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If you aren't mentally mature enough to read about various forms of sex, then go away. I don't care what your physical age is, if you're too repressed/undeveloped to be reading about sex, why are you here? This story not intended for use during operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation/communication systems, submarine vessels, nuclear weapons, sharp pointed objects, or any other hazardous activity in which failure could lead to death, injury, property damage, environmental damage or lawsuit. All natural; No preservatives; 98% Fatuity-free. Close cover when striking. Practice safe sex ... practice, practice, practice - until you get it right.

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Chapter Nine

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Bar, Bashing, Blackmail

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First Week, Autumn 2, Year 1580

It was a very quiet night at the Bar of Justice. There were only a few regulars and one new fem in. Birdy was chatting with David about how the Combat Team that David's young friend Samuel was on was doing. David had dropped to have a nip or two of his beloved MacOwlen whiskey before going home to supper and bed.

One of the regulars, a bear sitting at a back table, dressed in a warehousefurr's working clothes, called over to the bar: "Hey, Birdy, you still working or you taking a couple hours' break?"

"Just hold yer breath, ya barely-bearable bear," called back the bartender. That was greeted with simultaneous groans from everyone in the bar. "What do you want - another pitcher of beer?"

"Well, if it wouldn't be too much trouble for you ..."

"Don't be such a smartmouth - I might have to decide that you're drunk and look around for a law enforcer to take you away. Oh look, why, here's one right here - Strianach's a High Court Guard!"

"Leave me out of your fights, Birdy - I arrest no-one after hours," protested the grinning badger.

"Court Guards don't have jurisdiction in here, anyway, Birdy - I think this joint comes under the Public Sanitation Bureau," piped up a coyote. The others laughed. A big redwolf in an expensive business-tunic loudly suggested that Public Health might be more appropriate - the vermin exterminators. The others applauded that notion.

The indignant ostrich sputtered a moment, then drew himself up to his full height with dignity. "If that's true, then you pests are in the right spot."

There was a moment's silence as they sorted that out and figured out they'd been called vermin. When they did, there was a minor uproar as each tried to speak at once. There was no danger of a fight starting - this sort of mutual harassment was traditional and common here. Then the group at the tables quieted as David stood and walked over to where they were; he walked around the area, peering intently under the chairs and in the corners.

After a minute, the puzzled bear asked, "Strianach, what are you doing?"

"Ah, and a good evening to you, Treeloose. Your mate and cubs are well, I hope? I am looking for the pony." He circled them again, still peering about.

Treeloose sat silently for a minute, then had to ask. "What pony?"

"With all this manure around, there certainly must be a pony here someplace."

As the group loudly surrendered the verbal battle with heavy groaning, David returned to his barstool.

A young dalmatian wearing a form-fitting dark blue tunic cuffed and hemmed in dark green had been watching and listening. She looked down the length of the bar and said, "So you're another Courtsfurr? So am I. Just started last week."

Strianach smiled, recognizing the usual garb of administrative staff at the High Court. "Oh? What do you do? I have been there a little while now."

"I'm a court recorder. Or anyway I will be when I finish my training period and pass the qualifying exam."

"Oh my. I am impressed. Truly. I have watched you recorders at work. Amazing how you can keep all the different threads of a session straight."

"That's why our school's over a year long. We have to learn to accurately understand every sort of accent. You just wouldn't believe what some Lizards can do to Common. The way they hiss!" She giggled lightly. "If we just scribed what they say exactly, we'd run out of esses."

Strianach surreptitiously looked the beautiful, slender, black-and-white fem up and down. He mentally sighed. [Another look-but-no-touch. Ah well.] His gaze was drawn to the young dalmatian's eyes. They were huge. David inhaled deeply, having a momentary feeling of sinking happily into them, like a pool. He wondered what was so attractive about them, then suddenly realized that they were the same lovely shade as the finest stout.

Then he jumped slightly - she rose from her barstool gracefully as a flowing stream, and walked down to take one by the surprised badger. "One thing that I've already learned - it helps a lot to make friends where you work," she said. "My name's White. Darnata White."

As she approached, he quickly gathered his wits from wherever they'd drifted to, stood and bowed slightly. Pulling a barstool out for her to use, he introduced himself. "Pleased I am to meet you, Sera. I am David Strianach. As you heard from that clattering beak, I am indeed one of the Court Guards. The lowliest and most junior, true, but still a Guard."

