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After I went to drop Lexi off at Tyler's, I spent a good amount of time just lying back on my bed, phone facedown on my chest, muzzle pointed up to the ceiling while I thought back over what the hell all happened today, and just what it all meant. I think it still hadn't really settled in; it still felt kind of vague and distant, kind of "oh well" like it was just some minor inconvenience, even when Dad rapped a knuckle against my door and asked what was up. Could tell in his eyes, in his whiskers, in his pinched muzzle that he was concerned, and he kept glancing over towards my window as if wondering that I even knew the jackal had left.

I sat up, gave him my best relaxed smile, and told him - yeah, Dad, everything's fine. Just workin' through some stuff. Hey, can Tony come over Monday this week? And that seemed to put his mind off of it - for a moment at least; after slipping back out of my room, he stopped at the door for a moment longer, and looked me over as I read a new message on my phone. When I glanced up to him, he moved and closed the door.

For some reason I wasn't too surprised that it took until later in the afternoon for Lexi to contact me again. She had stayed over here at my place for another few hours, sitting back against my bed reading things on her phone while I tried to play a game at my computer; that was usually how things went when we hang out, even when Tyler wasn't being a... whatever. Just us, each doing our own things, though occupying the same room as we did them. And that was nice. Lexi and I weren't quite as close as me and Tyler were, or had been, but I also felt like I could trust her a bit more after those few short hours, the music and sound effects of my game every now and then interrupted by her chuckling at something behind me, or shifting and adjusting her position.

And. You know. The whole Tony thing, which she'd so far been an undeniable help with.

Well, she said after a while, and stood up. I paused my game and turned to watch her; she stretched her arms over her head, gave voice to a wide yawn, flicked her tail behind her. As if she wasn't concerned at all about her boyfriend's behavior, as if it was just a regular occurance. She scratched a spot along her long muzzle when she went on. It was nice hanging out with you, Matt, but I really should be getting back. Gotta take care of, uh. Of the baby.

I frowned. "Baby?"

She flopped her tongue out and rolled her eyes up, and I nodded. Oh. For a second, there, just a quick shock of a second, another question hovered on my tongue - and the vixen seemed to sense it, her ears cupping forward and whiskers lifting up, lips pursing forward like she had already prepared an answer for it. If she knew that Tyler was like this, and if she knew that he - her boyfriend - acted as such towards her brother, and towards her other best friend Sandra, then why...?

But. I didn't. And the moment passed like a cold breeze, and I nodded and reached to swipe my keys from the edge of the desk.

When we got to Ty's house I got hit with another odd feeling, something like - what if I were to just walk up with her, knock on the door, and go right on in as if nothing had changed? Seemed like there wasn't really anything to prevent me from doing that, or to discourage it. Lexi smiled softly at me as she unbuckled her seat belt and left the car, but then stood there along the curb for a moment, and suddenly strolled around the front of the car and opened my door.

And she leaned in and wrapped her arms around me in another hug.

Floral, berry perfume, with the spicier edge of vulpine underneath. This was Lexi, and I knew that she'd stay with me and help me along pretty much no matter what it was I had to climb over. And it was this thought that really clicked everything else into place on my drive home, and I almost had to pull over and just... breathe for a moment.

There was her, of course, and where I said that she and I weren't as close as I'd been with Tyler, I knew very well that that'd be changing soon. There was her, and then Sandra kinda off to the side; we were friends, but have never really made an effort to hang out or get to know each other outside of school, and I knew that she hung around with us because she and Lexi go way back.

And there had been Tyler, the one person I'd really consider a 'best' friend since pretty much... well, I lost track of the years. But now there was just this hole where he'd been, this kind of cold, empty spot in my consciousness and my chest. Throughout high school I'd never really bothered branching out and getting to know other people, since I knew Tyler and that was enough. Like, sure, there are other people I talk to maybe once or twice a month, but that's... I don't know. Those friendships never blossomed into anything else, because it didn't feel right.

Dad greeted me from the living room when I got back, and I greeted him back on autopilot as I made my way to the stairs.

