Chapter 9
Chapter 9.
Memory: Maybe a dream... maybe not.
Flicker, static, jumble of colors. Intense brightness, then fading, like a camera turned away from being pointed at the sun. A furry white hand waves at me, dark pads clearly outline the palm and fingertips. Someone's dog replaces the hand, and it grins.
That's a Siberian Husky.
The hand replaces the head, holding up a finger with a claw at the tip: wait.
I feel like I'm floating, motionless. I can't move, or even tell where my limbs are at. The silence is somehow deafening.
Another flicker, static, click , pop!
A thousand waves crash onto a shore, loud enough to make my vision shake, yet it doesn't. More silence.
"Hewwwooo." It's that Husky again, he's howling at me. Why are you howling at me?
"Iem nawt rowllin rat roo, Arrrri."
His eyes are blue, like sun bleached denim, and in them I can somehow sense humor and passion both, emotions I've never before seen in a dog. What is this? Where is my body, where am I? I must be dreaming...
"Heesh. No ream. You bied."
What? It's like he can talk...
"Bied. You bied!" I don't understand, bied?
His ears go flat and he looks away, muttering something that sounds like "old" and "English."
This is crazy!
"Download complete." Where did that just come from? It's a male voice, authoritative. "Initiating language feature."
"You died." The Husky stares at me.
I what? I can't speak, but-
"Stop. I can hear everything you think, so don't think too much. You died 600 years ago. You exist now, as pure data, running on a software program. My name is Zacharus, you can call me Zach."
Hah.
Hahah-ha.
Hahahahahah! What a crazy dream!
The camera zooms out, and I see... oh my fucking god. You're standing on your hind legs, you're huge! Oh, god, what is that, a costume? A costume with a sheath and balls? That's hilarious.
The husky, Zach, looks down at himself, and then back at me with his lips up in a snarl.
"You think I'm funny?** You're the one who killed yourself. Allergic to dogs? Didn't you know that? I have the autopsy report if you want to read it. Now that's** funny."
Uh.
"Feel foolish now , eh?" There is an intensity to that gaze which distracts me, and after a few moments I realize the implication. I draw a conclusion.
Whoa there.
I never actually tested for histamine. My suit... could it have triggered that?
This is either the strangest dream in the world, or...
I died.
And I'm just software now.
I actually died.
_ _ I feel completely unsure of what to say. What does someone say to this? Nothing, so I only stare at him for a full minute.
Waiting to wake up.
Hoping, beyond hope.
He stares right back.
Finally, he breaks the silence. "You died. Get over it, happened a long time ago. It's ok." He smiles big, "look at this." He, and boy is he , obviously a he , steps out of the way. Behind him, I can see a wolf stretched out on, he's a he too, his back... but like Zach, he has a human torso, human arms and hands, long legs-
Zach interrupts me, darting a look at the wolf's legs. "Those aren't long legs!" He points to the wolf's knees, "short enough to run on all four." He says this fact proudly.
Yeah , ok. This is beyond crazy. I'm arguing with a talking Husky about how long the legs are on a wolf with hands and a human torso... just wake up, Erick.
"Rhenthar. I'm a Rhenthar , and in a few minutes, so will you be." He points to the wolf, "that is you , Arrrick. Your name will be Keeemen." He speaks that second name sadly, shaking his muzzle. "You won't remember any of this for a very long time. By then, that will be the only name you have."
That... will be me? But, if I'm not going to remember any of this, why are we even talking? I'm not actually talking. I try to move my hands around, which seems to interrupt his response. This is so strange.
"It's not strange, you're strange!" He grins, "in all the right ways. My research shows, spending time staring at your next body helps ease into acceptance. Similar to, say, first five years of development as pup, being spoken to, read to, helps the brain develop. Make sense?"
Uh. Yeah? You're telling me... that's my body, my new body? Oh man, look, I'm so sorry I never went to church, I figured the bible was all bullshit. You're God, right?
Barking, howling, is that laughter? He's laughing at me!
"Yes, I'm laughing at you. I'm not god... like I said, this is future, we copied your mind, simple process, really. The original, is long dead. You're a copy, we download you into new body. But first, tell me what you see. Pay attention! Describe him."
He's... a wolf... um... this is all too much...
" Timber wolf. C'mon, Arrrick. Take it in, make the connections, and tell me what you see. I've waited so long to get your opinion!" His tail flits around as he talks, more like I'd expect from a cat than a dog. I look at the wolf beside him and truly see him for the first time.
