Chapter Two
#2 of To Be A Shadow
Chaos was lost in thought throughout the entire bus ride home. He didn't know if it was merely lust or something more, but he had an unexplainable attraction to Daichi and couldn't get rid of it. He had been about to give up hope throughout the speed dating session, but everything changed when Daichi appeared.
He was busy imagining what it would be like to be alone with the dark wolf, slowly undressing him and revealing more and more of his beautiful body. When he happened to glance out the window, the scenery didn't look right.
"Shit!" he cursed out loud. While he had been busy daydreaming, the bus had missed his stop.
All dirty thoughts vanished from Chaos's mind and he stood up in his seat. "Wait! Stop the bus!"
Everyone in the vehicle turned their heads to look at him and he felt like an even bigger moron.
The bus driver looked at Chaos through his mirror with an expression that clearly said he thought the other male was crazy. "Sit down!" he scolded.
Chaos didn't think it was possible for him to feel any more embarrassed and he hastily sat back down. "I missed my stop!" he called out as calmly as he could. "You have to stop and let me get off!"
"Well you'll have to wait," said the driver.
Chaos sighed and sank down as low in his seat as he could so that nobody could see him and laugh to his face. It served him right for being an obsessed idiot. What was so great about Daichi anyway?
Well, there was the fact that he was the sexiest man Chaos had ever seen in his life.
The bus came to a stop, preventing Chaos from slipping into another thinking daze. He got off the vehicle and stood around on the sidewalk for a few moments, trying to figure out where he was.
He had missed his stop, but he hadn't missed it by very far and was within walking distance from home. Some exercise couldn't possibly hurt.
Chaos began walking and put his paws into his pockets. One paw struck the scrap of paper with Daichi's address on it and he pulled it out. So what if he knew where Daichi lived? That didn't guarantee getting into bed with him.
A gentle breeze had started up and Chaos held the paper between his thumb and forefinger. If he simply let go, it would be blown away from him and he could go on living a normal life.
Chaos couldn't do it.
He thrust the paper back into his pocket, double-checking it to make sure it wouldn't fall out. Nobody in their right mind would throw away the address of someone who looked like Daichi. Such an act would make Chaos the dumbass of all dumbasses.
His apartment building was close. He could see the large cherry blossom tree that grew next to it and traveled faster, keeping his eyes on the burst of pale pink.
At last he let out a sigh of relief as he finally arrived home and approached the front entrance of the building. A homeless black wolf was out on the sidewalk, and for some obscure reason he was wearing a ruff around his neck, like a medieval English courtier.
"Got any eyeballs to spare?" he asked, staring at Chaos creepily.
"No, Kozi. No eyeballs today. And there never will be any eyeballs for you, so quit asking me."
Chaos hurried away from Kozi the homeless lupine and entered the apartment. As the doors were closing behind him, Kozi's voice floated in from outside. "But eyes are so useful. They see everything..."
Chaos tried to shake the eerie feeling that he got from the other man every time he saw him. He couldn't afford an extremely nice apartment, so he was stuck in an area surrounded by weird people.
He approached the elevator, but the yellow tape over the doors told him that it had broken down again. Great. That was the second time in just one month.
Chaos decided that it was turning out to be a healthy day for him. With all the extra walking, he would be the epitome of fitness in no time. He took the stairs, grateful that he only had to climb three flights of them, and nearly broke his key in his eagerness to get inside his home.
He immediately sat down on the couch of the tiny living room. He hadn't vacuumed in a while and noticed a couple of cobwebs that had sprouted up near the television. It wasn't a bad apartment; not a complete dump but not a model home either. It suited a single, poor man like himself just fine.
Now that he was finally alone and at peace, Chaos was absolutely starving. He got up off the couch and went into the kitchen to make his usual lunch of instant ramen. He was starting to get tired of the stuff, but it was cheap, and Chaos had to choose cheapness over taste.
He knew he needed to get another job soon. He hated being unemployed and wished he could just settle down and find a steady source of income. He had already had several jobs and had either been fired, or he quit.
He didn't know what was wrong with him, but none of his jobs satisfied him and he couldn't function well in the work environment. He kept wanting to be in charge, but it never worked out that way.
His noodles were ready and he grabbed a pair of chopsticks to eat them with. It had been a terribly long time since he had gone out to a good lunch in a nice restaurant. Ramen was good, but it just wasn't a proper meal.
Chaos was swallowing his last mouthful of noodles when the telephone rang. His heart suddenly beat faster. Had Daichi received his phone number from the speed dating organizer? Had he changed his mind and decided to call him up?
He came dangerously close to knocking his empty bowl and chopsticks to the floor in his haste to reach the phone. He tried not to sound breathless as he picked it up and said, "Hello?"
