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She knew this ache. She had felt it only once before, but not nearly as intense as this. It had come from the first Wolf she ever saw, the one with the scars running across his chest in jagged lines.

You bitch_! I tried to be_ nice_, and this is the thanks I get!?_

No... please don't!

By the time we're done with you, you'll wish I had killed you right here and now!

A red flash of pain followed by an unsteady darkness, seconds and minutes and hours floating away like leaves in a stream, soon forgotten. Waking up inside that cage had felt like this. All that pounding, throbbing pain concentrated in her cheekbones, and the bitter taste of blood on her tongue. She had been so scared. More scared than she had ever been in her life. But it hadn't been all bad. He had been there, too. Just another frightful face in the crowd at first. Just another pair of ruthless eyes, just another set of teeth. Just another monster among a thousand.

Until he spoke up.

We should let her go.

In an instant he had stood out from the pack with such glaring contrast, like a fleck of gold in a muddy stone, or a single star peeking through a gap in the clouds. No, it was brighter than that. Not a twinkle or a glimmer, but a blinding flash. It was like a bolt of lightning tearing across the midnight sky, slicing the darkness in half.

Who would have guessed that her darkest moment, when she was sure she was about to die a horrible death, would also be the moment she met the love of her life? The Wolf who sacrificed everything to save her. The Wolf who gave her more than she could ever imagine. The Wolf who blessed her with... with...

An unpleasant pang broke through the haze in her mind, strong enough to overpower even the throbbing ache in her jaw. It was the same kind of feeling that shot through the pit of your stomach when you smelled smoke downstairs and you couldn't remember if you had left the candles burning, so you run downstairs, praying to all the gods that Father was just milling about like always, smoking that damnable pipe again, and every step you take that feeling gets worse and worse until you finally reach the bottom and you turn the corner and...

Yes. That was the feeling. But a million times worse. A sense of something terribly, disastrously wrong, and the certainty that it might already be too late to stop it.

Kiana groaned. It was such a weak sound she couldn't even hear it herself, could only feel it in her throat, struggling to get out.

Ander had saved her. Saved her from what? From his people, of course. From that blind Wolfess with all the bones and skulls hanging from her neck. From the scarred Wolf with his crooked smile. And...

From the black Wolf. The black Wolf with the empty eyes. The black Wolf with the shining white teeth in the dark. The black Wolf that was always hungry, always starving.

Kiana tried to open her eyes, but everything stayed dark. If felt as if something was physically keeping them shut, like glue.

Ander had saved her. He had saved her from the cage and he had saved her from the black Wolf's teeth. He had brought her home, to her family. He had...

Home. Family. There was more. Much more. It wasn't just her old home. It wasn't just her family. He had added to it. Enriched it. Made it greater than it was before. He had given her...

Home...? Family...?

Our own home. Our own family. He had given me... he had blessed me with...

Family. My own family. Our own family.

My

Our

Together

Child.

Baby.

My baby!!

More pain. Not dull and throbbing, but sharp. Stinging. Further down. A warm wetness tricking down her belly.

Kiana forced her swollen eyes open as far as they would go and a sliver of early morning light broke through the darkness, hazy at the edges because of all the blood that had coated her eyelids.

"Ghh..." She looked down at herself. Her dress was hanging in tatters and her stomach was completely exposed, rising and falling. There were bright red spots of blood soaked into her fur. Two of them were worse than the others, not mere spots, but great crimson streaks like shooting stars.

That's where he bit me when Ander pulled him off his teeth ripped me open oh my gods oh my gods that monster

He tried to take my baby!

Kiana's stomach clenched painfully and the single helping of Cindy's chicken soup she had allowed herself back at the camp came shooting out of her mouth, burning her nose and throat.

"Ahh..." she moaned, struggling just to breathe. Everything hurt. Her whole face felt like it had been broken apart and crudely reassembled beneath the skin by someone who wasn't particularly interested in where all the bits and pieces were supposed to go. There was a faint ringing in her ears, too. A high-pitched whine that wouldn't go away.

Kiana blinked, willing the shadows to retreat, even if only a little. Her face was all puffed up and her skin felt stretched, like the skin of a drum.

Ander? Ander where -

Wait, was she speaking out loud or only thinking she was? The corner of her mouth stung with every syllable and a warm trickle of blood was running down her chin, so she must be talking, right? If only that damn ringing would go away...

She gave her head a slight shake and blinked her eyes, hating how the lids stuck together briefly before snapping open again. It was brighter now than it was before. The whole mill had filled up with a dull, pale light, making the broken railing stand out in thick, gloomy lines. She could hear something beneath the ringing now. A droning whoosh. Was that the wind, or the blood pumping through her own, swelling ears?

She swallowed and tried again. "Ander? Ander...?" She could hear her own voice now. It was little more than a raspy croak that stung her throat, but it was there.