But then there was Tony. At first, just some cheetah who I saw walking into school one morning, who came up and asked me for directions to a classroom, who had this shy, sweet smile that made my heart flutter before I knew what that feeling was. Someone who easily, effortlessly fell into that circle of friends, and then just... kept on going, making his way closer to me, either by his own intention or not. And where I had one hole in my chest from a friend leaving, I also had another that was filling out, closing up, warming me from inside out.

When I got back to my room I tossed my keys to my desk, flopped face-up on my bed, and took out my phone to type up a message... but then ended up leaving it there, saving it to my drafts. I had homework to do.

~ ~ ~

"I miss you."

For some reason the next morning my phone thought it appropriate to remind me of my one incomplete draft, and that was what came up to greet me when I opened it up. Felt weird to want to say that so early in our relationship, but, like... the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this wasn't a new feeling. This was exactly the same way I felt when I got home after a long day at school, and wanted to talk to someone, and Tony was the first on my mind.

Maybe I was just more aware of it now in the absence of another real close friend. Didn't get much homework done at all yesterday with all sorts of cloudy thoughts rumbling around in my head, but today I found that it was easier: I set my phone face-down on my desk and off to the side, turned up my music, and focused in on what I was doing, and it was okay. I guess a silver lining to this whole thing meant that Tyler wouldn't be bugging me every ten minutes about help with a math problem, or about some video game or another.

Still, though, I was dragging. Somewhere along the way my phone vibrated, and I somehow managed the willpower to leave it alone until I forgot about it... but when I did reach over to check the time (lunchtime!) it turned out to be Lexi asking how I was doing.

And - how was I doing? Still hard to tell. I sent her back a shrug and asked the same of her. She took a while to respond, and in that time, I went and sent Tony a message, not the... not the "I miss you", but just a pretty standard "what's up?" At first, I felt... nervous. Nervous that maybe talking to him wouldn't actually cheer me up, that maybe all of this was a mistake and I was wrong.

But that quickly turned out to be an unnecessary worry. Even just reading his texts, hearing the words in his accented voice, smooth yet not, like fine-grained sandpaper... and, heck, his usage of emoticons made me smile. We didn't really have a lot to talk about since we'd last spoken just yesterday, so we just kind of... talked, to fill the space. And it was nice.

It was really, really nice.

I actually didn't notice the passing of time until Dad came and knocked on my door, and I looked up to see him peeking around the corner again.

"Hey, champ," he said. I glanced down; Lexi just responded. "Whaddya wanna cook for Tony? You said he was coming over..."

I smiled. "Tomorrow."

"Right. That was it. Like, we have meat in the freezer, and some vegetables, but nothing really big..."

"Hmm." Usually Dad was the one in charge of cooking, and I just helped. "Actually, I'll ask what he'd like."

"That would work. I was gonna run to the store for ingredients - wanna come with me?"

God. Yes. Anything to get me out of the house and doing something for a bit. "Sure."

Lexi, meanwhile, put on a good face about everything, but I could kind of tell that things were grating on her. Her messages were less energetic, less personable. Used fewer emojis, too. While talking to her I actually started wondering why I hadn't heard from Sandra yet... but then realized, Lexi was probably keeping this under wraps until she had things more under control. Because just going off my kinda-distant impression of Sandra, if she heard about Tyler reacting like this...

Jeez. I'd always heard that high school was a time of change, when everything gets all fucky and upside-down, but I'd just dismissed those stories are rumors from another generation since everything seemed to be going perfectly okay for myself and everyone around me. Not counting Sandra's repeated suspensions and that one time she got arrested. Or how it's been rumored that the other German teacher, I forget his name, regularly has illicit, illegal, and very sexual meetings with some of his students.

And how Lexi, whose brother and best friend are very gay, has been dating a homophobe for about two and a half years now. It's not like she didn't know about it, either.

I guess I wasn't hiding my thoughts very well, since on more than one occasion while strolling through the grocery store, Dad bumped me and asked what was up. I didn't think this was something that really involved him, or that I should really be asking for his help on - I mean, it's not my relationship, and Lexi's easily the smartest out of all of us; if anyone could figure out how to handle this, it was her.

We picked out our stuff and got some extras just in case, and then on the way up towards the front Dad nudged me again, and told me I could go grab a bag of candy and he'd cover it for me. Like I was an eight year old puppy again. So of course I went for it, and when I came back to the cart I couldn't help my tail wagging a bit; something in his expression let me know that he still knew I wasn't feeling my best, and that this was a way to help some of that.