"Hey, Chaos. It's Bryson. I tried to call earlier but you didn't pick up, so I assumed you were out getting laid!"
Chaos felt a pang of disappointment. It wasn't Daichi after all, but his friend Bryson instead. "Getting laid? Yeah right. That speed dating thing didn't help me as much as I hoped it would."
"Well that's why you should try it again," said Bryson. "Then you'll get to meet even more people."
"I don't think that's going to work. You know I'm terrible at dating and that I've never been able to find someone who met my ideal standards."
"Chaos, you're way too worried about being single. If you relax and wait patiently, you'll come across the right person."
"I know I will. I think I found him today."
"Great!" Bryson exclaimed. "I'm sick of hearing you feel sorry for yourself."
Chaos sighed. "But the problem is, he doesn't like me. In fact, I don't think he likes anyone."
"So basically you picked a complete bastard? That was smart, Chaos."
"If you could see him, you would understand. All afternoon I've been thinking of nothing else but screwing him and it's driving me insane."
"Well my lunch break is almost over, so I have to go," said Bryson. "When I get off work I'll come over and we'll talk about this some more."
Chaos's disappointment was replaced with jealousy. He was at home lusting after someone who was completely out of his range while Bryson was working and making a good living for himself.
"All right, Bryson," he said. "I'll see you later."
Bryson hung up and Chaos set the phone down, suddenly irritated. Why was Bryson allowed to be so fortunate in life? He had a good job as a doctor and never seemed to have any problems. He didn't lack a sex life either and though he was currently single like Chaos, it took him no effort to get into relationships.
Chaos tried not to feel bitter over the others success. He needed Bryson's friendship too badly. Whenever Chaos didn't have a job, Bryson always helped him out financially and tried to find him new employment. Chaos felt like he owed him the most enormous debt imaginable and didn't know how he could possibly pay it off.
Perhaps someday he would miraculously win the lottery. If that never happened though, he hoped that he would eventually find a way to pay Bryson back for all he had done for him.
Chaos sat back on the living room couch and flicked the television on. He had had an interesting day and he felt that he deserved to rest and be lazy for a while. Plus, he needed his mind taken off of a certain dark furred, brooding wolf.
Hopefully Bryson could help him. And if Chaos had really, truly gone insane, then Bryson would be very useful in placing him in a good mental ward.
Daichi didn't feel like going home and had been walking around ever since he left the speed dating event. He thought that that type of dating would be good since he would be exposed to multiple people and judge them on first impressions, and none of his impressions had been very good ones.
That Chaos guy was especially weird. He must have been extremely desperate to keep pestering Daichi the way he did. Daichi had no use for a horny loser like that. He honestly had no idea what he wanted, but he was willing to keep looking until he finally found it.
As he walked and looked at his surroundings, he realized that the pet store was nearby. There was no reason for him not to stop in, since he was so close and he hadn't visited in a while.
After putting out his cigarette and crushing it on the ground, Daichi opened up the door of the pet shop and went inside. Half of the store was filled with animals like puppies, kittens, birds, and fish, and the other half of the store was dedicated to all sorts of pet supplies. Daichi headed for the animal side of the shop and kept his eyes alert for a specific person.
One of the cages in the room was open and someone stood behind it holding a kitten. A closer look revealed that he was exceptionally pretty for a male. The thin otter stood at 5'25 with chestnut brown fur, snowy white chest fur, running down from his neck to his tail. His olive green eyes obscured slightly by his messy red hair. He didn't appear to see Daichi and petted the kitten.
"Hey, Richard. How have things been?" Daichi spoke up, drawing close to the otter.
At first Richard looked surprised to see Daichi, then his face broke into a smile. "You haven't been here in days, Daichi. What brings you here?"
"I just thought I would say hi. You always somehow help me through all my disappointments." Daichi absently paced back and forth. "Remember I told you about that crazy speed dating place? Well I tried it today and it didn't do me a lot of good. I think I'll have to start working again soon."
"No, Daichi," Richard protested. "You shouldn't have to do that anymore. I've asked you to work with me more than once. I'm sure if I talk to my boss, he'll let you have a job here."
Daichi shook his head. "I can't stand working with other people. That's why I'm self-employed. I probably make more money than you do anyway, Richard."
Richard slowly stroked the kitten's head and sighed. "Daichi, it's not a proper job. You've been doing it for too many years and you said you were finally quitting. Don't be stupid and change your mind now."
Daichi stopped pacing and grinned up at the otter. "You really don't like my line of work, do you? Richard's a good boy innocently selling his cute and cuddly little animals. You really shouldn't be associating with me."
