Ander - Part 6: Subchapter 134
134
Nilia was being selfish. She knew this, but at the same time she couldn't turn away from it. She couldn't turn away from him.
She had fought through hell to reach this place. She had done everything Ander had asked of her. Was it really such a terrible sin to take just a few moments for herself? For the one who had saved her from herself?
Yes. Every moment she wasted here was another moment that Ander and Kiana simply did not have, but at the same time, Nilia knew she couldn't go out there again, not without settling this first. She had to remind him. Most of all, she had to remind herself.
She angrily wiped her eyes and made her way over to the corner, where Sarah was kneeling by Mateo's bedside, holding his hand.
She looked up as Nilia drew close and gave her a tired smile. "Miss Nilia. I'm glad to see you're well. I overheard you talking with Mellah. I can only hope Michael isn't being too much of a bother out there. He was never much of a woodsy Fox. Not like Mat here."
Nilia knelt down on the other side and stared blankly at Mateo's surprisingly fragile-looking form, a familiar mixture of anger and sadness slowly filling her up, making it difficult to breathe.
He seemed peaceful enough, but his head was bandaged up just like Rufio's, all around and around, with spots of blood shining through at the temples. A brownish stain had seeped into the pillow behind his ears.
"How is he?" she asked, scrunching up the bedsheets inside her fist without even realising it.
"He fell asleep right after you left. The twins say he got thrown into the mountainside not once, but twice, so I guess it's not too surprising. Bethany tells me his life is not in danger, but he might not wake up for a long while."
Nilia clenched her fist so tightly that her claws suddenly cut right through the sheets with a soft ripping noise. She extricated her fingers from the shreds with some difficulty, shaking in anger and frustration, dull heat rising in her cheeks.
Banno... If I get my hands on you...
A small frown appeared on Mateo's brow, as if he could feel her ire even in the depths of sleep.
Was he still trying to keep his promise, even now?
The tension in her fist simply bled away and her fingers unclenched, unfolding her hand into something softer, warmer. She ran her fingers through his hair, very slowly and delicately so as not to hurt him, and his frown slowly faded away. He slept on, his chest rising and falling. It was probably just her imagination, but if she looked at him from just the right angle, she could almost see the shy, crooked grin she had woken up to on that snowy morning not so long ago. She would give anything to see that smile again. Anything...
"Erm... Miss Nilia?" Sarah said, tilting her head in a very cautious, almost sheepish manner.
"We made many promises to each other before tonight," Nilia said. "I'd like to remind him of the important ones, if it's all right with you."
"Oh?" Sarah looked incredibly confused. Probably that bone-crushing hug was still fresh in her memory, and now this. "Um, yes, of course, let me just -"
She got up to leave, but Nilia reached over the bed and touched her shoulder. "It's all right, Sarah. You can stay. Actually, I think I'd prefer it if you did."
Sarah looked more confused than ever, but didn't try to ask any questions, even though there must be at least a dozen dancing on the tip of her tongue. All she did was wipe the wrinkles out of her dress and sit back down again, her hands neatly folded in her lap.
Nilia was glad she was here. This was Mateo's mother - Ander's, too - and she could feel a little bit of both of them in her mannerisms and speech. She had a subtle kind of strength about her, and it made Nilia feel like she didn't have anything to worry about, leaving Mateo in her care.
Nilia folded her arms across the bed and bent down a little closer to his ear. "Hey, Mat," she whispered, brushing the hair out of his face. "You promised me you'd feel all the bad feelings for me so I wouldn't have to. All my doubt, all my anger, all my sadness, all my pain. I thought you were just crazy at first, but somehow... you're actually doing it. Don't ask me how, but even now, when you're not even awake, I just... I feel better."
"He normally has the opposite effect on people," Sarah said with a smile. Then, remembering that this might be a semi-private moment between her son and his gigantic Wolven lady fried, she turned away a little, covering her face in embarrassment.
Nilia didn't mind, though. The softness of her words was a direct contradiction to this endless night of blood and fear. Her teasing smile, a stark contrast against the raging storm.