He's... beautiful. That's the best word I can use to describe the creature I'm staring at. The long lines of contrasting fur, in a pattern so natural I'd never believe wolves weren't meant to walk on two legs.
I can see that he has a mostly white muzzle from the black lips down, long, black whiskers. There's brown fading to black between his eyes, which have white patches above them... dark orange right around them, like a mask, but it somehow looks right. Little black speckles in the fur below, almost like freckles. Gray stripes form around his neck, producing a "V" pattern pointing down. More V's on his stomach, I would guess they connect at his back to form a pyramid out of his shoulders. A sort of beige color starting on his throat, with brown going down his arms and legs. Like, um... cream pouring down his chest, headed between his legs. Geeze, his, uh... stuff...
" Your stuff! Continue..."
It, just, um. R eally stands out. What kind of clothing do Rhen... Rhenthar wear?
Zach wrinkles his muzzle. "Clothing? Why would we wear that when we're covered in fur?"
Oh, boy.
This is so crazy. I'll be naked all the time?
The brown, it ends above his... my... knees, elbows. Shiny black claws, they look sharp. His, uh... sheath and the fur on his balls is very light in color, wow this is so embarrassing. I can see yours is white, too, which leaves nothing to the imagination!
His tongue lolls, he pants while staring at me, then takes on a sly tone. "I know all about you, Arrrrick. I picked you very specifically. Don't be shy now. Just watch me, watch this, important."
He trails his claws through the wolf's... my... fur. And I can suddenly feel it! Ow! That hurts!
"Calibrating touch sensitivity." There's that deep voice again...
Zach pokes the wolf's, my- head. Ow. Ow!
"There's a computer in here, your wetware. Where voice coming from. Top of the line, couldn't do this without it. You're going to love it, Arrrick."
His claws trail down my neck, deeply through my fur, across my chest. The sensations map strangely, and if I wasn't watching, I couldn't tell where they were. But I can see it, and ow , hey, that burns! Now it's cold! So weird, he turns and looks at me again.
"Calibrating..." Can he hear that too?
More claws through my fur, producing an itch, scratchy, prickly. Down my stomach, oh. Oh! Oh... So... that's why dogs love their stomachs rubbed. That feels so good... erp. He has my sheath in his paw, he's squeezing, and that... feels... god I have to look away somehow, that feels so amazing, and I can feel an erection coming on. He pats it, and then digs into my thighs. Ow. Ow!
"Supposed to hurt," he licks his muzzle in concentration, trailing his claws down my legs and tickling my feet. Thick, leathery pads are on my toes, ahhh! Hey! I watch my leg spasm, it jerks away by reflex. "Good..." he mumbles, "stop! Need to prepare you. Reflexes normal, voluntary movement's a bitch. Could be very messy, your bladder and bowels are empty right now, for a reason, need to make it so you can't bite your tongue off..."
He picks up a bundle of shiny steel cable, with some flat straps mixed up in it. He slides it over my head, works a couple of loops over my mouth, my muzzle. It's cold, and he pulls it tight, I feel my teeth clench together. It's like a dog muzzle, but made of steel.
He flattens his ears and stares at me, the camera? "It is a muzzle. I'm going to transition you now. Don't panic. Will take a while just to open your eyes. I'll help you!"
His words get further and further apart, unsynced from his lip movements, I feel like I'm falling, sliding away, aaaaaaahhhh!
Darkness. Underwater sounds rising in pitch, up to a high hiss, and then beyond... I can hear crisp edges of noises I never even knew existed, they must be into the 25-40kHz ultrasonic range. Noises which echo in that range, all around me, then dull pain in my chest, building... building. A slow burn, I need to breathe.
"Quit trying to breathe, silly!" The volume is deafening, compared to earlier. "Relax, breathing is natural, quit trying!" I let go, my chest pulls in a sharp breath. So dark, I can't see! Where are my eyes?
Fingertips massage my eyelids, yes, there they are. Open, how do I open them? There, ugh, bright. I shut them, and open them again. It's all I can do, my back shudders, the platform I'm on is moving, I can feel it.
Zach stares down at me from up high, panting, he shuts his muzzle, cocking it this way and that with an intense stare from his bright blue eyes. Amusement and pleasure radiate from him in waves, he looks so excited.
"Try to get up." He crosses his arms and steps back. I still can't get over the fact that he's walking upright, balanced on his hind paws as if he were human. What will that feel like, I wonder?