"Well I do, and you know I wouldn't stop talking to you no matter what you did for a living." Richard handed the kitten over to Daichi and forced it into his paws. "He just arrived here today. Maybe he'll make you feel better."
"Thanks, Richard." Daichi held the small animal and petted his fur. "You're the best friend I've got in the world."
He stayed and talked with the feminine otter for a few more minutes until a customer came in and he decided to leave so he wouldn't interrupt business.
As Daichi went outside and lit up a new cigarette, he decided to go home at last. He needed some complete peace and solitude.
He glanced over his shoulder to take a last look at the pet store. It was the perfect place for Richard to work at, since he preferred animals over people. He was usually quiet and didn't socialize much, but he had been friends with Daichi for years and Daichi still couldn't figure out how they had developed such a good relationship.
A few years ago the two of them had started having sex for a little while, until both had decided that it didn't feel right. The sex stopped, and amazingly it didn't ruin their friendship.
Throughout his walk home, Daichi considered Richard's words. Should he go back to working, or finally find something useful to do with his life?
Shortly after three o'clock in the afternoon, Chaos heard a knock on his door and knew that Bryson had arrived. He quickly used his paw to brush the cobwebs away from the television, wiped his paw on his pants, and answered the door.
Bryson had changed out of his doctor's uniform and was wearing regular clothes, to Chaos's relief. Seeing the mouse's uniform always made Chaos's jealousy flare up.
"Is everything all right, Chaos?" Bryson asked, letting himself into the apartment. "You haven't been evicted yet?"
"The landlord doesn't know I'm unemployed," Chaos replied. "And I'm sure I won't be jobless for much longer."
"You talk about how you want to find your soul mate, Chaos, but no one is going to want someone who can't even make his own living. You're turning into the type of guy who still lives with his mom when he's forty-five."
Chaos glared at the cream colored mouse. "I need your advice and all you're doing is insulting me. It's a good thing you're just a regular doctor and not a therapist, or you would be fired within a day."
Bryson just laughed. Their arguments were never entirely serious and were only part of their strange friendship. "All right, Chaos, let's sit down and you can tell me what's been bothering you. You may think I would be a terrible therapist, but I'm all you have right now."
Chaos grabbed a couple of drinks and led Bryson to the living room couch. He spent the next several minutes explaining everything that he had done that day, excluding the embarrassing part where he had lied about having an ex-wife and got struck in the chest by the elder tabby. That was a private tale that he would prefer to forget.
After hearing the whole story, Bryson sipped at his beer and looked at Chaos. "I think you're right. You've gone completely crazy. If this Daichi guy wants nothing to do with you, then why chase after him?"
"It's kind of like the Goldilocks and the Three Bears story," Chaos explained. "After trying different people, I hit upon the one that was just right. And just like the porridge, and the chair, and the bed, Daichi doesn't belong to me but I still want him."
"Great, now you're using fairy tales as analogies. I worry about you, Chaos."
Chaos heaved a sigh of frustration, folding his ears back in slight annoyance. "Haven't you ever wanted something that you can't have? The fact that it's forbidden makes it even more desirable. That's how it is with Daichi." Chaos pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket and waved it in the air. "I even wrote down his fucking address!"
Bryson took the address, glanced at it curiously, then handed it back to Chaos. "Well if you want him so badly, then go get him."
"It's not as simple as that. I don't even know him, or anything about him. He could file a restraining order against me if I randomly go knock on his door and try to seduce him. There's got to be a different tactic."
Bryson emptied his can and set it on the coffee table. "I really don't know how to help you very much with someone you know nothing about. Why don't you find out more before you do anything else?"
"But how would I do that?" Chaos muttered, thinking to himself. He thought about everything he had done that day, including his visit to Daichi's apartment and his trip to his own home. Something that Kozi the homeless lupine had said suddenly entered his mind and stuck there like a magnet. "I think I've got an idea."
"That's a relief," said Brson. "What is it?"
The tiger smiled mysteriously. "I can't tell you right now. You'll just laugh at me and enroll me in the nearest mental hospital. Basically I have received wisdom from a man living on the streets."
"That sounds like some pretty weird wisdom."
"Exactly."
Bryson stood up and ran a paw through his blond hair, looking at Chaos with a rather perplexed expression on his face. "I think this is one of those times when I should just leave you alone and let you vent out your craziness. Let me know if your little plan works."
"I will," said Chaos. "I'll see you later then."
Bryson said farewell and left the apartment, and Chaos was left alone to do some serious thinking. He knew he was clever enough to put his plan into effect, but he wondered if it was safe to actually do it.
Screw the consequences. Chaos would worry about them when they came.