't an easy answer. "I-I truly was just a servant at that eatery..." I started. "Maybe, I was just at the wrong place, wrong time."

Her face turned cold, but she didn't press me further. "I was really happy for you two... I swore I saw something. Something that I looked for in my own life. Guess that was all part of the lie."

Victoria stood up and Damian reached out to grab her with his paw but stopped it right before it reached her.

"We're just holding out till we can show ourselves at the ball," he said. "After that, you knowing about any of this won't matter. It's all just temporary."

"I know of your scheming nature, brother, but how dare you do this to our mother? That wound doesn't heal; it'll only scar forever. Just to keep your own life how you want it, you'd really shove a dagger where she's weakest? Her of all people?"

"Victoria, I've gone too far to quit."

"I don't care at all. Whatever this is, I want it to stop at once. If not now, then just do it before the ball. I don't want mother to dream in false hope. I'll tell her if I have to."

"I never meant for this to leave that dinner."

"But it did--" She approached the door. "Don't go asking for any more favors from me. I also never want to see that whore you just laid within this house, so help me god."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Our guests will be showing up shortly for brunch. You're on your own for keeping up this appearance. I'd sooner take up shoveling manure than encourage this lie."

She slipped through the door and gave one last opportunity for Damian to speak up. An opportunity that was easily missed by him as he let the door slam shut.

It didn't take long before Damian lost any composure he had left. I saw all of it bubbling and overflowing out of him. His sister had been right. Everything she said was right about him. The best I managed was just sitting next to him on the edge of his bed.

"Milo, I think you should leave."

"I can... wait outside. Just tell me when you need me."

He didn't even muster a glance at me. "You know what I meant."

"I wish I didn't."

The room turned cold and quiet as our performance came to a close.

"I'll still give you a small sum of coin just to be a gentleman. It should last you a good couple of months. Since we didn't make it all the way to the ball, I still can't justify giving you the full amount."

"To hell with the money! What of the Queen taking my head when she finds out I helped aid in a lie of this size. What of my old job never taking me back? After all of what happened, especially with the King, I don't think she'd hesitate in-"

"Enough of that." He clenched onto the sheets of the bed.

We ran a silence. A long silence that gained momentum and suddenly felt unbeatable, unbearable. My vein throbbed on my forehead thinking of it all. Why couldn't he be the one to speak up? It's all his problem anyway.

The longer time ran without a word from him, the more it felt like apathy. The more it felt like I was suddenly just an issue to him. "Damian, you'd be awful to leave me for dead when the going gets rough."

That caused his whole face to scrunch up. "Does it look like I don't already know that?" He stopped as if to prevent himself from saying something he shouldn't. "Milo, I just need a second. I just got bitched at by my own sister and I just don't want to get bitched at by you too."

I had to really still myself to swallow down him calling my concerns 'bitching him out'. If my fate wasn't in his paws, I'd be less patient.

"Okay, okay." He turned to me. "If I threw you out with some money right now, I think our problems only really multiply."

"Agreed."

"So, what I'm going to do is just talk it out with her. Victoria can be rough, but she's not one to throw daggers unnecessarily. If I can just explain to her how this isn't what it looks like-"

"It is exactly what it looked like."

He seemed to struggle to not react to that. "I'll just talk to her. Work some magic. She has nothing but a sight to see and my mother sadly has her own sight she has seen in contrast to that."

"Couldn't forget about that." I kept my eyes to the floor as the silence followed on his end as well. We both sat on the edge of the bed and it was obvious just by the way he clenched the sheets that he had more to say.

"Milo?"

"I'm still right here."

He noticed this yet still wilted. "You really feel like you were at the wrong place wrong time back at the Eatery?"

The question felt loaded. Briefly, I caught a flash of his emerald eyes begging the question to which I struggled to find the answer. "I, uh... no."

"Well, that's great to hear..." He lightly scratched at the back of his neck as the ends of his maw twitched fighting a forming grin.

I looked forwards, face growing warm. Oh no, please don't tell me.

Scotching closer to him on the edge of the bed, I clasped my knees. "Hey, so-"

Damian's paw came around my side with his fingers curling lightly around my side, his big warm palm felt good as it held me. It made me feel like I belonged. The motion was familiar but this time nobody was watching.

"What is it?" He raised an eyebrow with that half-smirk he always loved putting on.

I felt my heart beating. His demeanor was so open and welcoming to me all of a sudden. My body shifted, reacting to his touch, his warmth, as I leaned into him. Damian's energy ignited a fire within me as his breathing sounded deep and loud. His chest moved mountains as he inhaled and exhaled and not a bit of him seem concerned about how long it took for me to respond to him.

