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Astor lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. A silence hung in the room as the young girl looked at him worriedly. Astor sighed quietly. "you wish so terribly to know about me. Why I have become the monster that I so am."

Irina leaned up to him and parted the hair from his face. "I want to know why you hurt so much...Who would treat you like a caged beast..." She spoke genuinely.

Astor closed his eyes, soothed by the most gentle and nurturing touch of the young woman. "I was not always so broken. Once upon a time ago I was innocent to the world, much like you." He stated coldly. "Then it all came crashing down, a cold slap of cruel harsh reality. That, that being different was taboo. That your appearance means so much more than what you feel or how you speak!" His words were sharp like a razors edge.

The young girl did not falter listening to him. "The world is not a nice place from what I've noticed. The girls at school can be quite mean." She mentioned.

Astor nodded his head quietly. "I feel as if I owe you this much at least, you've asked time and again about my...Disfigurement. They are why I am a monster. Why I've become who I am today."

"Who?" She asked seldomly.

"When I was a little boy. I had what I thought was a fairly normal life, I had a mother and a father like anyone else. Mother was a nurse, and my father was a factory worker. We weren't the wealthiest out there, and yet we weren't living in poverty. My mother was much like you, she was a shepherd." He said starting to open up to her slowly.

Irina's tail wagged listening to him. Her hand gently rubbing his chest listening to his tale.

"Mother and I were always very close, she seemed to have a very special bond. Perhaps it was because we spent nine months together in utero, what ever it was she seemed to be the one that was more understanding. More...Accepting I should say." He murmured.

"Father was always very demeaning. He would go out of his way to knock me over, treated me like I wasn't even his child. Like I was adopted. When I was old enough to understand that I was different. My father was human, and I not only gained my father's dominant traits, I gained a loathing for myself as time rolled on." He continued.

Irina looked at him sadly listening to his tale. "You're not a monster Astor..." She murmured.

"I was five when I learned of my father's true disdain for me. He would call me names like 'mutt, or maggot, the one that always hurt the most was when he called me freak." His words seeming to grow colder. "He would beat my mother..." He mentioned. "The first time I saw him hitting her I rushed in to protect her. He wasted no time to think on whether or not to hit her, let alone his own flesh and blood. The man punched me right in the mouth..."

"My mother was always protecting me, because of that drunkard, he hated my mother...But he despised me. Because of me he couldn't couldn't further his career in life because he had a child.

Irina's eyes widened in horror. "Goodness...I am sorry..." She uttered. Astor shook his head quietly. Her hands reaching up to his face rubbing his cheek softly, his hand gently clutched her hand. The pain was apparent in his eyes as he spoke to her.

"Mother would always sing to me when I was a little boy, father always saw her as coddling me. "Why do you always baby him, he'll never make it very far if you keep that up." He muttered. "He never actually believed in me. Then IT. Happened." He trailed off.

It?" She dared to ask.

Astor closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "My mother got into a terrible argument with my father; I mean they argued a lot when I was young but this one was a real show stopper." He relived.

"What were they arguing about?" She asked

"My father was having an affair, with a woman he worked with at the steel mill. My mother caught wind of his infidelity and confronted him one evening. The fighting got heated; I was so young. I hid in the closet as I watched the two bicker angrily, showing such vulgar words at each other until my father." He pursed his lips, his eyes unwavering still staring up at the ceiling. A small tear welling up in his eyes. "It was so vivid. 'I've had enough of your shit. I'm tired of you and that freak of yours!'" Astor raised his voice as if he were reliving it. "He took the fire poker from the fireplace,

'You leave him alone!' my mother tried her best to defend me."

"'where is that freak' my father would keep saying, like a nail in the back of my head over and over and over again..." Irina's hands trembled taking his in her own. "He struck my mother." The tears rolled down his face. "Over and over again, the crying and the sounds of pure unbridled hatred." His voice softened.

Irina looked to him with tears in her eyes looking to him with such pain. "Astor...I..." She mumbled, taking his head into her lap.

"That was the last time I had ever seen him. He left a little boy of six years old to call an ambulance for his mother while she bled out on your home." He paused. "By the time the paramedics came she was already gone, a little boy holding his mother's hemorrhaging head in his lap trying to help keep her alive while they arrived."

His voice cracked. "I was brought to a foster home after some time in processing. No one wanted someone like me. A freak like me." He said quietly, his eyes closing tightly. The woman that sunk her claws into me went by the name of Darlene."

Irina looked at him curiously. "What do you mean? Didn't your father do this?" She asked him, the hybrid merely shook his head.

"He was the ball that was set in motion that broke me so emotionally. But her...She's what made me what I look like today." He uttered.

"When I was taken into her care, it was nice for the first few days. I was fed well given new clothes, but when the visits stopped from the agency it was like someone turned off the light...And the monster came out to play." He murmured.

"She would scratch me, she would hit me. That human woman would put cigarettes out on my body. There were times I prayed for death's sweet embrace...To be taken to be with my mother. The only thing I had left of mother was my globe... If it weren't for her I would probably have left this world a long time ago..." He bit his lip hard. Trying his best to pull himself back.

Irina stroked his hair gently, "You poor soul..." She whispered softly.

"Sometimes I didn't know whether I would be eating or not...For eight long years I put up with this...Eight long miserable years of being cut in places that could be hidden, bruised where my teachers wouldn't see. Being called a freak! Because I'm neither human nor anthro. A monstrosity stuck in between..." He pained to say.

"Eight years...?" She asked.

"It was eight years before I filed for a legal emancipation to become my own guardian. I fought for months with the courts about it, taking verbal backlash from Darlene as well as physical lashes for my defiance. On October twelfth, that was the day my life finally began. I was emancipated and given my life to start as my own person. But to start things off with nothing was just as hard as living in the treacherous arms of that accursed woman." He spoke up.

"I had to drop out of school to get a job at such a young age. I had the government helping me stay alive until I could stand on my own two feet. I started my own business when I was sixteen, I started a tailoring business, making a little change here and there. It started a snowball effect though, I started learning about making clothing, and I started creating my own type of fashion, taking tabs on ancient styles. Apparently it was a large hit over in eastern countries, to dress much like the Goth Victorian style. I started with making simple accessories like cravats and bows and it seemed to pay bills." The hybrid looked up at Irina and gave her a soft smile, seeming to come around at last.

"I built my way to the top my dear. In several years I had become a successful business man, but that didn't stop my unquenchable desire for knowledge. I lost out on a lot of things in my life, friends, lovers, family. I essentially became friends with my workers because they are all I've had." He said quietly. "I sought after everything, I perfected my writing, I learned of history, math, economy. I read everything I could get my hands on." He slowly shone a smile.

Irina stroked his hair and looked down at him smiling. "Thank you. For talking to me. I know it must've been hard... To relive and reopen those old wounds but I hope it helped you a little bit." She leaned down kissing his forehead.

"I am sorry... Truly I am sorry for how I acted... I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me..." He murmured.