Growing Up Gay in High School - Book 1: Freshman Year - Chapter 9
Greetings everyone! I know, been awhile. However, the summer has finally rolled around and I can now officially continue my stories. I look forward to continue to writing them and I hope you guys look forward to continue reading them. Enjoy! :)
Chapter 9
I froze in my chair, just staring at the yellow cup-like object suspended in the air. I didn't know what to do. Well, I knew what to do, because God knows how many times I've watched those instructional videos. I just didn't know what to do at that second.
I looked around, people were freaking out. I noticed some people already had put the mask on and remained calm. Wow, I give them credit because ain't going to lie, I began to freak out a little bit myself. Colin must have noticed it. Of course.
"Calm down. Put the mask on." he said as he began to put his on.
I fixed my attention back to the yellow object and put it on my face. At the point, the intercom came on and the pilot began to speak:
"Attention. As you may have noticed, the masks have dropped. We are experiencing difficulties. Luckily, we are close enough to our destination to make an emergency landing and get you off as soon as possible. Please stay calm. Flight attendants, prepare for landing."
After that the room was filled with sighs of relief coming from all the passengers, including myself and Colin. I peeked down the aisle and saw Colin's dad staring back at me. He gave me that, "Are you O.K?" face. I simply nodded to him, and he returned his attention to the front of the plane.
I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes. I began to think about everything about me. My brother, my parents, Colin. What if I do not make it? I didn't even get the chance to tell my parents about me. And Roy. I might not see him graduate middle school. I haven't even seen him get his first girlfriend yet. Or boyfriend? He never did show an interest in either side so I'm still waiting to see how that plays out. Is this too much thinking for just a high school freshman?
THUNK. The plane landed and I bounced a little bit. Who am I kidding, actually a lotta bit. Felt I got a little whip lash there. The plane came to that screeching halt and sure enough, eventually came to a stop and we were safe. We immediately got off. We did not even bother pulling up to a gate. We got on a bus and headed towards the airport.
When we walked in, the first thought that came across my mind was what was going to happen to our luggage. We were going to be able to receive it? Sure enough, a lady working at one of the counter yelled to everyone to proceed to baggage claim number five to be able to get our things.
We got our luggage and slowly made our way to the exit and finally make this trip come to a close.
The taxi we took dropped me off at my house. The driver came out and helped me with my suit case. Not like I really needed it, but it didn't hurt me either. I offered Colin's parents to help pay for the cab fare but they wouldn't have it. I tried to insist but they refused. I sighed and waved goodbye and managed to sneak a wink to Colin.
"I'll text you later." I said, grabbing my suitcase and pulling the handle up.
He nodded and I turned and started heading inside. Before I pushed the doorbell the door swung open and I was swept by my mom.
"Oh honey! I missed you so much! I'm so glad to see you back!" she screamed.
I smiled as she put me down and saw my dad standing a little behind her.
"Good to have you back, son." he said, smiling.
I walked up and gave him a hug. My mom took my suitcase and headed upstairs.
"I'm going to put this on your bed and come back down and I expect to hear all about your trip!" she said as she disappeared into the hallway.
I took a seat on the couch and sighed in relief. As much as I enjoyed the trip, it was such a relief to be able to say that I am home. My dad took a seat on his usual chair and turned down the T.V and smiled at me.
"So where there a lot of hot chicks on the beaches?" he said, trying to get me to be interested in the subject, even though I really wasn't.
"Yea dad, actually there was. I even tried to hit on one." I said, lying through my teeth but hoping he wouldn't catch me.
"No you didn't." he said, smiling.
"Yea, I did!" I replied quickly.
My mom started to back down the stairs.
"That's my boy." he said, in a very proud tone. I sighed. The day will eventually come, and it's not going to be good.
My mom took a seat.
"Alright, spill. Don't leave out a single detail." she said.
"That's what you think." I thought to myself immediately. I told about the trip, including what happened on New Years. They freaked out a little bit and pondered rather or not I should go to a doctor. I told them I'm fine and I was fine the rest of the trip home. The story about the plane really didn't settle well either. I reassured them and told them I'm home in one piece so they have nothing to worry about. And I managed to get my stuff. They sat back a little bit, and I knew that was the sign that they knew that I was right.
I continued on about my trip well throughout dinner as well. Roy had joined us. It totally did not dawn on me that he wasn't with when I told my initial story. Some brother I am. After dinner we went our separate ways, as we usually did, but this time I decided to take a visit to Roy's room. Just to see how's he doing. We haven't had a good talk in awhile.
"Hey little bro." I said, taking a seat on his bed.
He was hitting up some video games, I decided to not join in because I could tell that he was playing online and signing in as guest wouldn't help. Plus the T.V is way too small to play split screen.
"Hey Ty, what's up?" he asked.
"Nothing much, just decided to come by and talk for a little while. It's been awhile since you and I have had a good conversation and I feel like we've been drifting a part for a little bit and I don't want that to happen. I want to make sure that everything is going alright with you."
He got up, the match had just finished and he turned around to face me.
"Well, you've been so involved with this Colin guy, people are going to think you're dating him or something."
