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This story and its characters are completely original and belong to Zelosh and him alone. Any resemblance it has to another story is accidental as well as coincidental. While this story is fairly clean there may be things you find inappropriate or offensive. Read at your own risk.

With that, enjoy your stay inside The Eternal Door

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Eternal Door

"Hate what we stand for"

"FUCK OFF!" His voice was harsh and brutal, but this wasn't the first time someone had started yelling. It was becoming a common occurrence now, everyone was restless and afraid, but also incredibly bitter and broken.

Gil staggered backwards as if he had been hit, which he had before actually when they had fought. Fighting was strangely intoxicating when the other could just heal and continue, it allowed for a complete release of the emotions. "Ryan I..."

"I don't want to hear it you fucking murderer." The tiger hissed back.

"Ryan I told you it wasn't like that! He..." Jessica wanted to interject but wasn't sure how to explain it when she herself didn't remember all the details.

"You said it yourself Jessica! You were kidnapped and because of that you died. If it weren't for this asshole you wouldn't be here!"

Gil was falling apart from all that was going on. "Look! I don't remember what happened very well and I won't deny that I did that. I just think there was more to the story than that, like there was a reason that I-"

Ryan slammed into the jackal. "Don't you dare make excuses!"

"Ryan calm the fuck down!" she snapped back at him.

"Why?! He killed you! In fact, if this godforsaken jackass had given it a moment of consideration he could've saved Blake! But OH NO he had to go running out with his damn tail between his legs!"

That did it, Gil pounded a fist into the feline's face and jumped on top of him trying to strangle him. "THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?! That's rich coming from someone who could've helped him as well you prick!"

"I was carrying Jack!"

"Yeah cause she told you to! At least I found the exit, the exit which you practically raced me to get through you hypocritical son of a bitch!" They began rolling around on the ground struggling for dominance. "What's wrong?! Having trouble now that daddy isn't here to give you everything you want rich boy?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY FATHER?!" Ryan threw him off and used his claws to tear through as much skin as he could. They began to go at it for a minute before stopping to simply stare each other down. The pain hardly mattered anymore, they had experienced so much of it this was a walk in the park. However, exhaustion was catching up to them rather quickly, that was their one adversary in this place. With every swing their breath became shorter and raspier. Jessica wasn't sure what to do anymore, she wanted to let her knees buckle and sleep wherever she fell.

This was too much, one of them actually died. They had gone to Blake's room right after and found his door bound in chains preventing them from entering. They'd never know what kind of room he was in, nor what words were left behind when he fell asleep. Those words of blood were the only thing left of him, but they were locked away now. Blake was really dead.

Was it possible for him to still be alive? They didn't see the corpse obviously, though there was a lot of blood, but for some reason it was impossible to think that way. He was dead, they all knew it and couldn't deny the fact no matter what they did. Then again he didn't die, he's already dead, he was disqualified.

"You're noisy..." They all looked over to see Jack with a slight frown on his face. The lizard deserved pity, he looked like a wreck which was saying something since he always had looked that way. His entire body was halfway limp as he shuffled his way to a nearby couch. He seemed lifeless, but his eyes held this timeless sadness to them. There was no anger in his voice, it was more like a remnant of past speech behaviors rather than him actually being mad that they were yelling.

"Jack..." Jessica's heart began to break. Jack had begun to look up to the black tiger, a father he never had, and based off of previous conversations she was suppose to be the mother he never had. Turning back to the other two she growled deep in her throat as her ears fell back in a feral snarl. "You two, stop acting like preschoolers, now."

"But Jessica I-"

"Ryan! I don't give two shits that he kidnapped me, and I think we know a good deal more about the situation than you do! If you can't handle it go complain to the wall and leave him alone. That is final." She looked to the jackal who gulped reflexively. "And Gil, I don't care what happened, I don't really care to find out, but the next time you think it's a good idea to make fun of Ryan's life you better be fucking prepared to deal with me. You don't know a goddamn thing about him, so shut it."

There was a long pause, both of them were unable to move. Jaws slightly dropped, minds in a complete stupor, they both turned away and wouldn't look at each other before finding some place to calm down and rest.

Jessica sighed, feeling somewhat guilty herself, and glanced over at Jack who seemed completely unattached to the situation. She sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug without a word. He didn't resist, hardly acknowledged her presence, but one single tear managed to roll off his scaly cheek.