Getting up at all doesn't feel like a good idea to me. But I'll try. Parts of me only flop around, and I feel pain, nothing works like it should, I'm bumping limbs into soft surfaces. Nothing works!
Where are my arms? Which one is my left leg! What the fuck is that smell!?! I pause, concentrating on the odor. It is immensely complicated, unraveling as I scrutinize it. I don't know what it is, but it's amazing.
Touch, on my right hand. I twitch it open, then closed. The same on my left, I see Zach leaning over me, and the smell is him. He touches my left leg, then my right, I twitch them all in response, things begin to make more sense, I feel like I have a body again!
But I just can't get over his scent, it's the most unique thing I've ever... not seen and not heard. The more I focus on it, the more it registers. I can tell that it means something, but precisely what, I don't know.
He rubs my stomach, I groan... there are my vocal cords. I can hardly help making noise from the feeling, it's so good.
"Up! C'mon, you can do it. Sit up." I tense my stomach muscles, twist my left arm up behind me and slowly prop myself up. I feel lightweight, and my hips are impossibly small. My spine feels boneless with its flexibility.
I feel... incredibly strong. Like I could lift a car.
I try to stare at Zach, but half of my vision is two strips of white fur with brown running down the center, whiskers sticking out at the sides, shiny black at the tip. My nose, my muzzle, shit... this is all canines can see? How am I supposed to see anything?
A clawed finger touches the top of my muzzle, pushing it down. Zach swings into my field of view. I tilt my muzzle up to look at him closer, and he vanishes again! He grips my muzzle and pulls it down once more, aiming it towards the floor. He points two claws at his eyes, then mine. He's laughing. I sit there, like a newborn infant, who has just learned to stand up. But, I'm not even standing yet.
Some part of me is hurting, now that I'm up. Above my butt, ow... ow... I shift around and reach back, grabbing something fluffy, and pull it out from under me, but it's attached above my butt, it's my tail! Oh, shit... so much to take in, I can move it... left and right. Up and down, natural as can be.
I feel cold, between my legs, and getting colder, uncomfortable. I look down and see pink, covered in fine red blood vessels, it's wet and shiny. My dick, staring up at me, poking out of my furry sheath by a couple of inches.
Yikes, why is it doing that? I'm not aroused, I reach down and grab my sheath, pulling up on it. It stays up, and warmth floods back into my dick, I look at Zach and grunt.
His tongue hangs out, amused. "Ipe." Um. I don't understand, I shake my head. "Ipe," he says again. More headshakes. "I P E. Ipe. Involuntary penile extrusion. You're a big boy, most times you sit like that, it happens. You fixed it the right way. Get used to it, your penis is an internal organ, now." He grins, "why don't you check it out..." He gestures down between my legs.
I'm male, of course I want to check out my stuff, I feel all kinds of mixed emotions over the fact that it looks nothing like what I'm used to. I stare down at my sheath and grip it, but this time I'm careful of my claws, they're about a half inch long and look pretty damn sharp. They don't retract, so I'm cautious... I squeeze it, sliding it down smoothly. It feels like I'm erect, but I'm not... my penis doesn't feel flexible at all. I wonder how I'm supposed to pee without hitting my muzzle. My sheath feels slippery inside, and I squeeze it, down and up. Doesn't feel like much... about as erotic as scratching my elbow. I look at Zach, worried, confused, am I broken? Is it because I used to be human? But he made it sure feel good a moment ago, so I keep fiddling with it in an attempt to figure things out. I don't make any progress.
"Awww! May I show you?" I nod. He reaches down and carefully grips my sheath, way down low at the base; he gives it a couple of tugs. Waves of sensation shoot straight into my brain, almost visual in intensity, my hips buck all on their own, something clear sprays up at my muzzle in a thin jet. It smells insanely interesting, and some of the pleasure remains, building... like the hottest erection I've ever had. It builds in pulses, waves... I glance down in shock, watching my sheath slide down, with two bulges filling out at the base, I feel ridiculous pride at how big I'm growing. The area above where he gripped is my knot, I know what that is, I've researched canine genitalia, among all my other research and development, for canine genetics, my creations.
I just... never thought I would know what this felt like.
It feels... fucking amazing. I wipe some of the stuff off my muzzle, onto my paw, then grab the steel cable at the front, looking at Zach.
He reaches forward and fiddles with the cable, it loosens, then he pulls it off. I feel something on the top of my head catch, and I reach up to what it was, feeling my ears. They're thin and pliable, I pinch and squeeze them, shutting my eyes in ecstasy, I groan with pleasure. Now I know... why dogs like to have their ears scratched.
