A Taste of Something Else ~ Chapter 8
T-t-t-tap. T-t-t-tap. My own fingers drumming relentlessly against the desk, claws tapping against the hard surface, while my other paw remained against the side of my chin to hold my head up. Whatever the professor had been talking about for the past twenty minutes, I hadn't been able to follow: my discarded pen lay forgotten atop the notebook I'd gotten out at the start of class, opened to a fresh page that still bore no ink.
Friday. At least it was Friday, I kept telling myself. After this (and two more classes) I could call someone up for a ride, get home, throw my backpack and other school things in the same corner of the room where they'd remain until Sunday evening, and then... what? What was there to do on a Friday afternoon? William might invite himself over, just like almost every other Friday...
The power had returned sometime overnight. The thing to wake me up this morning... earlier in the night, I don't know when, it had been a low, playful growl in my ear and an adventurous paw tracing down my front, rubbing and squeezing at me, stroking until I had to bite my own lip to keep from moaning out in climax - and _then_my phone's alarm, some number of hours later.
By the time I'd managed to rouse myself to my feet to brush my teeth, the rain had rolled back somewhat, but could still be heard against every window in the house. After flicking on the bathroom light, my own face in the mirror startled me, so I spent another few minutes brushing and combing my fur, trying to get all the rebellious locks and licks to remain down, mostly unsuccessfully.
Something I'd noticed, too: on the counter there was my toothbrush and toothpaste, then Harley's, a basic orange toothbrush and then a tube of citrus-flavored toothpaste, beside the little bag of things he'd brought with him. Funny thing to pack if he hadn't intended to stay the night, and only accidentally forgot to ask for a ride home until too late. These things weren't what caught my attention, though - it was the small orange pill bottle that did. Sure, it was none of my business. I had no right to pick it up and look. But, then, curiosity isn't necessarily a beast easily slain.
I reached down, picked up my pen, and drew it back and forth across the page until it actually left a mark... and, then, I placed it right back down. God help me if I were to try to remember how to spell it, but - it was prescribed medication, Harley's name vertical along the label and, below that, chronic anxiety and panic suppressant. Take once daily with water. Color me surprised. Before I could put too much thought into it, however, that same coyote had drowsily peeked his head around the bathroom door - "oh, good, you're not peeing" - and entered, still wearing those otter-print pajamas. Though he looked like he'd left half his consciousness buried under my covers, a gentle smile lifted the corners of his lips.
I'd already resolved to sit way in back in every class I had today. Arm having gotten tired with supporting the weight of my head, I rested my chin down against my notebook and dropped both of my paws into my lap, where my phone rested. Because of last night's power outage, I hadn't been able to charge it, so it currently sat at a fairly unhappy 23%... and it wasn't even eleven AM yet. God, was I tired.
Strange thing, too, considering how soundly I'd slept...
Of course I'd been aware of the heavy arm draped across my body through the night. Of course I'd been aware of Harley's scent wafting around the room and tickling at my nose; of course I'd been aware of the heat of his body, of his breath washing gently out over the back of my neck... and then, also of the hot firmness of his morning wood nestled under my tail, tempting me yet again. Underneath all of this, though, there had still remained that lingering guilt and knowledge of hey, I shouldn't be doing this, but... weak enough to be easily ignored.
Not so much now. Memories of last night consumed my mind, caused me to constantly pick at the fur on my chin and scratch at the same spot on my arm, turned from an annoyance of an itch into a burning, chafed wound. Mom had already left by the time Harley and I woke up, and then, it was another forty minutes before I'd called Alex for a ride; during this time, I couldn't figure out what to do. Usually I played a video game in the morning before class, but today, nothing interested me, nothing held my attention. I just got my things into my backpack and went and sat in front of my desktop, one paw on the mouse but not moving or doing anything.
Some time later, Harley had come up behind me, rested his paws on my shoulders, and then leaned over to place his chin atop my muzzle. "I'm gonna take a shower," he purred, fingers squeezing gently. "Want to join me?" - and I choked on my words, something between a sure and a no, I shouldn't, ending up in me giving a halfhearted 'you go ahead'.
Even so... I couldn't just ignore the rest of what had happened between the two of us. Some regret, some guilt now, sure, but last night, amid all of that panting and moaning and squirming... God, it felt damn good. Even better than I'd expected, which was really saying something. The way Harley touched me, the way his breath trickled across my fur and skin, how he kept his muzzle close to mine when he could, how it felt like he wanted me to feel at least as good as he did. _That_was nice. Even now, despite myself, that same sweet affection bubbled up in my chest while remembering it.