I froze there for a second. Was it that obvious? Were Colin and I too close? No ridiculous. But I had to make sure.
"I'm starting to think you're really not thinking about me at all." he said, averting his gaze from me.
My heart sank. Ugh, I felt so bad for him.
"Roy, don't think that. Yea, Colin has been a really great friend to me and all. I wanted to make sure that I had at least one decent friend in high school so I wasn't a total loser. You gotta understand, it's not easy being in high school and all. And you're going to be there next year yourself and I think you'll begin to get a better picture of exactly what I'm talking about."
"But I think I should get at least some time with you." he said, looking up.
Wow, he really knows to lay the guilt nice and thick. I sighed.
"You're right. You got me there. Check it out, we still got one more day off of school. How about when mom and dad, go to bed tonight, we bring the console downstairs, hook up, heat up some pizzas, and pull an all nighter? How does that sound?" I said, smiling.
A huge smile spread across my brother's face. He jumped up and gave me a hug.
"Sounds great!" he shouted, all excited.
I started to walk out of the room.
"Wait." Roy said.
I stopped and turned around.
"Ya?"
"Are you and Colin more than just...friends?" he asked slowly, tilting his head slightly.
Again, I froze. Damn my little bro and his excellent observing skills. There was no fooling this kid. I still had to lie though.
"Nope, just friends." I said, walking out.
I walked down the hallway and saw my parents in the room and over heard them talking.
"Why do you think he had that?" my mom asked, obviously speaking to my dad.
"Maybe he thought he was going to get lucky." my dad responded. I could tell he was smiling by his tone.
"Fuck." I said very softly to myself. My mom must've came across the bottle of lube. Brilliant move on my part to put it on the top pocket of the suitcase. I mentally beat myself up as I headed downstairs.
The time passed and eventually I heard Roy come down. I smiled as we headed into the kitchen, got our food prepared and headed downstairs for our video game extravaganza.
Two months had passed since our trip to Mexico. They were fairly uneventful. Colin and I had the occasional fuck and blow job, but nothing fancy. Started feeling like it was the same thing over and over again.
I was at Colin's house that night. His parents were out and I was spending the night. One can figure out the events that followed. We both were cuddling on his bed and he was kissing my neck. We had just finished for our third time now and just relaxing.
"So," Colin said, stopping. Looked like he was about to talk to me about something serious. "When are you going to tell your parents?"
I looked at him. His eyes staring right back at me, not even blinking.
"I don't know." I answered.
"Not good enough, you know your parents are eventually going to find out. You might as well give them time to adjust and stuff." he said.
Of course, another valid point, but not something I didn't already consider.
"I know." What else could I say?
"Well you, do but at the same you don't becau-"
"Just drop it alright?" I interrupted, starting to get a little agitated, "It's not easy. When I'm ready, I'll do it." I said, sitting up at the side of the bed, my back towards him.
He got up and ran his hand along my shoulders.
"Alright, alright. Sorry I pressed." he said, kissing the back of my neck.
I smiled. Curse him. He always found a way for me to forgive him. I laid back down with him in my arms and fell asleep.
Colin stared at Ty sleeping. He smiled and then slowly frowned. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number.
"Hello?" The person on the other side answered.
"Hey. It's me." Colin responded.
"Hey! How's it going?" The other person asked.
"Not so good. Ty still won't tell. Even after all this time." Colin said.
"Hun, forget him. You deserve better." The person said.
"I don't know. I think he'll eventually do it. He deserves a chance. It's hard." Colin said.
"Hun, how long is it been now? Months. You want to be open and I know it really bothers you that he won't. It's not his fault if he can't respect that."
"We'll see...I'll talk to you later." Colin said, hanging up the phone.
Colin sighed heavily and closed his eyes, dozing into dream land.
Another month had passed. It's now April. Year is coming to a close pretty fast. I couldn't believe how the time was flowing by.
Colin and I have been going fairly steady still. However, he's been really pushy about me coming out to people. He really wants to be open and I'm holding him back because if he comes out and then people see us hanging around all the time, they are going to be able to figure out what exactly is going on. I don't know why, but for some odd reason I'm having a lot of trouble doing this.
I have been thinking about it for quite some time now and I simply can not muster up the courage to be able to tell people who I really am. Can I really start high school with the fact that I like boys? Not the best for the reputation. But then again, I'm holding someone that I really care for back because he is ready to take the next step.
I put the thoughts aside when I approached Colin's locker.
"Hey hun." I said, trying to muster a smile.
"Hey." he responded, very monotone.
"Great, I'm losing him." I thought to myself. He's beginning to feel that I'm worthless to him. Would he really act that way? Well, he does have someone of a reason to. Enough, set aside for another time.
"Look, I know it's a problem with me coming out and all. I realize that. I really do. And I'm sorry that I'm taking awhile. Maybe I am over thinking this a little bit too much. It's just....hard. Period. I don't know why. I simply can not come clean as of right now. Just give me another month." I said, hoping he would agree.
"Fine." he replied, slamming his locker and walking away.
I sighed. "Great."
I got home and just threw my bag on the floor, went up to my room, and threw myself onto the bed. I sighed heavily.