"Sorry..." He finally broke the silence, and with one word sent her into confusion.

"For what?"

"For attacking you, I remember everything that happened in there you know."

"Now now you were just scared Jack I don't blame you," she cooed softly in his ear and rocked back and forth slowly. "I just wish I knew what had happened."

"Fear, Jessica..." He paused and gathered his thoughts as she waited patiently for him to continue. "My big brother once told me, the one person we fear the most, is ourselves, and he was right." Sniffling he continued, "I was so scared of myself I didn't know what to do. That was me Jessica, not some freak transformation of my body, that was really me."

She continued to gently rock them both, not letting anything he said cause her to deprive him of this comfort. "Your brother seems like a smart guy." He gave an almost unnoticeable nod. "Jack... I don't think that was actually you."

"Jessica..."

"Fine, fine... Then again Blake did say something like that. He told me not to 'hate you for who you are, but if I must hate what you stand for.'"

The lizard turned to look her in the face, a strange admiration in his eyes. "He said that? Was he not affected or something? I'm... not surprised actually." Jack laid back and breathed slowly, letting exhaustion take him. "Blake... accepted himself."

She didn't say anything else, nothing else needed to be said. He didn't mind though, he preferred the silence right now. Only the crackling of the large fire in the room filled their senses.

* * *

Sleep, very much needed sleep. It was all that was on any of their minds now. No more quarrels, no more yelling, no more crying, it was time to just sleep. Ryan felt so excruciatingly dead, like every limb in his body only had enough energy to move him to a nearby comfort source before collapsing. He had been sitting down for the past few hours and it still felt like he had just run a marathon. It was a workout without all the sweat, pain, and benefit of working out.

Why was the only normal thing left behind in all of them exhaustion? It was strange, all of the sudden the everyday needs seemed like such a nuisance, like everything would be easier if they didn't need any of those things. At the same time though, he was sick of fighting, he really did want to rest. Every ounce of his willpower was spent on endless streams of cuss words and fiery emotions. He wanted to punch Gil for whatever the hell he did. He wanted to apologize to Jessica for everything that had happened. He wanted to hit himself for losing control in the last trial and almost hurting her. He was a wreck and not getting any better. At this rate if he went to bed now he'd probably fall into deep slumber for a whole week.

What kept him up? Company, people that they themselves would not go to bed. He had no room to speak of, so he had to sleep out in the main lobby, something he greatly despised. He felt so open here, and then when he woke up his mind would be on display for everyone to see. He felt violated, depressed, dead, and oh so drowsy.

Soon Kid had come warily into the room and sought out Jessica. "What's wrong sweetie?"

They were talking about something, and feeling mildly interested Ryan moved over with slow, lethargic movements. Jack had gone to bed, but Gil was still there and had also decided he too wanted to know what was going on.

"Something wrong Jessica?" Ryan asked half feigning his concern while the other half of him really wanted to know what was wrong.

"She says she can't sleep, something about blood."

"Oh your blood words?" Gil concluded, lightly gesturing with his hands. He figured he was right when she looked up at him in response. "Yeah those are kind of disturbing... I know it must feel weird to see your own mind." Kid shook her head vigorously. "No?"

The little cub's head fell as she tried to find a way to speak. She always seemed so shy, and only one person had really seen the other side of her. That person was... "Blake."

Ryan woke up completely in utter surprise at her mentioning him. "Blake? You had a dream about Blake?" She shook her head. "Oh wait the blood... you mean in the hallway? But that isn't in your room..." Another shake. "What?" What else is there? "The only other blood is those words though Kid. Unless you're talking about someone else's the only blood in your room is..." Ryan stopped, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as he was propelled into deep thought. "Jessica?"

"Uh yeah?" She looked at him curiously, trying to understand his contemplative expression. "What are you thinking about?"

"Where did Blake sleep last?"

She answered instantly as if it was obvious and needed no thought. "Well his room of course where else would... oh... OH!" She understood now and gave him the confirmation he needed to be certain of this. Immediately they both got up and headed to Kid's room with her, leaving Gil somewhat confused as he followed closely behind.

"I don't get it what's the problem? Don't leave me out of the loops guys!"

"Blake didn't sleep in his room! I can't believe I didn't remember until now, Blake was in Kid's room when he last slept!"

"So the words he left behind..."