All around me, the other students started to get their things together and stand up. Class must have been dismissed, then; I was soon to follow, not even bothering to throw my notebook back into my bag. If I focused, I could still just barely pick up Harley's scent on my own fur and clothing, even beneath all the other myriad aromas and scents of a college campus on Friday morning. Less people today than any other day of the week, but still more than I found myself comfortable around, especially with what currently burdened my thoughts.
Five text messages through the night, three or four received while still awake - I don't know. At first William asked where I was and what I was doing; then he asked if I was free for hanging out; and then his third had been something along the lines of "oh, i guess you're busy..... never mind then, talk to you later.... love you". I hadn't yet responded to him today, because I knew very well he'd ignore whatever it was I had to say to him and instead go straight to repeating his initial question from last night. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened.
The fourth message had been from someone else, an old friend of mine from high school who now went to a different college. Nothing important, really - just asking if I'd heard about the recently-announced next chapter in a game series the both of us followed (of course I had). He and I had been chatting about that and other things on-and-off throughout the morning so far, as we usually did once every few weeks; we hardly ever spoke about anything not related to games or music, and that's what held me back about mentioning my current predicament to him. I wanted - needed, almost - to speak with someone about it, about whether I'd made the right choice, but...
...if you haven't figured it out yet, my circle of friends is a bit restricted. There's William, Alex, now Harley, and two others, one of whom... I share my last class of the day on Fridays with. That would be at two PM, a few hours from now; on my way out the door and into the warmish midmorning air, I brought my phone out to send her a text - "hey, there's something I wanna talk to you about - you gonna be in class today?"
At least it was nice outside. The clouds had just started to break apart, showing smooth, easy blue between their lumpy grey with silver-white borders, brighter near where the sun hid. The rain had decided to stop about halfway to our arrival on campus, thankfully; even though I'd looked at my umbrella before leaving the house, I'd still forgotten to bring it with me. Harley had just showered, too, so God knows he wouldn't have wanted his fur messed up. In fact, Alex even commented on that - damn, Harley, you look like you slept well... the hell did you guys do last night?
"Oh, well," the coyote had responded from the back seat. He reached forward and rubbed my arm. "Nothing special. It's just nice to have some time off with friends every now and then, you know?"
My phone buzzed in my paw: Oh! Yeah, sure. Since I had you help me out last time, I guess I owe you one, huh? Everything alright?
As if there wasn't already enough on my mind - now I had to repeated glance between my phone screen and the path in front of me, to keep from bumping into someone as happened so often. Sure, I could just let it wait until I got to my next class, but... "Yeah. I'd just prefer your help over anyone else's."
Last week, she'd asked for my help in mediating a dispute between her and her ex-girlfriend, and I did what I could. Of course I sided with her rather than her ex, after hearing so many stories and tales... and it was a stupid argument, anyway. I probably wasn't hearing both sides of it - in fact, I knew I wasn't - but, still. Two weeks before that, she'd also asked for my help, though that time in making the decision of whether to break up or not.
See how that went.
Big rock or little rock?
That brought a smile to my face, and I almost ended up banging my shoulder into a rather tall bull on his way around a corner. She and I have actually been friends since middle school, and often went to each other for help; that was kind of a thing between us, where one would mention they had a problem, and the other would respond with that. I forget where it comes from. I lifted my gaze one more time before starting my reply: "I think this time it would be better to go with a snowball analogy. And it's starting out pretty big."
Her next message didn't come in until after I'd made my way to my next class, in an entirely separate building on campus. Just like I said I would, I took one of the seats in the far back row of the room.
Ohh. Well, I think last week the professor said we'll be working on our projects today - so you and I can talk things out over that...
Projects. My heart jumped into my throat. At the beginning of history class on Monday, the professor had mentioned that we'd be doing a partner project... I hadn't been paying attention that day, so of course I didn't put it together until _after_that that meant Harley would likely be my partner, as we'd been put together to discuss the lecture for that day. I hadn't taken any notes, either; Monday-Wednesday class, which was why we went our separate ways after Alex dropped us off. But I couldn't afford to shoulder a bad grade in that class, and Harley probably wouldn't take responsibility over the thing...
That meant I'd have to invite him back over sometime soon. Maybe it could wait until Monday; since I hadn't written anything down, I had no idea when that project was due, or when we'd have to start working on it. God knows how well I'd be able to _focus_with that damn coyote so close to me.
The rest of the class gradually filtered in, even though I'd taken my time in getting here... and soon I found myself yet again mired in a room full of people I didn't know, being taught something that I couldn't bother to care about today... at least the load on my mind had been lightened somewhat.
Though, every time my thoughts returned to it, I could feel that weight bearing me down just as heavily as before.