"Mmm! Mmmm!"

Kiana turned her head to the side. The little girl was still there. Her eyes shone a brilliant blue in the steely light, beautiful, but shiny with tears and panic-stricken. She saw that Kiana had awakened and desperately jerked her head, pointing to the stairs.

The ring they were standing on obscured the topmost stairs from this angle, but she could see where the rest curled around, hugging the wall. About halfway down, lying on his side with one arm dangling between the railings was -

Kiana blinked several times, trying to get the blur out of her eyes. Even though it was just a red and grey smudge, she knew what she was seeing, and what she was seeing was impossible.

It was Hezzi. His neck was drenched with -

No that's not blood it's just a scarf it's that ugly red scarf with the tassles Mother knitted it's not blood don't worry it's not blood it can't be.

He wasn't moving.

He saved my life that little Wolf saved my life he jumped in to protect me and he got hurt he got hurt because of me because I wasn't paying attention he's just like his big brother oh Ander where are you we need you...

New sounds, breaking through the haze. A deep growling like that of an animal. The quick, harsh snap of teeth gnashing together. Gasps of pain and grunts of exertion.

Kiana's eye travelled down to the bottom of the stairs, and there they were, the great opposites of her life. The Wolf she loved with all her heart, and the Wolf she loathed in equal measure. The Wolf who had blessed her with a child, and the Wolf who had dared to try and take it from her very womb.

They were locked together in a desperate struggle for dominance, pushing against each other, force versus force, strength versus strength, will versus will.

And Banno was winning.

No!

He was pushing Ander back. That demon shouldn't even be alive. He was more red than black. His whole body was covered in weeping gashes. He was rotting from the inside out. There was a pink loop of intestines hanging from a hole in his belly. There was a pitchfork sticking out of his back like the key to some clockwork toy! And still! Still he was on his feet! Still he was pushing back! Still he was snapping his teeth! Still he was fighting! Still he was seeking to feed that hunger, to kill and kill and kill...

Even those that had not yet been born. Because Banno was the antithesis of all life. He was Death given flesh.

"Ander!" Kiana screamed, ignoring the pain ripping through her cheekbones. "Andeeer!!"

Ander's gaze briefly flickered up to the second level. "Kiana?"

Banno took advantage of this slight lapse in concentration, pushing forward with all his considerable might, driving Ander back. He tried to hold his own, but his leg was giving him trouble. He couldn't brake with it, and the raw stump just went scraping over the floorboards, lubricated by its own blood.

Ander fell down to one knee, his scream of pain completely drowned out by Kiana's own shrill shriek of horror.

"Ander! Get up! You have to get up!"

Banno bore down with all his weight, his mouth open wide, his broken, jagged teeth on full display. She could almost feel them on her stomach again, every deadly fang corresponding to a burning point of pain in her midsection. Those were the same teeth that nearly cleaved her flesh. Those were the same teeth that nearly took her baby's life. Those were the same teeth about to plunge into Ander's neck.

"Ander!" Kiana shouted. "You have to fight back!"

Ander was doing his best, but it wasn't good enough. Banno was gaining ground, forcing him into a weaker and weaker position. He turned his head, shying away from his brother's relentless assault, and Kiana had to stifle a gasp as the dusty light washed over his face, contorted into a mask of pain.

He was in even worse shape than before. His eye had crusted over into a mess of half-congealed blood. His nose was broken. There were even more cuts and scratches and bite marks across his whole body. His hair was plastered to his forehead in bloody tangles.

Their eyes locked and Kiana knew everything in an instant. How many times had she looked into that eye, sitting by the fire, watching as the flames flickered and danced inside their depths? How many times had she seen herself reflected inside that eye? How many times had she felt Ander's love pouring out for her from that eye?

Looking into that eye always filled her with feelings she could never quite describe in words, feelings that were better expressed through images. Like going outside after being cooped up all day long and feeling the sun hitting your cheeks. Or coming in from the snow a few hours later to find that someone had left a big poofy sweater by the fire, and you slip it on and all that warmth just envelopes you from every direction all at once. Or sinking into a hot bath at the end of a long day, feeling all the worries just drift away in a big cloud of steam. Or being all wrapped up in a nice, warm blanket, so tight you could barely move. And then, the very last thing: drifting off to sleep, looking forward to tomorrow.

All of those thoughts and feelings were true, but they only touched on how she really felt every time she looked into Ander's eyes. They were merely representations for something so incredibly simple that everyone was capable of feeling it, and yet so complex that it could mean a hundred different things to a hundred different people, the one common thread running through every image that flashed through her mind whenever Ander kissed her, hugged her, or even just held her hand, and that one common thread was warmth. Because that was what Ander really was.

He was warmth.

"Ander..."