"Are in there!" Jessica finished his sentence and hurriedly opened the door to the glass room and stepped inside. The guys, this being their first time in there, were momentarily stunned, but they quickly broke the trance in order to head over to the couch where Jessica was now. They all stared intently and quickly identified the words on the blue fabric as Blake's.

It read...

**I will protect you... this I swear

a shining knight, against all who dare...

But...

When did you stop looking up?

Is it because when you looked... I wasn't there?

Forgive me... Please forgive me...

I'll continue to run now, for I know you won't be waiting for me

I'm sorry I let you down, but one day... I swear

I will come back for you!

May the AEGIS guide you...**

but... SINIS is sinister

No one said a word for a good while. Ryan ran it over in his mind several times, trying to draw as many conclusions as possible. He was trying to protect someone, almost like he was both apologizing and warning that specific someone. "It's like a letter..." He finally decided.

"Look here..." Jessica moved in closer and pointed out two words in all caps. "What is 'aegis' and 'sinis?' These words stand out, and they have to mean something for them to show up right?"

Gil scratched his head and ran his fingers along the lining of the couch as if to suck the meaning of the words from it. "Sinis... where have I heard that before?" Suddenly his touch wasn't quite as gentle as he had pressed into the couch to support his weight before trying in vain to pull away. Gil stumbled, landing on his knees before finally slumping and blacking out.

"Gil! Are you... o... k-" Jessica's head fell as if her neck was made of Jello and the rest of her soon followed.

"Well then..." Ryan saw it coming and didn't fight it, the temptation was too great to just sleep right here and now. He was careful to avoid Jessica but ended up tripping over her and just landing with a hard thud against the ground. He didn't make any pained sounds, simply fell asleep.

All three of them were completely gone now, forming a triangle formation on the ground with their unconscious bodies. Kid was left behind to gaze on from her bed. She glanced nervously at each of them, a look of concern and indecision on her features. There was no way she could sleep in there now, but it also felt odd just leaving them there. Taking a moment to haphazardly throw blankets all over them she left the room to find somewhere else to sleep.

* * *

Ryan groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as the migraine came on. That would be the last time he slept on the floor, not the most comfortable place in the world. He now sat in the main room next to the fire, trying to sort through random thoughts that were appearing in his head as he listened to the other next to him.

"So I really think it had something to do with it..."

"Gil..." Ryan stopped him for a moment as he rubbed his temples. "Please I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"But seriously! Sinis had something to do with it. I don't know the connection, but I don't think it happened exactly how it sounded."

"Gil, I already promised Jessica that I wouldn't get into a fight with you again so please don't tempt me. I'll take your word for it, but I still don't know what to think about this whole thing right now." He didn't care what Jessica said, this was his problem just as much as it was hers. He always got into her problems, one should think she'd be use to it by now.

The jackal paused to take a deep breath before ending the conversation. "Fine, that's enough for me." He slumped back in the chair and they both watched the fire continue to crackle. Their relationship right now was uneasy. There was this bond created by the life and death situation of the first trial that had been brutally bashed after the revelation in the second trial.

In another corner of the room two figures sat together. "You sure you don't remember?" Jack spoke softly so as their conversation would be private. He was somewhat depressed but it was hard staying down for some reason. It had been easy when he was tired, but after that good night's rest he felt better.

Kid shook her head slowly. "I knew at the time but... I'm sorry." She looked up at him, an innocence in her eyes that had long since broken through his protective skin.

"It's fine, I'm just worried is all. You said someone told you your mom would be here, but in the end you didn't find her right?" Jack waited for a moment, but her silence was enough of an answer for him. "You trust this guy?"

"I'm sorry..." she said, close to tearing up. He breathed out slowly, letting one arm reach around and rub her shoulder comfortingly. Nothing else was said for the moment.

Elsewhere, Jessica was left to ponder last night's new revelations. She had remembered quite a bit about herself, including the memories gained during the trial. It almost felt like she knew Ryan her whole life, but she knew better than that. The memories were still blurry, but she recalled her hometown. Where her life began, Gargant.