Nilia edged a little closer, so that her lips were almost brushing against Mateo's ear. "I'm still kind of mad at you. You nearly broke your promise, you dirty rat. You promised me you wouldn't die, and what do you do? You decide it's a good idea to go and have a tussle with Banno. I knew you were stupid, but that goes beyond imbecilic." She took a moment to gather her thoughts. "But... you didn't die. You're still alive, and so is your promise. For that, I thank you." She took his hand, not liking the way his fingers lay still in her palm. "I... I'm very sorry, Mat. I know it goes both ways. I have no right to be mad at you for nearly breaking your promise when I'm about to go and possibly break mine. That would make me the worst kind of hypocrite. All I can do is ask forgiveness when I -"
If I...
"- _when_I return. And don't for a second think I've forgotten about your other promise. About that secret hunting spot up in the mountains. The moment you get better, I expect you to take me on that trip, and it better be everything you said it was, otherwise I'll..."
She bowed her head and closed her hand over his, thinking about what such a trip would actually mean. It wouldn't be about the winding mountain trails or the excitement of a brand new set of tracks, or the babble of a river never before seen by Wolven eyes. It would be about all those things, of course, but they were secondary. What such a trip truly meant for her was a new starting point to a new life. Mateo could take her to a filthy bog out in the middle of the willy-wags for all she cared, and it would still be paradise on earth, mosquitos and leeches and all. Just as long as she was with him and he was with her.
Fresh new footprints leading down a brand new path, with no telling where they might end up.
It was something worth striving for. It was something worth fighting for.
"I have to go, Mat. But I'll make this promise again. I'll make it a hundred times if I have to. I will come back. Do you hear me? I will come back, no matter what."
She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, lingering ever so slightly.
I promise.
She took a long, shuddering breath and stood up, feeling more like herself for the first time in ages.
"Miss Nilia?" Sarah was looking up at her, her hands (which had been folded neatly up until a moment ago) wringing out the folds of her dress at a frantic pace, as if she were trying to twist a rope out of it. "I know this might be none of my business, so please forgive me if this is a private matter, I don't mean to pry, but if you don't mind me asking, what exactly is your... um, relationship with my son? You two seem to have gotten awfully close over the past few days."
Nilia was surprised by the question. It was something she had never really thought about until now. "To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. Mostly it just started out as a night of violent, nearly fatal sex, but since then it's turned into something else. It's difficult to explain."
Sarah's hands froze in place. Her eyes widened ever so slightly. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. She looked to her son, then to Nilia, then back to her son, then back to Nilia again.
Nilia bent down and -
*
- took her by the hand, this gigantic beast of a woman, with blood in her hair and dirt on her cheeks like war paint. This savage Wolfess with the kindest, warmest, most concerned eyes she had ever seen, shining in the dim firelight like molten emeralds.
"Will you look after him while I'm gone?" she asked, completely enveloping her hand.
Sarah nodded, totally speechless. She hadn't felt this flabbergasted since she crested that hill and saw Ander again for the first time in twenty-three years. This wasn't exactly the same thing, but she could feel that odd light-headedness creeping up on her, making the world sway alarmingly beneath her legs, like it wanted to buck her off like some ornery donkey.
Mateo found a girl? A girl who actually likes him? A girl who doesn't want to slap him in the face every time he opens his mouth? Miracles and wonders abound!
"Thank you, Sarah," Nilia said, straightening up, and damn was she tall! Certainly the tallest Wolfess Sarah had ever seen. "I feel a lot better now. Please take care, and stay safe. If all goes well, I'll be back before morning."
Those words were like a hard knock to the gut and Sarah finally found her voice again. "Back bef- Wait, you're not going out there to fight those ruffians, are you? You're hurt!"
But Nilia was already walking away, her head held high and her shoulders squared, not a shred of fear or doubt to be seen. It was as if she could not hear the terrible screams or the raging winds or see the flames throwing long tongues of light and shadow across the canvass skin of this tent. Either that, or it simply did not faze her. She was not content to take shelter when there was fighting to be done, and Sarah greatly admired her for that.
"Ooh, I _like_her!" Sarah said, giving her son a healthy bap on the shoulder. "You'd better not mess this up, Mat, because I swear you'll never be able to find another girl who can put up with all your nonsense!"
She leaned back and stifled a giggle at the image of Michael finding out that his one and only son had somehow bagged himself a savage Wolven girl roughly two heads taller than him, with wild, filthy hair and arms the size of tree limbs. Probably the first thing he'd do is invite her over for tea and crumpets so he can make some lewd jokes and poke Mat in the ribs, going, "Eh? Eh?"
She would like that.
Sarah took Mateo by the hand and said: "Well at least you're not pussyfooting around like Andrew and Kiana..."
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