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Dawn of Desire

Chapter 6: Wanting Him

Sneak Peek

Donner didn’t spend much time in his pit of self-loathing. He did what any college dude would do after a bad date. He did a sad yank session and went to bed. The next morning he woke to his alarm going off, his eyes cracking open as he groaned in disappointment as he remembered who he was and what his life was.

Donner kicked the blankets off himself, his futon a jumbled mess from his tossing and turning. What would it have been like if he just let those comments slide? How differently would this morning have played out if he just let Ceil stay? Would he be waking up alone, or would he be cradled in the powerful arm of a kind man. Would he have woken to find that Ceil had made him coffee? Only to tell him he doesn’t like coffee and then go to the café on campus to get him tea. Maybe Cody would tag a long and Ceil would pay for him too because he was such a nice guy.

No, that wasn’t the reality he was living in, as much as he wanted it, Ceil didn’t see him that way. No, he saw him as some lowly harlot with a disgusting body count. Someone he could hump and dump.

“No, that’s not fair,” Donner sighed as he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the palm of his hand. “He wouldn’t think like that.”

But it wasn’t far off.

Donner stood up and shuffled his way to the bathroom to do his morning rituals and a nice cleansing shower. Even with everything that was going on, the suds and warm rivulets worked away the worst of the ache in his chest. Though he had a hard time focusing. The coyote’s mind kept wandering. A particularly warm rush of water was like a hand on his shoulder and back, the steam like hot breath tickling his neck. He even put his hand on the tiled wall and he imagined Ceil’s hand over his. The big lion’s paw practically eclipsing his while he thrusted into him. Mating him nice and deep and biting his sweet spot while taking him over and over.

“That ass is mine…”

“That ass is yours,” Donner muttered, his fingers slipping between his cheeks as the fantasy played in his mind.

“You’re lucky to have a man like me, aren’t you?”

“So…fucking lucky…” Donner muttered quietly as he slipped a duo of fingers into his hole, his free hand against the tile flexing, his nails trying to dig into the wall as his sensitive hole was probed by his fingers.

“Yeah, that’s a good little slut,” the imaginary Ceil played in his mind. “You’re lucky to be my first, you dirty little whore. Since you’re such a slut, why don’t we get more people in here to help with your womanly duties?”

“Fuck yes,” Donner moaned as he slipped his fingers in, his self-lubricating ass dripping pre over his knuckles. “Whatever you want.”

“Yeah, whatever I want? That’s what I like to hear, skank,” Ceil’s voice was deep, husky, disrespectful and domineering. Donner pressed deep and his cock throbbed.

But it felt empty.

“Damn it,” Donner pulled his fingers out of his hole and looked at his cock, his sheath barely plumped as his boner was sucked back up into it. He couldn’t get into it. That wasn’t Ceil. He would ask him questions, figure out the exact angle to make them both feel amazing, and then continue to reassure him through that fuck. He would be gentle and kind and caring and…and…

Donner held back a sob as he ran his face under the water and continued to finish up his shower. He wasn’t in the mood. As hot as he was for that dark Ceil, he just didn’t exist, and the Ceil that did exist only wanted him because his abilities played with the lion’s desires. Who knows if it was even the lion’s desire to be with him or just some twisted trick this power forced on him.

Either way, it was a mistake to have done it, and now he didn’t know what to do. He just needed some time to think things through.

The coyote emerged from his shower and got dressed before pulling up his phone and finding that he didn’t have any messages from Ceil. He didn’t know how to take that. He didn’t say that he could text him when he left the previous night, but not even a good morning? He wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. Was Ceil mad at him? Was Ceil even okay?

He stopped himself, took a breath, and let it out slowly. Ceil was a big boy, he could handle himself. He was the most well-adjusted guy he knew, so he wasn’t about to go flying off the handle thinking he did something stupid. For now, he would just need to focus on himself and get through his classes. Maybe after a couple days he would have thought things through and they could have a normal conversation.

Donner was magically dressed in some track pants and a hoodie, his backpack slung over his shoulder as a nice new pair of running shoes flashed onto his soles. He marveled at himself in the mirror and loved the look, but with a sigh a beany flashed on his head. He pulled the fabric down, his ears poking out of the holes in it. It was good for the cool temps, but he really didn’t want to be seen today. Especially by Ceil.

With that the coyote walked out the door and started his walk to classes.

***

“So, how did the whole date go with Ceil last night?” Cody asked as the two made their way to their next class. The buffalo and Donner shared a couple of classes in the afternoon, so they typically met up at lunch and went to class thereafter. Usually they would scramble a few assignments together just before class, working off each other’s answers to confirm if they were correct. Cody was usually the one who was right.

“It didn’t go well,” Donner admitted.

“Oh dude, I’m sorry,” Cody put his hand on the yote’s shoulder. “That fucking sucks. I know how much you liked him.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say it’s over,” Donner sighed. “But…it’s probably over.”

“You mind if I ask what happened?”

“Only if you don’t judge me or whatever.”

“No chance of that happening dude,” Cody chuckled. “Did you at least get to fuck before you fucked up? Ya know, get it out of your system.”

“No, I mean…yes?”

“Dude, you did the nasty with the most straight laced person on campus? You deviant.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. We had sex first and then we had our date night.”

“Wait, you fucked and then had your date?”

“Yeah, I know, I’m a huge fucking slut,” Donner snapped and crossed his arms. “He thought so too.”

“Woah, dude, what a fucking asshole,” Cody put his hand on his forehead. “I mean, he fucks you, then says you’re a slut?”

“Yeah! Right!” Donner decided to get angry instead of sad, his heart not able to take another cry session. Especially in the center of campus.