Except I have thumbs and can do it myself... it's almost sexual in pleasure, it feels so good. My mouth loosens; I feel an urge to breathe faster.
I pant, then shut my mouth, swallow, and stare at Zach.
"Muh. Rrrrruh. Sssssuh."
"Well, aren't you quite the talker?" Now I can see, his jaws have to move a lot, to make all those sounds, and they aren't even English, but it's close, all chopped up, full of growls. What's strange is how normal it sounds, to me, but I can tell that it shouldn't.
I notice some red poking out of his sheath, and I stare down and pull mine up to cover me, feeling self conscious all of a sudden. He continues like he didn't notice.
"You're going to need heavy wetware augmentation to speak, at first. We'll activate a trainer program to help. Wanna try that?" I nod. "First, activate the graphical display by focusing on your nose. Understand?"
"Muh." I'm so curious! I focus on my nose, and my whole field of vision ripples- from the center outwards. Bright, sharp graphics scatter into the edges of my vision, data fields with arrows pointing at many objects in the room, all labeled EMPTY and UNSET.
When I try to flick my eyes directly to one, it shifts into the center. Easy. I see a flicker to my upper right, (Incoming Connection: Allow?) I hear some of the words, as well as see them, in the same male voice I'd heard earlier. (Zacharus ZK H23781x2E8H) A green light spirals around his body, highlighting him. More fields are listed next to his head, all marked EMPTY. I see text, (User Zach has suggested you enable vocal assistance. Activate? Learn more? Cancel? Block?)
"Just focus on activate." He starts panting again. I smell something new, and think it has something to do with the tube of lipstick between his legs. Why is it doing that? Activate flashes twice, then darts to the lower right field of my vision, disappearing. I try to speak.
"Muh. Myyyy. Wwaa." I swallow, noticing that my tongue feels like it's half a foot long, and it is. It keeps wedging into all the wrong places of my mouth, "my guh, goduh. Whuh. Tuh. Whut, the foo-uchuh. Fuck!"
Zach barks laughter. "And so it is. What the fuck? Your first words, and fine ones at that... but go slower, so your wetware can assist you. It will learn, and thus, so will you."
I reach up and point at his sheath. His gaze follows my fingers and he quits panting, reaches down and pulls up to cover himself. He grins but then hides it, clearly embarrassed.
"Arrrick... Keman..." He pronounces it, 'Key-men,' and I wonder if it has any significance, "I was employed to design your body. I worked very hard to produce something that I thought you would like. As well, to produce a form that I thought would be liked by others. I'm bisexual, so of course I'm attracted to you. And you just shot precum all over your muzzle, you don't think my body would react to that?"
I don't know what to say, so I change topics, before I get more confused.
"Whuh. Why... Key Man. Keymen?"
Zach smoothes his whiskers back, which looks to me like a nervous expression, but I can't be certain. "That's what you are, the key to someone's heart, and you were a man. You're destiny is to unlock that heart."
"Who's?" I'm lagging, this is all too much to take in. I want to retreat to catch my breath, but there is nowhere in the world for me to do that yet.
"Someone... someone very special. Once again, you're not going to remember any of this, at least, at first, but I won't say his name. It might ruin the experience. I know what's in your future, Keman. I've lived it, to a certain extent, myself." He laughs at this, but it sounds somehow sad, "everything else, I designed." I feel even more confusion.
"What doo yoo mean?"
"Your whole future, I designed it. That's why I laughed so hard earlier, when you asked if I was god. I hadn't really thought of it that way, before... but. Well." He shrugs.
My elation dwindles, I actually don't like the sound of this. I stare around at all the equipment surrounding us. Tall, shiny machines with complicated workings, a lot of exposed wires of many colors. Surprisingly few status lights or displays of any kind. Cooling ducts piping air? Water? To many of them.
The floor is level with the platform I'm on, and both are padded, I notice. I can recognize... absolutely nothing around me. I might be in a machine shop, or a surgery. Maybe some combination of the two. I don't want to anger Zach, I feel like I owe him my life. But, whose life is it?
"Zack-kuh. Whut if... I sssay no?"
Zach leans close to me, and a new scent wafts into my nose, his cold blue eyes bore into mine. He laughs, once, then growls deeply, I feel the vibrations in my chest, he's so close.
"After all that was done to bring you here? No, you don't get to say no to god. Yes? Such decisions... are beyond the scope of your capabilities."
I stare back, feeling an old, undesirable emotion come to life. A new scent becomes present, my anger. I lift my lips, just like he did, showing my pointy teeth.