They sat at the bar, chatting about their homes and the various eccentricities of people who worked for the Court.

"Have you ever tried to talk to the Head of Records?" asked Sera White.

"Of course I have - I had to speak with that estimable ovine fem when I was applying for my position, and again a few times afterward."

"No, I mean talk to her - have a conversation."

"Ah. Well, yes - my place is at the entry, do you see, and I have many an occasion to consult with her as to the proper office an enquirant should be directed to. A very knowledgeable individual, most dedicated to her work, in my opinion."

"Perhaps too dedicated for her health - she will just never tell the Head of Administration 'no' when anyone says something more should be done with the records. Can you believe it? Now, someone has conceived the brilliant idea that all the old case-files should be re-done into modern format and bound into reference indices! As if all the clerks aren't already doing everything that can possibly be done in a day!"

David tsked sympathetically, resting his chin on his hand, the better to admire the entrancing way her ears flick-flopped about as she talked. This was a very energetic young fem!

She went on, "But my point is - I don't think she's capable of talking about anything but her files anymore. Don't you think that's a little frightening? To have nothing but your work for your life? No family, almost no friends ... nothing to look forward to with someone else."

Birdy idly listened to David and Darnata talking, and he smiled - he'd been getting worried about the old badger, but now it looked like Dave was feeling far younger than he actually was. Good.

It was a work-day tomorrow, so neither David nor Darnata stayed overly long at the bar. When David arrived at home, he was greeted at his door as usual by his beloved Bastet. Picking her up and scratching her ears, he asked, "Can you guess what happened today, little mistress? I shall tell you - I met the most charming fem."

Bastet, of course, wasn't the slightest bit interested - she squirmed loose, hopped down, and hurried over to her dish to await being served. He was LATE with her FOOD, and she loudly informed him of his failings. He apologized and quickly heated some ground meat for them both.

When David lay down on his hard bed that night - his old back injuries made it necessary for him to have something solid underneath to rest - he reached up and pushed the window by his head open for fresh air. Bastet hopped up in it and curled herself into her regular position for watching whatever might pass through the grounds.

He tossed and turned, rather than falling peacefully asleep, though. His mind kept coming back to the beautiful dalmatian. Finally, he growled at himself, gave up, sat up, lit the bedside lamp, and picked up a book to read. It was obvious that he wasn't going to easily doze off. Even the book didn't give him peace of mind, however. He kept having to go back and re-read passages; thoughts about Darnata seemed to be triggered by everything.

Bastet looked down at him from the windowsill and made a quiet mew. She knew something was wrong - the old badger was very much a creature of habit, which suited the little cat just fine; for him to fail to stick to his schedule bothered her. She hopped down from the window and curled up against his ribs, purring. When he put out the light and put his arm around her to go to sleep, she stretched her soft paws out, gripped his fingers, and snuggled tightly into her nest. The comforting purr from the affectionate Bastet soothed David enough that he finally dozed off.

~=~

Second Week, Autumn 2, Year 1580

Gordon and Rayo sat comfortably on the porch swing at her home. It was a nice cool late afternoon in the Autumn, and Rayo's mother and father were fixing supper. Gordon had been trying to have a conversation with Rayo for a while, but it was as though she only heard about every third thing he said. Gordon peered at her face. He could tell that she was greatly distracted by something. "What's the matter, sweetheart?"

She sighed deeply. "I won't be able to see you as much. I need to find a job - one for evenings or weekends."

He blinked. "Is that all? Well, let's get one together."

Now smiling, she shook her head. "Gordon, is there anything, anything at all, that you won't try to fix with a head-on assault? What makes you think that anyone will want to hire both of us to work at the same place at the same time?"

"Um ... because we come as a matched set?"

"What - like spice shakers? You're salt and I'm pepper?"

Incautiously, he responded, "Well, you're as hot as a red pepper -"

He really should've made sure that he was out of her reach before he said that. Her elbow sank into his midriff, then her dark-rose tail looped around his ankles, and he found himself flat on his back on the floor, gasping for air. He peered up at her where she knelt on his ribs. "Er, what, you don't like peppers ...?"

"I'll pepper YOU, you big, big - OOH! How DARE you call me a vegetable!?"

Gordon wanted to defend himself, but he couldn't manage any words - every time that he started to get one out of his mouth, Rayo would bounce. Even as she seemed to be doing her best to cave his chest in with her knees, he was distracted by the beautiful view of her over him. Her skirt fluttered wildly with each bounce.

