Sapphire Transition Chapter 6
A transitioning period.
Strange. Layne could feel sleep taking hold, her mind fading away into rest, and yet it felt more as if she were in a waking dream stuck floating in water, pressure holding her down beneath the surface. In this odd thing she decided was a dream, she could feel herself being pulled further under, or perhaps she was simply sinking. As she either sank or was pulled deeper into whatever she was in, her thoughts began to turn by themselves to her home, not her family, but her home on the hill covered in herbs and flowers. She had always loved it there, it was peaceful, it was secure, it had given her so much even during those first few years where she had struggled to make a living. It had given her a place away from her family and a place where she could start anew. Everyone looked at her with those same eyes, though, pity and morbid curiosity fused into one. Why would the child of an affluent clan, an affluent species be out there in the wilds wasting her time, when she could be at home in the lap of luxury? They all never said the words, they wouldn't dare do it, but they all thought it. Even when she was older and actually making a name for herself with her potions, with her store, they all had those same eyes. Even if their curiosity had faded over the years, she couldn't shake it off entirely. She hated it and hated the blue rings upon her wrists and ankles that marked as something different from a garden variety feline. What did it mean to be a Lunar Feline other than the fact that she had tacked on expectations and the mark of an exile wherever she traveled without her family? Layne just wanted to curl in on herself and sleep, and in that thought she found a cold solace that began to push her deeper into the murky depths of that dream, and as she sunk she found the cold comforting, as it numbed her mind, her senses, she would be at peace soon enough.
"Are you really only that and that alone?" Came a voice that echoed in the water, "Do you have no will? No desire to live? Will you allow your family to truly hold you down? If so, I do not mind claiming another."
That strange voice that seemed so familiar and yet so foreign, it pierced through the cold and made her ears twitch. She wasn't sure what to make of it, but it sounded so taunting, so annoying, enough to make her want to answer right back with a fist. Opening her eyes she found herself entirely in darkness, submerged in an ocean of ink-like dredge. Dreams were a strange thing, she had never had this sort of nightmare before. She found herself struggling then to rise rather than fall, she could feel a spot of warmth from above that made her remember she hated the cold. She hated it because her home was warm, she loved the warmth, the flowers and the people she had met who had looked past her birth. She didn't want to be brought into the cold anymore. Layne began to surface slowly, ever so slowly, and there she was forced to remember her family again, her family again and again always entered her memories no matter how many times she had escaped them, and yet, there was one family member that always brought a bit of a smile to her life, she could at least remember him with some fondness. Nicolas, her cousin, was the one who took her away from that foul place, who had put her up in that village and on that hill. He had helped fund her store and get her started with everything, he had even acknowledged her as what she desired to be rather than what she had been born as. She wanted to see him again, wanted to show him that she was big and strong now. He wouldn't have a reason to worry if Layne was strong enough to live without him being there, she could even afford a home all on her own. Layne knew that she loved him far too much and cared for what he thought just as much, but even then, she could never allow herself to be brought back to her family's home by anyone, not even him. Would they even care to see her again?
At the same time, it was strange, Layne felt an odd yearning, she wanted so badly to at the very least see her mother again and tell her that she was sorry, for causing her so much trouble, and then again, why was she sorry? Her mother never helped, her mother only stood silently behind her own husband, watching Layne as a child suffer, and yet there was such a deep sadness in the purple abyss of her mother's eyes, a sadness that her own blue had reflected, but she had fought where her mother had not. She had fought from the very first day to escape that hell, to escape the abyss and bring herself above that hateful place. If she would go back, she would go back to hug her mother and tell her she could fight too, maybe that would be nice. What could they really do if she decided to do that? They could do nothing, nothing but watch and gawk as she held her mother, as she talked to her mother. Nicolas would be there too if she asked, and so would her father, but what did that matter? Her father had already burned the bridge between them and she planned to keep it that way, who needed him anyway?
Layne could feel herself rising further, the warmth touching beneath her fur, her eyes focusing on light that suddenly surfaced from out of nowhere. She felt wires upon her body, puppet strings feeling over her form, but she refused to be held and continued moving on. Those wires writhed and twisted as they tried to latch upon her, but she was above that, she was above sinking into depression and allowing herself to fall under a numb spell, she would rise again.
"Better." Came the voice, "Now live by your own rules. Punch your dad in the face for me by the way. He sounds awful."
The last thing Layne could remember was thinking of how odd that voice sounded, stranger and powerful and yet so candid, it did not matter, she would wake soon enough, she could feel it, she would survive, holding onto that yearning to see her mother again.