Zach pounces on me, he grabs my muzzle tightly, digging in his claws, I watch white teeth flash inches from my eyes, then he shoves me away with a yelp, bouncing away and quickly turning his back to me, with his tail held low.
His shove felt like a reflex, and it all happened as fast as I can blink. I shiver and look around wildly, feeling too slow and too late to do anything to protect myself. Did that just happen?
"My mistake," he quietly says, "You are not one of us, yet. Anger and direct eye contact, never a good combination to show another Rhenthar, not ever." I see his head nod, "this will be hard." His back rises and falls as he exhales, "I have to program an entire childhood into your mind. You would get killed asking for directions." Soft laughter, his head bobbing with it, "I am so jealous of you, though. I can control your temperament through your memories..."
I shake my muzzle, air blows past my whiskers with a tickle, pulling at my attention. I want to stand up, I want to run, eat, and live in this new body... there is so much to do, so much to try! But... will that be something for someone else? Am I just a placeholder? Why does he need me for anything?
"Zack. Why nott beycomm this key yourrself?" I gesture around me, though he can't see me, but surely this equipment can modify his own mind, perhaps his own body.
Manic laughter, a soft howl, mournful. "I tried that already. I almost died for my sin." He nods to himself, "I would do anything for him." So he... is a he. Well that's good.
My heart slowly pats, various pieces of machinery quietly click and whirr around us. My ears point to each source of noise, all on their own. I think about what this creature has done for me so far. I died, and am alive, again.
In a body I would have killed for, in my previous life. I had never been satisfied with the human form; I always hated my body, despite how attractive others often found me. Canines held something special in my mind, but there was little I could do about it, besides stare, and wish I had been born as something else.
Now I have been. No god of mine has ever offered such a destiny, only a lame death from an allergy to what I was trying to become.
I can't stop myself from laughing bitterly at this, it comes out like a growl mixed with a cough. Zach's ears go sideways, listening to me as he remains with his back to me still. I feel a sudden pang of guilt.
"Ey. Eyem nawt laffing hatchoo. Hah. Hat, you." I slow down, pulling my lips carefully over a mouthful of sharp, predator's teeth. I can taste copper and the scent of it is in my nose: I've bitten my tongue in numerous places already.
"I am not laughing at you." Slower definitely works better.
Zach turns around to stare at me. I see him wipe a tear from his eye. Oh. But no animal on earth cries except man. A sharp indicator from where Rhenthar come from, I begin imagining the chromosome build, then shove these thoughts aside to the here and now. I need to make this right.
"Hey. Sso, there's this dude you want me to meet. I'll dooo it. I'm sorrry to have grrown angry. I should be flattered and thankful. You didn't just save my life, you've given me a whole new one. I owe you everything forrr that." I pause inwardly; shocked that I can talk so well, going slow, "just answer me this... is he hot?"
Zach seems lost to the question, then he gets it. "I would say... the hottest." How can I say no? This is the chance of... my next lifetime.
"Ok, what's next, Zach? You've helped me, I'll help you." His tail starts to wag furiously.
"Next, we strip you of your human memories and replace them with Rhenthar. Enough so you can function in our society. A lot has changed in six centuries, too."
Er, I didn't like the sound of that...
"What's wrong with who I am?"
Zach covers his nose with a paw, "you stink. Your scent is all wrong, you act like alien. Imagine, what was it. Gray men alien, puts on a human suit. Walks around in city, says, take me to your leader? You would never believe he is human. It's like that with our nose. Your wetware has yours dampened by a thousand times. Our whole world is one of smell. Rhenthar don't need watches, we can smell what time it is. You could never pass as one of us." He darts glances around him, "and... others are looking for you. Right now. You would stand out, people would know. Method used to bring you here, very illegal."
"Ah." A thousand times stronger? I can't even imagine that, I thought already it was way stronger than what I had as a human.
Zach quirks one ear sideways, "it's ok. It will all come back to you. We'll make you primarily Rhenthar, with a Rhenthar's history, but later, your human side will come out. It will be needed , for you to succeed where I have failed."
Zach reaches down and takes my paw, pulling me to my feet, "up..."
I gasped, kicking my legs out as I woke up. The dream faded and my focus returned to him , he's all I really cared about. Still, the thoughts of the dream lingered like the scent of someone else... memories of someone else. I stretched out, noting the scent of him still sleeping in the room, then curled up on my side and shut my eyes.
Sleep returned quickly.