Kairng Rairng came to the door, wondering what all the noise on his porch was. Gordon saw him, and tried to stop the assault by reaching up and grabbing Rayo's waist. Holding her suspended at stiff-arm's length above him, he piteously appealed for aid from her father.

"Hm. Get between Rayo and something that she wants to break ... nope," said the big siamese dryly, turning and going back into the house.

"Agh! Rayo! Rayo, my sweet! Rayo, my heart's darling! Rayo, my beloved! Let me up! Please?"

"You sorry that you called me a vegetable?"

"But, but I didn't! I just - OW! FOR ALL'S SAKE, WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"

Rayo, unable to get her knees back down to his chest, had opted to plant her feet firmly on his crotch. "You sorry yet?" She balanced there, rocking gently on her toes.

"I give! I give! I'm sorry I said it. I'm sorry I thought it. I'm sorry for anything and everything I might possibly have maybe said ... ever. Now will you please get off of me?"

She giggled and went limp in his paws. He managed to stand up, still holding her. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Later, after dinner, Gordon found the opportunity to ask Kairng just what it was that he'd done that was so terrible ... and to ask why Kairng wouldn't help him.

"Gordon, my dear innocent young tiger - she's the first siamese that you've ever known, isn't she?"

"Well, yes."

"Heh. Ever had a femfriend before? You haven't, have you? Didn't you partner up with Lightning when you were both fourteen or fifteen?"

'Er, yes ser ... but so what?"

Kairng looked around to make certain that his mate wasn't within earshot. "Ah. Take it from me - the fems of my breed are a thousand times fiercer than the mels. I've been bonded to one for twenty-five years. I'm half-again her size. Even so ... You'll notice that I'm still alive and whole? I learned very early on how to say, 'yes dear I'm sorry dear I'll never do it again dear.' Take my advice - learn that. Quickly." Kairng shuddered slightly. "I've only ever seen one mel who actually enraged a siamese fem. Or rather I should say that I've seen what was left of him when she finished with him ..."

~=~

It was lunchtime at Furmore High School. Gordon and Samuel were by themselves at a table for a change. Rayo Mairo had a different lunch period this week and Lightning Darke, of course, was still avoiding Gordon.

Gordon sighed with relief when he saw that the squirrel pair were fully preoccupied at a table on the far side of the room. He saw that they were sitting as tightly tucked up against a small skunk as they could get, and idly wondered. He didn't give them very much consideration, though, as he needed to talk seriously with Samuel.

"Samuel, I need a favor," Gordon said to the little tod.

"Huh? Sure, Gordon - what can I do for you?"

"We, Rayo and I, need weekend jobs. Isaac might know of something - we want to work together, of course. Would you ask him for us?"

"Hmm ... what's it worth to you?"

"What!? What do you mean?"

Samuel's eyes sparkled. At last, at long last, he had leverage on his snowtiger friend! "No. More. Squeezing." He bounced in his seat, his huge tail whipping back and forth. This was wonderful! At last!

"Oh. But I like to hug you - I like it a LOT. You're so fluffy and little and cute and little and squeaky and little and cuddly and ..."

"Don't care. That's what my help will cost you. No more squeezing. That and you NEVER slurp my ears again!" Samuel hugged himself in delight.

Gordon grumbled a bit, but both of them knew he'd agree.

~=~

When Samuel got home, he told Isaac at supper about Gordon's request. Isaac didn't know off-hand of any open jobs for a pair like that, but agreed to ask around. The next evening, as he was out for his regular evening run while Samuel was at Combat Team practice, he spied David Strianach approaching. He waited for the badger to come up to him.

David spoke first, as was usual with them. "And how is yer lynxship this evening? The Lands remain safe and protected, even with you on the ground?"

"Oh, completely safe, old fish-chaser. They're in the good, flying paws of our airshipfurrs." He made his usual sweeping bow.

David smiled. Isaac had always had that effect on him.

"David, have you heard of any jobs open for students? Gordon MacIntyger - you know him, don't you? - and his fem, Rayo, need to find work for weekends."

"Oh yes - indeed I know him. I have watched him ever since he first came to town and partnered with Lightning Darke. All my clothes have come from Ser Darke's store ever since I returned here after leaving the Navy. Lightning has always called me 'Uncle' and I feel like he is one of my own. Gordon now - it is in my mind that he has a talent for office work, having taken school courses that would be useful for that."