But that was not what she saw in this Ander. That was not what she felt when she looked into his eye. It was still the same shade of brown, still had the same softness to it, but the images it conjured were wholly different.

A lonely candle in the middle of a frozen lake, sputtering in the driving wind, about to be snuffed out. A single glowing coal in a pile of ashes, its pulsating light growing dimmer and dimmer, slowly going from red to black. An ember, spiralling up into the sky, riding a helix of smoke, up into the cold black emptiness, as if it had never existed in the first place.

Kiana saw all this, knew all this, even before Ander opened his mouth and said something she never expected to hear him say.

"I can't -"

"YES YOU CAN!!" Kiana bellowed, not caring about the throbbing pain in her jawbone or the puffy feeling of her lips, barely noticing the tears spilling from her eyes and flowing over her swollen cheeks. "You can do it because you're not alone! We're all fighting with you!" The words just bubbled out of her like a fountain, one after the other. She couldn't have stopped even if she had wanted to. "My mother, Ander! How many times has she patched you up, rolling her eyes and clicking her tongue!? She didn't put all that work into stitching you up just so you can go give up now! If she were here she would kick your ass! And my Father, too! He likes having you around! He's always been the lone thorn among roses! The one man surrounded by three moody vixens! He likes having a guy friend around who he can talk to about whatever guy stuff you normally talk about in that sooty smithy of his! Hammers and hinges and stuff, I don't know! If you give up now, he'll go back to rolling around the house like some oversized marble, not knowing what to do except smoke his pipe and get the smell into all the curtains! And even my sister! She taught you how to read and write, didn't she!? She loved those little schooling sessions with you so much that she was getting disappointed by how fast you were learning! She's got a whole stack of books for you to read back home, so if you die here, then all her hard work will be for nothing, too!" Kiana could barely see anymore. Her tears had loosened the dried blood around her eyes, and now a salty, brownish mixture was clouding her vision, turning the mill into wavering shards of light and shadow. She had no idea what was going on anymore, if Ander was even listening to her not, but she couldn't stop. She had to keep going. She had to keep fighting. Smiling faces kept flashing through her mind and she used them all, doing her very best to remind Ander of what was at stake, of what he was fighting for. "Mateo! He's a right jackass sometimes, but even I can see he's trying to make up for it! He's trying his very best to fix things! That's why he's here! He fought to try and make things right! He risked his life for it! So if you die now, Ander, you'll never get the chance to patch things up between you two! All of it will have been for nothing! And what about Sarah, Ander!? Have you forgotten the hell she went through to keep you safe!? She nearly killed herself to make sure you would have a life! Even though it happened more than twenty years ago, it was the start of this fight! She did her part by getting you here, and now you have to do yours! Otherwise none of it will have meant anything!" Kiana kept screaming, kept forcing the words out through her cut and bleeding lips. In a way, she was fighting, too. "Nilia! I don't know her very well yet, but I want to! I saw how worried she was when she brought Hezzi in! I saw the way she stood watch while Mother worked on him! I can tell she cares deeply about those close to her! That's why she's here! She fought to protect those around her, and if you die now, Ander, then all her efforts will go to waste, too! And what about your little brother!? I have no idea how he got here, but I know the reason he put himself through all that was to help you in whatever way he could! Because he loves you! And now he needs your help, Ander! If you can't win, he'll die! I know that's a terrible thing to say, but it's the truth! And it's not just his life, but all our lives! If you fail, all of us will die, even this innocent little girl who doesn't have anything to do with anything! That's why we need you to fight, Ander! We need you! I... I need you..." Scalding hot tears flowed down her cheeks, first stinging, then soothing the bruises on her faces. Never before had she felt such an intense desire for such a simple thing; just to hold him. Just to be held. Just to wrap her arms around his middle and feel his big, rough hands on top of her head and between her shoulder blades. Just to rest her face against his chest and close her eyes and tell him... "I love you so much, Ander..." she wept. "I love you so, so much I can't even stand it. I've loved you since the very first moment you opened my cage in the middle of the night and damn near scared me to death. I've loved you since the very first words you spoke to me, so shy and concerned, asking me not to be afraid. I've loved you since the first time you touched me, to put honey on my ankle, so softly, so carefully. Even from that very first moment, you've done everything in your power to heal me, to protect me, to make me happy, and I adore you for that. I know it's wrong to keep asking so much of you, but... Ander... if you can't do this one last thing... if you can't protect me this one last time... then I ask you... I beg of you... Don't do it for me..." Kiana took a deep, burning breath and expelled it in a furious, tear choked scream:

---

Sorry for the sudden cut-off. I want to switch perspective for the next subchapter as the shout happens. It looks a bit weird like that, I know, but trust me, once this is all done and people don't have to wait for every new subchapter it'll work gangbusters.

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