However, what really concerned her at the moment were the blood words from last night. The shimmering red in the blue afterglow seemed to taunt her, their meaning lost within their scarlet letters. The three of them had slept too closely, the words had overlapped and were mostly unreadable. The words she could understand were hardly decipherable too. Her words, "It's only matter of time... Told you so, because when the clock strikes... curse will end along with... Your smiling corpse reminds me of... the ever turning sphere, I am lost in eternity." Gil's words, "To breathe, to walk, to eat, to live my life... I do not wish to be... but stuck under the iron fist... To choose, to force one's will onto this life, onto... Even if it wasn't HIM, I am always under GOD, so what's the difference? I still search for freedom, but I fear it has already..." Ryan's words, "It takes over and now I... kill, kill, kill... to outgrow this I must... blood pours from this cup, but... why must this fall on me? I never asked for this, this world is so... Kill kill kill, devour everything, grow and grow and gro- I cannot stop this now."

That was all that she could make out from the text scrawled haphazardly onto the glass flooring. She noted that it did not feel tangible, these words could not be washed off but upon touch it had a texture similar to dried blood. Either way, absolutely none of those words were on her mind right now anyway, she more concerned about something else that had appeared on the floor. In the center of the triangular pattern a single sentence stood out from the rest. It was clear, easily read, and it was almost like their close proximity had allowed their thoughts to fuse together and create something entirely new. These words were not hers, nor Gil's or Ryan's, but all of them as one whole.

**'Would death be better than this?

I leave now, broken, but my heart remains in this cursed city

Forever'**

She admittedly had thoughts about suicide in the past, but what of the other two? Did Ryan think that way? No, she couldn't assume that, the question was more of an inquiry rather than them seriously considering that alternative, but it scared her to think that was on all of their minds. It was natural to wonder if death was better though.

Also, what of their city? Havenine? It had to be Havenine, but it was odd to think her heart remained their. Did she love that city? Strangely, when forced to answer the question, the answer was an easy yes. No matter how much pain she experienced, could she really have blamed it on that city? It was a new beginning for her, a mysterious world with seemingly endless boundaries. Her memories of her time spent and the people there binded her to the place, making it seem like though she was here a piece of her was still there.

Wait, what was she talking about? A piece of her was still there, her lifeless corpse. Indeed, her heart would remain in that city forever, that much was true. Whether the city was cursed or not didn't matter. Besides, she was still trying to learn the meaning of 'cursed.' Remnants of her past never truly disappeared, no matter how much her friends helped her through it. Instead of denying what is deemed as inescapable, she simply had to learn to redefine her burdens. So what did it mean to be cursed? It could simply be that, in the end, all that really matters is doing your best, despite what may come of it. Even if this curse kills her, she would know she had tried till the very end.

This curse of hers was really nothing more than a mark on her back, a birthmark actually that was simply darkened fur that formed some sort of of pattern on her back. Back in her hometown it had been a sign of disaster, her family shunned because of it. Though, it was hard to think badly of her townspeople, especially when disaster really did come. Was it her fault? Perhaps not, but then again she'd like someone to prove to her that if she had not been born it would have happened anyway. She could not think bitterly of people striving to survive, she was doing the same herself even now.

They were all doing anything they could to survive, even if that meant sacrificing a part of themselves along the way.

* * *

"I... don't know if I'm ready to talk about this." Gil admitted quietly, feeling a bit down every time the subject came up. It reminded him of too much, not to mention the tension between him and Ryan. He detested that tension.

Ryan sympathized, though he did not say it out loud, he too was unsure of whether it was time to discuss this yet or not. "Is it really important? Blake died... no, he was disqualified. He's not here anymore, we're going to just have to survive without him."

"It is important Ryan." It was surprising hearing this from Jack. "We need to stop running into these trials blindly, and we need to understand what's going on! I'm sick of fumbling in the dark."

"That's true..."

"Did Blake die then?" Gil said, finding it inevitable to avoid the question as he lowered his head slightly with his hands on his knees. "I don't know, we can't prove anything here. All we have to work with are these damn rules, if we lose those then..."

"Then everything is lost." Jessica finished for him. "This 'game' thrives on the rules set before us. Truthfully, they are sometimes skewed, like when I was told we'd all lose when someone else got to Kid first. Low and behold someone did, but the only thing we lost was..."

"Fine, so whatever the case, we'll simply have to work with what we got, but it's clear now that the rules don't tell us everything. Rather, depending on the trial, it seems like we have... some sort of power over things."

Gil snorted, finding it somewhat amusing, but it was a bitter joy. "We have power huh?"

"Ryan's right." Jack interjected. "Back in the first trial I had been joking around and said something along the lines of the sky turning rainbow colored... and then something else about stopping the moon from turning. Both of those things actually happened."