Small beads of sweat formed to my fingertips as I found I hadn't been breathing. As I leaned my head against his shoulder, I let out a small exhale and felt his strong arm hold me close. "We'll be okay, Milo. This is my family we're dealing with. If I can't talk things out with them, then I have bigger problems than a lover."

His face was gentle and kind, a far cry from what it had been minutes ago. Up close, I noticed details I hadn't thought about before. How his nose bulged out in a neat curve and how his lips were rather thick and slightly wet.

I arched my maw upwards, breathing out from the corners of it. "You're the best bet we got."

He scotched closer to me, looking down at me as I clung onto his side. Though he looked so calm, his heartbeat said otherwise.

I lightly ran my tongue across my maw as his lay open.

"Whatever kinds of Gods did we piss off to get into this mess?"

He arched his head gently and used a finger to lift my maw to be close to his. My body trembled as I grasped him tightly. Our warm breaths mixed in with one another and suddenly I felt an intensity for him within my chest. This was something of a dream, but, as I felt his warm breath, I realized he was right there in front of me. I didn't move my maw an inch, but my lips remained weak in expectation of the action I couldn't bring myself to quite do. His eyes rested on mine and it was then I knew.

I wanted him.

His eyes widened suddenly as if he heard my thoughts. I closed my eyes, gently pursing out my lips and hardly able to control myself. This felt right. This felt real. I couldn't continue hiding this anymore. I wanted him to share in a kiss with me. To feel his lips upon mine for the first time. I wanted to give myself to him.

"Oh, er, well we ought to get over downstairs for brunch." Damian pulled his maw away from mine.

We split from one another as if nothing had ever happened, but the full heat of my face and entranced gaze said otherwise. "B-but of course. That's why Victoria interrupted us, or you and Cecilia I should say."

He stood up off the bed and looked away, only showing part of the childish grin on his face. Within our departure, I felt the one defense I had left come down to him.

My mind was in at least seventeen different places at once. Pretending to like Damian was an easy act, almost second nature to me at this point. Hold paws entering a room. Whenever he looks my way in any setting, I'd get the choice to act like I was either gazing longingly to my lover or that I was suddenly having trouble containing myself, drawing a slow smile I pretended to fight over a, counted, three-second window.

My favorite was when the game got tired and old and when the situation proved boring to either one of us. It was then we'd begin a new game of challenging and daring one another to react to something new, something fresh to the table. Whether it be something almost inappropriately flirty or a kiss blown across the table, we'd both be locked in our battle to see who could stump the other.

Here now though, my paw dangled, wandering back and forth near his own. My fingers remained stiff and straight as walked down the stairs together. I thought of breaking routine, of taking his paw into my own before we had others to watch the act.

I didn't know if I could pretend any longer. I didn't know how to just pretend I wanted him. Just pretend I wanted him to kiss me in private and hold me in his arms. It was all real now and more than ever I wanted to talk to him.

As we neared the end of the staircase, I looked at him for a moment and pleaded for him to say a word. To know he had my back in all of this still and to make sense of this whole situation, but he kept looking forwards to the bottom of the staircase.

Although, suddenly, I felt my lips curl with the delicate tracing of his fingers trailing across my paw. The familiar warmth caused my heart to race as his fingers wrapped and found their way to interlock into my own.

He leaned in for a whisper, "Milo, we must take extra care in our appearance from here on out. Victoria and my mother will be watching."

I tugged on the cuff of his sleeve. "What was that back there? In the room?"

Except he didn't look back at me. "I really don't know."

I faltered to follow him. His words pressed in as I pleaded for anything from him. For just a moment, he turned his head back and looked to me like I had stabbed him, so hurt and so betrayed, but that betrayal grew to warmth all over him. "We'll have to just talk after."

His thumb caressed my pointer finger and it eased my nerves slightly.

As we entered the dining room, however, I felt a tense jolt laying eyes on Victoria. I knew Damian had a way of talking through things, but I feared her distaste might gain too much momentum landing us somewhere abysmal for both of us.

Now wasn't the time to despair though. Now was the time when appearances mattered most and I'd play my role perfectly. I clenched his paw and longingly gazed at Damian, an act that started off fake and then became a bit more genuine than I'd like.

"It's so great for you two love birds to finally grace us with your presence. Milo, I hope this will be to your liking."

Peering across the room to avoid Victoria, I instead found two familiar faces coming towards me and I made my way immediately over to them, embracing my Aunt and Uncle.