“So, dude uses you to pop his cherry, dump his seed he’s been saving since grade school, then thinks he’s better than you because it’s his first nut? Dudes a total jerk.”

“I mean, it’s kind of my own fault for thinking he would be different just because he’s bi now, or whatever.”

“What do you mean he’s ‘bi now.’ Ain’t it a ‘you’re born this way’ thing?”

“I mean, yeah, but I…er…”

“You telling me you turned a straight man bi?” Cody cocked his brow. “I knew the man was repressed, but I didn’t realize he was ‘praying in a closet’ repressed.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m just so attractive that I turned him bi or whatever. Can you please let me just finish what I’m saying?”

“Shit dude, sorry. I just get worked up over that slut shaming shit.”

“I mean, same!” Donner gestured to himself. “How do you think I felt when he thought I should be ‘honored’ that I’m the only one he’s been with? That his body count was one and mine was...more.”

“I mean, what is it now? Thousands?”

“Oh shut up,” Donner shoved his friend chuckling. “But even after all that he was asking if he could still text me. I mean, dude, give me some time to think.”

“And then you fucked him, right?” Cody cocked a brow.

“No!” The yote practically howled. “I told him to leave! I wasn’t in the mood to be treated like some slut. I wanted to be treated like I fucking matter.”

“Yeah,” Cody nodded. “You wanted to get fucked like a dirty whore on the second date after he fell in love with that bussy.”

“Oh my god, STOP,” Donner shoved Cody, the big buffalo not even phased by the smaller yote’s push.

“Seriously man, that’s fucked up though. Proud of you for sticking to your guns.”

“Thanks,” Donner shoved his hands in his pockets. “Honestly, I don’t know if I should keep this up or if I should just call it. He made it clear he thinks he’s better than me…would you want to be with someone like that?”

“I mean, yeah,” Cody shrugged. “But I like putting my brats in their place. You like being the brat.”

“I mean, yeah, you got me,” Donner admitted. “But…I don’t know. It was the way he looked down on me in a way that just made me fell so small. I don’t know. Usually when it comes to that dirty talk there’s at least a semblance of respect. You know what I mean? I just felt…I don’t know. Disrespected, and not in a good way.”

“Dude, trust me, I get it,” Cody smirked. “When I spit in my brat’s face they know it comes from a place of them wanting it. Usually they beg for it, but ya know.”

“Then I’m not crazy, am I? I’m not overreacting?”

“I mean, how much did he actually say?”

That gave Donner pause as he realized he read Ceil’s mind for most of what he “said.” Did he even really have that conversation with Ceil or just the lion’s kneejerk thoughts?

“Enough to make me feel like crap,” Donner finally admitted.

“Then I say cut that turd loose. There are plenty of other people out there. It’s a big campus, you’ll find someone else to obsess over. Hell, maybe someone will obsess over you.”

“That’ll be the day,” Donner rolled his eyes. “Thanks though dude.”

“Don’t mention it,” Cody shrugged. “The right guy will find you someday. Until then we can talk shit about the people that we couldn’t believe we were into. Remember that one twink from south hall that had the big dick you rode?”

“I know, and he was so bad in bed. For someone who said he was landing MAD tail before he sure as hell didn’t know what he was doing with it.”

“That’s what happens when you got too big of a dick. You let your performance get rusty.”

“That’s funny coming from you,” Donner smirked. “From what I remember you got the deluxe package for a breeding bull.”

“Yeah, you and everyone else I’ve slammed into a mattress loves it.”

“Too bad you prefer girls,” Donner winked. “I could have made you a very happy man.”

“You sure as hell did that one night. But we just work better as friends.” Cody elbowed Donner. “Besides. Girls just hit sweeter than dudes. Given, dudes are so easy. You just snap a dick pick and they come running. Chicks like the romance.”

“I like the romance stuff too,” Donner furrowed his brow. “I had a date with Ceil, remember.”

“Yeah, but you fucked him first right? Right?” Cody egged him.

“Oh come off it,” Donner waved his friend’s comments off. “Not like you haven’t smashed then dated before.”

“Yeah, every dude I’ve ever been with was like that,” Cody smirked. “The chicks though, they love my finesse. My secret is learning how to roll your ‘R’s outside of your mouth. She might not remember your name, but she’ll remember popping off like it’s the fourth of July.”

“How do you even do that?” Donner tried to do the rolling R sound and instead did a little raspberry, his spit spraying in the air before he slapped his hand over his mouth to stop it. “Shit, dude, how?”

“You planning on diving into some pussy sometime? Won’t do you much good.”

“Dudes like to get rimmed too.”

“Oh yeah, captain pink eye over here, huh?”

“DUDE! Gross! Why do you always take it too far!”

Cody was just chuckling, unable to say much as Donner smacked his arm.

“Um, are you Donner?” Someone asked.

The coyote and the buffalo stopped mid stride to see a tiger. He was tall and slender. He wore a track suite with the zipper undone. His tank top was tight against his skin and a golden cross dangled between his pecs.

“Yeah, um…that’s me,” Donner’s eyes drank him in. He was hot, really hot. He was no Ceil, but he had that Italian mafia look to him while still having kind golden eyes.

“Hi, I’m Rajit,” he shouldered his backpack up higher as he leaned on one leg. “Listen, I’m Ceil’s dorm mate and I typically don’t get into his affairs or anything, but he’s…he’s been acting strange since last night.”

“What do you mean?” Donner cocked a brow.

“I mean, he’s been distant and…weird. You didn’t try to make a pass at him did you? He get’s really flustered when people try and…well, everyone knows you’re where to go if they want to get some.”

“Excuse me!” Donner stepped forward, his voice going low.

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