Jessica added in, not missing a beat in her recounting of the second trial. "In the trial of fear you were all subjected to what may be your greatest fear, yourselves. That much is clear. Blake, however, was somehow able to overcome himself, and he remained mentally unharmed by the whole thing. He had that kind of power."

Ryan felt he too had experienced something similar, so therefore was compelled to add in before the subject faded away. "Back in the trial of destinations, after I had made it to the end by myself, I was told I would be unable to open the door by myself. Essentially, that was true, consider it a rule if you will, but I worked around the rule. I said since Mr. Chalky over there was with me, I should be able to get through. Technically, there was some errors in that line of thinking, but..."

"You used the power of reasoning to redefine what the rule meant or could possibly mean." Gil leaned back and scratched his head thoughtfully. He himself didn't recall finding himself in such a situation, but found it simple enough to understand. "Maybe the fact that the rules are flexible can be used to our advantage? Everything outside them is free game too. Like in the first trial, we were only lost when we didn't know where we were going. Thinking back on it I realize that now, that's how we found home base so quickly, cause we wanted to get there."

"I don't think preparation is quite possible then, it's more like we just have to be able to adapt to the situation when the time comes." They all agreed with that, it summed things up quite nicely. At least now they knew for sure how things worked and could hopefully adapt quickly from now on, but the greatest fear in the back of all their minds was that the rules would unexpectedly be broken. Could the rules be broken? Of course... right? Although, they seemed more like scientific laws than rules though, like one was physically unable to break them. When had they all began to think this way exactly?

Kid shuffled uneasily in the reclusive side of the circle where she had quietly listened the entire time. "Um..." Jessica noticed that she wanted to say something and prompted her to do so. "Who's Mr. Chalky?"

* * *

Things had calmed down since the craziness of the last trial, but as always no one felt very upbeat about anything. No one was optimistic really anything, although Kid seemed easy to please, but she too fully understood the situation so was down most of the time. It was hard feeling much of anything good like this, and it was terrifying to think that their lives were actually in danger. All for what? A stupid game, or was it stupid? Was this for someone's entertainment, or some greater purpose?

Maybe if everything had meaning to it... then things weren't so bad? They kept that thought close to heart, it helped them move on knowing everything had a purpose.

Jack was sitting in one corner, messing with a box of sorts he found on one of the shelves. He had placed stuff in it, and was now fiddling with another object of interest. At least, it looked interesting from Gil's view point.

"Is that..." Gil had approached silently, slightly startling Jack before he growled a bit and hid the object.

"None of your business..."

"Hey don't be like that. That was the ring Blake had in the first trial isn't it?"

"It isn't like I stole it!" Jack suddenly blurted out even though the jackal hadn't said anything like that. He believed the lizard, but the kid was still being way too defensive about it. "He just... gave it to me." Jack's voice lowered some as he stared into the depths of the scarlet jewel in his grasp. "Pity I guess." A logical explanation, as Blake had known someone like him could use the money.

Gil was silent for a moment, but then sat next to him on the ground and got comfortable. "You miss him?"

"Yeah..." There was no hesitation in answering.

"Yeah me too..." Gil went quiet for a moment out of respect, but then began to look at what else was in the box. "What's all this stuff?"

The lizard reflexively pulled the box closer as if to protect it, but after a moment loosened his tight hold and chilled out. It wasn't good to be like this right now, he was always told not to seclude himself from others. "Back before I died... I kept a secret stash of all the precious or interesting things I had come across in life. It was really important to me, so I started to do that here as well."

They both scanned over the collected objects. There were two glittering rings, some ripped up scrolls, a burnt piece of wood shaped like a dog, an exotic flower probably from a vase out in the hallway, and a few other minor things. "You going to take it to your room?" He was given a nod in response, Gil smiled. "Could I come? I haven't seen your room yet."

* * *

Ryan, slowly but surely, managed to gather up his nerve to sit by Jessica. He hadn't apologized yet, and for some reason it had become rather excruciating to make decisions at this time. He simply wasn't sure of anything anymore, and he was starting to become more conscious of his own fragile life. If one knew they could die at any moment, what would they do?

"Hey... I just wanted to say," he breathed in deeply, "I'm sorry."

Jessica looked up from the book she was reading, and he couldn't help but notice the way her curly tail wrapped around her hips. The word "cute" crossed his mind, but he set it aside. "It's fine Ryan I've just been a little... tired." She smiled and patted the spot next to her, inviting him to sit down. "Going it alone like that was nerve wracking to say the least, I felt like I could snap at any moment."