Dinner tonight, he told me on the ride back, would just be leftovers from earlier in the week; we've gotta save all of our cooking energy for tomorrow, to make something that'll really blow my boyfriend away. The older dingo didn't even hesitate when he said that - "your boyfriend", and he did so with a smile on his face. Maybe just a little bit forced, but the basis, the genuine happiness, was there. He was trying, and it showed.

That night went a lot easier than the morning did, though I could feel in the back of my mind and in the pit of my chest that I'd still be feeling this whole thing with Tyler for a while. I mean - how couldn't I? Best friend of all these years, suddenly learns this about me - and it's not like I'm hurting anyone, not like it actually... does anything to him, other than get on his nerves I guess - and then literally, literally, gets up and leaves.

Part of me really wanted to go ahead and talk to Sandra about it, but I felt like I knew how that would go. So I asked Lexi instead.

I kinda forget that you and her haven't really hung out much. But, yeah, she'd tear out his throat if she heard about this, I think. I think you know she's already been trying to get me to break up with him over that for a while now.

Oh jeez. There it was again, this time sounding like she wanted me to ask. I started typing out a response, but I guess she wasn't done, as another moment later my screen filled with another message:

I just want to wait and see if he actually pulls his head out of his ass. If he's not willing to try himself, then god knows Sandra will be more than happy to do it for him. She's always felt kinda pushed away when he's around, and that's pretty much all of the time when I'm not in a club meeting or doing something else for school.

Ha. That had also been one of my thoughts. Tyler always seemed like he got kind of clingy around her. I never really asked him too much about how things went between the two of them, since I always just figured he'd tell me if he needed advice or whatever. And - all three of us hung out fairly often enough anyway, so. Guess things would be turning around, though. Now instead of him being the one I see in my free time most often, it would be her. And, right now, that was fine by me.

That thought, that realization, just kind of came out of nowhere, and stuck in my mind like the cold spot you get at the roof of your mouth and back of your throat after drinking something real icy. It came as like - like a surge of energy, a burst of confidence. There's this wonderful new thing in my life, and I want to explore it and poke into and figure out what it is and what it'll do for me, and where it'll go. And I don't want to have to fight through any pointless opposition to get there.

Wouldn't be that easy, I bet. Everything I'd heard about and read - one time in English class last year we were all assigned to pick out a magazine interview and re-format it and tell it as if it were a prose story, and I'd gotten a thing from a guy who'd come out as gay in his valedictorian speech at his high school graduation - presented this whole self-discovery thing as definitely Not Easy. Usually the opposite. That was what scared me, and that was what crept into my mind late at night when all my other worries had had the decency to leave my brain alone.

Two nights. That's it. That's all that had passed since we'd made it official. And already I was saying shit like this.

So I sighed, rolled over onto my other side in the bed, and pulled the blankets further up along my shoulder. I knew it'd get plenty warm later in the night, but for now the chill of the evening had started to creep in through my fur and prick tiny little needles into my nerves and my bones.

"Oh jeez," I typed back, "I didn't even think about what we're gonna do in the morning and at lunch tomorrow. I've been hanging out with you two since you started dating."

No, I'VE been hanging out with you two since we started dating. Would you believe that I used to get so much more homework done in the mornings, when I'd spend my time at the library?

That made me feel bad. Not about - not about distracting her, but about my own homework habits. I used to be a lot better about it, meaning that I used to sometimes stay up past midnight trying, working, slaving to get something done because God forbid I quit working on something before it's finished. Tyler had been a bit of a bad influence on me. "Am I supposed to apologize? ;)"

And what do you mean, 'what we're going to do'? I'm gonna make sure Tyler doesn't punch any holes in the walls, and you're gonna hang out with your boyfriend.

Then, another second later-

You two are actually legitimately official now. Right? Now you can stop giving each other the flirty-eyes between classes and always smiling at each other like there's some joke only you two are in on.

"Wait. We do that?"

Yes! And Ty would always scowl at you guys if you did it when around us, since that's Just A Little Too Damn Gay for his liking.

Admittedly, the second part of that brought a smile to my face. Kind of an uncomfortable, "it-could-be-way-worse" smile, but... a smile nonetheless. And as for how me and Tony act when we're around each other... well, Lexi had said it was pretty obvious that we liked each other, and that she knew before I did.