"Ugh, what am I going to do?" I thought to myself out loud, rubbing my temples.
"What's wrong big bro?"
I look up to see Roy standing by the door. I wiped away a tear that was beginning to form.
"Oh..hey Roy. It's nothing. Just got a lot on my mind." I said, turning away. I really didn't want him to see me tearing up.
"Doesn't seem like nothing to me." Roy responded quickly. Again that observing trait. I really gotta be sneaky around this kid. But then again, not easy to hide crying.
"Alright, you caught me. It's not nothing. It is something." I said, turning back, wiping away another tear.
"You want to talk about it?" he asked innocently.
I sighed.
"I would, but you wouldn't understand. High school things." I said, lying to my own little brother. Lovely.
"I'm only one year away. It can't be that difficult to comprehend what exactly is going on." he said, his voice oozing with sarcasm.
I sighed again. I'm going to have to do this.
"Well, it's with Colin. Our friendship...isn't going so great right now."
"What's wrong?" he asked, taking a seat right next to me.
I put my hand on his shoulder.
"Well, I kind of made Colin mad."
"What did you do?" Again that innocent tone.
"Not the point. The point is I made him mad and I need to do something to make him happy with me again and I'm not sure how."
"Well, maybe if you tell me exactly what you did I can give you some ideas." he said, trying to smile.
"Very thoughtful of you, but not the easy to talk about. I'll explain it to you...in about a month. How about that?" I said, trying to close the subject.
"O.K....not too sure why the specific time period but that works," he replied, getting up and starting to head out, "I'll talk to you later."
The rest of the night was usual. Dinner, followed by homework, followed by some games, followed by a shower, followed by going to bed.
I stripped down to my boxers and got under the covers and stared at the one wall. I reached underneath my bed and pulled a picture of me and Colin from Mexico. We were at the beach and we had someone take the picture. Colin managed to sneak it out before his mom got a chance to look through all of them. Not too sure how but I didn't complain.
I started at the picture for a little while, smiling. Am I really going to let my fear give this up? We are so happy. Well, not right now, but in the past we've been. And it can go back to that if I just muster up the courage to be able to do this. Just to come clear. Why do I find it so difficult to be able to do such thing? I will never understand completely.
I sighed again and tucked the picture back to it's original hiding spot. I turned over, my gaze now at the ceiling.
"It would be so much better." I thought out loud.
I closed my eyes, picturing the times Colin and I have had sex. How amazing and lustful it was in the beginning. But now, it just seems like we're doing it just to do it. Should so much drama exist in such a young teen couple? Not too sure about that.
All these thoughts kept repeating in my head for almost a half an hour. I wanted to go to sleep but I just couldn't.
Colin sat at the foot of his bed, staring at his cell phone. At a specific contact to be exact. He continued to stare at it, pondering rather or not to call the number. He promised the person he would and he wouldn't hear the end of it if he didn't. He hit the SEND button on his phone and held to his head.
" 'Bout time you called." the person said, agitated.
"Shut it." Colin said, rubbing his eyes and sighing.
"Well, seems today didn't go so well."
"He wants me to give him another month." Colin said slowly.
"Another one? Man, this guy is really taking his sweet ass time with this."
"You're telling me. But am I acting selfish for even beginning to think to possibly dump him because he won't come out? The least he deserves is the respect from me to give him the time to come out. It's a test to show how much I really care for me." Colin thought aloud for the person to hear.
"I don't think so, but that's for you to ponder deep into the night. Your call. I'm just telling you to friend-to-friend my thoughts. Just looking out for you. I don't want to see you unhappy."
"I know I know. Thanks for listening. I'll keep you posted." Colin said as he hung up the phone and began to ponder deep into the night.
I sat up. I had to talk to someone. I decided to call Luke. I hope he wasn't sleeping.
"Hello?"
The voice didn't sound groggy but I decided just to make sure.
"Hey Luke, it's me. I didn't wake you did I?" I asked.
"No, you're good. What's up? Everything alright?" he asked.
"Not really. I need to talk to you." I said.
I wasn't ready to tell Luke either. Even my best friend I couldn't tell.
"I'm listening." he said.
"So check it out, I really want to do something, but I can't muster up the courage to do it and if I don't do it, I feel that something bad is going to happen."
"Well, care to tell me what this something is?" he asked.
I sighed.
"No. I can't. Not now. I just need your advice. Go along with it."
I could tell Luke was rolling his eyes.
"Well check it out, if you really don't want this bad thing to happen, then do it. But you really need to realize if this bad thing really means so much that it can alter your life or some shit. But then take into account if this bad thing is influencing you, maybe it's good just to let it happen and get it out of your life." he said.
"Wow." I thought to myself.
"You're right," I said, speaking into my phone. "Thanks dude. I'll talk to you later."
"Night." he said right before hanging up.
Luke put his phone down.
"If he can't even come out to me, he's not ready for a boyfriend. I hope he makes the decision that I want him to make and I hope I managed to convince Colin to dump him, because I want Colin's ass to be MINE." he said, smiling as he went sleep.
Oh snap! What will happen next!? Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry for the delay! Expect stories sooner though!!!