Ryan hurriedly accepted the proposal to sit down, but still kept an awkward space from her, his hands on his knees. He didn't know why he felt so timid right now, but he really wanted to talk to her. "Yeah I know the feeling." He really did too, the experience of going it alone in the first trial was enough to make a man crazy, but he had had it easy then compared to her situation.

"Yeah... I think we can all understand a little bit. You guys, in a sense, were alone inside your own minds right? Fighting against..."

"Call it an infection I guess." He helped her finish, seeing as how she didn't completely understand something she hadn't experienced first hand. "It was like something got inside me and took over. Imagine feeling crowded inside your own body."

She shuddered a bit and nodded. "Invasive..." He just agreed, noticing that the conversation was beginning to die. She had gone quiet and went back to reading, and he hadn't accomplished what he wanted to yet.

What am I trying to accomplish anyway? I apologized already... He tried loosening up and placed a friendly hand on her knee. She looked up at him seemingly surprised for a moment, her brows were furrowed but she was grinning slightly. Turning back to the page she was on it seemed like she had ignored him completely. Few seconds later, she got up a little bit to adjust her pants for whatever reason, they were probably uncomfortable or something, but she had notably sat closer to him when she came back down. Another few seconds and she had leaned into his shoulder, sending him little hints and signals.

From there things went smoothly and soon his arm was around her and she was laying against him comfortably. The moment was serene, he hadn't been this close to her in a long while. Truthfully, he would normally be able to hang an arm around her any moment of the day without a care. They were best friends, that's how it worked, but right now... he wasn't thinking about how they were friends. He wanted more, and she had noticed.

"Jessica..." She let him know she was paying attention. "If you thought you were going to die, what would you do?"

The canine sighed and looked tempted to pull away but didn't. "Ryan we've been through this before."

"But things are different now!" He instantly raised his free hand to cover his mouth, he had to calm down and lower his voice. "It isn't like that anymore. We're here and we could... be together."

"Ryan I know how you feel. You were just respectful at first because of my situation, then your schooling and responsibilities got in the way so you..."

"I had no time for anybody I know, and my uncle wouldn't have allowed it anyway, not yet anyway, and even if he had allowed it he wouldn't have liked me dating you. But none of that matters anymore! I'm feeling it again..." He squeezed her slightly. "I love you."

"I love you too Ryan, I've never tried to date anyone else because of that. Well... there was more to it than that of course." She simply was not ready, and she didn't need someone to be that close anyway. Unlike other girls she could deal without a guy to hang off of.

"Then why..."

"Because Ryan." Her eyes filled with vibrant emotion, they pierced him with an icy chill of rejection. "Even now, this is not the time or place. I know you feel like there are things you have to do now or you'll never be able to but you have a job to do Ryan, you need to lead everyone. I don't know if you've noticed, but they look up to you." It was also not quite the time for this with the recent death and other crazy stuff going on but she didn't mention that.

"Heh..." He didn't take the comment quite seriously, focusing too much on being denied. "Not Gil."

"You don't know Gil."

"Oh? Enlighten me." He chastised himself for the bitter tone.

"I'm not entirely sure of this myself but..." She considered her words carefully, and he was half tempted to interrupt and assume she had nothing to say back. "He tries so hard for someone else, but it's like he doesn't want to."

Ryan paused, puzzled as to whether she was making him look like the good guy or not. "That's.... weird? What makes you say that?" Jessica shrugged and looked as if she was about to go back to reading. He sighed heavily, feeling the energy being sucked out of him as depression settled in. "Fine." He, much to her surprise, suddenly pulled her in much closer and adjusted himself so that it was more like they were laying down with her on top of him. He was bigger than her, easily capable of moving her before she had a chance to do anything about it. "Just... don't take this away from me..."

She looked at him feeling a bit nervous and anxious to get away. They really shouldn't be doing this, and she wasn't ready, but he also wasn't asking for anything more than this. He just wanted to be close to someone else. The chill of this place was making loneliness a deadly occurrence, he wanted to feel warmth, and she, though not as socially dependent as him, felt the same. However, what really made her relax and accept it, was when she finally realized that he was trembling.

The shaking only quelled slightly. Ryan could only wonder with great fear, who he truly was, and what he stood for.