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Maximus’ Mission By Limewah Subscriber Reward for Moggers (June 2024)

Maximus always gets his mark.

That’s what they say about me. If I set my sights on a target with a big enough bounty on their head, they might as well pack it in. I’ll pursue them to the ends of the earth. Not just for the payout, but for the sake of my pride.

Aside from the bit about my pride, I’ll take it. I can’t say it myself, what with my being a four-legged horse n’ all. I’ve got all the intelligence of any other uplifted beast, but I’m cursed with no proper vocal cords to work with.

That’s why it’s nice to have other people talk about my reputation, to expect that when I go on someone’s trail, I’m not gonna come back empty-hooved.

I’ve got my ways of wranglin’.

I’ve been hot on the trail for more than a week now. The local baron’s biggest coinpurse, one that was especially big n’ bulging, vanished off his belt loop and disappeared while he was bewitched by a dancing tigress. She was seen with an accomplice, escaping the settlement and heading towards the ruins of the old Botanical Gardens - what was left of them, anyway.

They couldn’t have gone far, especially if they were on foot. I could gallop halfway across the barony in the time it took for them to reach the ruined labyrinth. I guess it’s still a bit like a garden now, it’s absolutely full of greenery. Though it’s all ivy and wildflowers instead of those bright delicate flowers that died when there was even a stiff breeze.

Most of them tasted awful, too.

“SUZU!”

A feminine voice, deep, but anxious. Definitely one of the two culprits. Did they get separated…?

Excellent. That means it’s time to divide and conquer.

My hoofbeats slow down, and I take care not to clop my hooves on any of the left over stonework. I trot in the free patches of dirt, listening out for my target’s breathing, and the bells that jingle with every step she makes.

A wild monster would get her, if I didn’t.

She’ll be far better off with me, even if she won’t realise it right away.

I snort. I’ve got her scent. As I creep and dip my head low, moving like a feline predator, I catch a glimpse of black-striped orange fur.

She’s got a lot of meat on those bones, clearly the dancing and the thieving is paying off. But not for much longer.

”SUZU!” She shouts again, her huge paws cupped around her snout. She puts a lot of effort into it this time, bending forward and using all her breath in it. Then she plops that thick rump of hers against an old pile of brickwork.

Her olive green cloak is doing a poor job at hiding her skimpy clothes beneath.

I’m not attracted to bipeds, as a general rule. But she’s got a cute face, and sparkling green eyes, and there’s something almost innocent about her lost look, even though she’s almost as tall as me.

That innocence must be what makes her such a good criminal.

If it’s an act, she’s good at keeping it up when I charge forward in a surge of hoof and muscle, and stop just in front of her.

I can stop on a silver coin, so right up to the moment I plant myself, she definitely has her life flash before her eyes, thinking she’s going to get pancaked between a ruined stone wall and hundreds of pounds of horse-muscle. She’s shrunk against the wall, her knees up, her arms up to protect her face.

I snort again, and her hair is blown back from the force of the air.

”Ah, uh, uhm… n-nice horsie?” She squeaks.

That makes it the 122nd time a mark has said that to me. I smirk down at her, and she meekly smiles back, even though she’s not in on the joke.

That smile’s not going anywhere. I’m gonna pacify her quick.

I lower my head down to her level, and push my forehead right against her face so there’s nothing she can see aside from my massive eyes. Even if she were to turn her eyes completely to the right or left, she wouldn’t be able to escape my stare.

My eyes begin to swirl pink and blue and yellow, a trick I picked up from a swamp witch in return for pruning her lawn every other week.

“Unh…?” She looks confused, but only a little surprised, and then, funnily enough, she looks almost… annoyed? “Not this again…”

I don’t care what she means by that. All that matter is it’s working. Her pupils and irises vanish, and her eyes are only blank white for a moment before they begin to ripple and ebb with the same rings of colour as mine.

I tilt and weave my head from side to side, and she follows. Her raised, defensive arms finally fall, and when I slowly walk backwards, she follows me. Her head’s always the leader, the rest of her sort of dangling and slithering behind her. First her slumped shoulders, then her dangling arms, then her stomach and hips, and finally her feet, less striding and more stumbling.

I keep swaying my head, my snout swinging downwards as if I’m trying to sweep the floor. It’s a little awkward maneuvering through the leftover ruins of a space meant for much smaller creatures than me, especially since I can’t see where I’m going. But she won’t notice any awkwardness. My magic spell sees to it that those colours are the only thing she sees or perceives.

She’s quite a graceful mover, even when she shambles like a mindless ghoul, and I can spy the bells beneath her robes as they jingle and shake. I take the tie of the cloak in my teeth and delicately pull it open, letting it fall away and show off all those juicy curves.

I lift my head up, and the tiger strains to follow it, her eyes wide, her jaw slack and drooling.

It’s hard not to enjoy this. That helplessness, the sleepiness… knowing that she’ll do whatever I direct. Though being able to speak would make it easier, there are ways to make it clear what I want.

By the time we’re out of the labryinth and into the open, her brain is gone. Time to bring her home. I’ve got two methods for transport… it’s always fun to have a target ride me back to the bounty-giver, spiral-eyed and unaware.

As her slack jaw snaps up into a smile, I dip my head down low, and she slumps down to follow it. It takes a few prompting head-tilts to get her to step onto my neck, but she eventually gets the hint, and I hoist her up onto my back.

But she doesn’t just sit down. Instead, I feel her feet press into my spine, making me stumble. She’s heavier than she looks, and she looks heavy to begin with!

I crane my neck to watch her. She’s smiling like a puppet, and she’s squatting up and down on me, her arms up above her head, her fingers intertwining. She’s dancing as if there’s music playing… her belly and breasts bounce and jiggle with each rise and fall, and each low squat makes my whole body dip. If she keeps this up she’s going to snap my spine…!

I can’t tell her to stop…

I’m going to have to use plan B.

I bend down low to anticipate her next squat, and then as she comes back up I leap upwards with all my might. She flies up into the air, off my back, stiff as a caber.

If I don’t catch her, she’ll break something, and it’s a pain trying to ensorcell someone who was nursing an injury.

So I wheel around, sit down on my haunches, and open my mouth as wide as it will go. I breathe in deep, and my throat relaxes and expands.

As always, my form is perfect. I feel her feet slide into my open mouth, and she’s embedded up to her thick thighs immediately. I gulp and pull her down, as bit by bit she slides down my throat. My teeth squish against her thick, firm hips… if I were a carnivore, I’d be in heaven.

And I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy this, even if it was mostly a convenient way to transport ‘cargo’.

I lean my head back, and exhale through my nose, trying to relax and let gravity do the work for me. She slides quickly from her hips to her chest, and it takes a little while to gently knead them past my jaw.

Once she’s in neck deep, I can stand up again.

She squirms a little in my throat. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a puddle, some left-over rainwater from a recent storm…

My teeth frame her smiling face. Her eyes and nose and mouth are all that’s visible now, and she grinning away with those spinning eyes, probably deep in a wonderful dream.

I snap my jaws shut and gulp her down the rest of the way, feeling her thick weight sagging in my gut. I turn and start to trot my way back towards the Barony.

It’s going to take a while to work my way up to a full gallop with the extra load, but it shouldn’t take too long.

Besides… surely her friend would come looking for her, right?

—

Welp, looks like I’m looking for a new dancer.