Speaking of. For the first time since Friday, my tail stirred a little behind me, and thumped against the mattress; as I was typing out my next response, another little message preview popped up - and I opened that one up and read through it:

Hi Matt. c: I was just getting ready to go to bed. How are you?

Oh man. Tomorrow. "I'm actually already in bed! Long weekend. Tired. At least we have the week off." Pause for thought. "Gonna be nice to see you."

Is everything ok? I did not hear from you a lot today. Mama kept me busy with yard work...

My thumbs hesitated over the screen, and couldn't decide on what to say or how to start for a moment. I ended up starting that message four different times before I got something I thought good enough to send.

"Tyler and Lexi came over. Tyler is... well, he doesn't really approve of us. He sort of walked out, and I had to drive Lexi home later. I haven't heard from him since."

Tony's response came quickly:

Ooohh :/ I am sorry, are you ok?

"Yeah. I think so? I just wanna get to tomorrow and see you." That was the truth. Knowing that, recognizing it, putting it into words... that felt good. "Me and Dad went to the store today to pick things up for dinner tomorrow."

Aah c: I am excited for that. It will be nice to meet him and see your house.

I thought that was it, but a moment later another message came in.

I have always thought that Tyler did not like me. He has always looked at me weird and ignored me when i try to talk to him. I will tell you the truth that i think it will be better if he stays away and minds his own business, but i am sorry that you lost a friend.

I had to stare at that for a moment, and take a moment to read over it and make sure I hadn't missed something. Hard to believe that that came from the same amber-eyed cheetah who acted so sweet and shy around everyone else. I was actually halfway to sending my own "Are you okay?" message before-

I like Lexi. Are we going to keep her?

"Have you two ever really hung out together before?"

Noooo. I have only seen you outside of class, and one time last week Ky and Ari came over to practice our solos. You should have heard Mama then...

I wished I could have been there. After a while of talking back and forth with Tony and Lexi, though, my thoughts moved on away from whatever it was that had dragged me back down again, and it didn't take long after saying goodnight to both of them (with a *hugs* to Tony, which he returned) before bed and warmth and blankets pulled me into the arms of sleep.

Of course I keep my alarm off on weekends, but goddamn is it nice to not have to wake to one on a weekday. Felt weird stirring that Monday morning, feeling the heat of the sun coming in through the curtains, rolling over and tapping my phone to see the bright 9:24 AM on my phone screen... but not weird enough to prevent me from rolling over and burrowing back in for another half-hour or so of sleep. Dad would be gone at work for the day, and I had nothing I really needed to do; that homework I'd started on last night could really have been left 'til Thursday or Friday. You know how it is with public school, and God forbid they let us have a break without an extra assignment to do.

Between those two awakenings I'd gotten a good morning text from the cheetah - Good morning Matt! In Spanish we say Buenos días. You probably knew that. C: Mama makes sure i stay fluent with my Spanish at home. You should hear her sometime. If you think she can get excited and talk fast when you're around... you have not heard her since i told her about you and me. Then, in another message that had arrived, by the timestamp, just a minute after the first one: I have not had a break. Always asking, ooh, when is Matt coming over next, oooh, I would like to cook for him again, ooh, you are going over to his house? Do you need a ride? All of that...

I breathed a light laugh, and stirred to send a response message. "Well, do you?"

Probably would take him some time to get back to me - I don't know what it is that cheetahs spend their free time doing, though if I had to guess, probably practicing for the spring concert that would be coming up after the end of the break - so I used the next several minutes to build up the confidence and strength to lift myself out of bed.

Blankets fell away from my chest, I lifted my arms over my head to let out a wide yawn, then considered crawling back under and going back to sleep for another few minutes... and then my phone vibrated in my lap, putting my mind right back onto it.

No actually, Mama offered to bring me. She would like to meet your father, if that is ok? And - I need to do some homework and practice today, but then I can come over. What time will be good?

Not soon enough, I think. Or - well, I've gotta clean up some, and make sure the table's all set, and look up a recipe, which I probably should have done before, and then actually get started with the cooking...

But. It might be nice to have some company.

"I'll ask Dad."