"Yes?"

"Well, Darnata was telling me that the Court Records Bureau needs some old records cleaned out - files from years ago need to be sorted out, duplicates removed, summaries put where they belong, that sort of thing. Not terribly hard work, but tedious, and the regular staff in Administration simply do not have enough extra paws to get to it."

"Would there be a place for two young, intelligent, willing-to-work-hard furrs?"

"I will be pleased to give young Ser MacIntyger and young Sera Mairo an introduction. We shall see if something comes of that. You do understand that this is not a permanent job?"

"That's fine - they can do this and, when it's done, move on to another." Isaac laughed. "You remember what it was like when we were that age - it didn't seem like anything was permanent. Um. You can remember back that far ...?"

"Isaac, have I ever shown to you the fine lynx-hide rug in my home?"

Isaac blinked. "Huh? Why, no ... the WHAT?"

"That is because it is not there ... yet."

The two old friends parted, chuckling.

~=~

Third Week, Autumn 2, Year 1580

"Ah, Sera White. Your carriage awaits you at the curb." David was dressed in his finest kilt and Montrose dress jacket. He'd polished his boots until they could be used for mirrors. His Glengarry was freshly cleaned - the silver Naval Engineer badge on it gleamed perfectly. It should, he'd spent fifteen minutes on it with brush, polishing paste and soft cloth. He had even, with many misgivings, put himself in the hands of a respected barber for a complete trimming.

He'd been looking forward to this evening for a week. He and Darnata had fallen into the habit of having their lunches together; they'd even stopped at a restaurant for a quick meal after work twice. But he hadn't taken her out on a formal occasion yet. When he heard that The Taming of the Shrew was being presented in-the-round by the Capitol Theater Association, he'd screwed his courage to the max and asked her to attend it with him.

Darnata's deep-brown eyes widened when she saw him, but no more than did his. He had intended to say something else, but completely forgot whatever it was when he looked at the cream-and-black vision. She'd dressed very simply - a sheathe-dress of the same shade of brown as her eyes. The cloth of the dress had a faint weaving of gold threads through it - not enough to really be noticed, but enough to make glimmers flow across it as she moved. She wore a cream-colored lace shawl about her shoulders; her sandals and shoulderbag matched the shawl. Darnata didn't care for long hair, but she'd had it done for the evening.

She stepped from her door past the stupefied badger, and looked out at the street. "Why, David, it IS a carriage!"

A gleamingly-enameled open dark-blue carriage stood at the end of the walk. There were softly-glowing brass oil-lanterns suspended at each corner of the carriage. Although not needed right now, there was an accordianed-back cloth top folded into the rear. The cushioned wheels were the antique spoked sort with gilt embossings on the spokes. The near door stood wide open, and a fold-down set of steps stood ready for use. The upholstery appeared to be cloth-of-gold.

The gigantic Percheron mels (dressed in identical tunics of the same shade of dark blue as the carriage enamel) at the shaft of the old-fashioned carriage smiled broadly at her, and made what bows they could, strapped into the harness as they were. One said, "Indeed, sera. Delighted we are to be making your acquaintance. And absolutely delighted it is that we are to be having the honor of transporting such an entrancing vision of loveliness on this happy evening."

Then the other said, "When Ser Strianach engaged our carriage service for tonight, he told us that we would be carrying the most beautiful fem in all of Capitol City. He, sadly, must now be forever ashamed of himself - he lied. It is blindingly obvious to both me (I'm Sean) and my brother Padraig here that the fact of the matter is that we shall be carrying the most beautiful fem in all of the Council Lands!"

David had recovered his wits while the equinoids spoke. He glared at Sean. "Are you possibly trying to steal my beautiful fem away from me, you reprobate? Will it be necessary for me to remind you both of your mates? And the small herd of offspring you have?"

Darnata laughed delightedly. "David, dear, don't be cruel to them. They are charming."

He cleared his throat. "Harumph. Charming. That would be the first time I have ever heard that term applied to these two, and I have known them for rather a long time. Come, my dear, allow me to assist you into the carriage. We do not want to be late for the play."

Badger

Character Development

Dalmatian

Fox

Humor

Love

No-Yiff

Siamese Cat

Story Progression

Tiger